By Adrian Tullberg.

"Doctor! There's an owl in here!"

"I know! It just flew inside when I popped out in the seventies to get some teabags, and I haven't been able to get rid of it! At least it got rid of the mice though ..."

"Mice? We have mice?"

"Had. Past tense."

"I hate people who do that."

"Do what?"

"Tell me that I'm saying things wrong."

"You must hate a lot of people then."

"And guess who's on top of the list ... ah! Got him!"

"Or her."

"Shut it. What's this on it's leg?"

"Can't say. I'm supposed to be shutting it."

"Smartarse. Looks like some kind of note ... it's a letter."

"What's it say?"

" ...'Dear Mr. David Brent. You have been accepted with full scholarship to Hogwarts Academy ...' and the rest has been covered in owl poo ..."