FW: Ah, my triumphant return!
Kurama: Hardly what I'd call "triumphant".
FW: Beggars can't be choosers. So anyway, I was gone so long because… of summer camp. And I kinda forgot to tell you guys before I left...
Hiei: Two weeks. They went by fast.
FW: Some parts did, other parts… (shudder)
FW: You… actually care?
Hiei: No. We enjoy your suffering.
FW: FINE! I'm not telling you then! (angrily writes chapter) You'll regret this….
Disclaimer: I don't own Yu Yu Hakusho, print shop, or Star Wars
Summary: Kurama's sick of yoai. Together with other Kurama/other boy victims, he's determined to stop the madness. But with all thewriters out there, is it even possible?
"You've got mail!" The annoying computer voice chimed. The genius Kurama was stupid enough to click the little envelope shining on the screen.
Out popped… a picture of himself. With Hiei sitting on his chest. Did I mention Kurama wasn't wearing a shirt?
"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" Daggers slicing into his skin, monsters that shouldn't exist in anything but a child's fairy tale, or watching death in high numbers, didn't faze the fox. Looks like one print-shop image did the job though.
"Mind shutting up? Or at least giving me a warning next time?" Hiei snarled, walking into Kurama's room. It had been raining last night, so he'd decided to spend the night with his friend, much to the house owner's "delight".
"Sorry Hiei, I just wasn't prepared for another," the redhead apologized, still staring fixedly at the screen.
Curious, Hiei stepped a little closer, noting the image as well. "Kurama…" he started.
"Is there something you want to tell me?"
Kurama glared. "Believe it or not, no."
"…Is there something you SHOULD tell me?"
The fox glared more, deleting the picture. "This isn't my work. Someone's sent it to me, again. Apparently, they think it's "cute" and want to "push me in the right direction"," he recited from the last horror he'd received.
"Girls?" Hiei asked, already knowing the answer.
"How do they know about us?" Hiei demanded. "Aren't Spirit Detectives top secret?"
The redhead raised an eyebrow. "You don't know? Look," he gestured behind them, not bothering to look himself. Hiei glanced back and stared at this new target: two humans operating a camcorder. Why two humans were needed was unknown, but it didn't change the fact. One sheepishly waved, while the other saluted, winking.
Disturbed, Hiei turned away. "How long have they been following us?"
Kurama didn't blink, just kept surfing online. "Quite some time, really. We're broadcasted on a TV series too. Yu Yu Hakusho, I think it's called."
"What kind of stupid name is that?"
The fox shrugged, not really interested. "Anyway, they're always there."
"Well, they do sometimes take coffee breaks, and sometimes take time off the watch Star Wars, but for the most part…." He smirked at the slightly freaked out fire demon. "How did you think Koenma keeps track of our lives on his giant TV screens?"
Unfortunately, while the two discussed this, his computer contacted yet another e-mail. This time, it didn't require the pc owner's consent by clicking an envelope, it just opened of its own accord. "You've got porn!" It announced as a more… revealing photo of the two jumped on screen.
"We've really got to do something about this," a new voice chimed, from behind the gaping friends.
"KURONUE!" Kurama yelled, jumped out of his seat and falling ever so "gracefully" onto the carpet.
The chimera grinned at the reaction. "Surprised?"
"That's an understatement," the demon-human regained his composure. "Considering you're dead."
Kuronue waved off the remark. "You should know by now no one stays dead in this series." He did have a point. Yusuke, Genkai, Kurama (sort of), Yusuke…. Kurama shook his head, deciding to just accept it and save everyone some trouble.
Moving on, Kuronue added, "Oh, right, I almost forgot. On the way, I found someone else who said he was tired of being paired with you, er, no offence, or anything," he added.
"None taken," Kurama assured him. "Who is it?"
"I would have thought you'd remember, my dear…" another familiar voice chimed, from directly above Kurama's head. Glancing up, the fox soon wished he didn't, as Karasu let go of his hold on the ceiling, and fell directly on top of Kurama.
Needless to say, Kurama wasn't thrilled, and started madly struggling underneath the crow, powers momentarily forgotten.
Hiei unsheathed his sword, and was at the redhead's aid in a second, Karasu only having enough time to dodge. The cost came in the form of having to move off the fox.
"Bad idea?" Kuronue sweat dropped, referring to his bringing the dark demon.
"Another understatement," Kurama muttered.
"What do you want?" Hiei demanded now, of both of them.
"The same you want," Karasu started.
"To save our good names, and stop being thought of as gay Kurama lovers!" Kuronue finished.
Kurama looked at Karasu, not fully understanding. "But you are gay."
"Why are you really here?" Kurama asked, knowing full well the answer…
"To stalk you."
The redhead groaned. The price of always being right….
"It does seem like a decent plan, stopping all this "yoai", they call it," Kurama thought out loud, considering. He made up his mind. "I'll assist you."
Kuronue nodded, grinning. "Obviously, I'm in."
Karasu, still looking at Kurama, added, "I'll join your cause, also."
"Because you'll be in it." Kurama really wished he could keep his mouth shut.
The three turned to the last demon: Hiei. "Do you really expect me to join your cult?" He asked, annoyed at the very idea.
Smirking evilly, Kurama said, "So you enjoy being paired with me all these times? Actually, I think I've seen you with Yusuke before, and even," he paused for drama, "Kuwabara."
That did it. "Fine."
Typing quickly, Kurama wrote up a sort of contract for the new members, naming themselves "The Yaoi Fighters".
They all signed it, with Hiei's comment of how stupid the name was.
Karasu took the paper last. "Astonishing…" he murmured.
"What?" Kuronue asked, looking over his shoulder.
"You spelled your own name wrong," Karasu said, looking down at the misspelled word.
"What?" Kuronue grabbed the paper. "No, you just can't read, you stupid bat!"
Hiei raised an eyebrow. "Aren't YOU the bat?"
"Well what're you supposed to be?" The bat asked, defensive. "We've got a bat, a fox, a crow, and, what, a monkey?"
Kurama looked around at the misfits gathered and arguing in his room. "What have I just signed up for?"
END CHAPTER 1
FW: Well, as with all my works, hopefully it'll get better.
Yusuke: But don't get your hopes up, because it probably won't.
FW: Yeah, I know. Anyway, I have NOTHING against gays/bis/lesbians, I've got close friends who are. And I have NOTHING against people who write/read yoai. If you're going to flame me for what I'm writing, have fun, but I hope you read this thing here first.
Kuwabara: Are me and Urameshi gonna be in this at all?
FW: No clue. I have no idea what my next chapters'll be. Hopefully, it'll come to me….
Kuronue: But it probably won't.
FW: That's about it. So anyway, review if you want, don't if you don't. If you want to flame, ok. Have the guts to write your penname though, will ya? Anyways, if you do flame, I'll take it in stride!