A.N: My first dabble into the wonderful world of Doctor Who! I am still in stubborn refusal to believe that Eccleson's leaving, so this is AU. Hope that you enjoy it!

Disclaimer: I don't own it. All I own in a quarter share in a little 2 inch high Tardis, and my own dreams and imagination….

The Greatest Summer of All Time.

Chapter one: Domesticity? More like insanity!

By

Starlite1

Josie Tyler was bored. Her parents were out at work, and her twin brother Adrian was shouting curses at his X-Box. So far the summer was turning out to be a complete and utter waste of time and effort. At least there were only two months, three weeks and five days until her first day of high school began. Of course, she could always call her best friend Anita, but that would inevitably lead to more last minute party plans and preparations than the oppressive heat allowed.

Sadly, lounging about whilst Jackie Tyler is within a hundred miles is inevitably invoking a stream of scolding followed by a summary of almost incomputable chores that needed to be done before her parents returned home for the evening. Many times she had wished for a time machine that might just spare her.

Thus she wasn't surprised when she heard the piercing voice of her grandmother as she bustled into the room, her salt and pepper hair tied back off her face and neck in an effort to find some relief from the heat, "You. Get off your backside! The pantry needs a clean, the whites need ironing, and your new uniform needs adjusting! Not to mention the silver, the porcelain and the attic…"

Josie rolled her eyes, "We did the pantry less than a week ago, the whites can be done anytime, and there's almost three months to go until I need the uniform!"

"Not if I know your parents…" Jackie muttered, "There's no reason to put it off. We need to get them done, miss, and seeing as you're not doing anything other than slouching about, you can get off your high horse and get a move on!"

Knowing that the battle was lost, Josie wrenched herself out of the deep well of the couch, and trundled miserably after her gran.

There was something about the middle ages, that just was so unique that made it vividly distinct from every single other place that they ever visited.

"Seriously, it's the smell that sets it apart, I'm sure!" Rose told her husband, as they waltzed down the muddy street of a diminutive hamlet in Northern Scotland somewhere around the year 1350,

He looked at her, astonishment clear in his eyes, "You've got to be kidding me! If there's one thing that sets this apart, it's the stupid mentality of the age. The smell comes standard in any run down part of history, hell, maybe even in the 4th empire!"

She snorted, "Oh, come on. The mentality hasn't changed and you bloody well know it!"

"You're right, you know." He said with a heart melting grin, "Gotten tired of the stench yet?"

"Oh, I'm not so sure. It can really grow on a girl, and anyway, you promised me a jousting tournament, didn't you?"

"Indeed I did. And as I am bound to obey your every wish, I suppose we should go and have some fun!"

"After you, My Lord! Which reminds me, where is Jack?"

"Three guesses. The pub, the brothel, or the streets."

Surprisingly, Jack Harkness found himself in none of these places, but instead in an armoury. As godfather to the twins, it was his duty to give amazing presents, particularly for their birthdays, yet so far, he had found nothing for his godson. Something from here was his last chance. Even though his father would most likely kill him, it would be worth it just to see the look on the boy's face.

His eyes scanned along the rows of weapons, looking for something that would be mildly suitable for him. Instantly, anything larger than a Yard was outlawed. It was a gift, not something to be hidden in the back of the infamous Tyler pantry. A dagger would be a distinct possibility, and knowing his genes, he would no doubt end up in enough trouble to warrant one. Quickly glancing along the display he found just the right one for his purpose. Turning to the smith, he quickly closed the transaction. At least that had been sorted out, and he could now do the thing he liked best: Drinking.

Josie's entire being ached with overwork when she answered the door around five. Standing there was Anita, her hands overflowing with charts, lists and mounds of party paraphernalia, "You took your time getting to the door." She said cheerfully, marching up the stairs towards Josie's bedroom.

Grimacing slightly, Josie followed, "What have we forgotten this time? Everything's ready and fine!"

Anita spun round, nearly knocking Josie down the stairs, "What do you mean, everything's ready?" she demanded, her auburn hair swaying threateningly, "We have less than twenty four hours to create the grandest and most glorious party in the history of the human race!"

"I'm sorry, but that's already been taken." Came a voice from the basement door.

Josie spun round, "Dad!" she said joyfully, jumping from her point halfway up the stairs to give him an embrace.

"Hello yourself!" he replied cheerfully, "No need to kill me."

"Hello Anita," Rose said wearily from behind her husband, "How's the preparations going?"

"Hey Mrs. Tyler. We've still got heaps to do, and not enough time to do it." She answered, attempting to adjust one of the charts precariously dangling from her fingers without tumbling down the stairs.

Rolling her eyes, Josie turned to her mother, "So where did you go this time?"

A wicked gleam appeared in her mother's eyes, "Middle ages, jousting contest with William the Conqueror's great grandson. Mud was thicker than hair gel, the stench puts some of the things under your brother's bed to shame, and half of the people were missing teeth."

"What was that about my room?" Adrian demanded, sidling past Anita and her papers, succeeding in only sending half soaring down to the ground.

"Mum was just commenting how it smells worse than the middle ages." Josie bit back.

He stared at his parents, "So that's where you went today? Pull the other one!" he snorted, turning away to head out the back.

"Adrien…" his father said warningly, "Don't be disrespectful to your mother and sister."

"Fine." He said stubbornly.

With a grin, he added, "But y'know, they're right."

"Arrrghh!!" He shouted, practically sprinting out of the room.

It was at that moment Jack chose to make his entrance, "What did I miss out on?" Jack asked in bewilderment.

As usual, dinner was a loud, raucous affair in the Tyler residence. Plates were shuttled back and forth down the table, filled with foods from both near and far. Chatter filled the air, mingling with the raucous Cricket symphony occurring just outside the window. This was what Anita liked about coming around. Her own house was run like a dictatorship, and even considering speaking at the table was incomprehensible. She and her brothers and sisters had grown used to it. Here, the exact opposite was true. Thus, at least three times a week she found herself irrevocably sitting around the circular dining table in the conservatory engaged in a heated debate with Mr. Tyler, Adrien, Josie and their Uncle Jack about some of the strangest things under the sun. For instance, tonight they were talking about the political revolts that had plagued the television for almost six years now.

"When Harriet left, everything went to the dogs!" Mr. Tyler declared, reaching out and grabbing the salad from the other side of the table.

"But," Rose pointed out, "She stayed for nearly a decade, and that was after she had- how many was it?- Over twenty separate death threats, not to mention having her house bombed."

"Hmm, always knew that there was a reason I liked her." He replied, a distant look coming across his eyes, "Knew how to handle herself in a crisis, she did, which is more than can be said for the pathetic lot of the moment."

Anita giggled. Talk like this was tantamount to blasphemy in her house, "How would you know that she was good in a crisis?" she asked.

"Coz we met her during one." He remarked, "Don't think many people could call themselves sane after that day."

Josie looked at him sharply, "You met the President? And you didn't tell me?"

"It was about a year and a half before the pair of you were born." Rose interjected, "That day was pandemonium. A nice bit of fun, wasn't it?"

Jackie snorted, "Speak for yourself! I still get nightmares about it…" She shuddered, "Those things-"

"Topic change!" Rose, Mr. Tyler and Jack chorused hurridly.

"Why?" Anita asked, surprise at the reaction.

Rose gave her a gentle smile, "Because some of us are beginning to turn green, some for reasons other than the threat of loosing our stomachs."

"Am Not!" Mr. Tyler said indignantly.

"Greener than a bowl full of algae!" Rose replied

The situation quickly dissolved into a tounge-sticking out match, which left everyone with tears in their eyes. Anita couldn't help but realise that this was more of a home than her place.

Later that night, Josie lay on her bed, listening to the strange sound of her heartbeat. Instead of the standard boom-boom that all the hearts of the science videos their teacher had forced them to watch, her heart always went boom-kad-da-boom. It was strange, but somehow right.

From the trundle bed down on the floor came a loud snort as Anita turned over in her sleep. Downstairs, she could hear the Council of Elders talking softly. Wishing she were closer, she strained her ears:

"…Tardis Keys-?"

"-Ready-"

"-About-?"

"Not-"

"Do you-?"

There was a pause, "-No other way… come….hate…"

"…Idiot. You know…"

With a frustrated grumble, she turned over and attempted to go to sleep.

A.N: So what do you think??? Please tell me by clicking that little button down there. Constructive criticism is welcome, but flames shall be used to toast marshmallows