Willy Wakka and the Blitzball Factory
Disclaimer:We do not own FFX, FFX-2 or Charlie and the Chocolate Factory. We do own Willy Wakka.
SPOILERS! Rated T for underage drinking and murder...kinda. And suicide and suggestive themes. Rikku bashing in this chapter, sorry, its just so much fun.
Chapter 1: Chapter 5 Complete!
Yuna, Rikku, and Paine are on the airship. Yuna is having fun riding on the back of the airship. They were celebrating their victory over the destructive machina, Vegnagun. They were caught up in the moment and had a few too many alcoholic beverages. In other words they were wasted. Paine in a drunken stupor says, "You know what guys, cuz you guys are some hot guys. And I think I'm gonna go jump off. See ya guys later." Rikku and Yuna being drunken don't realize Paine's suicidal remark. Paine flings out her arms and says, "I can fly!" And Yuna was like, "OMY, that's my line!" (Oh my Yevon) She takes her beer bottle and lazily chucks it at Paine. Paine, from the knock of the beer bottle falls off and screams, " WHEEEE!"
Yuna and Rikku were wasted and didn't realize that Paine fell off and decided to go back inside. Yuna and Rikku being the 'bestest' of cousins decide to sleep in the same bed. (They're NOT lesbians so stop thinking it!) So as they sleep Rikku has a dream.
The YRP gang is flying on the airship, much like they were this night, except they weren't drunk and Paine didn't fall off. As they fly by, they notice a giganto sign in the sky. Yuna screams at it, "what the-?" Paine, being her sadistic self remarked, "It says 'Chapter 5 Complete!' duh! Wait, why does it say-" Rikku jumped up and down excitedly, "I know, I know, it's cause we defeated Vegnagun." Yuna and Paine looked at Rikku, wondering how she came up with an actual idea, and one that made sense.
Rikku wakes up, screaming at the nightmare. I mean, being smart is not something Rikku should be. She shakes her 'bestest' cousin, Yuna, because she seemed to be having a nightmare as well. Yuna shot her head up and whacked Rikku. She turned her head, looking for her Al Bhed cousin. "Oops," she said as she realized she knocked her off the bed. "Sorry."
Rikku got up, trying not to get mad at Yuna. "I had a nightmare, Yunie, and it was scary!" Yuna tried to comfort her younger cousin. She asked her what the dream was about, and Rikku went on to tell her the dream. Yuna gasped and whacked Rikku off again. "OMY! I HAD THE EXACT SAME DREAM, TOO!" Rikku was confused and then shouted, "We must be like psychic or something, since we had the same dream. Maybe it was that bed?" Rikku pointed eeiringly at the bed, as if it was haunted. Yuna shrugged her shoulders and the loud speaker sounded.
"Yuna, Rikku, Paine... report to the bridge, PRONTO!" said Brother in his amateur English voice. The two cousins went and totally forgot that Paine wasn't with them.
When they got to the bridge, Brother told them the situation. "Look!" Brother was pointing out the window. Yuna and Rikku went to the wall to see what it was. They turned around, their faces grim as if they had seen a ghost. The cousins whispered to each other and then Rikku smiled and clapped her hands. Brother was confused and cocked his head, "What?"
Rikku began hysterically giggling and couldn't stop. Yuna decided to fill poor Brother in. "We've already seen it Brother. We saw it in a dream." she giggled, not sure whether he would understand. He flopped over, passing out from the shock. Rikku stopped and stared at him. "He'll be okay," Shinra responded.
Buddy was still confused and asked them to fill him in. Yuna decided to. "We," pointing to herself and Rikku, "had the same dream. In it, we saw this exact same sign, the red one that reads, 'Chapter Five Complete!'".
"Alright, that make sense... kinda," Buddy remarked still being weirded out by their "psychic" abilities. "But why is there just infinite darkness after the sign?" They all looked at Shinra, waiting for an answer. He just said his famous line, "I'm just a kid."
Brother shot up and shouted his order, "Let's go through!" He then immediately fell back over and continued his nap. The four of them looked at Brother with dropped jaws. "Well, the leader gave us an order, right?"
They went back totheir stations, ready to go through. Shinra muttered to himself, "I hate them all, these stupid imbeciles." He got down from his chair and took the elevator up to the deck. The three Gullwings looked out the window, trying to see what Shinra was doing. Suddenly, they heard a faint yell and saw a small beige colored body fall down off the deck, and into the sky. He kept falling, and they watched him until he was no longer visible.
"I suppose he couldn't stand the separation with Paine." Yuna and Rikku looked at Buddy. "He liked Paine, you didn't know?" They shook their heads. 'That little runt liked Paine! But why?' They gave up trying to solve this "mystery" and went to go steer the Celsius into the black abyss.
"Here we go!" Brother pointed his finger, ramrod straight, at the darkness. He had waken up. Buddy pushed the ignition and they went flying off into the dark sky.
They had been flying for a few minutes, and still nothing had appeared. Suddenly they heard a maniacal laugh, but it was silly all the same. They tried to see what was making the hilarious noise and magically a giant bust appeared.
It was a male face, with a giant fiery orange hair in a cowlick. He was wearing a purple top hat on his hair, along with a matching purple bow tie. "IT'S WAKKA! OH MY YEVON!" Yuna squealed. She fell over from the shock, and Brother promptly led her to a bed for 'resting'.
Rikku kept looking at the face, wondering how Wakka projected himself into the sky. She decided to ask Wakka herself. "WAKKA, WHY DID YOU-" She was cut short as the airship was sucked through Wakka's mouth. She grabbed Buddy, trying to stay steady. As they were being "swallowed", they heard strange voices singing a even stranger song.
The voices were faintly singing, "Willy Wakka, Willy Wakka, the amazing blitzball-teer! Willy Wakka, Willy Wakka, he drinks a lot of beer. With so much generosity and nowhere to put it, he makes a lot of blitzballs, and gives them to the CHILDREN!" Rikku listened to the catchy tune and started singing and dancing to it. The song continued,"...Willy Wakka hey! Willy Wakka hey!... Willy Wakka, Willy Wakka, the amazing blitzball-teer!..."
Yuna is revived and she and Brother left his room and entered the bridge. She is blushing slightly. Rikku giggled and then screamed. The ship nosedived and crash lands in front of a giganto building. Thankfully no one was injured. "Let's go!" Brother ordered.
The group went in, and were surprised that the doors were unlocked. "Was he expecting us?"
The room they walk into is extremely dark, and they can't see a thing. "Does this guy have some liking to the darkness?" They stayed put, waiting for the lights to turn on. A single spot light shined a few feet away from the group. The light blinded them, and they heard achildish voice says, "Welcome, I am Willy Wakka!"