Misao: 8D Woo~ Look at me! I'm on a boa- roll. On a roll. And I should be shot for what I was about to say. XDD And I wonder how many will actually get that… SO! Here is a new chapter. Much longer then the last as promised. And see? I'm totally keeping my more frequent update promise too! So far. -is DETERMINED to finish these-
Warnings: Cursing and violent mood swings. 8D
Pairings: Bakura x Seto, Yami x Bakura x Marik
"If I could start again
A million miles away
I would keep myself
I would find a way"
Morning comes far too soon for my liking, but I'm grateful for the fact that my consciousness comes peacefully enough instead of being awoken abruptly with the need to spew all over the place. It's been quite a few days, so I'm hoping that part of the pregnancy is done and over with for good.
I groan quietly, turning on my side so that my back is facing the window where a few slivers of light are shining through the curtains. Cracking an eye open, I immediately remember where I am and want nothing more then to stay in this room and completely avoid the world around me. However, unfortunately for me I know that's not going to happen.
…….. Wait one bloody minute.
It suddenly comes to mind that I'm in a room, when I specifically remember that I fell asleep on the living room couch.
That means Seto must have taken the liberty of moving me. I bristle at the very thought of him touching me, more so with me being unconscious. Why in the seven depths of hell was I not AWARE of being moved? Normally I'm alert and would have broken that stoic but attractive face of his the moment he so much as laid a finger on me.
With a low growl of aggravation, I sit up in the bed with a toss of the blankets. I'm in one of the guest rooms, located at which part in the mansion I'm not sure - since most of the guest rooms look identical. I'm going to assume however that it's not as far from the main areas of the house as I would probably like….
A strange feeling comes over me as I sit here in the middle of this ridiculously large bed…A feeling I've become accustomed to and can admit easily enough - if only to myself - loneliness. I suppose having woken up in someone's arms as often as I have lately has spoiled me. It had been such a nice feeling… even just waking up in one of the small rooms of the Game Shop had been nice, the bed small enough that I didn't feel like I was drowning in it, the room cozy and inviting, even the scent and aura of the pharaoh's shrimp hikari had been comforting… however that worked.
I run a hand through my sure to be messy tresses. Holy Ra, I'm pathetic. Am I really thinking like this? What am I talking about? I've been thinking like this for a while now. Even since this… thing… has been growing inside of me, I've become a completely different person.
And I hate it.
What I would give to be the powerful being I once was, sadistic and uncaring. No emotions other then anger driving me - that anger that kept me strong, unwavering. It had overpowered every other possible emotion that could have brought me down. But somewhere along the line, I lost it.…. I suppose I'll blame Ryou for that one. Again, with him and his kindness and caring; his determination to give me a chance to be something more.
I can't blame him as much as I'd like though, I've grown far too fond of the boy. He's by far no where near as pathetic as I'd believed so long ago. Stronger then me, even. I snort at the though, he'd have to be to have put up with my antics for so long…
I miss him…
Why did he have to go to Egypt? Malik would have stayed in Domino if he wanted. His stupid father had been the one to suggest it, so he could spend more time with his son. If I were Ryou, I would have told him to go fuck himself since he hadn't cared much before.
Hikari is happy to be with his father though, I could feel it the few times we've spoken through our mind link since his departure. He's happy with Malik. He's fine without me. If anything, I'm the one who needs him…. I refuse to bother him though with my problems.
….. I'm being melodramatic, letting all these thoughts float around in my head and wallowing in self pity. Again.
"FUCK this!" I snarl loudly, bounding out of the bed with renewed energy - said energy only stemming from a near over bearable self-loathing for being so damn pathetic and a sudden resolve to change that. "I don't need any of them." I hiss under my breathe, as if saying it out loud will convince me of such.
My entire body is overcome with a tingling sensation, this sensation is not a foreign one to me - the urge to do something violent. Hurt someone - something, break something, anything. Before I even entirely register what I'm doing, a loud scream rips through my throat and I'm hurling a lamp - that just so happened to be within reach - at the wall, and the sound of glass shattering I find somehow soothing.
It's not enough though, and my need to quell this urging spurt of far too long suppressed aggression becomes uncontainable and the next thing I know I tearing the room apart.
"FUCK the stupid Pharaoh!"
Smashing expensive decorative items to pieces, shredding the pillows and sheets - even the curtains - overturning furniture as start cursing every single person that I associate myself with.
"Fuck Ryou! Fuck Marik!"
I must look like a mad man, the thought passes through the very back of my mind but is ignored as I throw something - I'm not sure what - through the large bedroom windows with a cry of rage.
"Fuck EVERYONE. I don't need any of them!" This crazed statement is concluded with the ear pierced sound of more glass shattering - but this time it's because my fist has connected with the mirror placed above the dresser. A hiss escapes me, but I clench my jaw tightly against the pain, staring at my bloodied hand, almost fascinated with the crimson liquid spilling from the shredded skin, and the way pieces of the mirror are sticking out of my flesh in a sickeningly disgusting way. Yet, I find myself relishing it… this pain, and it's broken me out of my cloudy haze of rage…
"They made me like this…" I whisper, growling low in my throat. They made me like this, and with this realization, I now know how to fix myself….
I'll leave. I'll give Seto this child, and then I'm gone. Away from it all. Away from Marik and Yami, away from this city. I'll completely block off my link with Ryou - not like he'll notice since we barely use it anymore, I'll cut off all contact from all of these people and go somewhere where I can piece myself back together - try to salvage what's left of my old self.
I hear the sound of the bedroom door swinging open, hitting the wall with a loud bang and I instinctively snarl and whip around to see who it is - despite already knowing who I'll see standing in the doorway.
I think I'm proud of myself, internally very much pleased by the priceless expression on Seto's face upon seeing my handy work on the guest bedroom. "What the hell did you do!?" he barks out, clearly enraged by finding his once spotless guest room in total wreckage.
I myself finally take the time to assess the damage I've done, taking in everything from the broken window to the ruined furniture…. before finally shrugging in response, "Remodeled a bit. I think it's a good look for the room, gives it a bit more character and that lived-in feel, you know?" I smirk. Not to mention it differentiates it from the 20 other rooms identical to it… "What? You don't like it?" Well la de fucking da rich boy, I'm sorry my decorative skills aren't up to par with your standards.
I almost forgot how fun destroying things is. I should take up that hobby again, maybe I'll even start 'remodeling' some other rooms in the mansion. Practice makes perfect, right? Maybe if I do good Seto will give me a sticker for all my hard work.
"I should kick your sorry ass out right n-"
"But you won't." I interrupt him, saying so in sure tone of voice and raising my eyes to meet his - daring him to say otherwise. We both know I'll leave without so much as a second thought if he tests me.
"Don't be so cocky." He sneers, "Despite whatever you think your not running the show here."
Fuck you Seto Kaiba, I'm running it in my own mind and that's all that matters right now. I don't care what he says, I'm not going to back down. I'm not his bitch anymore, and I AM running this show because he's on a very thin line with me and I WILL leave. The outcome of all this solely depends on my decisions. He's the one who has to sit back and wait and has absolutely no control over it.
Poor little control freak Kaiba, I bet this is silently killing him.
Or maybe I'm just hoping it is because I want someone else besides myself to be suffering because of all this as well. Misery loves company and all that shit. Well in my case misery loves making other people equally as miserable.
Sharing is caring, after all. While I'm usually quite selfish, in cases like this I can make an exception.
"I'm going to go take a shower." I announce suddenly, as a means of escape from being in the same room with him any longer and cease the argument I no longer wish to be having. "I can't promise your bathroom won't be in a similar state when I'm done. I'm having a hard time controlling my anger lately, mood swings and all that."
Strutting my way towards the taller one, I push past him and out into the hallway, and with just a glance I know exactly which part of the mansion I'm in and know exactly which way I want to go. But because I'm, well, me. I just can't bring myself to walk away without getting a few more words in . So, I grin over my shoulder at him, un-phased by the death glare he's pinning me with.
"Oh. I think I got some blood on the carpet, nothing bleach can't fix though, right? Heard that stuff eats through anything. " Actually I found out the hard way, and Marik nearly murdered me for the result it had on all of his clothes. It wasn't my fault though, how was I supposed to tell it apart from the detergent?
To my silent surprise he doesn't make any angry retorts back at me, and instead turns on his heels and swiftly makes his way in the opposite direction, no doubt beyond ticked…. Ohh, I do believe I win brownie more brownie points. I think I like this 'lets see how much it takes to piss Seto off' game.
I'm actually a bit unnerved by my own actions. I don't usually lose control like that, I couldn't have stopped myself if I wanted to and that bothers me. Sure, I've never had an exceptional hold on my anger but I've always been in control of myself to some extent. And any destruction I've caused in the past has been done completely of my own accord.
Reaching the nearest bathroom - since there's a dozen throughout the house - I slam it shut behind me, before collapsing back against it. I'm calmer now then I obviously was before, and what had been a satisfying pain was now becoming an annoying stinging throb… I tilt my head down to glance at my hand that's limp at my side, noticing that it's not bleeding quite as much but there's still a small puddle of crimson forming on the floor. I really should work on getting those broken shards out of my hand…
Crossing the oversized bathroom - and yes, even the bathrooms in this place are unnecessarily gigantic - I turn on the faucet, moving my hand to hold it under the warm running water to wash what blood from it I can.
Hmm… perhaps smashing a mirror with my bare fist wasn't the greatest idea, I realize as I further inspect the wound , though blood is seeping out of the cuts once more but luckily it's slowed down. There's tiny, miniscule pieces imbedded in my skin and I'm not quite sure how I'll go about removing those, exactly…
I shut the water off, sinking down to sit on the edge of the tub. I don't really feel like getting a shower anymore… I realize this, as a wave of some sort of despair washes over me. I'm losing it, I really am. All these ups and downs, going from angry to angrier and then sinking back down into depression. I don't suggest it, it's highly annoying.
When I'm calm like this, my mind has the tendency to wander in directions I'd rather it not. Like right now, thoughts of the Pharaoh are snaking their way into my mind.
Is my decision a good one? Am I really certain this is what I should do? Leave, that is. It seems like the only option right now, but… had I chose to ignore Seto's demands to talk with me and stayed with the Pharaoh, what would the outcome of that had been?
He wanted to take care of you. A small voice in the back of my mind whispers.
No - I argue with myself - He wanted to fuck me. Just like everyone else. I was simply vulnerable and my raging hormones had effected my thinking, which is the only reason I had been ready to agree to become his 'lover' of sorts and let him have his way with me.
But he stopped you when you weren't in your right mind.
That was all part of his plan! To make it seem like he wasn't trying to take advantage of me…Even I know how ridiculous I'm being. I'm trying to convince myself of this simply to make myself feel better and give myself more of an excuse to continue hating the Pharaoh. And to convince myself I don't want to be anywhere near him.
You're a bloody idiot.
Don't I know it.
As if things couldn't get anymore complicated then they had been, now I'm more confused then ever. Why had I nearly agreed to that anyways? And more so, why would Yami even suggest it knowing I love Marik?
I love Marik? I furrow my brows at the very thought. I've never concluded I have such feelings for the Egyptian. I didn't deny it when Yami said it only because I didn't feel the need to justify myself to him - that and I wanted to see where he was going with it.
It's completely ridiculous though. I don't 'love' anyone. I've been far too adamantly shunning the word and the feelings attached to it lately, so how that thought slipped into my mind is beyond me…
I'm not even sure what love really is, to be honest. I can't recall ever having felt it before. So how would I know? I care for Marik. More then I have anyone besides my hikari in this lifetime, and I'm not stupid or dense enough to believe lust and love are in any way related.
So, I care for him, and I lust for him. Isn't that as far as it goes? Though I can't explain those inexplicable urges to be near him, nor the strange unnamable feelings I've fought with since he began his out of character affectionate ways towards me.
Come to think of it, those same feelings - albeit not quite as strong - arose just last night. Only it wasn't Marik who induced them that time - it was Yami.
Well what the bloody hell sense does that make? I don't give a rats ass about the Pharaoh, so clearly those strange feelings don't mean shit either way and I'm just looking far too much into it.
This is making my head hurt, I'm done thinking about it.
Just am I'm about to get up and finally attend to my wounded hand, I halt - well trained ears catching the faint sounds of yelling, arguing perhaps? Curious, inch my ways towards the door and press my ear against the surface, straining to better hear…
I can't make out what's being said, but I notice the voices are getting louder - closer. And I soon realize it's not arguing, but rather just one voice making all the commotion…
"If you get in my way I will send you to the Shadow Realm!"
My eyes widen at the all too recognizable voice…
What is he doing here!?
The bickering dies down momentarily, but not a moment later I hear Yami's booming voice, "What happened!?" He hisses, "Where is he? What did you do?"
I'm going to take a wild guess here and assume Yami noticed my amazing renovation to the room I'd awoken in.
Though I obviously can't see them, I just know from the tone of his voice that Kaiba has that irritating sneer on his face, "I didn't do a damn thing. Why don't you ask -him- why he felt the need to destroy one of my guest rooms and take a fist to the mirror?"
I can't make out what's being said now, but I'm trying to decide weather I want to stay hidden in here and hope Yami goes away, or confront him and ring his neck for completely disregarding the fact I told him not to follow me.
Albeit it is the morning after, little bastard probably thought he'd be a smartass and find a loophole to that.
Sighing, I reach out to open the door when suddenly it swings open and I instinctively jerk back. And what I'm met with is a pair of almost crazed amethyst eyes, though I see a flicker of recognition pass through them before they soften all together.
I resist the urge to squirm at having those eyes looking at me like that again…. The meaning behind them.
"Bakura! Are you alright…?" His voice, which was just moments ago angry and harsh was now soft and concerned, and next thing I know he's taken my injured hand into his own, lifting it carefully and checking it over. A good amount of blood has risen from the lacerations again already, so it looks much worse then it actually is.
Ra this is weird. I remember a time when the Pharaoh looked at me with nothing but malice or irritation and would banish my soul without a second thought. Now here he is, babying me over a few cuts…
When did his view of me change so much?
"I'm fine." I mutter, fighting back the blush I feel threatening to heat up my face. I pull my hand away and give him an agitated look, "Need I remind you I'm far from fragile? You act like a woman Pharaoh, I swear."
I put more distance between him and myself, questioning the want I have to bury myself in his embrace. Which is completely ridiculous I remind myself. I wont let the Pharaoh of all people make me falter again… I've made my resolve to carry out with my the way I've planned things out.
"You should really get your hand properly taken care of Baku-"
"No, you should really give me a damn good reason as to why you're here. You have ten seconds and it better be good." I cut him off, demanding he give me an explanation. I don't know why I ever expected he'd comply with my wishes. The son of Ra only listens to one person; himself. And maybe Ra, but I don't doubt he'd tell Ra to go screw himself and go about his merry way going what he wants.
"Look, I know you told me not to follow but we thought you'd be back by now and I just wanted to make sure you were alright. Not to mention Marik' a complete wreck and I had to stop him from going on a rampage once you left…" His words die down as he realizes from my increasingly annoyed expression that his explanation is crap.
"I don't know when your going to get it through that spiky head of yours that I can take care of myself. I always have, and always will." I state pointedly, "As for Marik, he's strong. It won't take him long to pull himself together and realize what a fucking girl he's being." I spit out scathingly, then narrow my glare in on Seto who's standing quietly behind the pharaoh, "And you, why did you let him in here?"
Seto simply smirks at me, and I clench my injured hand tightly, the slight pain distracting me from shoving Yami out of the way and delivering a nice punch to the bastards face. "You didn't agree yet, so I don't have to uphold my end of things until you do."
Tch, why didn't I see that one coming? Once as asshole, always an asshole. He doesn't give until he gets, and even when he gets there's a good chance he'll screw you over. Because he's Seto Kaiba. He's rich, so obviously that gives him the rights to do so.
A growl rises low in my throat and I'm about to give the CEO a piece of my mind, and maybe a piece of my foot up his ass while I'm at it, when Yami speaks up. "Agree? Agree to what? " He furrows his brows, clearly disconcerted that there's something going on and he's not in the loop of it. "Bakura, just ignore him and come back home with me. We don't need him."
"We?" I raise an eyebrow at him, almost amused. "Last I checked this was my problem. I decide what I do, thank you very much." I cross my arms indignantly, not really caring if I my shirt gets further stained. It's ruined anyways and I can always just steal a new one.
A small frown tugs at Yami's lips, "What can Seto offer you that Yuugi and I haven't already?"
Well he doesn't coddle me for one thing…
"If it's money-"
"Not money." I snort, as if I've ever been interested in the stuff. I don't need money to survive, "An escape." I offer as a vague reason.
"So you want to run away from this?" his voice has raised, ever so slightly and he sounds sort of frustrated.
"I don't expect you to understand." I snap back.
He bristles, looking like he wants to snap back at me. But in a true Pharaoh manner, he quickly composes himself and when he speaks his voice is calm once more. "Bakura, you have people here who actually give a shit about you. Marik -loves- you." He stresses, and I can hear it in his voice that it bothers him to say it.
"It doesn't matter." The glare I'd had fixed upon my face up until now melts away, but I'm determined to stand my ground and not let on just how defeated I really feel. How does the Pharaoh do this to me…? "I've already fucked everything up. He's probably fed up with me by now."
The change in my disposition brings about a change in Yami's own, and his tensed body relaxes a bit as he gives me a saddened look. "He's miserable, and if he was in his right mind he never would have-" He stops himself in mid sentence, and had I not been so caught up in my head I probably would have been suspicious and questioned it.
"I've already made up my mind." I tell him, and both he and Seto me questioning looks since I said it quite suddenly. I turn to the CEO who was still lingering near the door, taking a deep breathe as I seal my fate with these words. "I accept your offer…. Now get him out of here." I motion my head in Yami's direction.
"Wha-" Yami's eyes widen in shock - clearly in disbelief - and he starts towards me but Seto grabs a hold of his upper arm and forces him back, "Bakura-"
I don't give him time to try and reason with me, and instead brush past the two and start down the hall quickly, ignoring the Pharaoh's calls and sounds of their struggles behind me….
Sitting on the kitchen counter, I distractedly munch on some cookies I had found whilst rummaging through cabinets. It had been a few hours since the Pharaoh's visit - my hand now bandaged and I'm pretty sure I got most of the shards out of my skin - and until now I had hidden myself away in a deserted section of the mansion to think.
Something I've been doing far too much of lately.
Obviously I can go back on my agreement with Kaiba anytime I want to, not according to him but according to myself. He can't force me to do anything in the end, but for now I'm sticking with my decision….
"So, are you really pregnant?"
I startle, alerted from the sudden voice and upon looking up my gaze ands on none other then Seto's little brat. I glower at him, giving him a small warning snarl for good measure after which I opt to ignore him. He's bound to get bored and go away if I ignore him long enough , the kid's got a pretty short attention span.
I've normally found him to be relatively tolerable, but obviously my current condition on top of everything else going on makes pretty much nothing tolerable to me anymore.
You know I really thought Mokuba was smarter then that, but instead of getting the message and going away, he decides he wants to stay and pester me. Leaning against the kitchen table, he looks me over. I'm agitated enough as it is, so having him looking at me like I'm some sort of freak show is wearing on my patience. But what he says next just tops it off….
"I mean, it's kind of weird. I thought only girls had babies. But then again, you do look kinda girly…"
I'm off the counter and in front of him in a matter of seconds, gripping the collar of his shirt and jerking him off the ground so he's face to face with me. He looks scared, that's good. He should be. "You do not want to fuck with me kid, you got that?" I hiss, voice low and threatening and his eyes are as big as saucers and he's shaking his head vigorously.
"I know you aren't threatening my little brother, thief."
I look to the doorway to find Seto standing there, ice cold eyes warning. I release my hold on Mokuba, letting the runt fall to the floor and land painfully on his ass. He quickly scrambles off the floor and runs over to hide behind Seto, giving me a dirty look now that he's in the safety of his brothers presence.
"I suggest teaching that little runt some manners before someone else does it for you." I sneer back at him. Turning away from them, I snatch my box of cookies back up and popping one into my mouth, leaning against the counter and regarding Seto with a raised eyebrow.
"Touch him again and consider yourself dead." He threatens, glancing down and giving the smaller one a look, to which Mokuba nods and scampers off…
Tossing the cookie box in a random direction, I saunter my way over to stand in front of him and with a smirk I reach up and pat his cheek, "Your kind of cute when you try to be threatening. You should just leave that to the professionals."
With that, I slip past him and make my way out the door.
I need some fresh air.
Or to maim somebody.
I just needed to get out of there. Being a thief, it's very unsettling to stay in one place for too long. It makes you feel trapped, confined - and it's not a very pleasant feeling and puts you on edge. As if the stress of life itself isn't enough.
Not even half the days gone yet, and I find myself yearning for night time to come. There's too many people out and about, even as I approach the normally secluded area of the park it feels too crowded for my liking…
I blink in surprise at finding myself here, glancing around and wondering why I had come here of all places. I had just been wandering aimlessly, but….
I frown as it occurs to me that I shouldn't be here. This is probably the worst of places to be when I'm trying to avoid certain people, and I know without a doubt that the Pharaoh and his midget hikari and their friends are always hanging around here.
I need to leave. Now.
I turn on my heels, ready to get far away from being anywhere near this vicinity when something catches my eye. A flash of yellow and red. I nearly panic recognizing the flash as an all too familiar hairstyle. However, it disappears behind some trees and calm realizing I wasn't seen.
I stare at the trees the form disappeared behind, and against my better judgment I stalk closer. I don't know what almighty power compelled me to do so, but upon reaching the lot of trees I hear faint voices. I press myself up against one, carefully masking my presence so if it's the Pharaoh he won't sense me.
The voices raise in argument, and I peek around the tree curiously…
My eyes widen, a quiet gasp escaping my lips at the scene before me.
Misao: WELL, this chapter took a bit longer to get out then I thought it would. But stuff came up and I didn't have much time on my hands. It's also not as long as I intended, but I figured I'd stop it here and give you guys an update. I feel I kind of rushed the ending though. -fails- But I hope you guys enjoy it none the less. xD