One day while reading Kit Spooner's excellent high school Miyako story "Bed of Nails," the song "1985" started playing on my computer. It's a bad combination- a story about a free-spirited girl who's very open about her sex life... and a song about the housewife that let her dreams slip away. Sound familiar? This idea was gnawing at my head all day at work (made worse when the song came up again on the radio... as it always does). I'm typically not a big fan of filks, but this turned out very well. I'm using the Japanese names since the dub takes place in '03 and that just doesn't have the same connotation.

Back in Zero Two
parody of "1985" by Bowling for Soup

Hear about Miyako?
Her life's been kinda slow.
Spends her days at home.
Three kids to chaperone.
She never thought she'd be
into monogamy.
Standing proud at Ken's side,
but now she feels denied.

She was gonna play the field,
maxing out her womanhood.
She was gonna shoot for dreams
just like any Chosen should.
But childhood went so fast,
her glory days are past.
Her pals have awesome lives,
while she's a... she's a... housewife!

And her friends are a copper,
lawyer and a doctor.
They sell clothing or ramen,
while one is blasting off again.
Her three kids say "Mother,
you're just like any other."
Poor girl, if she only knew
way back in... back in... back in '02.

She lived for adventure.
Couldn't get enough:
open the digital gate,
and digimental up.
Not afraid to fawn
over guys like Shurimon.
Got her Jogress on
while she tried to taint Hikari-chan.
Such an attitude- where'd it all end?
How come she only dated one out of eleven?
Takeru's whole ordeal equals book deal.
Why couldn't she become...
Writer? Teacher?
Or a Hypnos girl?

Friends with a copper,
lawyer and a doctor.
They sell clothing or ramen,
while one is blasting off again.
Her three kids say "Mother,
you're just like any other."
Poor girl, if she only knew
way back in... back in... back in '02.

This fate thing makes her sick.
How did Taichi make it in politics?
And how did Mimi end up on TV?
It makes her sick... sick... sick!

While all her friends are a copper,
lawyer and a doctor.
They sell clothing or ramen,
while one is blasting off again.
Her three kids say "Mother,
you're just like any other."
Poor girl, if she only knew
back in '02.
And she's friends with a copper,
Lawyer and a doctor.
They sell clothing or ramen,
while one is blasting off again.
Her three kids say "Mother,
you're just like any other."
Poor girl, if she only knew
way back in... back in... back in '02.

Author's Notes
Most people should know the Japanese equivalents for the kids, but in case you aren't familiar with some of the terms, Chosen Digi-destined, "Digital Gate Open" "Digi-port Open," "Digimental Up" "Digi-Armor Energize" and Jogress DNA digivolve.

"How come she only dated one out of eleven?" is a reference to "Bed of Nails," where Miyako sets a goal to date each of the other eleven Chosen.

"Hypnos Girl" as a career choice definitely refers to the dub, where Yolei and Riley have the same voice actress. And seeing Yolei as a Hypnos Girl would be really sweet.