Disclaimer: The author owns precisely zero point zero zero percent of the copyright to Shaman King. All torture and abuse of small, innocent, adorable baby animals was done with special effects for humor purposes. No actual animals were harmed in the making of this fic… Well, at least not badly enough to cause concern, contrary to very strong evidence. For lawyers who wish to know about suing the author, please refer to the disclaimer for Chapter Two for information. All characters in this story have given their consent, willingly or not, to be laughed at and humiliated on a regular basis. All flamers will be fed—Er, ignore that, all flames will be fed to the Spirit of Fire. The author would also like to note that he derives great amusement from flames that are poorly written, have bad spelling and punctuation, and/or say the story is bad for reasons like 'Yoh is too good looking for Jeanne!', and will be posting them on a forum system he belongs to so everybody there can laugh at them too. Lawyers smell.


Chapter 3 - If you can read this chapter title, you don't need your eyes checked

It was almost midnight. In the main hallway of Ryu Dorm, a door creaked open. It was the main door, the one that led out onto the moldy-fish scented grounds of the school, and as it opened two figures silently walked into the building.

"Who the heck are you?" Hao asked, flicking on the light-switch. The female of the group jumped in shocked; the male didn't seem particularly fazed. "It's almost midnight, you're not residents of this dorm, and…" he trailed off as the male put a letter into his hands. "…Oh." Hao said, looking up. "About time you got here; it's been annoying having to stop Pip and Dark by myself so much. Your rooms are on the third floor; left side of the hall as you go towards the ladder leading to Jeanne's room, which is in the attic."

"Yeah, whatever." The boy said, shrugging. "Doesn't really matter to me all that much." He quietly moved upstairs, escorting the girl who was with him. Hao smiled thinly. When Pip and Dark found out about this, they were going to go absolutely nuts. He could hardly wait to watch. Chuckling, the dictatorial ruler of Ryu Dorm snuck back into his room to go back to sleep after flicking the lights off again.

The next morning, Jeanne quietly woke up and yawned, glad that she'd gotten a good night's sleep. After a few moments of staring blankly, she got up and put on her school uniform.

"Hey, you!" Smiley said, immediately zooming up to her. "What's with that chick on the third floor?" Jeanne blinked, not quite comprehending. First of all, as far as she remembered, Yoh was the only person on the third floor. And second, she was only half awake. "Are you listening to me? She's got some sorta barrier around her; I can't even touch her!"

"Why would you want to?" Jeanne asked, wondering why she had to be bothered so early. "Make yourself useful; go get me breakfast." Smiley stuck his tongue out at her, but did as she asked. He wanted information, he wanted it now, and he wasn't going to leave the girl alone until he got it.

"Stupid shamans…" the ghost muttered. There was a scream of rage from below.

"YOU HAVE GOT TO BE KIDDING!" Pip shrieked. Jeanne quietly moved over to the trapdoor and opened it so she could look into the hall and see what was happening. All of the residents of Ryu Dorm except her were standing in the hallway, clustered around a girl with long blue hair and six white, angelic wings coming out of her back. It took almost ten seconds for Jeanne to notice the boy right next to her; with brown hair and hazel eyes, he didn't really stick out.

"Pip!" Hao said warningly.


"That's enough!" the unimposing boy snapped, one of his hands moving towards his back where, Jeanne noticed, a pair of swords had been strapped to. "If you've got a problem, then just say it. Stop acting stupid by screaming and acting all indignant. And there's no point in yelling at the Dorm's manager; he has no control of who's assigned to what dorm." There was an almost three instant pause before Pip began throwing things at an almost unbelievable rate towards the girl. The objects included, but were not limited to, several kitchen knives, ten eggs, fourteen small demons, Tai and Cchi, a gold club, and a dirty pair of Hao's boxers. Each object, to the girl's luck, missed. It was either that or the fact that Pip could not throw things especially well.

"…Care Bears?" Yoh asked, edging away from his brother as he looked at the print on the boxers.

"SHUT IT!" Hao snapped, incinerating the garments. "Pip, Dark, go back to the basement. I assigned them to this floor because it's as far away from you as possible. You should be thankful that I'm so considerate. Tai, Cchi, don't bother trying anything funny; it's not going to work. As a matter of fact, you can all head back to your rooms; except for my brother and Jeanne up there." Jeanne blinked. Hao hadn't even turned around to look at her. However, both the angelic girl and the sword-wielding boy did.

"…Huh." The boy said, leaning against the wall. "Well, that was an interesting reception." The girl nodded and clung closely to him, looking nervous. "What're you nervous for? You of all people shouldn't be scared of anything…" the girl just stayed where she was.

"Yoh, you get to show these two around along with Jeanne. Don't worry about Arc's safety; she's the Great Spirit's granddaughter—" both Jeanne and Yoh choked. "—And he gave her pretty much unlimited protection from just about everything. Kai here is her fiancée, so I'd suggest being doubly nice to him, too." Yoh raised an eyebrow.

"Accident." Kai said, shrugging. "I wandered into her rooms by accident when I was trying to escape somebody, and there was this prophecy that said the first male she saw she would marry, so…" he trailed off. "It's old history now anyways." He looked at the girl beside him and smiled fondly. "Arc, you should go get changed. As I recall, you had to get a specially designed uniform to accommodate your wings, and it takes a bit longer to put on." The girl nodded and moved back into her room. Jeanne quietly moved down her ladder and into the hallway.

"She's… very quiet." The girl observed. Kai chuckled. "What's so funny?"

"Well, she's not allowed to talk to anybody but me." He said, smiling. "Even when somebody else might overhear. So, for all intents and purposes, she's mute." Hao quietly moved downstairs. "It's funny, though, because even though she can't talk, I can usually understand what she's thinking. And she'll do anything for me."

"Anything?" Yoh asked, raising an eyebrow. Kai nodded.

"I didn't think she was serious, at first, when she told me." The boy said reminiscently. "So when I told her to strip, I was pretty shocked when she actually started doing it." Jeanne blushed. "I stopped her, though, and from that moment on I knew she was serious about wanting to make herself useful. That's big with her; she tries as hard as she can to make herself useful. Arc is a little ditzy sometimes, cares too much about the most irrelevant things, is consistently clumsy, rarely stops to think about the consequences of her actions, and gets me in a load of trouble." The boy chuckled again. "But she tries, and that's why I like her." Jeanne smiled slightly, having by now figured out the two's relationship.

"Well, I'm going to go finish breakfast." The girl said, starting to climb up the ladder. After a moment, she paused, looked around, then grabbed Smiley and threw him into her room. "You're not getting me that easily!" the girl yelled, hurrying up the ladder. Yoh and Kai shrugged, and both went into their own rooms to change.

About ten minutes later, a group of four was walking on the school grounds. Yoh and Jeanne were listening to Kai recount a story of how a single coin dropped to the ground had caused his entire nation to become dedicated anime fanatics, something he called a 'Butterfly Effect', while Arc was just quietly walking beside the boy. After a moment, the winged girl quietly tugged on Kai's sleeve.

"Hm?" the boy asked, looking over at her. "Is something wrong?" Arc nodded and pointed. On the other side of the school, a massive dimensional warp had appeared. "Oh… That can't be good."

"Um, yeah…" Jeanne said, looking nervous. There was a blast of sound a split instant before a robot tumbled out of the warp. It was nothing like what anybody had been expecting; it was large, blue, and had a red car instead of a head. "Er… What is that?"

"…It's a giant robot." Yoh replied, blinking. "We should probably get rid of it before it… uh… destroys the school."

"That would be a bad thing?" Jeanne asked.

"…Point." Yoh agreed, chuckling. Meanwhile, the robot began firing explosives at the most innocent of the school's fields. "Eh. Let it blow them up." Yoh said dismissively as fireballs blossomed radiantly. Jeanne put on her sunglasses. Laughing, Yoh led the others into the school. "By the way… Have you two heard the legend of this school?"

"Which one?" Kai asked. Yoh nodded, knowing he had a point.

"Well, there's this legend that came around about this ferocious demon who lives deep inside the school. And it comes out at night to wreak havoc on anybody still in the school. I personally think it was Pip's doing, but…" Yoh said, trailing off. "That's not the creepy part, though. The creepy part is that none of the usual banishment spells work on it. It just sits inside the school, ready to lash out at the weak." Jeanne smiled slightly.

"Sounds like something just up my alley." The girl said cheerfully.

Some distance away, Hao quietly stepped into the Counselor's Office.

"Well, well, it's unusual to see you in here, Mr. Asakura." Destiny said, smiling brilliantly as she saw who it was. "What can I do for you?"

"There's something I want you to do to my dear brother, Yoh." Hao said, smiling viciously. He whispered something into Destiny's ear. The counselor laughed and nodded.

"I can do that." She said. "And I think it will be most amusing." Humming merrily, she reached into mid-air and pulled a few strings. "I hope this helps…"

That night, Jeanne quietly crept out of bed and moved towards the school. If there was really a demon haunting the school, she felt it was her duty to get rid of it. It didn't take very long for the cries to begin echoing through the halls once Jeanne entered the school.

"Wow, this really is kind of creepy…" she whispered, using Smiley as a light.

"This is really embarrassing…" the ghost muttered.

"Oh, be quiet. I know you're just as eager to see this demon as I am." Jeanne replied. Smiley didn't dispute her words, and shined a little brighter as a sudden loud cry could be heard. An instant later, a wave of malice flowed through the girl. "Wow… This demon is angry…"

"Maybe… Maybe we should go back…" Smiley whispered, physically reeling from the effects of the wave. The cries changed, becoming angrier. "Um… We should stay here?" the cries went back to their normal, emotionless state. Smiley eyes Jeanne. "I, uh, guess we'll be staying, then." Jeanne pat the ghost on the head.

"Of course we are. We're staying until we find that demon." She said, bending down to examine the door to the basement. She held her skirt down with her spare hand.

"Oh, come on… Even I'm not in the mood to embarrass you right now. Besides, I don't have a new camera, and there's nobody here besides you, me, and… uh…"

"Uh what?" Jeanne asked, wondering if she could pick the lock and if that was the right thing to do.

"Uh, about two hundred pairs of glowing blue eyes…" Smiley squeaked out. Jeanne whirled around and found that indeed, there were nearly two hundred human-sized blue demons sitting there watching her.

"I'm not bothering you." The girl told one sharply as it advanced. "I'm looking for the source of these cries." Another cry echoed through the halls. The demons advanced upon her. "Now, really. I am a Shaman, skilled in the arts of binding and banishing. We are all very well aware of the fact that I could send you all on quite easily, so please just leave me alone." The demons continued advancing. Sighing, Jeanne conjured up an orb of light. "I did try to warn you." she said, throwing it at the foremost demon. It didn't blink as the attack hit it, nor did it disappear. "Uh-oh…"

"Now we're in for it." Smiley said, sounding even more afraid then before. "Uh, I'm out of here!" Jeanne grabbed him before he could zoom off.

"Go get Yoh and Hao!" the girl instructed. "They should be able to help me out!" she released the ghost, and watched as he flew off. She then stepped backwards as the demons continued their advance, and swallowed nervously. Keeping her wits very close by, the girl conjured up a barrier field to stop them. They walked straight through it. "Okay, this is looking very bad…" the girl muttered, trying several more barriers. None of them worked. Jeanne thought for a moment, then etched a rune in the air and shot it towards the lead demon. It brushed it aside without flinching.

A moment later, a bolt of darkness shot from behind the girl to strike the demon. It vanished instantly. What followed was a barrage of bolts, each striking one demon, and in less then half a minute they were all gone. Jeanne whirled around.

"Than-" she began. Right behind her was a pair of red eyes. Eyes that had vertical slits. Their owner blinked, then vanished. "Who… Who was that?" the girl asked. Yoh and Hao ran into the hall a moment later, each having their spirit's Over Soul in the form of a very powerful, very deadly sword.

"Where're the demons?" Hao asked, gazing around.

"Somebody else took care of them…" Jeanne replied quietly. "I don't know who." Hao nodded and let his sword vanish. Yoh did the same a moment later. "Hey… Those cries have stopped." Smiley shot out of nowhere and lifted the front of the girl's skirt. "HEY!"

Hao grabbed the ghost.

"Not when I'm around." He said, shaking it back and forth.

"Y-yes, sir!" Smiley said, vanishing as soon as he was freed. The hall lights flickered on a moment later.

"What're you kids doing here?" an older man yelled. All three kids stiffened and turned around to face the janitor.

"Ah, I was leading this new student on a tour of the school." Hao said.

"Your lies might work on others, but I'm not fooled!" the janitor replied. "You kids are coming with me, and you're going to wait in the office. You'll be lucky if you're not expelled!" he pulled out some rope to bind their hands with.

"That won't be necessary." A voice hisses from the shadows. "I called them here on purpose, and none of them did anything wrong. You will forget all about this and leave." The janitor's eyes clouded.

"I didn't see anybody…" he mumbled, walking unsteadily off. The red eyes tuned to face Jeanne, Yoh, and Hao.

"Girl, you should watch yourself when you're around here at night." A hand reached out of the shadows, revealing black skin. It was not the brown, earthy color most people thought of as 'black'. It was jet black, the sort of black that could only be darker if it was Dark Black. The hand gripped Jeanne's chin firmly, but not painfully. "I cannot be everywhere at once, and will not always be here to help you. It will be best if you simply stay in bed at night instead of wandering around." The hand retreated as the figure vanished once more. Jeanne swallowed nervously.

"Um… Let's do as he says, and get back to bed." She said, smiling. "I'm sorry for waking you up."

"No problem." Yoh replied, steering her out of the building. "If you hadn't been rescued, we'd've been needed, so it's all cool."

"Speak for yourself." Hao replied, snorting.


Well, today was very interesting. I met some new people, including the Great Spirit's granddaughter! She's quiet, but I think she's trustworthy. Kai is pretty cool, too, but he's taken, so definitely not boyfriend material.

Yoh was really helpful today, and he told me all these stories about the school. So I decided to investigate one of them, and wound up confronted by about two hundred demons that were immune to my shamanic powers! It was so bizarre. Anyways, this mysterious figure saved me for some reason. He said he wouldn't always be around to protect me… I wonder what that's all about.

Well, it's really late, so I'm going to get to sleep now. And I don't want Smiley causing any more problems.

Cheers! Jeanne


Butterfly Effect: A series of improbable events starting from something small, like a butterfly flapping its wings, and ending major, like an earthquake destroying China. Possible, but highly unlikely.

Post-chapter disclaimer: Hao does not actually own Care Bears boxers. The author inserted them as a joke, and is paying for this with severe burns all over his body. Lawyers smell.

Meh. Short chapter. I promise the next one will be longer.

Next time on Twists of Fate: Jeanne makes a new friend; a boy who seems to know about her midnight expedition into the school. Some of Jeanne's dorm mates cause havoc and force her to walk around in her underwear! And who's this imposing man here for a visit? Oh, you're joking, right? YOU'RE NOT? The King of Spirits himself is here for a visit?