AN: Hello readers. Just wanted to say thanks for reading and I hope you enjoy it. To let you know I really don't care if you review this or not. I always hated that some authors would write a story and then demand that they received a certain amount of reviews before they posted another chapter. I have about half this story written but I haven't written any more for a few months now. To be honest I don't know if I will continue it. Most likely I will but I just haven't felt like writing for a while and other plot bunnies have been running around in my head... I think they are multiplying. Next order of business: If you are a flamer know that I don't really give a damn if you don't like it or it's OOC or any of that jazz. GET THIS THROUGH YOUR THICK SKULLS! It's my story, my imagination, my work, if you don't like it don't read it you ponce. Hum, anything else? I don't think so but if there is I will put in another AN for you. Well Good luck and Happy reading
Disclaimer: Really this is so stupid. Do you really think that I am trying to claim any of J.K.'s stuff? Anyway, none of this is mine except the imagination and any events that happen. All monies that are donated for this should go to J.K. herself. Too bad I don't know her address. So in other words keep your money in your pockets.
Chapter 1 The Beginning
Three days is all it took to turn Harry's world upside down. Just three days and Harry was set to have one of the most liberating experiences of his life. All thanks to Sirius. His name still made to squeeze his heart and bring tears to his eyes but now instead of tears of pain and self-loathing they were tears of love, of missing a loved one that had moved on. As Harry looked out the window of the muggle air craft he closed his eyes and to remember how Sirius had freed him.
Three Days Ago:
Harry had no sooner dropped his trunk by his bed than a flash of light lit up the entire house. In Harry's hand was now a package with a very familiar scrawl on it. Sirius handwriting. The Dursley's panicked and screamed bloody murder until Harry finally calmed them down by telling the muggles that it was just a warning from the Order to not mistreat him. That had seemed to work as they immediately cowered into the kitchen for dinner demanding that Harry come along. If he hadn't been so caught in thought by the package a dead man seemed to have sent him he would have found the situation quite humorous. The Dursley's now catered to his every whim. For the first time in his live more food was placed on his plate than Dudley's which caused a small growl and grimace to appear on the now adolescent whale sized blob of fat that occupied an entire side of the dinner table. After a good dinner, Petunia was a pretty good cook he had to admit, Harry trudged up to his room after a polite 'Thank You' and 'Good Night'.
As he returned to his room and the package he had left on his bed his curiosity grew. What could Sirius have sent him. So with out a second thought Harry tore the package open. Inside was only a glass ball that looked remarkably like the ones he used in Divination. That was soon changed as soon as he touched it though.
Memories of what happened since the last time Harry had spoken to Sirius through the fire to the present flooded through his mind's eye.
"So I didn't make it to the summer? Damn!"
It was the voice that Harry had longed to hear again since the left the Department of Mysteries. Sirius' voice. After a few panicked moments the glass ball managed to calm Harry down and proceeded to tell him what was going on. It seemed that Dumbledore was going to keep all owls away from Harry this summer for 'His own protection' so Sirius had used his knowledge and the many books in Grimmauld place and time to set up a truly fascinating summer. The sphere had been imbued with Sirius' spirit much like it is done with paintings but this was a one time only thing. But the thought and memories of the man's life followed and now that he had seen Harry's memories he knew what had happened.
After a very long talk most of Harry's guilt had been lifted. He felt as though he was able to say those final words to bring the entire matter to closure. Harry would still miss his Godfather more than anything else in his life but he was no longer depressed and full on self-loathing. The conversation then turned to what Sirius had planned for then to do together that summer. During the conversation Sirius had asked a very valid question: Who are you? Surprising himself Harry had no answers. The only thing he could think of were the titles he had been given by various factions of the wizarding and muggle community. He had no idea who he himself really was. No since of self identity. It seemed Sirius had come to that conclusion himself many months ago also. So this summer was to be spent finding himself and there was no way of doing that while he was locked in a house he hated, Sirius could identify. Or with guards around you 24/7. It could only be done on ones own. This summer he was going to find his identity, himself.
Not really surprising, Sirius had set the entire thing up already. The sphere would turn into a port-key the following day at 7:00 AM on the dot, transporting him directly to the Manager of Gringotts where he would pick up everything he needed.
They talked through the night cherishing the time together until it had to end. Sirius explained about the different places in the world that he, Moony, Prongs and Lilly had gone to once they left Hogwarts. Another thing that no one seemed to need to tell him was that the four had taken a year and a half to tour the world. They had no need for money, both the Blacks and Potters were rich and were easily able to pick up the tab for any expenses. Harry found it amusing that the two were able to get around Remus' and Lilly's protest by saying that it really wasn't their money to begin with so if they couldn't accept it then neither could James or Sirius and they would have to give the money away. Sufficiently silenced the two protestors quietly accepted and had the time of their lives. Harry found that his parents had been married on top of a mountain in the Alps during sun set. They where so high that the only thing that could be seen below them were clouds that turned nearly every color imaginable as the sun set giving the appearance that their union was sanctioned by the gods. Harry could almost imagine how beautiful it would have been and tears leaked from his eyes as he listening to story after story, learning more about himself, his parents and their friends in those few hours then he ever did in the previous nearly sixteen years he had lived. He also found out most of the places that his parents had gone to when they left. Sirius was especially excited to go to Amsterdam. Harry blushed due to the stories from there but had to admit, as he was a youth in the prime of his hormonal time, that he wouldn't mind spending a few weeks there himself. Harry also learned Sirius did nothing by halves. Harry was set. With one visit to Gringotts he would have everything he would need. Sirius had set up five different alias for Harry to use. He transferred all his money and the money in the Black vault to another that only Harry and the Goblins would know about with specific instruction that no other wizard or witch was allowed to hold any control of the vault other than either Sirius or Harry. He had set up a credit card system that would work in both the magical and muggle worlds so he wouldn't have to carry a large sum of money with him at all times. Finally he set up with an airline to fly to anywhere in the world that Harry would like to go.
As the departure time drew close Harry said his final good-byes to his beloved Godfather. As 7:00 rolled around the ball stopped talking and glowed blue for a second. He reached out, touched the ball, felt the tug behind his navel and found himself inside Gringotts. A forlorn and teary eyed young man signed what he needed and accepted a small hiking pack with a tent strapped on the top as well as a trunk from the goblin. Then he was returned to his room by goblin port-key with everything he would need for his next adventure.
After rummaging though the pack he found that he now had a cell phone, tons of new cloth both wizard and muggle as well as your basic camping gear for if he stayed near other muggles, as well as a last letter from Sirius. Most of what it had to say was said last night but the best was that Sirius had thought of something Harry never would have: The way to make an 'untraceable' potion, in only two hours. Included were all the ingredients he would need to create the potion for himself for a year as it had to be taken once every thirty days. It was the only way to get around the under age restriction at the Ministry but it also had the added benefit as that it would nullify any form a tracking on the individual no matter what means. He could get hit with a tracking charm, scried, divined, even muggle tracking devices. All would be voided by the potion. The only thing that Sirius asked was that he leave a parting gift for the Dursleys as he left, which Harry was only too happy to comply with. After all, it was his Godfather's last request. Much like his 'pilgrimage', as he had now come to call his trip, it was the last requests of a man that was more important than any stupid war. The war could wait. The Order could wait. For once in his life every one else could wait. They would all be here once he got back, now was his time and it was long over due.
After changing into some of his new cloths and piling Dudley's old ones in the corner Harry went about brewing the potion. It had to simmer an hour so he went back to his trunk. There he found a thin tube with some sort of fabric inside. After closer inspection he was fairly certain it was a wizarding tent. He was right. It wasn't too special. A kitchen with ever stocking shelves and icebox, a nice common room area, a small library with what looked like most of the books from Grimmauld place. 'He probably told them that he was throwing out all the dark books' Harry thought to himself. Next there were two bed rooms both with a nice tub and shower. Nothing fancy but perfect for what he wanted.
The hour was nearly up for the potion to simmer so Harry made his way back out of the tent. The potion was perfect. Harry again wondered at his potions abilities when he didn't have an over grown bat hovering over him insulting him every step of the way. He took it off the burner an let it cool for a few minutes. The cauldron made all twelve doses so he filled twelve different vials with the neon orange potion. Then with a deep breath he grabbed one and downed it like a shot of whisky. He was pleasantly surprised, it actually tasted semi alright. It definitely wouldn't be his preferred drink of choice but he could definitely live with taking it again. He noticed a tingling sensation go through him and with a small –fzzt- it was over. Nervous but trusting Sirius with his life Harry summoned a book from the far side of the room. A tense hour later Harry decided that the potion worked. No Ministry owls arrived.
He then pulled out his cell phone and looked in the phone book. It only had three numbers in it. One was to a friend Sirius said to call if he ever got in trouble. It was a last resort. The next was Hermione's number. The last was of the airline company. That reminded him that he still needed to call them about getting a flight tomorrow. The note he found in his pack also came with another port-key directly to a bathroom stall in the airline. Sirius said that it would be traceable so he needed to get a flight near the time that he was to board, which was again 7:00. After calling the only flights out at that time where either to Cairo, Egypt or to Sydney, Australia. After a flip of a coin Australia it was set to leave at 7:15.
After setting up all his plans he finally looked into the trunk. It was much like Moody's seven compartment trunk but it had eight key holes it was inlaid with the still forms of a large back dog, a silver were-wolf, and a golden stag and lily. The forms were supper imposed in front of the almost life like pictures of the four in the prime of youth probably taken on their adventure after Hogwarts. It took up the entire top of the trunk and was set by ornate platinum trim. Only one word came to mind: Beautiful. He took a brief stroll through the many compartments. One was a small living quarters with kitchen and bathroom. Four of the compartments were just enlarged spaces for cloths and what not. One chamber was set up for dueling practice and weight training with muggle strength training devises. The one chamber was just a stone room. The final chamber was a magnificent site. It was a duplicate of the grounds around Hogwarts. Green and lush grass was under foot and he could even see the castle in the distance. The sun was shining bright and a warm breeze blew through the air. That compartment would have to be looked into further.
After packing all his cloths in his trunk, muggle clothing in one compartment wizarding in another. He put his potions ingredients away. He looked at the eleven remaining vials of potion. He would only need two more doses at the most unless he planned on staying away longer. If he did then he could make more. He had the instruction and the ingredients. Any wizarding apothecary would carry the needed items. With that in mind he quickly stoppered them leaving out ten and putting the last one in the special rack that would never let a potion spill then placed all his potions equipment in a compartment then all his books, broom and everything else in the last empty compartment. He quickly shrunk the trunk and placed it in one of the pockets of his pack that now only held a few days worth of muggle clothing, a few books and his camping equipment. Another flick o his wand and an uttered incantation from the tent's instructions and it was neatly pack in it's small cylinder tube. Harry tied it off to the top of the pack and he was ready to go in the morning.
After a quick and filling dinner Harry retired to his room with only a few more things to do that day. It was starting to get late. It would be dark soon and with that Harry set to writing letters to the Ministry group as he now dubbed his most trusted friends that looked death in the face together and fought through it and lived to defy Voldemort. He still shivered every time he thought about what could have happened that night. Sirius stopped his self-hatred for what he had done to his friends by bring them there. Instead he helped he see that Harry had told them not to come but they insisted anyway. If it hadn't been for the DA and Harry's secret training they would all be dead or maybe even worse. So even though it was a bad situation they found themselves in, it was thanks to Harry that they had lived to survive it. Inside the letters he expressed his most heartfelt thanks and gratitude. Explained about the potion that he included in the letter. Then told them that he was going to take a much needed, identity finding, vacation and that he didn't know when he would be back. He did tell them he would keep in touch so that they wouldn't worry too much about him. Ginny's letter held a little more. He told her how much of a prat he had been for not seeing the real person she is and how wonderful she was. Hermione and Ron's letters held even more. Two pages worth of how important the two were to him and how he needed to do this to find himself. He told them of his love he had for both of them. He wrote, 'Sirius once told me that he chose my Dad to be his brother and that there was no stronger bond other than marriage. Well I chose for you to be by sister/brother. Though I might not be by you physically, I will always remain in your heart as long as you will have me. As you will always remain in mine. And with any luck I will leave during Snivellus' shift and piss him off. Wish me luck!'
In all the notes he asked that they not tell Dumbledore or the Order that he had left or show them the notes until they have found out he was missing. After a long talk with Hedwig they both decided that it would be better for her to stay with Hermione. The young witch would be able to take care of her and have a way to keep in contact with any others from the magical community. Then at the end he listed what the potion did and to make sure to keep it a secret and to practice hard. Five envelopes and some tears later the notes were ready to be sent out in the morning.
It was late now, getting on past eleven. The Dursleys had retired to bed nearly an hour ago. It was hard not to notice the shaking of the house from Dudley and Vernon. So with one last smirk befitting a Slytherin, Harry grabbed all the WWW merchandise that he had never used over the years that the twins had given him, which was a lot. Half past midnight he was done booby trapping the house. He wished he could stay and see the results. He had charmed all the pots and pans to talk when they were put on the burners. The chairs to literally groan and complain with Vernon or Dudders sat on them. The walls he turned to the most amazing colors that could be found on the color pallet, then charmed so that no paint could cover it for a year. Then he went about placing wheezes all over the house. Harry removed all the candy from Dudley's secret stash and replaced them with an assortment of items. He put itching power in the 'Goldbond' that Dudley and Vernon had to use constantly. Then put ever changing potion into the hair ointment as well as the shampoo and conditioner bottles. According to the information Gred and Forge sent it was guaranteed to last for a week no matter what was done to cover it up. It would cycle through pink, purple, neon yellow, neon orange, silver, gold then finally aqua marine before it finally wore off. Harry left out anything that he thought would seriously injure them so he kept out the 'Ton Tongue Toffees'. The best was Medusa's finest that he put in Petunia's shampoo and conditioner. Harry silently chuckled. This would be too good to pass up. Looking through all his books, he finally found a recording charm. Well actually it was like a real time camera that would follow people around. Surprisingly, or maybe not, it was in a book that Padfoot, Moony & Prongs put together. Harry didn't even want to think about what that charm might have been used for. So finally he snuck into the rooms and placed the charms. He didn't know how it was really going to work but at least he would be able to see his creative genius at work.
Harry found it difficult to sleep that night. But this time it wasn't from bad dreams but anticipation. Everything was set up perfectly. At 6:58 Harry had his shrunken pack in his pocket, wand in a holster he made on his wrist and tying the letters he had made the previous night to Hedwig's leg. With a last remorseful look to each other and a 'good bye for now' Harry sent his first friend out the window for only the gods know how long until they met again. One last sorrowful look out the window then he glanced around. As luck seemed to be on his side this day he could see Snape in all his greasy glory lounging behind a hidden hedge. He looked up and glared at the boy and sneered. Harry only smirked back and very childishly flicked off the esteemed potions master and yelled, "Hey Snivellus, go take a fucking shower for once in your bloody life. Your hair is already dripping grease." At the murderous look Harry only laughed a great laugh before throwing the window shut. He stepped back out of view just as the port-key activated.
The next thing Harry knew he was in an airport terminal. He went to the desk and check in under his assumed name, got his ticket and made his way to his gate. He arrived at his gate just as they called all first class passengers to board. Harry already deemed that since he had more than enough money and this was a vacation he would splurge. As he handed his ticket to the attendant, who seemed to be appreciating what she saw, she asked if he was a member of the Airline's flying club. He took the information to sign up then made his way onboard but not before giving a very uncharacteristic wink and sly smile to the good looking, twenty something, flight attendant. Harry decided to sign up for the Platinum Fliers Package. It would cost him 500 pounds but the benefits seemed to be in his favor if he was going to make it a habit of flying all over the world. He would have free drinks, free upgrade to First Class, exclusive lounge privileges, as well as many other niceties that would make his muggle traveling much more relaxing. After another five minutes the plane taxied to the runway and Harry had escaped. He put on his head phones and was about to turn on a CD when an images popped into his head. One of each of the Dursleys.
It seemed that the charm was set to start once they woke up. Petunia's was the first. Sleepily she went about her morning routine and Harry found a down side to plan… Petunia in the shower. He had only one word, 'UUHHH!'. Cringing, he was forced to watch but silently cheered as she used her shampoo. Nothing happened right away. The twins were too smart for that. It would take an hour to start the effects on almost all the bathroom charms so as the person didn't know what had done it. She then set to the rest of the day. Vernon woke up then and the screen in his mind split in two. Vernon was disgusting to say the least. Harry was tempted to pull out the book and find a way to undo the charm, but luckily he seemed to be in a hurry. Quickly he finished and dressed for the day. Half way through Petunia screamed. She had started breakfast and the skillet she used was jumping and cursing at her about its bottom being on fire. It seemed the charm gave a little personality as well. Petunia screamed some more which brought a half dressed Vernon tumbling down the steps after he tripped on his pants that were only half way up. The ruckus seemed to awaken Dudley from a particularly 'nice' dream as he pulled down his pants and started fondling himself mumbling about a girl Harry knew he had no chance in hell with. Choosing not to watch Dudders make a man out of himself, Harry watched his Aunt and Uncle. They had just noticed the new color scheme. Vernon bellowed a howl of rage screaming that he would kill 'that GOOD FOR NOTHING FREAK'. It was all too much and Harry found himself in the mist of hysterical laughter. Luckily there was only one other person in his section and she was asleep. However a worried attendant saw fit to ask if he was alright. Harry nodded saying that he had just bought a new comedy CD called 'Blue Collar Comedy Tour' and it was just too funny. After an understanding nod and smile, along with a smooth run of her hand down his arm and a wink, she left to tell that everything was alright. During all the commotion Vernon had run upstairs banging on 'The Freak's' door. Petunia saw fit to protect her Dudders from the big bad wizard. The scream that issued from her mouth as she watched her son fondle himself set the whale off and he sprayed himself. Dudley eyes shot open to look directly into his mother's and with a scream of terror tried to quickly pull up the slacks he had pass out in the previous night after getting drunk with his gang. He must have forgotten about his arousal as he yanked the zipper up only to catch himself and let out another yell of pure pain and terror. All the yelling brought Snape into the house via the back door and the plant deemed it necessary to trap the wizard and start to feel him up. He was trapped with no way out and the only thing he could do was try to reach the Order communicator that hung around his neck. However the plant was not about to let him go that easily. Vernon continued to bellow and try to pound down the door. It now seemed fitting that Harry had cast all those locking and sealing charms. Vernon finally had enough and went to ram the door down only to slam in to what might as well been a brick wall. He fell to the ground causing the foundation of the house to shake as he screamed about his now broken arm. Petunia wasn't doing much better. After the initial shock of seeing her son cream himself, she rushed over to help her baby. It was probably the most demented and funny thing Harry had ever seen in his life. There was a still aroused Dudley trying vainly to remove himself from his zipper and his mother on her knees in front of him trying desperately to help him not aware of proximity to her son. That was until a violent jerk of his zipper released him and he managed to stick his still cream covered self into his mother's mouth. Dudley stopped dead in his tracks totally forgetting it was his mother as he grabbed her head and pushed her down. Petunia's scream must have pushed the whale over again as he released inside his mother's mouth. Brought back to his senses, Dudley paled as he looked down at his mother then ran off to the bathroom. Petunia vomited all over the floor. It was then that the hair charms started working. It being too much for the lady, Petunia fainted. Vernon only seeing his son leave the room and then his wife faint as her hair turned into snakes bellowed again like a wounded rhino and set about the task of reviving his wife. It turned out to be a very disgusting, albeit extremely funny show of pay back for his treatment over the years. Soon after the Order arrived after Vernon dragged his wife back to the kitchen to see one surly potion master trapped and being felt up by his wife's prize rose bush. Being pushed over the edge he grabbed the still hot and screaming frying pan and proceeded to beat the grease off the fore mentioned wizard. 'Poetic justice' Harry mused. The beating was enough to damage the plant for the wizard to reach his panic button and almost instantly the entire Order of the Phoenix arrived to see a very pissed off professor trapped and being fondled by a plant while being beaten by a half naked man only able to use one side of his body with a screaming frying pan in a kitchen so brightly painted it hurt most people's eyes and a passed out woman laying on the floor with snakes for hair. It was then that Vernon's hair turned the most magnificent shade of pink anyone had ever seen. Remus, Fred and George fell to the floor laughing at the site in front of them. Each knowing that Harry had gotten his revenge. It took a stunning spell to stop Vernon from killing the trapped professor. Petunia woke then, noticing all the 'Freaks' in her house she started yelling about how it was all her freak sister's freak son had done all this. By this time Tonks joined in the laughing openly. As a matter of fact the only ones that didn't find it amusing were Dumbledore and McGonnegal. They reverted as much as they could in the kitchen. The walls stayed the same. Even Mooney and the twins couldn't change it back, or maybe they just didn't want to. The frying pan was fixed and the now beaten down plant was counter charmed and the muggle's hair was returned to normal. The group made it's way upstairs, mostly still laughing at the marvelous job Harry had done. They reversed what they could along the way and had just made it up the stairs as Dudley came from his room with a piece of candy that half the Order knew not to even touch. Before any of them could utter a word, a Dudley size canary stood where a whale use to be. Most of the group descended into laughter again. The second floor had been reasonably untouched and with most not knowing what had happened to change the Dursley's hair they didn't know what to check. Only the twins were even knew about the products as they hadn't gone out to market yet and they were both laughing far to much to be able to speak at the time.
After the molting of Dudley were he and his mother couldn't even look at each other, order seemed to be restored. Vernon was still out of it so Harry only had two screens to view and it they were looking at the same thing: Harry's door. After trying to unlock it Snape wanting to get back at the 'brat' sent a strong bludgeoning spell at the door intent to break it down. However the spell rebounded and struck the potions master breaking most of the bones in his right arm and shoulder. Dumbledore said something about it not being right that there was a spell seeing as Harry couldn't use magic yet and tried to get through the locking charms. To Harry's great surprise he couldn't. It ended up taking the great bumblebee himself along with Mad-eye and Moony to open the door only to be greeted by a piece of parchment hanging from a string and an empty room with an empty trunk in it. A pile of ash was in one corner from the remains of what use to be Dudley's cloths. It was obvious to all that Harry was gone.
After a quick meeting in Harry's old room, Snape told every one about Harry being there during his shift and seeing him in the window. Confused as to what could be going on Dumbledore opened the letter. Another great charm Harry had learned was how to create a howler. Well this letter was much like that as it spoke to the room at large, unable to be turned off with out using some pretty dark magic. Not knowing this the old man opened the letter only to have it fly into the air forming a mouth and start speaking.Greetings Order
I only really wanted to say that HA, Dumbledore you can kiss my ass old man. You thought you could trap me here. No owls from my friends. No knowledge as to what was going on in my world. Well reap the rewards you old coot. As you are reading this, well not really reading but you get the picture, I am long gone.
I guess I have to thank you for driving Sirius insane by trapping him in that horrid house. It gave him a lot of time to create some wonderful little devises and make some very big plans. Yes you can thank good old Padfoot for springing me. He would be with me but we all know what happened. We had a nice long chat about it the night before last and came to an understanding. So Moony, you don't have to worry about me on that account. I want you to look out for yourself and be here when I get back. Yes I'm coming back. When I don't really know. I'm going to find my identity. I came to the conclusion that I don't know who I really am. Yea Moony, I got the whole scoop about your trip with my Parents and Sirius after you left Hogwarts. But why did you never see fit to tell me about their wedding. It would seem like such a great story and I had to hear it from my dead Godfather.
Remus only had a small, nostalgic smile on his face and a tear trailing down his eye.
Any way, I don't blame you Moony. I want to make sure you know since I never told Sirius while he was alive but I love you. You're my pseudo uncle of sorts. Never forget that.
Gred, Forge, I want to let you know that your stuff is totally AWSOME. I only wish I could have stayed and watched the action. You will have to get me pensive memory when I get back. You both have my endorsement any time you want to use it. You two are like brothers to me, so take care and raise hell 'till I get back.
Mrs. And Mr. Weasley, don't worry too much about me. I know you will and there is no chance that you wouldn't. Just know that I won't take any – alright many unnecessary risks if I can help it. After all what's the fun in trying to find one's self if you don't take risks. We aren't kids any more. Ginny, Ron, Hermione and I haven't been for a very long time. We've all been fighting Voldemort – I want you to know that I jinxed to room to so that any one who flinches again will be in for a rude awakening – like I was saying, Voldemort…Half the room was now wearing pink lace women's underwear
… see I wouldn't lie to you. Hey Tonks, lookin' good.
The metamorph. Blushed so badly that her hair turned red.
Like that one Moony? I hope you realize I got that one from Padfoot when he told me about what you did to the Slytherins in your sixth year. So I know you know how to remove it. Let this be a lesson. The next time one of you flinches at that name you might be revealing more than you want to. Just some incentive!
Remus went around taking off the jinks as many mummered how they were going to kill the boy after he got back.
Alright let's get back on topic here. We've been fighting the Dark Tosser since each of us were eleven thanks to your all mighty leader who you all seem to take his decisions a right. You do realize that in all my five years at Hogwarts there has never been a time when I was safe. Oh let me count the ways.
1. Quirell, a possessed host used by spirit Dark Tosser himself.
2. Lockheart, idiot to the 'n'th degree tried to brain zap Ron and I. Who the hell knows what he removed from people's head while he was there. I can only pray that he had no females in his office that he liked.
3. Ginny, though not her fault, I blame Snivellus for this one also, he knew the Malfoys. He's good friends as well as murdering buddies with the blond male hoe. He could have known what was going on from the off. As it was four people nearly got killed, two of which are very dear to me and I had to fight off a rather large snake.
4. Third year, Sirius managed to get IN the dorm room at a time we thought he was trying to kill me. All the while having a real killer laying in our room for three years.
5. Oh that was a great one, you managed to let a deatheater parade as a teacher for an entire year when he had to drink a potion every hour to stay that way. Then I had to duel Voldemort himself. Let's not forget this was after he killed Cedric.
6. Fifth year, I'm not even going to go into that. I do want you all to know that that Umbitch tried to cast the Cruciatus on me, had me write with a quill that etched the line 'I must not tell lies' into my flesh as I wrote during my hours of unjust detentions that you all knew she was giving me unfairly, as well try to poison me with Veteserum. That's right she dumped the whole damn vile of the stuff into a cup of tea she tried to get me to drink. I do want to thank you Moody for the motto to live by in that case, Constant Vigilance indeed. I would also like to point out that the received the potion from one Snivellus Snape. It being a controlled ministry substance I started wondering why he had it on his person in the first place. Hum, I'm sure many parents would not be too happy about that. The authorities might just look down on that as well. So piss of you greasy bat. You got what you deserved after the owls and if you deduct one more house point from Gryffindor or put one of us in detention unjustly I will make sure your up to your greasy brow in reporters and Ministry officials.
The room was silent as the threat sunk in and realization started to strike some of the members as there eyes widened.
So as you can see, I'm not exactly trilled when I hear the words that I'm safe and that Dumb-bell himself is always right. Think for yourselves you mush brained dolts. You don't need to be used in his Lordly game of chess, you're all his game pieces. Stay in the Order but don't be so blind as to follow orders like the death-eaters do.
Dumbledore was livid and getting more livid my the moment.
Well before the great Bumble-dore decides to send a rather dark curse me I will conclude.
I can do magic. How? My secret. But all those nice tracking charms that you and the Ministry placed on me are voided now. So stuff it. Don't bother looking for me you won't find me. Yes I know you will look anyway. Hopefully whoever is sent where ever will just use the time to enjoy themselves.
Oh I cut off all access you have to my gold old man. Yes I know you have been using my family assets for the Order's payroll. Ew that touched a nerve. Bye say safe. Love you Remus, Molly, Au…
In a puff of black smoke the letter desentigated. Standing by, with wand raised was a very livid Albus Dumbledore who had just launched a very dark curse at what might as well of been Harry Potter. The room was speechless. Harry sat on the plane wide eyed and speechless. He had seen that curse used before but he didn't know the incantation at the time. It was the same cures Dolohove used on Hermione.
A very scared Petunia and Dudley huddled together in the far corner, embarrassment forgotten at the display in front of them. Then Dudley's hair turned pink with a slight 'pop'. The tension in the room broke as Fred and George fell to the ground laughing once more. Most took that as their cue to leave. The only remaining were Remus, the Twins, and Tonks. Suddenly there was another 'pop' and everyone looked over to the sound only to see a completely naked Tonks too stunned to even cover herself up. It was then that the desk drawer opened and another talking note popped up.
Sorry Tonks, I just couldn't let an opportunity like this pass me by. And might I say, WOW. When I get back we definitely need to get together. Maybe I'll see you during my travels.
With that the letter tore itself up and seemed to shock Tonks into action. Screaming her murder of the young wizard she apperated out to her flat leaving behind a shocked aunt, a turned on cousin, and three wizards gasping for air as they laughed themselves silly.
The charm seemed to know when the show was over and canceled itself. And Harry sat back after a one and a half hours of laughing. He took off the ear phones and opened his eyes to see a very attractive and amused attendant watching over him. Remembering Sirius' words from last night and his new found desire to find himself he settled to some nice talking, nicer kissing and great groping until the plane landed. As the plane taxied to the gate the attendant, Brittany, gave him her number which he promptly added to his cell and promised if they ever had another trip she would make him a member of the mile high club. Not having a clue what that meant, Harry disembarked with one last sizzling kiss on his first stop: Australia.
Dumbledore was having a very bad day. As a matter of fact it was the worse he had in nearly 50 years. His ace in the hole so to speak was missing taking with it all it's advantages. An hour at Gringotts only got him a headache, a telling off, a very rare refusal. It seemed that Harry had in fact frozen his assets totally. So with hope he used his position as being the Head of the Wizingmot and ordered that he have access to Sirius' vault as well as the Black vault seeing as the last of the Black's were either convicted Deatheaters, married to Deatheaters or dead. After a long ride with a very amused goblin that really put him on edge he arrived at Sirius' vault, nothing was in it. Pissed off he made the track to the Black vault. It too was empty. The goblin seemed to snicker whenever Dumbledore wasn't looking and it was a very irate Headmaster that accended into the lobby of the bank. After numerous attempts where he was flat out joyously turned down access to the money or to where it went he started to resort to physical means. Mistake number… he had lost count for the days. More binding hexes hit him before he could raise his wand and he was forcibly removed from the goblin bank at spear point then thrown out onto the steps of the white building after being informed loud enough for the entire ally to hear that he was banned from the bank for a year and due to the treaties all funds in personal and family vaults could not be removed and could be used in any way deemed fitting to gain the goblins as much interest as possible. Dumbledore was officially broke lying on his stomach being viewed for the entire public to view as reporters ran around taking pictures for five minutes until the goblin magic wore off where he quickly apperated to head quarters only to be forcibly removed by Remus who the Goblins had deemed fit to approach immediately informing him that the house was now his and the actions that Dumbledore had been up to that day in the bank. That was a very pissed off were-wolf. Gathering what was left of his pride, the old Headmaster went to his school. For what might be one of the last times due to his now known underhanded acts. The whole time saying that he was only doing what needed to be done.
While the Order was being lectured by 'Letter Harry' Hedwig flew through the window at the Burrow. The only two occupants left were Ginny and Ron who grumbled about not being able to help their friend. Hedwig dropped the two letters on the table without even landing and flew back out the window. They grabbed their respective envelopes tore them open and pulled out the parchment. As they read both had tears roll down their cheeks. As the neared the end they smiled. At the end the both gasped at the explanation of the potion. They quickly dumped out the two vials each. Grinning at each other they downed it in one go. After the strange phft noise they too felt the release from their bonds and smiled at each other even wider.
"So he's really gone?" Ginny asked
"It looks that way. I hope he finds what he's looking for. I can't even imagine how he must feel right now. I can see why he want's to get away for a bit" added Ron.
"Yea but he did leave us nice parting gifts" Both red-heads smiled again and ran to their rooms to grab their wands. Soon they were both using magic to do anything they could think of not worrying that they might get in trouble. They trusted Harry. If he said it worked, it did. And work it did. Over the course of that summer magic the likes that had never been seen at the Burrow was studied and preformed, practiced and then practiced some more. Occasional notes from Harry that would just turn up in the middle of the night in their hands gave them charms, hexes, jinks and curses they had never heard of before. For the first time in his life Ron found why Hermione loved books so much. It wasn't the book but the information inside them. Learning new magic that he never believe possible and getting it to work for him. The same with Ginny. The two worked together not being able to go to Grimmauld place now that Remus refused to let Dumbledore enter it. Ron and Ginny still made weekly trips to the old mansion where they would meet Hermione and practice together and research and take books from what was left of the Black library. Moony and the twins, the only ones to know about the under age magic use, were tickled then impressed at the rate the at the young ones learned new material. They weren't letting this opportunity go to waste and they would be by Harry no matter what when ever he needed them and they would be prepared.
A wave of relieve flooded Hermione as she saw the snowy owl carrying a letter for her. Hedwig had delivered the other letters and was prepared to stay and assist her beloved masters friend as long as she need her to. Unknown to the young witch at the time, Harry had already delivered Eden to four other under age wizards and witches before her. As the beautiful owl landed on her desk with a mournful hoot, she got worried. Quickly she removed the letter and started reading through it. The first time though she was too shocked for any of the information to sink in. The second time tears flowed down her face. She understood why Hedwig was sad now. Harry was gone. Unsure what to do with the potion she only looked at it pondering if she should take it to the Headmaster or not. Her faith in authority had been severely shaken this past year and she only knew that she could always rely on Harry. Ron was wishy-washy some times and tended to spout off at the mouth with out thinking. But Harry would keep a secret with his dying breath if he had to. It was one of the many things she loved him for. She looked back at the letter. Harry finally told her how much she meant to him and that he loved her for her and no other reason. New tears and a sob escaped as she read the lines in the lengthy letter. Jane Granger, who happened to be passing the doorway at the time rushed to her daughter. The only response from her questioning was to be handed a letter. Of course Jane knew who Harry Potter was. Hermione's every other sentence was Harry this, Harry that. Harry's such a great wizard. As she read through the letter her own tears escaped. A boy not even sixteen poured his heart and soul into the parchment telling her daughter exactly what she had been wanting to hear for the past five years. She didn't know how to describe the feelings the young man had written down. They were deeper than love, so much more so. She wrapped her arms around her daughter crying softly with her.
"What are you going to do about the potions he sent you?" Jane asked
"I don't know."
"Do you trust Harry to never harm you"
"I will never doubt him again."
"Then take the potion. After what you told your father and I, I think you ought to study you hardest this summer like Harry asked. Ministry be damned."
Shocked slightly by her mother's statement, Hermione unplugged one vile and downed it's contents. Again the PFZT and freedom flowed through the girl's veins.
Dumbledore had just unknowingly lost all tracking he had spent years placing to keep track of his big gun.
"Well go on then, show us some of this magic you keep bragging about" Jane Granger stated nearly jumping on the bed with excitement. Rushing to grab her wand, Hermione could only think of one spell that would be perfect for a demonstration.
"This is a spell Harry spent weeks trying to teach a group of us. It is very hard and most fully grown witches and wizards can't perform the spell. Harry learned it in our third year. He used it to save the lives of his Godfather and I. Make a long story short after a bit of time travel I was able to watch as his spell drove away over a hundred of the most vile literally soul sucking creatures that have ever roamed the planet. I've never heard of any wizard being able to get rid of more than five at a time. To be able to drive off over a hundred is a feat of magic not even the greatest sorcerer could even dream of. It's funny really, he doesn't even know how powerful he really is. He thinks I'm much better than him. He would give his life ten times over to just ensure that we were safe. That is why I love him Mum."
Jane was awed at the description of power such a young boy could wield. Then silently cried at her daughter's monologue to herself.
Hermione brought up her happiest memories. Her, Harry & Ron playing around and how now Harry's letter to her. Love flowed through her for her friends… for Harry. 'EXPECTO PATONUM'
To both women's amazement a golden figure poured from the wand. A were-wolf, not the otter that she had previously. The pure joy and love poring form the patronus was tangible. The animal ran around the room looking for a dementor, anything that would harm her charge or anyone she cared about. Satisfied that there was no danger near it made it's way over to it's charge. With a happy pant it licked Hermione's face then her mother's and disappeared.
"Oh, OH, OH, Hermione that was magnificent! I can't believe it. The feeling it gave off was wonderful! I am so proud of you!"
"Something went wrong Mum. That wasn't supposed to happen."
Calming down some, "What do you mean that wasn't supposed to happen?"
"My patronus is an otter, not a were-wolf. All patronus' are supposed to be silver not gold. Your not supposed to be able to feel them for them to be tangible. What ever I just did, I don't think it has ever been done in the wizarding world, ever."
Confused by her daughter Jane could only think of one word, "Were-wolf?"
"Yea, it looked like professor Lupin." The girls eyes lit up, "I need to send some owls right away. Oh this could be great! MUM DO YOU KNOW WHAT THIS COULD MEAN? We might be able to kill them. To destroy the dementors. I was thinking about how much love I had for my friends and Harry not just a happy thought but love. That could be the key. OH, OH, OH! Do you know how important this is! It could change everything."
"Were-wolf?" Jane muttered
"Yes mother, were-wolves are real. So are vampires, trolls, giants and dragons. Harry actually fought a dragon in a tournament once. I'll have to tell you about that. It was the task before he saved me from the bottom of a two mile deep lake using only a rock and his wand to fend off the mer-people. The dolt. If he had just taken Ron and left he would have won the event, but no he had to do his saving people thing again."
"Dragon… lake… miles… bottom… mer-people!"
"I'll tell you all about this summer Mum. You'll hear the story of the Great Harry Potter and the Golden Trio. But first letters. Then research."
The next day Hermione was glad she had not told the aged Headmaster about the potion or the letter. The front page had a moving picture of Albus being thrown out of Gringotts accompanied with a three page article explaining in all the gory details more that happily released by the Goblins of how he was lock out of pilfering from the Potter family vault which the Daily Profit found that he was using as his own personal piggy bank, withdrawing tens of thousands of galleons before the owner finally put a stop to it. Then of trying to raid the now legally deceased Sirius Black's personal and family vaults only to find the money had been removed to an undisclosed location or account. It then told about he man being banned from entering the bank or removing money from it for a year due to goblin treaties.
"Good, serves him right for stealing from Harry." That had done it. She lost all respect for authority. It was time to do things the Harry way. Secret society here we come. With a harumph she tossed the wizarding paper to her mother. Jane's eyes widened as she read.
"Bet your glad you didn't mail him last night now aren't you?"
"Yes, Yes, the first thing I'm going to do is learn how to ward. I don't trust anything that man put around our house."
A week later found Ron, Hermione & Ginny in the library of Grimmauld place. After a quick work between the two girls they both came out grinning like mad. It scared Ron. Remus watched finding it funny that Harry could cause so much trouble in such a short amount of time. 'The marauder in him finally caught up with him.' The Order had to be called out to the Durleys every day for the past week and a half to change one thing or another. Today it was the hair again. They had gotten rid of the shampoo but kept the conditioner. After getting rid of that the two males still couldn't figure out why they kept itching in their nether regions and getting colored hair. The charms on the walls still hadn't faded and random pots seemed to yell and scream. Now he gave his friends their freedom from the old idiot as Remus had started referring to him.
After a brief run down of what happened in Hermione's bedroom, the two other rule breakers as well as the older one were anxious to test her theory. Again all three concentrated on the love the felt for each other and specifically Harry, remembering their notes. In unison the chorused, "EXPECTO PATRONUM"
To the amazement of all, three golden figures exploded from the wands. Again Hermione's was Moony. Ron's was a giant dog, a grim… Padfoot. But the most remarkable one was Ginny's. The twelve year old version of Harry potter with the sword of Gryffindor stood there with a glint in his eyes that reminded everyone why he was equal to Voldemort… her Knight. The three figures looked around the room then made their way to their charges. Again they were tangible. Moony came to rest a hand on the large dog. It turned and regarded him for a moment then licked his face, jumped up and put his front paws on Remus' shoulders and looked him in the eyes. It was Padfoot. Tears leaked from the old were-wolf's eyes then with one last lick he vanished along with the other three. No one spoke of the event again.
On Harry's birthday Moony was surprised to see not only the trio, but also Fred and George barrel into the room.
"I don't know how he did it but he did it Moony. It's the funniest thing I've ever seen in my life." Bellowed Fred
"What are you talking about. What is that with you? A pensive?"
"Right in one. Harry, Harry recorded the entire prank. He watched it somehow. He has a full memory of it from the time each of them woke up." George continued.
Remus just laughed. "I know what spell he used we us to put it on the girls and wa…."
He stopped and blushed as he remembered what he use to watch. The others just laughed.
"We'll get the spell from you later. Here Harry sent this to us so we could watch it."
The contraption was nothing like he had ever seen before. All it was, was a disk. Fred put it on the table in the study, tapped his wand to it and a very happy looking and relaxed young man greeted them for a brief introduction. After which the prank started. As if cued the 'ughs' 'ewes' 'oh mys' and 'no ways' filled the room amidst howls of laughter. It was turning out to be a great summer.