Tenshi: Okay. I'm not gonna lie to you guys. This chapter... is really weird. Well. Okay, it's not that bad. But still, there are parts that are definitely only going to make sense to us, and a lot of things that you really "just had to be there" for. I hope it makes some semblance of sense! I also hope that Aki doesn't notice some of the edits I'm about to make to it while I watch House.

Oh yeah. And sorry about the whole...not updating since 2005 thing... ::shifty look::

Also, if any of this is particularly strange...Aki wrote that part... ::another shifty look::

Tenshi again: Well, that was a bust. This was supposed to be updated LAST TUESDAY, but the site kept giving us a stinking error message... and telling us to go to support. fanfiction. net WHICH DOES NOT EXIST!!!! And when it DOES exist, no one can figure out how to use it!!!!!

Please forgive any punctuation errors caused by disappearing characters due to QuickEdit...


Chaptah TWO!!!

THE FUTURE!!!!!

The Supreme Overlord, Bakura Ryou, scowled as Bob Picadilly left his apartment. He yelled angrily after him a few times, before turning back to the television set across the room. He curled up on his white leather couch, drawing his knees up to his chest. Picking up his discarded remote control he unpaused his program...or, rather, his motivational tape.

"You are strong-willed person," a feminine voice crooned from the television set as clips of flowers blowing in the wind and crashing waterfalls played across the screen for no apparent reason at all.

Ryou tsked in annoyance and said to himself, "Well, duh..."

"You will succeed in life."

"Yeah, like, you know, become a Supreme Overlord or something..."

"You will reach your goals."

"I'm already conquering the world, lady," he shot back derisively.

"You have a high self-esteem."

"..."

"You like yourself...what others do and say can't bring you down."

Ryou glared at the television. What did she know anyhow?...

"People like you. You have friends..."

Ryou jumped to his feet in anger. "What the heck? What is this junk? This wasn't worth the time it took me to command someone to steal this from Wal-Mart for me... back before I didn't control Wal-Mart." He laughed in an evil way.

Remembering his vendetta against the television and its supposedly "motivational" tape, he threw the remote control frustratedly at it. It just bounced off the screen. In response to the remote being ineffectual, he stomped on it, as, you know, an example for all those thinking about being ineffectual in the future. He followed this by kicking out the TV screen.

After kicking the television, VCR, motivational tape, and remote's technological butts, he collapsed back onto his couch and picked up his cell phone.

"Hey, lackeys, I need a new television set up here... yeah, the usual... what do you mean 'again?'... DON'T QUESTION ME, MINION... wait forget the TV. Bring me Doctor Phil..."

-------------------------------------

THE PAST!!!!

Ryou Bakura peeked his head around the corner of the school building anxiously the next morning. Class would be starting in five minutes, but he was still too nervous to try and walk around in public. He was waiting until the last possible moment when the least possible amount of people would be wandering around the least possible... I mean, people would be wandering around the halls

You know the whole point of doing this was so you would get noticed, baka... said the slightly amused and slightly annoyed voice in his head.

Oh, I see. You want to walk boldly late into class too.

Ryou grimaced at the thought. The late bell rang and the last of the stragglers made their way reluctantly indoors to class (After all, who actually goes to class joyfully unless it's, like, art or lunch...except that lunch isn't a class, but I digress...)

"It's now or never," said Ryou to no one in particular. He took one hesitant step forward to the front of the school building, but a moment later he shrunk back into the shadows, like he was being attacked by a snake or a rabid racoon... but he wasn't. In fact he had caught sight of his reflection in a puddle on the ground.

I can't do this! Ryou mentally shouted, horrified. I should just go home and change... .

You can't! Yami Bakura retorted in his head, Look how far you've come; you can't turn back now, he encouraged uncharacteristically. I want to see the Pharaoh's face when he sees you've outdone his buckle-fetish-fashion-statement-thing...y... with your goth...emo...punk- ish... lookamawhozit.

Ryou sighed in resignation. Fine.

All he had actually wanted to do was find something at the mall that would make people pay attention to him... or to prove to his almost shattered self-esteem that people actually acknowledged his existence. He thought maybe he'd do something with his hair. Bleach it maybe. It took him a surprisingly long time to realize his hair was already white...

Thinking that his plan had failed, Ryou began wandering the mall aimlessly, the whole time his yami making rude comments about the other mall patrons.

Wow, she's so fat, when she sits around the house, she sits around the house... .

Where do you learn these things, Yami...? .

Hey, I watch TV and stuff... .

Jerry Springer, again? Seriously, Yami, you know you got some issues .

Not as many as that couple on Springer yesterday, or the fat guy who was in the audience asking a bunch of obnoxious questions, or that ugly dude over there .

Yami said Ryou exasperatedly, then ... I think that's a girl... .

Ewww... .

That's awful... .

That's awfully hilarious! Ooh! You got HOUSED! .

It was around this point that he passedHot Topic - or the Japanese equivalent thereof. Spying a new Care Bears beach towel (which was always an odd but familiar sight in Hot Topic) on the back wall he wandered in, casually pretending to make his along the band t-shirts on the side wall. (Just because he collects Care Bears doesn't mean he's not a man!)

Suddenly-

WAIT!

Ryou stopped and looked around - and, curiously, so did everyone else in the store, looking extremely confused and slightly disturbed.

I... Yami Buskura...Bukura...Buakura...er... Bakura announced Have an IDEA!

Your mom has an idea.

... ...W...what?

Ryou shook his head Never mind.

Anyway... he continued, sounding a bit insulted, although he was unsure exactly how or if he had been insulted. Dude! The perfect plan! We're right in the middle of it!

Of the plan? It was Ryou's turn to be confused.

No, the MEANS of our plan!

Ryou stared blankly - a young mother in his line of sight gave him a strange look, wondering why a strange boy was staring so blankly at her. (Beware the redundancy...!) She quickly checked that she was completely covered up appropiately, you know, clotheswise... Then she turned to her young children and whispered, "That's why we don't do drugs..."

His yami coughed. Kay. Back to me, now... Thank you. ANYwho... The MEANS of our plan! he repeated. The store, you idiot! The sheer gothness of it all! How can your classmates NOT notice you?

Finally, blessed understanding! Ryou grinned, and proceeded to pull black clothing off the shelves.

He took it to the cashier, and placed it on the counter, pulling out a handy credit card.

"BUT WHY IS IT ORANGE?!" the cashier screamed randomly.

He looked at the card. "Actually I think it's blue." Nevertheless, he took the stuff to the next cashier over, and exited the store after paying (much to Yami Bakura's chagrin.)

And that brings us back to the schoolhouse on the prairie, I mean Domino High School. Ryou was currently wearing baggy black cargo pants, a black sleeveless hoodie much like the one Malik used to wear before his stretchy headed counterpart took over his body, except it didn't show his midriff, nor was it pink ("It was LAVENDER!!! Lavender, I say!")("Shyeah. Like that's better."). He also was adorned with a plethora of gold jewelry, also inspired by Malik. In particular, he was sporting new, small gold hoops, three on each ear. Also, to add to the whole, how did Yami Bakura put it, goth...emo... punk...lookamawhozit, he was also wearing a thick layer of eye liner, a fashion tip that none other than his yami had shared with him. His yami had also sworn to eat his soul if he dared tell anyone that he wore eye liner and that was how he achieved his menacing look.

And now our rambling storylines COLLIDE! In other words, Ryou finally worked up the courage to enter the school building. He trudged clinking through the hallway to his classroom, boots... booting...on the tile floor. He threw the door open recklessly and strode in a manner that made his yami very, very proud like a parent whose child has thrown open a door recklessly and ...strode... in. Oh yeah, that makes sense.

TAB!!!

Never mind...

Ryou Bakura, decked out his aforementioned gothic apparel, strode to his desk determinedly and collapsed into his chair as unceremoniously as his usually polite self could muster. Even though he was a good five and a half minutes late no one had even turned their head. The teacher, who was taking roll in the front of the classroom, did not even move his head to acknowledge his detention-worthy entrance.

Ryou cleared his throat loudly, which achieved nothing. He kicked the desk in front of him, which held a half- asleep, thus very irritable, Jounouchi. He grunted in response, and slurred "Meat tarts!"

The teacher looked up. "What'd you call me? That's detention! This Saturday! Be there or be squaaaaare..." His voice trailed off menacingly...

"Yes, grandma..." Jou responded, still half-asleep...

Ryou could only stare in disbelief. This was supposed to be HIS detention!

Yami, no one is paying any attention to me...

Hmm... was the only half-interested answer.

I mean, come on. I show up late, totally gothed out, make a ruckus and still no one even thinks I exist. What is wrong with me? At first I thought maybe I was so pale that I don't know, faded into the background or was invisible or something... Yami? .

There was no response.

Yami?!

Umm, sorry, what did you say?
Yami!
Ryou shouted mentally.

I was just kidding with you, chillax yo.

What the heck are you saying? asked Ryou, frustrated.

J/k! Rotflol!!! O M G!!!11111

What? Do you even know what you're saying?

Do you even know what YOU'RE saying?

Ryou was floored. I...I don't know...

... Don't think about it too hard, kid, you might hurt yourself... .

Ryou shook his head to clear his mind, which was a fruitless action as there was constantly an evil spirit blathering on in the background or laughing maniacally, because he tended to do that a lot.

"Has anyone seen Mister Bazooka today? Anyone?"

"I'm right he-... never mind..." he got up dejectedly, and left.

It was time for something even MORE drastic.


And it just keeps getting weirder.