The day could not get any worse Shizuka had reassured her. Nothing bad will happen.
Worse turned up in the form of Yugi and Anzu.
Worst still, they were tagged by Honda and Pretty Face.
Jou was ready to hyperventilate.
She would have run away, using those infamous long legs which had won her numerous awards. If the Team hadn't already spotted them.
"Hai Kaiba! Hey Mokuba!"
"Shizuka! The light of my life…"
Jou quickly duck behind Kaiba, don't see me, don't see me, don't see me-
"And who's your friend?" Anzu's head popped around, peeking over Kaiba's arm.
"GYAAAH!!" Jou freaked out, dashed to the nearest window and leaped outside.
"Erm…" Anzu flinching from Kaiba's glare, "was it something I said?"
"Ahahaha, not to worry, it was our very shy, very abnormal, er, pre-school friend, right, Kawai?" Mokuba banged heartily on Shizuka's back, nearly sending her sprawling.
"Touch me and die, little man," snarled Shizuka.
"Oooh, scary, like any one with a smidgeon of taste would,"
"Choke on your tongue and die, Frodo,"
Kaiba glared at them as the bickering rise in volume, "Quiet down or you will find yourself on a desert island without a single electrode to make a light bulb." Mokuba actually froze, Shizuka sniggered, "and you," he tried to think up a suitable punishment, "… I shall speak to Jounouchi about you,"
Shizuka stuck out her tongue, much to the amusement of the others.
Honda, who could no longer contain himself burst out, "So who's the chick who threw herself out the window?"
This time, Shizuka froze and paled.
Kaiba, to his credit, did not even let an eyebrow quiver, he turn to glare at Anzu.
"That," he said, "was my girlfriend you scare off,"
Complete and total silence fell, as onlookers pretending not to be listening froze with Yugi and co.
Kaiba shrugged off his coat.
"You're insane," repeat Shizuka, as though Kaiba did not have superb hearing along with an excellent sense of fashion, "you're insane and have a death wish,"
"I'm afraid I would have to agree with Kawai on this one, bro," Mokuba snorted, "You think Jou would appreciate this?"
"My sister will kill you in your sleep, poison your well water and make your miserable life worse then death,"
Kaiba sniffed, "The puppy is too insignificant for that," he paused, "and I do not own a well,"
That stumped Shizuka a little, just for a while, "well, you're still insane," she declared.
They had gotten to the car by now, laden with shopping, Mokuba popped the trunk and was loading the bags in when something snatched at his ankle. His scream echoed off the parking lot, making Kaiba and Shizuka jumped in surprise. A blonde head poke out from beneath the car.
"Jou," wheezed Mokuba, "I'm going to kill you,"
"Shhh," hissed Jou frantically, still gripping Mokuba's leg, "Shhh! Shhh!"
"I'll 'shhh' you, bastard," hissed Mokuba, doing his best to restrain himself from stomping on Jou's face.
"Nee-sama!" cried Shizuka happily, "we wondered what happened to you,"
"Mm," said Kaiba.
"Just get me outta here!" whimpered Jou, "There's a lotta weird people, keep wanting ta get near ta me, freakn' freak stuff,"
Kaiba note that Jou's accent had grown worse.
They managed to make it home without anymore incident; Shizuka immediately commandeered a room for herself and Katsuya to play dress up. Kaiba and Mokuba worked quietly in Kaiba's office, until the door burst open to reveal Shizuka and a blushing skinny Jou, in swim suits. Kaiba immediately dashed for the bathroom, drops of blood trailed the floor behind him.
Jou rolled her eyes, "Always knew he's a pervert."
School day dawn bright and cheerful, there were some shouts of hellos and greetings and people rushing about to get last minute homework done. A little beyond the gate of the school a sleek limousine stood. Within the limousine, a small battle was being wrought.
"Come. On." Kaiba snarled, "We. Are going. To be late!" he accentuated the each pause with sharp pulls at the blonde. He had an arm around the flat tone stomach, and was not thinking about licking her belly button.
"N-O," Jou snarled back, claws dug determinedly into the leather.
Kaiba was too intent on getting Jou out of the car to notice, or care about the tearing leather, he could afford a million leather seats after all. This brings him to the matter at hand…
"Mokuba and the female had already left, it's just us now, the bell will-" the school bell choose that moment to shriek, "-ring,"
Well the puppy had always been stubborn, hah, but he, the Great Kaiba Seto is not a genius for nothing, feigning surprise, and he said very casually, "Oh, look, is that Yugi heading here?"
Jou reflexively froze. Kaiba took the chance to bodily haul her out of the car. Tearing sounds could be heard; the limousine driver winced at the sound of expensive material rendered useless even as Kaiba celebrates his triumph by indulging himself in something he had dreamt of doing ever since he saw that body encased in skirt.
Kaiba raised his hand, and brought it quickly down against the skinny rump.
There was a loud crack, and a deafening scream.
Kaiba estimated that Jou's outraged screamed could be heard within fifty miles, he idly wondered if she would scream like this in bed. All thoughts soon cease as claws which had dug determinedly in his leather chairs, targeted his back. Fortunately, school uniforms aren't as yielding as leather, the clawing was unpleasant, but not painful, and before any damage to his skin happen, salvation appear.
"Oh, hi, Yugi," he greeted casually, as though he greeted the midget everyday, as though appearing with a girl slung over his shoulder was something quite regular.
"Think I'm gonna fall fer that twice ya' miserable moneybags!?" screeched his bundle.
"Er, hi, um, Kaiba,"
The wriggling bundle stopped moving.
"Hello, Yugi," Kaiba greeted politely
"Er, er, is that, er, a girl?"
Kaiba glared haughtily at the midget, projecting immense amount of dignity "I believe so,"
"So, ehem, may I enquire," the glare says no, but Yugi pressed on bravely, "Um, why is she slung over your shoulder?"
"Ah," said Kaiba enigmatically, he loved being enigmatic! "Ah," he said again, just to get the proper feel of it, "This is-"
"YUGI!!" screeched his bundle, which somehow managed to wriggle out of his grasp and went sobbing into a bewildered Yugi's arms. "It's so horrible!" she wailed, "So terrible, so tragic!"
"…" Yugi looked helplessly at Kaiba, who was not too happy at their close proximity.
"So," Otogi placed the tips of his fingers together, "so, this is all very interesting,"
Yugi put a comforting hand on Jou's arm, "it's alright, and you did the right thing by telling us,"
"After all," put in Anzu, "we are all your friends," she paused, "by the way, sorry about scaring you out the window,"
"To think," said Ryou dreamily, "there are actually curses which Bakura had yet to encounter," he smiled at Jou, "this is a most extraordinary time delayed spell of the combined usage of the dark artefacts, perhaps we could-"
"Perhaps you should shut up," said Kaiba.
"Oh, er, well, sorry Jou" he said, "of course, it's a fascinating study, but um, we could talk about it some other time,"
"So," Jou was literally wringing her hands, "so, this is all alright with you guys?"
"Yeah," said Honda brightly, "if we have 3000 year old spirits possessing our friends and threatened utter chaos to the world, this is practically nothing!"
"Yes," said Anzu encouragingly, "In fact, with all ancient super artefacts floating around Domino, why it's only a matter of time one of us stumbled onto a gender altering ankh!"
Kaiba coughed discreetly into his hand.
It was scary how things became almost normal after that. Jou became 'Jou-chan' to her friends, Jounosoto Katsuko was smuggled into the education systems. Although how any idiot could be believed that such a name existed, or how unimaginative the CEO of a gaming company could be. Really, changing her name from 'within the city' to 'outside the city'? And the very suspicious switch from 'ya' to 'ko' at the end of her name?
Of course, this is also the very same town which took no notice of cloaked figures wondering about maiming people and sending them into the funny farm by the truckloads. Oh, not to mention billionaire CEOs attending classes pretending to be normal teens. Sometimes she wondered how most of them stayed sane through their formative years in domino city.
Of course, there are also idiots who use to be her friends who tried to hit on her now, after screaming in horror at the memory of dancing around naked in the locker room in front of a girl. Please, as if anything could shock her, really. A cutting remark was on her tongue, ready to spring out and shred Honda to pieces, when a heavy hand descends on her shoulder.
"It is time to leave,"
Oh yes, and how could she have forgotten Kaiba The Caveman Seto, who refuses to be reasonable and refute his 'girlfriend' claim on her. Jou turned her cutting remark at the Caveman.
Ok, so it wasn't exactly extraordinary in terms of depth and witticism, but it's straight forward! Jou punctuated the remark with a growl.
She is so cute. Kaiba's mind supplied unnecessarily even as it processed the growling, and the glaring and the unbelievably adorable way the school uniform draped on her form. Also, the short skirts, which he knew covered some expensive, pretty underwear, he had just gotten his credit card statement that morning.
Too bad Kawai didn't know his credit card listed all the things that it's spent on. Kaiba was dying to know what most of them look like on the blonde. He'd spent a lovely evening going through the net, checking up on mysterious things like 'Victoria's Secret', teddies and other assorted things. It was all very expensive, therefore Kaiba felt that as the main sponsor, he was entitled to, ahem, examine the goods.
Of course, to do that he would have to be more than just friends with the blonde, which was perfectly fine with him, Kaiba smiled, he spent most of last night practicing, "You look great today,"
A remark taken straight out of dating manual 101, not that anyone had to know.
Jou scowled, "Get away from me yah freak,"
Kaiba held on grimly to his smile, "Oh, I'm good too, what do you say we head over to MacKinnon's for lunch, hmm?"
Jou hissed like a wet cat.
"I heard their beef plate sets are to die for," his eye lids lowered, and he leaned closer, "Seared to perfection, with all the trimmings you want…"
"… and I haven't started on their dessert menu yet…"