Postcard From California
Disclaimer: Don't own anything.
Post-Season 2 Finale
Song: Rob Thomas "This Is How a Heart Breaks"
A/N: This is the last installment for this fiction. The feminist in me spoke out here. I hope you Brooke fans enjoy.
Don't you wanna go for a ride
Just keep your hands inside
And make the most out of life
Now don't you take it for granted
Brooke lay in bed staring at the ceiling. She'd have to be up and about in 5 hours and sleep was just not coming to her. Logically she should have been snoring away, having been on a long flight back from California and jet lag nagging at her ever since she got home, but sleep was elusive and even though at times she wasn't so bright she knew exactly what was stopping her from much needed sleep.
How could they, she thought, surprised that she was not at all, well surprised by their actions. She had been weary of leaving them alone together but considered the possibility of them hooking up completely implausible due to circumstances but now that she thought it about it, it made perfect sense. They had a history and both with broken hearts, deserted by their significant others…
Wait! Was it her fault then?
Brooke let out a suppressed yawn and rolled over, what she needed was a cigarette. Yes a nasty habit she picked up in sunny California but nonetheless her craving didn't stay on the West coast, it followed her viciously home and now she couldn't get rid of the addiction no matter how hard she tried.
Life is like a mean machine
It made a mess outta me
It left me caught between
Like an angry dream I was stranded
Yes, okay she hadn't been back home for a day until her craving kicked in but hey, she was young her lungs were strong, and that mentality hadn't led her far in life but she decided to wing it. Lungs be damned.
"Where are my cancer sticks?" She asked herself out loud and got the answer when Zoë rose from her position by Brooke's feet and growled surprisingly in a ladylike manner even though it was obvious the sensitive pooch was against this nasty habit of Brooke's.
"Be quite, you sniff other doggies' butts." Brooke huffed quite immaturely in response and got out of her warm bed and walked to her desk, taking out a Menthol Capri from her bag. She fished around for a lighter and walked to the window, wrapping a warm duvet over her body as the cold air assaulted her.
She thought about how simpler things were before the Scott brothers entered her and Peyt's life, and how un-drama filled it was. How the only important things/people in her life were clothes, cheerleading and Peyton. Nothing else mattered, but for the life of her she couldn't remember feeling as exhilarating and happy with life as she was when Lucas Scott first poked his pretty blond head into the gymnasium and became the prime target for her foolish games. The same ones that cost Peyton so much pain and now in an unlikely turn of events were causing her, for the second time, eating slowly away at her.
And I'm steady but I'm starting to shake
And I don't know how much more I can take
God she needed a shot of vodka. Yes it wouldn't solve anything, the rational part of her said, but the Brooke part of her said to go and get shit faced, the world could wait another day for Brooke Davis to appear.
She stubbed out the cigarette and took off the duvet, opening her closet. Hmmm…
"So Zoe, what will be the best way to score an easy lay: the new Gucci suede pink miniskirt from Horn boutique, or the leather trousers from Armani?" She asked the blonde pooch jokingly of course, and yet a part of her wondered if she still had it in her.
Of course she did, and she looked at the phone as she decided on the suede miniskirt. There was only one thing missing from her perfect concoction.
Maybe she could call her, maybe they could swap makeup tips and gush over pathetic pick up lines.
Brooke was two steps away from the phone but a soft bark from her only friend stopped her.
She smiled at the devoted pup.
"You really are a man's best friend. Thanks Chiquita." She scratched the puppy affectionately behind its' ears.
"Talking to yourself I see." A voice interrupted her exchange.
Brooke turned around in complete shock to see the person she was hesitating to call standing outside her window.
"Yeah, I guess I'm running out of friends lately, can you blame me?" Brooke asked curtly, and Peyton felt the rush of frost settle between them.
Don't you wanna go for a ride
Down to the other side
Feels so good you could cry
Now won't you do what I told you
I remember when you used to be shy
Yeah, once we were so fine
You and I why you gotta make it so hard on me
Peyton shoved her hands in her leather jacket, not willing to step over the sill into Brooke's domain, "I guess I deserved that too." She implied.
Brooke looked down, a little ashamed of her dry sarcasm but as soon as Peyton looked at her, Brooke's façade came up again. There was never a shield between the two friends, now Brooke had no choice, the trust disseminated and couldn't be brought back again unless like Moses Peyt spread the red sea for her, or something.
Hell, she wasn't even Jewish and she was searching for references like that. Get off your high horse, Brooke, it was bound to happen, you were too busy getting drunk and buying too much clothes to call and see how your friend was. It's your fault too; you deserved them both in their greatest time of need.
"Have you been smoking here?" Peyton sniffed suspiciously.
Brooke's eyes narrowed, wondering why her best- ex best friend even cared, "We all picked up a few nasty habits over the summer."
Ouch, strike 2.
You're not the best thing that I knew
Never was never cared too much
For all this hanging around
It's just the same thing all the time
Never get what I want
Never get too close to the end of the line
You're just the same thing that I knew back before the time
When I was only for you
"Look Brooke I'm sorry, I know it doesn't help but I am as much as I'll ever be, but Lucas was there for me, and perhaps not in the same way that I had hoped he would be but he was nonetheless and I sought comfort in him because no one else was around, vise versa for him. Can't we just chalk it up to that and that's all?"
"How dare you say that to me?" Brooke dropped the suede on the floor, stepping over it vehemently.
"Because I have nothing else to say, nothing will make this better but we need to try."
"No!" Brooke came closer to the window, her hand on the sliding door, "We don't have to try anything. We weren't the ones who fucked up. There is another 'we' that should go and fix this, but I'm done, I'm sick of it. For your sake I didn't say anything in front of Luke today about you, so your perfect boyfriend wouldn't consider you a backstabber, which he is as well. Peyton I love you but I just can't deal with this right now. You know as the old saying goes, you fool me once shame on you, you fool me twice shame on me. I can't be shamed in front of you. Not anymore you broke that trust when you slept with Lucas, and now you gotta lie in the bed you made." Brooke let the sliding door close and almost symbolically draw a glass separation between herself and Peyton.
She shut off the lights, ignoring the knocking on her window and Zoe's frantic growling at the imposter. Suddenly her thirst to reacquaint herself with her past habits was quenched.
She didn't want meaningless hook ups or alcohol induced fun. She wanted something that would last and today was the beginning of the rest of her life.
The good one anyway.
This is it now
Everybody get down
This is all I can take
This is how a heart breaks
You take a hit now you feel it break down
Make you stay wide awake
This is how a heart breaks