Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter no matter how much money I offered. This is actually based off a movie called 'one of the guys' and a boy meets world episode that is called 'chick like me.'
Summary: (AU) Hermione and Harry go under cover as the opposite sex for journalism without knowing who the other is. As they do the project they begin to develop feelings for each other that confuse and frighten them while their friends around them are also in a mess of feelings.
A/N: This is chapter one redone and digitally enhanced.
One of The Guys
The Article (edit 2/2/09)
"Hermione!" Ginny called to the bushy-haired brunette.
Hermione raised her head from her book and saw her friend walking towards her from the other side of the great hall. She moaned in slight dread. She could predict the conversation about to begin in a few minutes. Ginny was her best friend and only a year younger than her putting them one grade apart, but Ginny had random moments of girlishness that Hermione often felt she was dealing with a hormonal third year rather than a capable 6th year.
"How was the homecoming dance?" Ginny sat down in front of her.
Any public event where girls can wear dresses and dance to muggle hip-hop-disco-pop-whatever music quickly sent the redhead into a fit of peppy slutty-ness that could rival either Patil sister…not that Hermione was calling Ginny a slut. She wasn't. Ginny was clean wholesome fun. Really.
"Don't look at me like that," Ginny snapped irritably as she grabbed a bagel. "You know I like to dance." With boys. Lots and lots of boys. The unspoken words brought a smile to Hermione's lips. She often reminisced about different she and Ginny were. Ginny loved boys first, Hermione loved books.
"Well…" She said slowly, "I assume the dance was like any other homecoming, not that I would know. I've never been to a Hogwarts' dance." Well, not true. She did go to the Yule ball with Victor Krum when she was fourteen, but that dance was a whole other ball park.
The homecoming dance, on the other hand, was an annual event thrown just for seventh year Hogwarts students. Of course younger years could attend if they had a seventh year date, but Ginny's older brother had scared off all potential suitors.
"Did you have fun?" Ginny asked. She recognized Hermione's words as a verbal sidestep to the true answer.
"Hmmm," Hermione sighed. "I guess, I mean, what should I have expected? Terry had all of his friends there, so…." Hermione really liked her books first. They could feed her passion and knowledge at the same time where as with boys, she suddenly felt a disconnection. But Terry—Terry Boot, a Ravenclaw Prefect who she had met in the library had seemed just like her. She had met him when they both reached for the special edition of Hogwarts, A History. She felt the spark and the rest was history. She giggled at her pun while Ginny sent her a strange look.
"That can't be so bad," Ginny said, "You're smiling…unless—You didn't break up with him, did you?" Ginny asked her eyes big. Hermione quickly shook her head.
"Good, because that would be bad!" Ginny squealed. "He's like the male version of you. Studious, serious knowledge-aholic, and...All that over-achiever stuff."
"No, even I'm that stupid when it comes to dating!" she cried. "I was only able to squeeze one dance in before I lost him to his friends." She shook her head sadly, "But, it's ok, I guess. I'm not really into dancing or all those girly activities. I left early, anyway, to write up my article. I had to get it done. Today's the first edition, a look at summer and homecoming activities…" She stopped talking as she caught Ginny turning her head away, "What is it?"
"Nothing," Ginny mumbled.
"What is it, Ginny?" Hermione asked seriously. "Why did you do that suspicious movement?"
"I knew I shouldn't have bought you that book on body language," Ginny joked.
"Ginny," Hermione demanded, "Just tell me. You'll feel better afterwards, I promise."
"Fine," She sighed, "The newspaper, It's new and all so don't be upset." Ginny paused at Hermione's perplexed expression, "No one's interested in it."
"What?" Hermione gaped, "How could no one want to catch up on current events in the world?" Ginny only shrugged.
"I've just heard kids talking about it…" She shrugged. "It hasn't been good. I'm sorry."
Hermione stood up suddenly and rushed out of the Great Hall. Ginny followed.
Their sudden departure caused many heads to turn. Hermione ran out of the hall and turned to the wall on the left. She didn't know what she expected but three stacks of neatly pressed newspapers still tied up was not it. She stared, not a single paper had been taken.
Ginny came out a few moments later, she walked so she was behind Hermione. They were both silent.
"Hermione I'm sorry," Ginny said.
"I just don't get it," Hermione mumbled.
There were footsteps behind the two that rushed hastily towards them. The two turned around to see Ron Weasley, Ginny's older brother run over to them. He didn't even acknowledge either girl as he pulled out his wand. He cut the bindings around the first stack of papers. Hermione felt her heart rise. 'Finally,' she thought, 'someone wants to read it.' He grabbed about half the stack.
"Ron?" Ginny asked inquisitively. She had a bad feeling. Ron barely ever read anything, which include homework assignments, potion ingredient labels, clothes tags, least of all newspapers, so why would he need so many papers.
He turned around and smiled, "Oh, Hey Ginny," he said.
"Why do you need that many?" She asked suspiciously as she eyed the load he carried.
"Oh," Ron looked down at the papers he was holding, "Harry over flooded the bathroom and, we, uh," He blushed, "Can't remember the cleaning spell."
Hermione felt her hopes crushed and anger replace it. She walked over to Ron and grabbed the papers. She glared at him, "Its 'Scourgify'."
Ron looked at her funny. Hermione never got along with him or with him or any of his friends. You would think of all their years spent in the same classes and same house they would have some mutual feelings of camaraderie but no. Ron was just so easily annoyed with her that when she was near some of his friends he would come and drag them away. That was the main reason why Hermione was so lonely. But she did have Ginny and Terry, but now Terry and she were drifting apart. And she had her books and writing, even if no one ever read them.
"Whatever," he mumbled casting a dark look at her before he rushed back to the tower.
"'Whatever'," Ginny said deepening her voice so she sounded more like Ron or a buffoon. But either way it didn't make a difference.
"Let's just go to class," Hermione said.
Ginny and Hermione separated down the hall. Ginny went up the stairs to the second floor to attend her charms class while Hermione rushed all the way to the fifth floor to make it five minutes early to her transfiguration class. Hermione sat in the second row and took out her book, a roll of parchment, black ink, and an eagle feather quill. She also placed her wand on the binding of the book and neatly placed her hands in her lap.
A few minutes later a throng of giggling Hufflepuffs entered the room. They walked past Hermione and took their seats near the window. She watched them idly, smiling when one of them told a joke she found funny.
Not long after, a group of boys, Hermione recognized as Ron and his friends walked into the classroom. They were talking in low whispers with their heads bent close together. As they walked by, Hermione saw Ron slightly nod his head in her direction then mumble something about bossy—know—it—alls.
She felt her face flush and turned her gaze away. They walked past her and took their seats at the back of the room. The last to enter the room was Professor McGonagall herself. She swept into the room and stood by the desk. The class focused their attention on the graying woman as her body stood erect and demanding attention.
"Class," She began, "Today, as my expectations have not changed, I expect you to pay closer attention because the magic we are learning today demands focus, talent, and competence." She looked around the room. "The spell I will teach you is called 'Sunor Ot Celfer'. Now who can tell me what this spell does?" She looked around her classroom, "Anyone?"
Hermione raised her hand slowly. She had read about it in the library when she was researching information on Ramona Ragmuff, A medieval witch who turned her cheating husband into his beard-shaving aunt for a week. She shuddered. The book had shown a painting done of the man when he had been cursed . . . well let's just say she didn't eat a potato skins without thinking of that man.
'Sunor Ot Celfer' actually meant 'Reflector on us' which would be the something similar yet terribly opposite of an object or in Mr. Ragmuff's case, 'terribly opposite' would be his gender.
"Yes, Miss Granger," Prof. McGonagall called, "What does the spell do?"
"It would change you into the opposite gender of yourself," She answered, "Not your personality but just your appearance and sex." She blushed as she finished, while a few people giggled.
"Correct, 5 points to Gryffindor," I will now demonstrate." She pointed her wand at herself and closed her eyes, "Tonma Itahw Tubma Iohw Tonmai."
Her body lit up by a golden essence then died down just as quickly as it appeared. Instead of the severe looking female teacher with long black hair pulled back into a tight bun with sharp eyes there now stood a severe looking male teacher with short black hair and gray frosting.
He opened his mouth and explained, "Tonma Itahw tubma Iohw Tonmai, means I am not who I am but what I am not." His voice was much deeper but still held the do-not-cross-me-because-I-can-take-points-away tone. He pointed the wand at himself and repeated the incantation. At once the same effect happened and their female teacher returned.
"Now, we will practice the incantation, once you all begin that," she spoke now in her normal voice, "You will notice nothing will happen. This spell holds no wand movement but true raw intent. To do it you must clear your mind and focus. Just let the words take over." She looked around the room. "Despite that this spell may seem like wandless magic, the wand is required all the same to perform the spell. Now I want you to practice the annunciation." she repeated the words slowly several times to allow the students to pronounce it correctly and it took the entire class period for less than half the class to say it right.
Hermione exited the classroom and walked quickly to her next lesson, charms. Professor Flitwick was one of her favorite teachers so she immensely enjoyed the lesson. She was partnered with Neville Longbottom as they reviewed several charms. Charms, as a common practice of magic, was one of the largest sections on the N.E.W.T.S and therefore Flitwick began reviews before most other teachers.
Hermione breezed through the class easily. In no time the class was already dismissed and students were pouring down to the Great Hall. Hermione though ran down to her head of house's office. She knocked timidly.
"Come in," McGonagall answered. Hermione entered the room and saw the woman sitting behind her desk with papers scattered around her. She glanced up when Hermione entered. "Good morning, Miss Granger."
"Good morning Professor," Hermione repeated. McGonagall made one last mark on a paper she appeared to be grading before she redirected her attention on Hermione. She shuffled things around her desk and folded her hands.
"Professor," Hermione started, cutting straight to the chase, "Hogwarts Daily isn't selling. I'm just thinking maybe I shouldn't do it anymore. It's just is a waste of time."
She felt bad for giving up, but all her efforts in publishing a newspaper could be focused on studying. If no one wanted to catch up on world topics then who was she to keep publishing?
"Miss Granger, in no time of history has writing a newspaper ever been a waste of time," McGonagall said. She looked at Hermione's eager face. "Maybe you should try spicing it up a little, writing a story that will appear to the teenage nature, a headline article that will hold the interest of the school and fit in the educational articles where you please."
"Teenage nature?" Hermione asked. "I don't think it's in the teenage nature to read."
"Plenty of publications advertise to teenagers," McGonagall said. "Now give it some thought, but I need to finish marking these parchments."
Hermione nodded then left for lunch. She figured Ginny would have some insight on what to do.
Well, that was the retype of Chapter One. I think it nearly doubled in length or maybe I'm exaggerating. REVIEW IF YOU WANT!