Pirates of the Caribbean: The Many Faces of Mary Sue

by psychotic kitten

Disclaimer: I own none of the characters from Pirates of the Caribbean nor do I claim to be responsible for creating any of these types of Mary Sues. I am merely pointing them out and making fun of them. Also, I don't claim to be the first person to make a guide such as this. The original one (which is for LotR fanfiction) was made by Feana Puddlefoot and she deserves credit for it. My version is based on hers but with my own twists and turns. And obviously, it's for PotC fanfiction, not LotR.




I'll admit it, I've created her at some point in my life, and I'm sure you have too. I'm talking, of course, about Mary Sue. She's perfect, she's beautiful, she's tragic, she's unoriginal. We hate her. Why? Because perfect, beautiful, tragic, unoriginal people are boring to read about. But you already knew that.

What you may not know is that Mary Sue has evolved. That's right folks, she's not the virgin next door anymore. In fact, now she can be Jack Sparrow in drag, a redheaded Elizabeth, a corset-hating noblewoman, or a cross-dressing pickpocket. And those are just a few of the new Sues who have swam their way oh-so gracefully into the Caribbean.

Some can become interesting characters if you give them depth and stick them in an original plot. But if your story consists of Mary Sue being proposed to by Norrington, having Jack Sparrow dive in the ocean to save her, finding a cursed treasure that makes you immortal, and getting marooned on a godforsaken spit of land where Mary Sue burns the rum and has sex with Jack, I strongly advise you to pay very close attention.

In the next chapters I will pick apart and explain the many faces of Mary Sue, her predicable tendencies, plot clichés, canon corruptions, and general overall hideousness.

Keep in mind I'm not trying to bash Mary Sue because, honestly, she's too funny for me to hate. But I'm not taking the blame for offending anyone, so if I do, I say it's your own fault for being so sensitive and not understanding the concept of a joke. This guide is for you to laugh at and learn from. I'm open to ideas that anyone wants to add, so don't be shy. Also, feel free to let me know what you think. I live off of good and bad reviews so anything you say can only benefit me!

Now that that's taken care of, off to the first chapter...