I got this idea from the Gen-A forums. It was on a list of topics for drabbles and I found one that paired up good with my idea. This was also partly inspired by a fan art that Jadzia found xD
"Are you alright, Captain?" Mu La Flaga's voice sounded from her now open doorway.
The correct answer would've been "No, I feel terrible," but since when would she openly admit that?
"Yes, I'm fine, thanks," She plastered on a forced smile; she had to at least try and hide her emotions, even though he read her like an open book.
Just recently, they lost two members of the Archangel, Tolle Koenig, and Kira Yamato. The loss weighed heavily on them all, especially on the shoulders of the other young students on board. The Captain didn't admit it up front, but she did blame herself for their deaths. She could've been a better Captain and finished off the Le Cruset team earlier, so that way Kira would've never had to go in and fight a losing battle against the Aegis. She also could've stopped Tolle from going out, she did have the authority, right? So why didn't she put it to good use?
This is why she wasn't okay; this is why she felt dreadful since she left the bridge.
While she was stuck on her thoughts, the Commander took that time to observe his Captain. She looked tired, eyes slightly bloodshot from…tears? Her heard was disarrayed and her uniform wrinkled. She looked absolutely worn out. She wasn't okay, and he knew it.
"Captain…I know what you look like when you're, and this," He gestured to her fatigued form. "Is not it,"
"Commander, please, I'm just…tired,"
He sighed. "I know, we all are; It's been a very…trying day," He looked down when he finished speaking, unpleasant thoughts flashing across his eyes.
"Yes…it has," She looked down as well, not wanting to remember.
"You know, Captain, that…I'm here if you need someone to talk to. I'll listen to whatever you have to say,"
She looked up and smiled. "Thank you, Commander, but I'm alright, honest,"
He smiled, but he secretly knew that she wasn't alright. He reached over cautiously, lifting her chin up to meet his eyes with his forefinger. He flashed his signature smirk and turned to walk out of her room.
Once her door slid shut, she dropped her façade, holding back the tears just barely. She couldn't lose it in front of him, it just didn't feel right, placing her burdens on his shoulders. She stayed slouched over in her chair for about 10 more seconds, before she realized something. The pain was becoming to strong to bear, and she suddenly felt alone and cold. Both those boys, even though she wasn't very close to them, felt almost like little brothers to her, and now she just lost them, because she was stupid enough to let it happen.
The commander, he under stood, and she felt so afraid without him standing there, for whatever reason, she wasn't sure, but she knew that sh would feel a lot more secure if he was with her. She stood up quickly from her chair and ran over to the door. Once she was out of her room and ran in the direction she heard his footsteps fade off into. She saw him shortly after she started running down the hallway. She started to slow down and when she got close enough, she crashed into him from behind, holding on tightly.
His body tensed up and he froze. "What the-" He turned and when he saw her there, his body relaxed ands his eyes softened.
"No Commander…I'm not alright…I'm not!" His eyes then widened in surprise as he felt tears soaking in through the back on if uniform and heard her sobs.
He didn't know what to do. Should he turn around and comfort her, or stay like that? He didn't take long to make a decision. He tuned around slowly and took her in his arms and held her tightly. She cried openly into his chest without a care in the world. He knew that she was suffering, and that this is what she needed, so why wouldn't she take that to heart? He somehow realized that she wasn't just crying over those boys, but for everyone else she lost; her old boyfriend, Halberton and now Kira and a Tolle. The pressure finally became too much.
Once he noticed her sobs quieting down he spoke. "It's not your fault. They knew the consequences, and they accepted that they might die out there, the y would've went out there anyway, and you know it,"
She looked up at him, face wet with tears. "B-but,"
He covered her mouth with a finger and wiped her tears away with his free hand. "No buts, I'm not gonna listen to you blame yourself for what happened,"
"H-how can I not blame myself, I was stupid and I didn't try and stop them,"
He sighed, feeling defeated. "I would've done the same thing. Besides, you think they would've stopped right in the middle for everything?"
She looked down and answered lowly. "No,"
"But it's not fair!" Her began to shine with tears again.
"On the contrary…All's fair in love and war, Captain,"
His words meant nothing to her at first, just an old saying, but then it hit her. He was talking about the war, but he was also talking about…
He smirked knowingly at her, realizing that she understood what he meant. In response, she buried her face in his chest and allowed him to wrap her arms around her.
Maybe it wasn't her fault, and maybe things would turn out fro the better in the end.
It's a shame that things don't quite turn out for the better in the end for Mu or Murrue. Sorry that this got a little weird, and maybe a bit confusing, but I'm a little out of it today. Must be summer vacation getting to my head already, the first day that it started xD