Shadows of Light
Stepping into his living room, two days later, Severus was amazed at just how grateful he was to be able to do that. Even more amazing was the constant presence beside him, it wasn't so much that Sirius was there, as it was that it didn't irritate him, in fact it was oddly comforting.
Remembering returning to his empty rooms, his mind went back, as it had been since it had finally sunk in that he'd survived the war, to the letter he'd written before leaving. He'd written so much in that, that although he wouldn't take back any of it, he knew they would have to talk about it and he wasn't good at admitting his feelings to himself, let alone to someone else.
"Home cold Home, eh Sev."
"Shut up Black. Incendio" As the fireplace sprung to life, and heat instantly permeated the air, he moved further into his chambers and towards his bedroom, wanting to change from the heavy cloak he wore. He was grateful to Poppy for not forcing him into the customary hospital gown, but no number of cleaning spells could remove the dirt and blood the robe held.
Feeling like Lady Macbeth, he removed the robe and pointing his wand at it, it burst into flames;
"Out out damn spot." Chuckling with a rare moment of relief, he turned towards his bed and stopped short at the sight of the letter lying folded beside a rearranged pillow, the pillow had definitive arm shaped dents in the sides. Knowing that the last time he had slept there, there had been a body, not a pillow pulled against him, he realised that someone must have been back to sleep there after he left.
It didn't take his mind any time to conclude that it had been Sirius, and he wasn't sure if he liked the warmth that seemed to spread through him knowing Sirius had returned to his rooms whilst he was away.
Strong arms came around him from behind, hands resting on his stomach. Not so much a possessive gesture as for reassurance.
"You scared the hell out of me with that letter, you know."
"Hm, yes that letter, I'm afraid we need to talk about that and...this." He waved his arms in front of them both.
"Wow, I thought the terrifying Severus Snape wasn't afraid of anything, he must be softening with age."
"Don't joke Black." He was having a hard enough time with it as it was, he didn't need the extra distraction of Sirius's baiting.
The arms tensed and then relaxed, pulling him closer.
"No you're right."
"Not something I ever expected to hear from Sirius Black." He couldn't help it; Black had always been his weakness.
"If I can't joke, neither can you Sev." He chose to ignore the name again, besides he was starting to get used to it.
"No, I suppose I can't." He stepped out of the embrace and held out a hand for Sirius. "Come on, lets..." he swallowed hard, what he wouldn't give for a stiff drink, "let's talk."
Sirius allowed Severus to lead him to the bed. Sitting back against the headboard, he let out a sigh.
He watched Severus silently as he read the letter.
"Merlin, I hate those spell quills."
"Does that mean you didn't mean all of it?" He started edging away, his mind didn't understand why that thought hurt so much, he'd only just admitted to loving him after all.
A hand curled around his left forearm, stilling his movements.
"No. It doesn't mean that." The tone was firm, each word punctuated with a squeeze of his arm.
"It means that...Merlin I don't know what it means. But not that." Severus closed his eyes tightly, taking a deep breath; this was harder than he thought it would be.
"What do you want from me Bl...Sirius? Because I don't understand how one minute you're cursing my existence and then you're more than a little glad I'm alive." Sirius had been having trouble coming up with an explanation for that as well, but he knew, he'd had time to think it through, and he knew now that he'd always been capable of feeling the way he felt now for the man beside him, he'd just never allowed himself.
Severus continued his voice steady, but no more than a whisper.
"I need to know what you want from this," he waved his arms between them, "from us." Black eyes opened to meet his, and Sirius was taken aback by the intensity of emotions there. He'd never seen Severus's eyes so open before, even in the infirmary, he was enthralled and hardly dared to blink, lest the eyes shutter closed once again.
"I could say that it wouldn't bother me, that I don't care, but I've had enough lies to last me a life-time; a Slytherin sick of lies, I think I must be a walking contradiction." He commented dryly.
They stayed just looking at each other, then for the first time he could remember, Severus looked away first.
While his words swam around his head he watched Severus carefully, the openness of his body and eyes shocked him, but as he sat silently, still processing what was wanted of him, he could see the walls coming up once again. Every passing moment another brick was cemented and placed carefully atop another. It was the hardening of unusually expressive eyes that finally snapped everything into focus.
"Don't!" Severus jumped at the sudden shout, and shocked, stared at him.
"Don't close off. Its just for the first time in all the years I've known you, I finally got to see beneath the armour and I suppose it sort of shocked me."
"Yes most people have that reaction when they suddenly realise I'm human."
"No, it's not that, it's that you're allowing me to see it. To see you, I feel privileged." He smiled mischievously and the tension slowly seeped from the room.
"Hmmm. You should be I don't let just any old mutt into my rooms." The hand that was still attached to Sirius's arm pulled him close, and Sirius found himself enclosed in the protective warmth of Severus's arms, exactly where he wanted to be.
"Sev, I...um...I lo..." Two long fingers cut him off, and a low voice whispered in his ear.
"I know, but don't say it until there's no hesitation, it'll mean more." The voice was soon replaced by a hot tongue.
He arched into the sensation, feeling his body respond instantly; it had been too long, and he wanted Severus so much.
"Mmmm, Sev?" Severus's mouth stopped sucking on the side of his neck.
"Yes?" His voice was low and more seductive than Sirius had imagined, and he had imagined.
"Are you sure you're up to this?" His response came in the form of a growled spell. He shivered as the cold air of the room touched his naked skin.
"I'll take that as a y..." He was cut of by the lips that reattached themselves to his body, moving slowly from his neck to his shoulder blade, Severus's tongue licking every inch of skin it encountered.
"Shut up Black." The words vibrated into his chest as the skilful mouth moved to surround his left nipple. Severus licked around him slowly, with patience he was determined to keep. The licking turned to sucking and Sirius gasped in pleasure as Severus bit down sharply, but with unexpected gentleness.
He repeated it with Sirius's right nipple, before licking his way lower, all the time mapping the prone body beneath him, studying it like a beloved potion, learning all he could. He could hear Sirius's frustration, and could feel it in the harness that pushed against his thigh, but adamant to make this last as long as possible, knowing his recovering muscles would pay for it later, he licked his way down a hip, passed the attention seeking muscle and began nibbling the soft skin of Sirius's inner thigh.
Sirius groaned in a mixture of pleasure and impatience, sending blood straight to Severus's own cock. Clenching his jaw against a moan of his own, he hurriedly moved to the second thigh and after receiving a groan again, he moved his mouth across Sirius's groin, around the patch of wirery black hair and laid a gentle, teasing kiss to the base of the awaiting appendage.
"Now Sev!" A tense growl.
"Demanding aren't we." But he caved and barely whispering an 'accio' he proceeded to draw himself back up the bed, his clothes dissolving off his body as he went, when he reached Sirius's head, a jar landed on the bed with a thump. Turning arousal glazed eyes on Severus, Sirius smiled predatorily when Severus turned onto his stomach; slightly shocked at the trust he was being given. Not wishing to make the other man wait and knowing that he himself couldn't wait much longer, he repositioned himself and began with skilled actions, to pleasure his partner.
Moments later the jar fell to the floor empty, rolling to a stop by the closed door. The room echoed with the sounds of pleasure and fulfilment, as the two men united, only two names filling the room as they tumbled over the edge. The room fell still, the only sound coming from the two wizards as they slept wrapped around each other and the thick castle walls blocked the sounds from the celebrations still taking place.
As predicted, Severus did indeed pay for his night activities, but Sirius was more than happy to take his mind off the aches and pains in his body.
When they finally resurfaced from the dungeons, they were in time for lunch. The hall was already filled, with the end of year growing near, Dumbledore had invited the parents to take their children home if they so wished, but nearly all had declined stating that though there was no threat the children were safest there just in case.
Albus had watched in amazement upon attending the first meal since the attack. Instead of the students separating to their house tables, they had mixed and split more by year than house, with the first and fourth years taking a table, the second and third years taking another, and the fifth through to seventh sharing the remaining tables, while throughout the meals, the students would rise and move to a different table, briefly to engage another in conversation before returning to their own to eat.
There were no more glares of hatred shared between the student body, these children had pulled together to fight a common enemy and ad stayed together through it all. It was what Albus had hoped for every year, and though it was a shame that it had taken a battle to make it occur, it was just another thing that Voldemort had failed to break apart. Thinking of which, the Headmaster broke from his thoughts in time to see the doors open for the only absent wizards.
No one noticed their entrance, and so allowed Severus the time to observe what was occurring, flicking his eyes from table to table, seeing the mixture of badges on their robes, raising confused eyes to the staff table, Albus shrugged his admission that it wasn't his doing.
Harry saw them first, followed expectedly by Ron and Hermione.
"Welcome back, Sir." He approached the two men slowly, a grin spreading across his face.
"Indeed, Mr Potter." He raised an eyebrow elegantly and a sneer threatened to appear. He jumped as a strong arm wrapped itself around his waist, turning in shock and not a little angry at the perceived humiliation of being seen by every student with Sirius wrapped around him, he was met with a smirk.
"Lighten up will you Sev, Voldemorts gone thanks to you and Harry, we're all free, and after all these are all your children." He spoke loudly enough in the know silent hall that even the Professors could hear him, and most of the hall smiled in unison with the animagus.
Severus merely rolled his eyes dramatically but as he moved towards his seat he found it hard to keep a smile from replacing his frown.
"I knew I'd pay for that." And suddenly the smile won.
Well, there you have it. I really hope you enjoyed reading this as much as I did writing it.
I look forward to your comments, and although constructive criticism is welcome, I don't agree with criticism for the sake of it.
That said, please review and let me know what you think.
I'm still developing a sequel for this and hopefully that'll be with you by June (ish).
- Linds -