"We're back!" Xellos and Death chorused, coming from another bathroom room. "What'd we miss?"

"Not much," Shadow said, popping a chocolate frog into his mouth. "They just went home from the hospital."

"Nothing fun happened?" Xellos asked.

"Only if your definition of fun is 'completely boring and uninteresting'. If it is, then yes, lots of fun things happened." Shadow snapped.

"My, you're in a sunny mood." Death said.

Shadow yawned. "Didn't get much sleep last night. I had to do that update for your brother. Every time I nodded off, he popped into my dreams."

"Well, you did promise."

"Alright!" yelled Toltiir. "Let's get this show on the road!"

"Uh, X? D? Your flies are open."

There were twin yelps.

"Nice panties, D." said Toltiir.

"Is that a thong?" asked Shadow.

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Shichinin no Sakura: Seven of Team Seven

by Shadow Crystal Mage

Persona 3: Team Seven, Ice Breakers and Names

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto, other people do. Neither do I own Batman, Card Captor Sakura, Harry Potter, Magic Knight Rayearth, Norse mythology, Robin, Slayers, Shichinin no Nana: Seven of Seven, Teen Titans, or the Endless. I did, however, make this story, though not for monetary purposes. Please don't sue me, I don't have any money as it is.

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Haruno Sakura woke up, stretching as she rose from her bed. At least, that's what she wanted to do. She only managed the 'wake up' part. The reasons for this were the other people occupying her bed- or perhaps it's safer to say 'the bed she was sleeping on'. To avoid a fight last night, they all agreed to share the bed. The bed used to be her- their?- parent's, so it was fairly big. They also unanimously voted that the pervert sleep on the floor, since none of them- none who were willing to admit it, anyway- wanted her in the same bed as them. Even in a straight jacket, she wouldn't have much of a problem doing perverted things to them if they were all in bed together.

As she got up, careful not to wake up any of her bedmates, she noticed that she apparently wasn't the only one already awake. She could hear the shower running and the microwave on in the kitchen. Looking around, she saw that only three other Sakura's sleeping on the bed. The pervert was still sleeping on the floor, still bound and gagged and tied to the door.

Padding out to the kitchen, she saw six lasagna meals being allowed to defrost on the table. A seventh was being removed from the microwave by another Sakura as she entered. That one looked at her, level eyes gazing at her with no emotion, before nodding in greeting. "Ohayo."

Sakura nodded back. "Ohayo," she said, taking a lasagna off the table and popping it in the microwave for herself. Then, she stepped back to wait.

"So," the other Sakura said, "which one are you?"

"Nani?"

"Which one are you?" the other repeated patiently. "The lazy one, the sex goddess, the one always on the verge of a nervous breakdown? Which one?"

Sakura blushed in embarrassment. "The one on the verge of a nervous breakdown. What happened? How did- I mean, that is-"

"How did one person become seven?" the other interrupted calmly, raising an eyebrow. Sakura blushed, hurriedly removing her lasagna from the microwave. The other watched for a moment, letting her regain her equilibrium with a few bites of lasagna. Then she relayed what Daniel had told her about the nature of the crystal pendant.

Sakura was silent for a moment, staring into her food. "So you're saying that I'm the original? How can you be sure?"

The other gave her a level stare. "We both have the same memories. Do you remember ever acting like a pervert? Or a sex goddess? Lazy sloth? Violent? Do you remember acting like me?"

Sakura shook her head.

The other nodded. "I don't either. I have memories of acting like you. That's how I'm sure."

There was silence for a moment, broken only by the sounds of the other Sakura finishing her food. "We have to wake the others up. It's almost time for the meeting."

Sakura scowled. "When you say 'the others', does that include the pervert?"

The other gave a minute, almost non-existent sigh. "Yes, that includes the pervert."

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Sasuke was sitting beneath his usual tree, careful not to mess up his hair as he waited for the rest of team seven to arrive. Idly juggling five kunai with one hand, he allowed himself to sink into his favorite murder fantasy, involving a scrotal press, chakra torture implements, a train and his brother. Ah, bliss…

Just as the fantasy reached the part where he was rearranging Itachi's internal organs by hand, however, he felt multiple people approaching his location. That snapped him out of his very bloody, fairly sick and demented, definitely deviant reverie. Catching his kunai and putting them away, he wondered who could it be. They felt familiar somehow…

A split second before they came in sight, something in his head 'clicked'. Had Sasuke been anyone else, he might have started shaking in terror. As it was, he just broke out in a cold sweat as he swore and jumped straight up to hide in the branches of his tree.

The Sakuras were coming…

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When Naruto came by team seven's meeting place, he found the place crowded with Sakuras. Most of them were sitting around Sasuke's usual tree. One of them was even passed out and snoring. A Sakura in a straight jacket- the pervert, Naruto assumed- had been gagged and tied to the tree. One of them seemed to be lounging under the tree, her pose reminding Naruto of the pictures of bored, rich, fast women on some of the covers of Kakashi's… reading material. Two of them were just sitting around, relaxing and looking a lot like the Sakura he remembered. A sixth seemed to be reading one of their old textbooks while idly tossing a kunai up in the air and catching it by the blade.

The last Sakura was standing a little apart from the others, practicing taijutsu forms. The Sakura Naruto remembered was no taijutsu master, and neither was this one, but she was making up for it with sheer speed and ferocity. He found the wide grin on her face very disturbing, however. She seemed to be enjoying it a little too much.

"Ohayo, uh, minna-san," Naruto greeted, walking to them.

"Ohayo, Naruto-kun," some of them answered. The pervert was gagged, the one asleep kept on sleeping, the one practicing taijutsu just nodded, not breaking stride, and the one reading just ignored him completely.

Sitting down next to the Sakuras, Naruto wondered how long it would be before Kakashi showed up. And where the heck was Sasuke?

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At around a quarter past nine, Kakashi finally showed up, appearing in a puff of smoke.

"Enjoyed you long, soapy shower, Kakashi-sensei?" a Sakura asked, not looking up from her textbook.

Everyone turned to stare at her. The one doing taijutsu stopped. The pervert looked at her appraisingly. The lazy one, however, slept on.

The reader, noticing the silence, finally looked up. Seeing everyone looking at her, she rolled her eyes. "Oh, come on people! It's not like we're all innocents here!"

The one who was lounging chuckled huskily. "That's true."

The other Sakuras blushed at that.

Kakashi cleared his throat to break the embarrassed silence and try to change the subject. "Where's Sasuke-kun? It's not like him to be late."

"Unlike you," the one who had been doing taijutsu muttered.

The one reading the textbook, however, threw the kunai she had been playing with straight up and into the tree. There was the sound of a bitten-off curse, and Sasuke jumped down, holding the kunai. Wordlessly, he handed it back to the Sakura, who took it, just as expressionless.

"Alright then," Kakashi cleared his throat again, making a mental note to have his throat seen to. This cough was really starting to bug him. "We don't have any missions today. The higher-ups want us to get acquainted with our new teammates first."

"New teammates?" Naruto repeated.

"He means us," the Sakura with the textbook said.

Kakashi nodded. "To that effect, the ten of us will be playing a little game."

"Game?" Naruto said. Very little happens behind those pretty blue eyes.

The others, however, stiffened.

One of the Sakuras who were just sitting around said, "Kakashi-sensei, I hope you don't mean what I think you mean…"

They got the impression Kakashi smiled behind his mask. "Truth or dare?"

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"…Neji-kun, TenTen-chan, Gai-sensei, Hinata-chan, Ino-chan,-" the pervert rattled.

"STOP!" yelled Naruto. "We get the picture!"

The pervert kept talking. "-Kurenai-sensei, Asuma-sensei-"

The observant one put the gag back on the perve's mouth. She gave Kakashi a level stare that somehow seemed to glare. "You just had to ask her who else she'd like to grope, didn't you."

The scarecrow shrugged sheepishly, the lecherous grin on his face visible through his mask. "I was curious."

The violent one rolled her eyes. "Men," she muttered. "Your turn Naruto-kun."

They had been playing a modified version of "Truth or Dare". Kakashi, Naruto and Sasuke asked the Sakuras "Truth or Dare", the girls made their choice, and either did a dare or answered a question.

"One last left," Naruto muttered. "Sakura, truth or dare?"

The Sakura this was directed at thought briefly, and said, "Truth."

Naruto thought, nearly burning out his brain cells. "Um, why didn't you ask Sasuke out yesterday?"

Everyone blinked and leaned closer, curious. That was actually a very good question.

The Sakura sweatdropped. "I just didn't feel like it," she said.

Jaws dropped. "Why!" was the near collective reply- Sasuke was pretending he didn't care and the pervert was gagged again.

The Sakura shuffled uncomfortably. "I just didn't find him attractive any more. I don't know why."

"I know why," the observant one said. All the others turned to her.

"Why!" they all asked. The observant one looked at the one who had been 'truth or dare'-d.

"Are you sure you want me to say?" the observant one said. "I mean, you don't know yourself. Do you want to find out with everyone else?"

The one asked nodded. "I need to know."

The observant one shrugged in a 'okay, you asked for it' fashion. "You're a lesbian."

Dead silence. "What!" nearly everyone chorused. Even Sasuke had lost his cool.

The one that 'needed to know', however, was blushing like crazy. "Oh kami..." she muttered, letting her face fall into her hands.

The observant one's expression didn't change, but her eyes seemed to smile, dancing with mirth. "I'm right, aren't I?"

The one holding her face nodded.

Kakashi laughed. "And so dies the myth that all women are attracted to Sasuke."

The other Sakuras eyes widened, and some of them leaned away. The one who liked to lounge around, however, leaned closer, an appraising smile on her face, and the pervert started trying to talk around her gag.

The violent one sighed in annoyance and elbowed the pervert in the gut. The pervert wheezed, but kept on trying to talk.

Naruto looked at each of the Sakuras and sighed. "You know, you girls need names. That way, we can at least try to tell you guys apart."

The violent one smirked. "If we're getting new names, then hers' is Yuri," she said, indicating the lesbian.

"Hey!" the newly appointed Yuri said.

"Dibs on Sakura," the one who liked to lounge around said.

"Hey!" the others all said, indignant.

"She's Sakura," the observant one said, pointing to the one she had talked to that morning.

"Say's who!" the violent one said.

"Says our memories," was the reply.

The violent one opened her mouth, shut it, and opened her mouth again.

"Oh, quit being such a pain!" the lazy one said, annoyed she was being kept awake.

The violent one closed her mouth, a thoughtful expression on her face. "Pain," she muttered, then revised it, smiling. "Paine. That's my name now. From now on, my name is Haruno Paine!"

Everyone blinked.

"Interesting," the observant one muttered.

"So we have Paine, Yuri and Sakura," Kakashi said, nodding to himself. "What else?"

The pervert tried to talk around her gag again. Paine yanked off the gag.

"Alele," she said. At the blank looks she got, she rolled her eyes. "Alele, that kid from 'El-Hazard'? The perverted princess' lover?"

"She wants to be named after a pervert," the observant one muttered. "What a shock."

Paine stuffed the gag back in Alele's mouth, much to Alele's indignation.

"How about you guys?" Paine asked the as-yet-unrenamed ones.

The lazy one shrugged. "Whatever."

"Oh, come on!" Naruto said, getting in her face with his usual ball-of-energy-ness. "Pick a name! How else will we tell you apart?"

The unrenamed-Sakura crossed her arms. "Too much effort to think of a name."

"Sounds like Shikamaru," one of the other unrenamed ones said with a laugh. "How about we call her Shika?"

'Shika' shrugged. "Whatever."

"As for myself," the other continued, "I choose Himeko."

Eyebrows lifted at that.

"Princess?" Sasuke said sarcastically.

"Yes Sasuke-kun?" 'Himeko' said, casting one of her smoldering smiles in his direction.

Uncharacteristically, the Uchiha heir felt himself blush, and turned away lest anyone notice the break in his coolness. One did, however.

"Okay, your turn," Paine told the one who had noticed. "And your name will be…?"

She thought about it. "Megumi," she said simply. For some reason, it felt right…

"So we have Paine, Yuri-" at this, 'Yuri' winced, but said nothing, "-Sakura, Alele, Shika, Himeko, and Megumi."

Receiving no violent reactions, Kakashi nodded. "All right, I'll have your names added to the lists of genin. I guess that's all for today, so you're all dismissed."

Kakashi made a few seals, but before he could complete the teleportation jutsu, Megumi spoke up. "Will the six of us be dispersed to other teams?"

Kakashi hesitated. "I don't know," he said, and disappeared.

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Paine wandered the streets of Konoha until she came to the store she was looking for. They had all dispersed after Kakashi's dismissal.

Checking her wallet and thankful that the money they had been carrying had also been divided along with them, she entered the weapon shop for some new gear. Heavy-duty new gear…

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Himeko wandered the streets of Konoha until she came to the store she was looking for. Checking her wallet, she entered the boutique and headed towards the new clothes. Enough of this 'pure maiden' junk, she needed something that would make Sasuke's eyes pop and his blood boil!

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Yuri went back home, thinking about the implications of Megumi's words. "You're a lesbian."

Unbidden, memories of the sexy nurses came to mind.

Ah well, she thought, I've gotta be me!

With that, she proceeded to enjoy the memory.

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Sakura went straight to the supermarket. If all of them were going to live in one house, they would need a lot more of everything. Still, she felt like she was forgetting something…

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Megumi pondered Kakashi's answer to her question, as she walked to the library. None of the others seemed concerned about what he had said.

Browsing the shelves full of books and scrolls, she made her selection and sat down to read, ignoring the nagging feeling she had forgotten something…

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Shika slept, finally doing what she liked to do best. She'd had to move away from Alele, who'd been screaming her head off, but it was worth it.

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"HEY!" Alele yelled, struggling with her straight jacket as she tried vainly to get loose. The gag she had managed to spit out lay on the ground. "A LITTLE HELP HERE!"

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"Should we find a subtle means of reminding them about Alele?" Toltiir asked.

The cosmic jokers all thought. "Nah!"

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- To be continued...

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A/N: I made the Sakura's Italian pasta fanatics. So sue me, it's my fic.

sees the lawyers coming for him

Wait! I didn't mean it! AAAHHHHH! Happy thoughts happy thoughts happy thoughts EXPECTO PATRONUM!

lawyers run away in fear from the Patronus' positive energy

(Where did you think dementors come from, anyway? What else in the world is soulless and heartless enough?)

'Truth or Dare' as the great ninja icebreaker game. Weird, no?

Well, that's the point of this exercise, silly!

To summarize, here are the names in the order they named themselves:

1)Yuri: lesbian Sakura (gush). 'Nuff said.

2)Sakura: original. Again, 'nuff said.

3)Paine: violent, Buttercup-y ultra-marine. It seemed appropriate.

4)Alele: the pervert. Like she said, named after that perverted girl from El-Hazard.

5)Shika: the lazy one. She's a lot like some of the Shikamarus I've read about, so it seemed to fit.

6)Himeko: the sexy one. This one was trickier. Basically, I was going for a name that sounded elegant, yet sexy (duh). I hope this fits.

7)Megumi: the genius. I seemed to have forgotten to put in 'observant' in her bio last chap. My bad. Anyway, I'm naming her after Kurogane Megumi from 'GateKeepers', since her current level of characterization has her acting a lot like Kurogane.

I'm assuming that Konoha has an RPG-esque method of supplying weapons: there are stores where people buy them, and probably custom-stores were you can have special ones made.

If you want a chrono, until further notice, this takes place before the chuunin exams. Easier that way. I'm not sure what happens to Sasuke afterwards, so I'm probably redoing the exam on my terms.

Sorry it took so long. I promised Daniel I'd make regular updates. I didn't say it would be with new chapters. If you'll notice, I updated the other two chapters and removed most of my grammatical mistakes.

I'm thinking of making more 'Shichinin no (fill in girl or boys' name here): Seven of Seven' fanfics. What do you think of these concepts:

Shichinin no Card Captor Sakura: Seven of Seven

"Seven Sakuras, each with their own set of Sakura cards with their respective personalities types (will be set after second movie), six of them potential weirdo's, loose in CLAMP land. Is Tomoyo really a lesbian?" Toltiir spieled. What is it with this guy and lesbians?

Shichinin no Fuu: Magic Knight Seven

"How is Debonaire going to take getting hammered by NINE Magic Knights, six of them potentially sicker than Nova?" said Xellos. "Sounds like fun!"

Shichinin no Robin: Seven of Seven

"How is Batman and the Teen Titans going to take having multiple, potentially insane Boy Wonders? What will happen to the Gotham underworld? Or to the superheroes minds, for that matter!" Death read off the teleprompter. "This just screams 'one of Delirium's crazy ideas'." she muttered.

Shichinin no Harry: Seven of Seven

"Harry Potter gets the pendant! Which one does Voldemort have to kill to fulfill the prophecy! Is it Hermione's turn to realize Harry's a guy? How will they resolve the Cho Chang situation? Will Draco Malfoy survive the year? Will Snape? And where did I leave my medication!" Shadow yelled. "Too many chocolate frogs. I really have to stop writing during my choco-highs."

Please review, C&C welcome. Even flames are welcome, that means someone is reading this thing.

Until next time, this is Shadow, signing off.

Trivia: for once, I actually started this one on the computer.

(Still alone and pathetic, though. sob)