Saint H's Ego Boosting Author's Notes:
Well, here's a new story, called Interlude. The concept, I am afraid to say, is not all that original. The basis of this story is the things the Titans do during commercial breaks and between episodes that we don't see. Now, this has been done in the past, yes. So you're asking yourself, 'Gee willikers St. H, why should I read this then?' Well, ya see readers, it's simple really, because I'm telling you to. And I turned 16 today, which makes me better than you, tch, like I wasn't better than you already! (H loses 20 life for being lame)
Disclaimer: H owns nothing, absolutely nothing.
Nothing: He don't own me byzotch!
Absolutely Nothing: Yea, me neither!
Just so you know, the fourth wall won't be broken in this story. I.E. the Titans don't know that it's a T.V. show. Think of these as sort of 'deleted scenes'.Chapter 1 Apprentice Parts 1 and 2
"That Chronoton detonator could stop time altogether!" Robin said in shock.
"Stop time? Like for how long?" Beast Boy asked.
"God you're a dumbass." Raven moaned.
"Please Raven, my ass is not cognizant at all, does that also make me a 'dumbass'."
"Guys, we need to stop talking and we need to start finding that detonator." Cyborg roared.
"Cy's right, spread out and search the area! Titans, Go!" Robin commanded.
Cyborg was cruising around JC, searching for fly hunnies and pretending to look for the detonator.
He sang to himself while he watched for chicks.
I'm Cy and I'm sexy,
My wang is thicker than ya torso,
And it is longer spine,
All the chicks they wish that they could have my dick,
Sorry hunnies, it be mine!
Break Down Now!
Wicka wa-wicka wicka wicka wa-wicka wick
Whoppa whoppa wip wip wow!
OOO, Ooo! GO CY! Yea!" he sighed with content as he ended his lyrical rhymes. "I love doing that."
A slow clap came from the back of the T-Car.
Cy's human eye widened as he turned his head to see…
(the suspense is killing me here!)
(or maybe it's the boredom)
"R-Robin! What are you doing here?"
"I knew you'd just go out and try to find some action again, so I decided to stow away until I could catch you." Robin said cleverly.
"Why Robin, whatever do you mean." Cyborg asked, trying to appear innocent.
"Everyone knows that you have at least 58 illegitimate children in the South East section of Jump City alone Cyborg."
"Look, just help us find the detonator!" Robin said as he fired a grappling hook out of the sunroof and disappeared into the night.
"That little STD, I'll get my revenge on him for always pushing me around!"
Slade sat on his Evil Concrete Throne of Absolute Misery and Peril ™ and watched his screens as they monitored the Titan's every move… s. Soon his butler/manservant, Wintergreen, came up and poured him a cup of tea, "How goes the Evil plans, Sir?"
"Wonderful Wintergreen, simply wonderful. Soon Robin will be my apprentice, and then Jump City will bow before the awesome power of Slade! Muwahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!" Slade laughed maniacally.
A white ball of fuzz off in some dark corner of the lab let out a shriek and darted underneath a turning gear.
Slade's one lonely eye quickly found the creature he cooed out of his Breathing Slits of Absolute Misery and Peril ™ and began to speak in a soft voice, "Aw, what'sa matter Pussy? Did the mean old maniacal laughing scare you? Come on out! Come on out!"
A small, fuzzy white head poked itself out from underneath the large machinery. A small white kitten then bounded over adorably to the super-villain and jumped into his lap.
"That'sa gooood Pussy." Slade baby-talked as he petted the creature. He brought the kitten up to his mask and rubbed noses with it, "Who's got the sweetest little pussy in the whole wide world? I do! That's right! Slade's got the sweetest little pussy in the whole wide world! Yeaaaaa! Good Pussy!"
"Um, Sir, the Titans are approaching the fake detonator." Wintergreen informed.
"Dammit Winterfresh can't you see I'm busy with important things!" Slade let out a sigh and scooted the kitten off his lap. "Very well. Let us see how they perform."
The Titans were walking down the cold corridor.
Suddenly and for no apparent reason Cinderblock busted thru a nearby wall and began to attack our heroes. Robin, being the badass that he canonically is, decided to fight the creature by himself.
"Go stop the detonator, I'll take care of this." Robin said to his teammates.
The other Titans did so.
"Alright Cinderblock, it's time we got this shyt started!" The two flew at eachother and began to pummel one another with viciously vicious attacks of viciousness.
"You're going down Cinderblock!" Robin growled.
"Ugh!" Cinderblock responded.
Robin dove kamikaze at Cinderblock, tackling him by some miracle. The two roll across the floor and soon they hit the side-wall. Robin was on top of Cinderblock, and he was angry.
"Okay Cinderblock, start talking, where the hell is Slade?"
Cinderblock stared up at Robin for a moment, a look of befuddlement on his big concrete face. Soon little hearts materialized around his head and he cooed while gazing dreamily up at the Boy Wonder's face.
"Gruuugh groogrug!" He flirted.
"W-what is going on here? ACK!" Robin shouted as Cinderblocks massive concrete arms pull him down to the behemoth who graced the Boy Wonder with a big wet gay cement kiss on the lips.
A look of mortification crossed Robins features as he struggled helplessly to escape from the gay mutant.
When Cinderblock finally pulled his mouth away from his he shouted, "Help! I need an adult! Rape! I need an adult! Raaaape!"
Robin was now caught ass deep in Slade's trap. He was the villains apprentice, and he was royally pissed. He was at the foot of the Evil Concrete Throne of Absolute Misery and Peril ™ awaiting the Crime Lord's precense. Slade was now 30 minutes late, and Robin was getting impatient.
'Maybe he fell off a cliff and died on impact.' Robin thought gleefully, 'Or maybe he got caught in one of those big gears and was crushed in a bloody doom!'
"Sorry I'm late Apprentice." Slade said as he suddenly appeared on the Evil Concrete Throne of Absolute Misery and Peril ™.
'Dammit!' "What kept you so long?" Robin questioned agitatedly.
"If you must know Robin, I was playing with my Pussy. Like it's any of your business." Slade said non-chalantly.
A look of nausea and disgustion crept it's way onto Robin's face.
The whole ordeal was over. Slade was defeated. Raven was meditating on the roof, Robin and Starfire were running the bases in Robin's Room, and Cyborg and Beast Boy were up to no good as usual.
"I am so going to get revenge on that little STD…" Cyborg mumbled evilly, "Alright BB, is the camera on?" Cy asks as a home video focuses in on his figure.
"Yea dude!" is heard in the background.
"Alright then. Robin?" Cy brings his right hand up, which has a crude puppet of the Boy Wonder on it, "Do you like Homosexuals?"
Cyborg speaks out of the side of his mouth in a high pitched voice, "Why, yes Cyborg. I most certainly do!"
"Well Mr. Robin with the eyemask, tell us about that time you were up at Rick's and... that guy Slade came up to you and he was like, "Hey, I'm Slade and I like little boys with eyemasks."
"Oh yes, I remember that. And then I was like, "Ooo baby-baby, I gonna touch, yo penis tonight!"
"Well that's cause I'm Slade, and the boys like to touch my penis!"
"I've had many encounters to speak of with homoeroticism!"
"Yea I betcha have faggot."
"Faggity-fag McFlex Deluxe!"
"And so people of the world, that's what happened in the Titan's latest adventure." Cyborg said directly to the camera.
Cyborg gave Beast Boy the 'cut' signal.
"So, didja get it?" Cyborg asked eagerly.
"Totally dude, every bit of it!' the changeling laughed maniacally.
The two friends then used the Titan Computer to get the video up on the Internet where it was then downloaded by millions and millions of people around the world.
Saint H's Author's Notes of Sexiful Electric Master-God Proportions:
Well, there's the first chapter. If you have an episode you'd especially like me to do just mention it in your review. Chances are it'll get done sooner or later. Anyway, drop a review and tell me what you think of it. Good night. (I'm 16 byzotches! Woohoo!)