But those words would rarely pass his lips; she could not want him or ever require his presence. She must only see him as an annoyance, a shadow casting darkness over her bright and cheerful light.
No one like her could want him.
"Kitty?" The blue boy asked as he bounded down to the small brunette with more energy then the entire institute could muster together in a single leap.
"Have you seen Piotr?" She whispered and pulled him away from the entry hall, beginning to spill a secret that had been burdening since the 'stew incident' as it had become labelled in her mind.
"The Russian? Ja, he was waiting for the bathroom when I came to see you" Kurt responded as he was promptly dragged into the rec room after Kitty had checked to see if there was anyone inside.
"What do you think of him?" She asked, tentatively. Maybe if Kurt liked him…then maybe just maybe it was meant to be. But if he didn't…his opinion meant so much to her, he was the one she dragged to the mall to see if such and such looked good on her.
He was more honest then the other boys, Bobby and Roberto would sneer or see if they could see her in the changing rooms, Scott and Logan would compliment to see if they could just get out of the store.
She didn't know about her Shadow, he would be honest but nice about it she thought. He wouldn't pander to her feelings but he wouldn't be brutal about it either.
"He seems alright Kitty, a bit quiet and shy but I saw him teaching one of the smaller children how to put their chain back on their bike" Kurt shrugged and stared at his friend in a measuring manner, his yellow irises glittering madly in the artificial light.
Kitty heaved a sigh of relief and winced as she noticed Kurt's eagle eyed gaze, he was watching her with interest as if to understand what was up with his normally cheerful companion.
"Why the interest Kitty? Does the little kit kat have a crush?" The German boy teased with a smile.
"No…how's the wedding planning going?" Kitty said, praying for a distraction and her cleverly and 'subtly' planted technique worked. Kurt rattled on for a good fifteen minutes about table settings and how his little sisters were flying over from Germany accompanied with Rogue from New Orleans.
"And your dress will be burgundy, the girls' will be in a lighter purple and Rogue'll be in darker" He continued to talk at her, not noticing her empty look. It wasn't as if she didn't care, but he'd told her before …many times.
"Isn't it ten? You've got a meeting with Amanda and her parents now haven't you?" She probed, hoping it was true. He seemed to have daily meetings with the girl and her mother and father just to 'check details'.
As the maid of honour, Kitty had been to one of these meetings and had shuddered at how serious they all were about it; every detail was planned to military precision.
With a German expletive and a clap of sulphur her furry elf friend disappeared and Kitty was left to wonder about Piotr.
"I'm not good enough for him, I wouldn't think to stop and help a little boy" She murmured and stared into her hands as she sank into the overstuffed sofa with a maudlin expression.
"Hell, even if a kid was wailing in pain I'd probably walk right by, I'm such an insensitive air head" Kitty self depreciated, not noticing the door opened a crack before a sharp intake of breath graced the room.
"How could I ever think that he liked me" She sighed finally, bubbly good humour disappearing in a cloud of gloom. "He probably loves Logan more then me!"
"That is where you are wrong Katya" Came the gravely and oh so perfectly accented voice of the one she was moping about. "I admire the wolverine greatly but I can assure you I posses no amorous feelings towards him no matter what you may hear from Bobby"
"P-P-Piotr?" She asked, silently thinking many four-letter words. 'My shadow…'
"Katya" He murmured, the word silent enough to send the good shivers back into her spine as he stepped closer to her slumped position.
Kitty straightened, without even realising she was doing it and glanced at those deep blue eyes with fear. He was sure to laugh or taunt her, or even worse. Let her down gently.
"Do you wish to know how I feel about you Katya?" he asked simply, straight to the point.
"Yes" She whispered and readied herself for the blow.
"Stand up" He commanded, the normally retiring Russian becoming more domineering by the second. The shivers were making her tremble physically now.
She complied and he took her wrist to draw her closer. "I do not have words for you Katya" He murmured.
"All I have is this" And with that, he tilted her head up to his and lowered his mouth on hers.