Disclaimer: I do not claim to own Bleach or any of its characters.

Author's Notes: Yes. I AM thoroughly exploiting Rukia's love for Chappy, and I am enjoying every delicious moment. Story doesn't contain a lot of thought, just words and action.

Meanwhile, in the Bleach universe, I am patiently waiting for Ichigo to start bawling at his loss of contact with his favorite shinigami. (And I mean Rukia)

Terms:

Fukutaichou: From what my sources say, it means "executive officer", "vice-captain" and the like.

-dono: suffix, something like "sir" Rukia means it sarcastically.

Enough. A Rukia and Renji Story

(Because Renji technically could use his rank to seduce Rukia, but doesn't, and Rukia needs a good bonk on the head when it comes to relationships.)


Inside the 6th Division's Vice-Captain's office, Rukia collapsed onto a cushion.

From his desk, Renji raised an eyebrow at her action. Quietly, he pushed his pile of paperwork to the side and removed an object from his desk drawer.

Irritated at his lack of greeting, Rukia gave Renji a 'look'.

"What?" Renji asked, annoyed.

"You summoned me here. You tell me."

She smirked. "Fuku. Tai. Chou. Dono."

Renji glared at her.

Rukia smiled.

"So…why exactly have you called me here? Fuku. Tai—"

A plushie hit her head.

Renji glared at her before snatching a paper from the pile on his desk and using it to conceal his face.

Rukia blinked and held up the plushie to her face.

"…Chappy?"

Behind the paper, Renji grunted an affirmative, eyes skimming the sheet, but not really digesting the information on it.

Rukia cradled the plushie in her arms. She noted the little heart the bunny held in its hand.

"Renji…"

He let his head tilt around the edge of the paper (that he wasn't really paying attention to in the first place) to glance at her.

"Whaaat?" His reply was annoyed and unnecessarily drawn out.

Rukia ignored his tone, and continued, rocking the plush bunny back and forth.

"…why did you give me this?"

Renji gave a defeated sigh. Slamming the paper down, he went in front of Rukia, eyes boring into hers as he put his arm around her back.

"Renji?"

Rukia stared at Renji, shocked. He yanked her towards him. His touch was gentle though, and the Chappy plushie remained in her arms.

"Wha?"

With one hand, Renji took the Chappy plushie by the ears and held it above her grasp.

"Chappy!" Rukia's eyes followed the plushie's direction, confused.

She stared up at Renji. Refusing to meet her eyes, he focused his gaze to the top of her head. Unconsciously, he moved to brush a lock of hair away from her face before placing his hand on the small of her back.

Rukia tilted her head a little higher to see him.

"Renji…" her mouth moved into a question, but all Renji heard was the ending.

"…Chappy?"

Something inside Renji snapped. He gritted his teeth, clenched the rabbit's ears in his fist, and proceeded to bonk Rukia on the head with the plushie's body.

"WANT TO KNOW 'WHY'!"

BONK!

"BECAUSE."

BONK!

"I."

BONK!

Renji's face tightened.

BONK! BONK!

"CARE."

BONK!

"ABOUT."

Rukia closed her eyes.

BONK!

"YOU."

BONK! BONK! BONK!

Rukia's opened in surprise. She attempted to look back up at Renji, but he wasn't finished yet.

"You…"

BONK!

Rukia flinched. She covered her head.

"IDIOT!"

BONK! BONK! BONK!

"!"

BOP.

The bonking stopped

Opening one eye, Rukia peered up at the man in front of her. Renji was gazing at her, his eyes half closed in embarrassed adoration.

"I love you."

Her eyes flew open wide.

Renji blushed and looked away, the hand holding Chappy moving to rest at his side.

Rukia slowly put her hands down from their defensive position above her head.

She stared at Renji for what seemed like eternity to him, his face turning redder as the seconds passed.

"Renji…" she whispered.

This time, it was he who flinched. His arm started to withdrawfrom her back.

Rukia stopped it and kept it in place.

Her free hand reached up to press against his chest.

"I love you too."

He jerked his head towards her, eyes widening.

"Rukia…"

His embrace tightened. He pulled her closer.

"Rukia…" He said again, voice and eyes warm with emotion.

The hand on his chest moved up to gently press itself against his face. Renji closed his eyes in quiet rapture.

Rukia smiled softly.

"Renji…?"

"Hai?"

Renji was on Cloud Nine. He thought nothing could ruin this moment.

Nothing. Not work, not rampaging hollows, not the stupid strawberry hea—

He thought wrong.

"…Can I have Chappy back now?"


Author's Notes:

If you want an example of Rukia's eyes when Renji took her Chappy away, do this: Pick a friend. Offer them some food when they are hungry. As they reach for it, pull it away. Trust me, it's fun. But unfortunately, they wizen up after a while… --;;

I'm working on another story right now, probably a one shot. (With lots of Rukia crack pairings) On the Subject of Kon will be updated in two weeks time, at the most.

The other title for this fic: Love Hurts

Feedback is appreciated. So is constructive criticism, but if you do give me some, be gentle pls.