A/N: No, I don't own Wolf's Rain. Unfortunately enough. :( Well, this is a simple one shot of...erm...the wolves trying to teach Toboe what 'sex' is. But it's not what it seems...I'm so evil to them. Don't forget to review.
Wandering off on his own for a little bit, the young and cheerful pup Toboe pranced around the town without a care in the world. It was actually a pretty lively city. A whole town of people that didn't really seem to be mean, care about new comers, or anything evil going on in this place. Probably because of all the cops around. It certainly was a lot different from the sort of places Toboe was used too.
Looking into windows he saw all sort of neat things. Toys, books, but he sort of got side tracked at the animal pet store where there were dogs. Upon entry they went crazy. Barking, scratching at their cages, and he wasn't sure why! He wasn't a dog! He was a wolf for crying out loud! Toboe looked around as the dog's calmed down. Usually all the towns are wrecked to ruins, this one is just to perfect for words. Well, not completely perfect, but near perfection. Depends on your description of perfection. All Toboe knew is that he loved it here! The dogs loved him. Though, the cats tried to scratch him.
After some odd minutes of clattering the cage of a snake Toboe gave up on the old thing. He had to admit that it looked pretty good tasting but Hige had promised that he would try to catch something. Besides girls. The brown haired wolf sighed heavily. He wished that he could have a pet! That would be so cool!
"Why, hello there young man!" said the owner, as he came up to him using his walker. He tripped a few times but the old man got over there. "Were you looking for something in particular?"
"Erm, no. Just looking around!" Toboe exclaimed. "But, now I want a pet. Really badly. Really, really badly!"
"I see that you are excited," the old man said handing him a piece of paper with a bunch of typed writing on it. "Fill this out and then give it back to me. I shall look it over then have your parent or guardian sign it legally."
"Thank you so much!" Toboe perkily squeaked.
The old man covered his ears and said "Just be gone! You hurt my eardrums. Just come back when you've got it signed and I'll let you have a pet."
"Oh...gomen," he replied confused like.
Toboe trotted out, guessing that one of the guys would be his 'guardian'. They wouldn't be to pleased if there was a pet coming along. One of them would probably have the strong urge to eat it in the middle of the night if food happen to become scarce. Oh well. The least he could do was try.
"No," sternly said Kiba, crossing his arms.
Toboe sulked. "Why not?"
"We can't have pets! Hell, we're animals ourselves!" Tsume snapped back.
"Were you even using your brain?" Hige questioned.
"I guess that I'll give you guys time to make up your minds then. I'll be over there, sitting at the corner, filling out the form when you decide to say yes," chirped the young one.
Kiba said loudly "No! We've made up our minds. As the leader of this group I will not allow a slimy creature to come with us. The only one that can come is Tsume."
"Hey!" Tsume shouted at their 'leader'.
Hige chuckled a bit. He looked at Toboe who had started filling out that paper in the corner of the room. They just so happened to find an empty building; not to mention that it was extra nice to boot.
A couple of minutes passed by of what was considered to humans: Boredom. Tsume was kicking the old TV that didn't work anymore. It didn't turn on. Ever. Hige was supposedly dying of starvation, begging for someone to go get something to eat while he laid on the floor, but in all it's realism he was just to lazy to go get something hiself. Toboe was still filling out that form while Kiba spread out on the couch.
"You know, Toboe, even if you fill out that paper, we aren't getting a pet," advised Kiba who was staring at Hige. Only because he was moaning from supposed 'agony'. "And, you know Hige, you should get off of you lazy ass and go get food yourself."
"But I'm to lazyyyy..." Hige whined.
"I've noticed that," Kiba snapped back. "And we still aren't going to get a pet so you better just put that paper down. It's a waste of time to even fill it out."
"I'm filling it out anyway," Toboe said in a disgruntled tone.
"Not only am I bored by I'm hungryyyyy," whined Hige. "That's a dangerous combination, you realize this, right?"
"You annoy me and I'll kill you dead," threatened Tsume.
"Is there any other way?" Hige asked.
"This is a meaningless conversation!"
"Toboe? Are you still filling out that form?" Kiba asked trying to avoid hearing the other two bark at eachother as if their conversation mattered.
"You'll change your mind!" Toboe said.
After a few more minutes, Toboe suddenly stopped skittering on the paper in confusion. He didn't get this part.
"Hey, you guys? Can I ask you a question?" asked Toboe, looking at all three who were on the other side of the room.
"What?" Kiba questioned.
"Uuuugghhh..." groaned Hige.
"No," Tsume answered.
"What's sex?" Toboe asked.
There was dead silence.
Tsume looked at Kiba.
Kiba looked at Hige.
And Hige looked like he was about to die. From hunger that is.
Shocked, Tsume asked, "What did you just ask?"
"I asked 'What's sex?'"
"..." Kiba had no answer.
"My God, Hige, what did you do to him?" Tsume accused.
Hige sat up, scratching his head "What did I do? What do you mean 'What did I do?'"
"Your the perverted one. What kind of idea's have you been sticking in his head, chubby?" once again he accused him. Hige frowned his eyebrows and shook his head. He wasn't the one that gave him ideas.
"He came up with that on his own."
"How old are you Toboe?" Kiba asked.
"Two, in wolf years."
"And you don't know what s-s...ummm..that word you said is yet?"
"You can't even say it?" Hige questioned curiously.
"I can say it! I just don't want to use that word in front of virgin ears. Unlike you!"
"No, I don't," Toboe said cutely, blushing a bit. He smiled slightly. "Gomen."
"I'm not explaining 'it'," Tsume said, backing away from the pup.
"I'm not explaining s-s...yeah, that 'thing' to him either."
"God, am I the only one here that can say sex?" Hige asked. Kiba only blushed at the word and Tsume looked at the ground as if he were ashamed. "It's not like it's a swear word. Sex, sex, sex, sex, sex!"
"Stop saying it!" Kiba snapped. He whispered while shaking his head, "This is so embarrassing!"
"So, what is sex?" Toboe asked.
"First of all don't say that. Just because Hige says that doesn't mean that you have to," said Tsume. He pointed a finger at Hige and said, "That is what we call a bad example."
"Let's just explain this before Kiba blushes so bad that he's permanently red," Hige said and tried to forget Tsume's comment about him being a bad example. Just because he said sex he was a bad example? It's not like it was a bad word! Atleast, to Hige it wasn't.
They all looked at Kiba who was blushing very badly.
Toboe asked cutely, "Is he going to be okay?"
Kiba, Tsume and Hige sat Toboe on the couch and stood in front of him. None of them knew how to tell him what he was about to hear. None of this they had done before. They were never parents...thank God for that. And none of them were comfortable with the subject. At. All. Kiba couldn't even say the word much less talk about it. Tsume was embarrassed. Hige wasn't about to say anything. Even if he could say 'sex' he wasn't about to explain it.
None of them wanted to.
All the while, Toboe sat there, confused. Was it really that big of a deal? They all seemed so serious about it. The pup turned his attention to Tsume who had mumbled something about how embarrassing this was.
"Umm...sooo..." Kiba began, putting his hands in his pockets "Are you sure you don't have a clue what it is?"
He shook his head.
"Alright then," he sighed out. "Well, whenever you happen to meet a girl wolf, and, erm, you two begin to feel..." he trailed off into mumbles as his face began to turn red. "What is the word I'm looking for...?"
"Horn-" Hige was going to say but Tsume slapped a hand over his mouth.
"Virgin ears, chubby, virgin ears," he reminded.
Hige hit his hand away. "It's not like this is a conversation for virgin ears anyway. We're talking about sex, not cake."
"You've been saying sex the whole time! Why don't you explain it?"
"I may be able to say sex but I can't explain it! That's the embarrassing part. Besides...it's not like I ever...umm..." Hige found himself getting a bit red in the cheeks.
Toboe asked for the, what it seemed, the hundredth time that day "So? What is it?"
"When a girl wolf and a boy wolf fall in love, they start to rub against eachother's sides to show affection. And that leads to other things that are a little to much for me to say," Kiba said, his cheeks red from embarrassment. "The other thing is that word you said."
"You mean sex?"
"Yes, that. And stop saying that! It's making me blush!"
"Can you be more specific? It doesn't answer the question, really."
"No graphics! Just give the kid a Pent House magazine for goodness sakes. That'll explain everything, in the detail he's looking for!" Hige announced.
Tsume crossed his arms. "We want him to know about stuff that would actually happen to him, chubbles."
"Did you just call me chubbles?"
"Yes I did."
"And now forget that I ever said it."
Getting distracted by a fly on his shirt, Hige brushed it off, then looked back at Tsume who had a look of 'you idiot' on his face, "...uhhh…hi...?"
"Anyway," in a low tone Kiba continued "I think that you'll find out for yourself one day. You will fall in love with some wolf girl. That's all you need to know. I think that your instincts kick in from there. I mean, it's not it's happened to me yet, so I'm just guessing about the instincts. I could be wrong. But you'll probably know when the time is right and what to do."
"Would you guys be able to help me?"
All of them besides Toboe sweatdropped.
"Heck no," they all said in unison.
"I don't think he's getting the picture," Hige pointed out.
The leader shook his head slowly "No, Toboe, this is sort of a thing you have to do on your own."
"I still don't understand," Toboe said, looking at the form he was supposed to fill out. "How does that help me with this question? It says 'sex' and then it has a space by it. What does that mean is what I was asking. You haven't answered that yet."
There was a moment of silence.
"Not that it wasn't helpful!" Toboe added quickly.
"That's asking for gender! What in the world have we done to ourselves!" Tsume asked.
"We embarrassed ourselves for nothing!" Hige complained, slapping a hand on his forehead. "Why didn't you just tell us that in the middle of what Kiba was saying?"
"It was interesting," Toboe said cutely.
"Well, anyway, I'm not explaining it. Ever again," Kiba said.
"But what was the other thing that you were talking about? I want to know about that."
"Your turn, Tsume," the leader said, leaving to lay on the floor.
Tsume shouted "Why me? Hige? What 'bout you?"
"Hell no. I'm still hungry. And that has nothing to do with what he wants. I'm out of here now that I'm awake enough to do so," he replied.
And, so, Tsume was left to a curious Toboe.
It was supposed to be funny but it turned out to be…strange…and it was so short…hmm…well review please. Arigatou!
A/N: I just found this fic hiding in my Recycle Bin. I wrote it last year! Wow…anyway, I just wanted to post it and see people's reactions. Review! Review! Review!