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Sincerely Yours, Clow Reed

A CCS fanfic by Sakura

Standard disclaimers apply.

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Dear Eriol,


      Yesterday I had the misfortune of overhearing your little tirade --- something that, I have to admit, gave me quite a shock.  But I wrote this letter not to address (nor applaud) your growing knowledge of profanity but to clear what is an obvious misunderstanding.  And here I quote one of your previous statements:

      ". . .I shouldn't have done it.  What was I thinking?!  She'll never. . .talk to me again.  Whatever came over me?  I'm such a dolt.  It's all the fault of that *expletive deleted* Clow and his *expletive deleted* emotional intelligence---" (end excerpt, censorship mine)

      I am aware that what had transpired between you and Daidouji Tomoyo is none of my business whatsoever.  (And even if it were, I'd have no interest in meddling in the affairs of a boy so madly and frustratedly in love that he is driven to banging his head against the wall after stealing a two-second kiss from the object of his desire.)  However, I would like to point out here that your so-called 'unrequited love' and the frustration that comes with it does NOT justify your right to --- pardon the term --- diss me.  For years I have kept my silence about this, but now I feel I should address the issue of you, as my reincarnated self, living with my supposed character flaws.

      When I had decided to end my life and come back at another time, I had planned for myself to be reborn in two personae ---- which, take note, do not necessarily symbolize the two halves of my psyche (e.g. my 'good side' and 'bad side').  It just so happened that you were unlucky right from the start --- the half of me you received in the transmission of souls was the half that had dealt with Cerberus and his snacking problem, Card failures, bills and the like; while Fujitaka was fortunate to have received most of my...well, let's just call them my 'good points'. 

      (And yes, I do have my good points, so stop rolling your eyes.)   

      What I'm saying here is that your little 'Fujitaka equals good' and 'Eriol equals evil' analogy --- which has a tendency to pop up in your standard 'I'm-screwed-because-of-Clow' rant --- is not only logically faulty but also completely baseless.  In short, you cannot blame all your flaws on me.  You, my dear Eriol, should realize that you are actually your own wily, deceitful, wicked self.  And that you are much more of an emotional idiot than I can ever hope to be.  Take pride in those facts.

      This letter may not help matters any as I can already see this being crumpled up into a ball and tossed into the fireplace; but you can't say I didn't try.  A soul can only do so much for his reincarnated self.  Even if you can be such a whining ingrate at times, I still am part of you, and I empathize.  I really do, even if it doesn't seem that way sometimes.

      Well, now that I 've stated my case, this will be all.  Please send my regards to Spinel Sun and Ruby Moon.  (Just to emphasize my point on how different we actually are, I'd never come up with names like that.  'Yue' and 'Cerberus' definitely have more panache.  They were lucky you weren't in my place then, or else they would've ended up as Silver Eyes and Golden Fur.) 

      Be well, Eriol, and I wish you luck in matters of the heart, alchemy, and advanced calculus.  Not necessarily in that order, though. 

Sincerely yours,

                                                                        Clow Reed

P.S.  I know I promised not to touch on the subject of your (virtually nonexistent) lovelife but since I've already spoiled your day with this letter, I might as well end it with a crash.  That two-second kiss was nothing to whine about; she didn't mind it as much as you think she did.  However, if you hadn't pulled away so soon, she could've kissed you back.  No, the fact is, she was about to kiss you back.  Hard. 

P.P.S.  Spare the poor wall and bang your head against something else.  I trust you and your thick skull will take it just fine, but the mansion is too old to take such a beating. 

Author's Notes:

      There isn't much info on Clow Reed and most fics with him in it just have him sitting in his chair and smiling or using cards and magic, so I thought I'd go ahead and give him a wry sense of humor...  (This didn't turn out as well as I thought it would, but at least I should get an A for effort. ^_^ ) 

      My image of Clow is partly based on Hiko Seijuurou (from Rurouni Kenshin); after running through some Ruroken episodes and hearing him go "baka deshi", I thought that it would be fun if Clow were just as shrewd. 

      Me    : *eagerly* What do you think?

      Eriol  : *bang bang bang*

      Clow :  Baka keshin.  (or 'stupid reincarnation', in Hiko-speak. -_-)