A/N: Well would you look at that?
I'm delving into Lily/James now as well.
What will she do next?
Anywho, this is a short little story (vignette? Is that what they're called?) It will only be three chapters long. One for each law.
Honestly, writing this first chapter was the most fun I've had in awhile. Don't know why. So hopefully you'll have fun reading it.
Which you will do. And you will also review.
Disclaimer: A Writer in Denial tends to Stay in Denial unless forced to write a Disclaimer. Don't own it.
Newton Knows Best Chapter One:
The First Law
Lily Evans was pissed off.
She sat at her desk and stared straight ahead, gripping her quill so tightly that it was on the verge of snapping. Her hands were shaking violently. The ink in her quill was slowly creating a large black blot on her perfectly organized potions notes as the sharp tip steadily scratched a hole through the thick paper. Blood was rushing to her face so that it was very close to matching her hair, and she was sure that if she did not get out of that classroom soon she would be spending more time in detention than Sirius Black spent on his hair.
And that was saying something.
He began speaking again, and she snapped her blazing eyes to him. It took all she had to restrain herself from chucking her cauldron full of perfectly brewed potion at him and hoping to high Hogsmeade that the impact would knock him out.
And cause him to sprout numerous boils.
And make him think he was a woman for awhile due to his addled brains.
And make him remember that he was not, in fact, a woman, but still know that for awhile there he thought he was.
And make him take back the detention.
Yes, he didn't have to do any of those other things as long as he took back the detention.
Really, she thought she might not have been so able to restrain herself if it were not for the particular potion they had been brewing that day. It was Amortentia, and she really didn't fancy him fawning all over her until the effects wore off.
The thought made her shudder.
"It generally isn't a good sign when one's whole body begins shaking in anger. High blood pressure, you know. You might have a stroke or something. And I, personally, would be highly devastated if you went into an anger-induced coma."
That particular voice whispering in her ear didn't do anything whatsoever to quell her anger, either. She didn't trust her voice not to speak below 282.7 decibels, so she merely gripped her quill harder and kept staring straight ahead.
"I think you're wearing a hole in your desk. I would stop if I were you. They give detentions for destruction of school property. I should know."
She ignored the persistent voice and scooted over slightly in her seat to distance herself from the speaker.
It didn't work.
"You're going to snap that thing if you don't stop white-knuckling it. It would be a shame, really. Very nice quill you have there."
She made no response except to take a deep breath in an attempt to control herself and not attack the voice.
"Yes, deep breaths might help. Though I've always thought a nice broom ride does the trick best. You could try counting backwards from twenty, as well."
The quill snapped, and so did Lily. She whipped around to face the speaker.
"JAMES POTTER! If you don't shut up I'm going to stick this quill up your-"
Luckily, the bell rang just at this moment, and her voice was drowned out by the noise of a restless Potions class scrambling to leave a dark and oppressive Dungeon.
"You should've tried counting backwards from twenty."
Lily stood up, breathing heavily and gripping her snapped quill, which was now leaking black ink all over her hand. James Potter sat before her, smiling innocently and holding out a quill towards her.
"I told you you were going to snap it. It's ok though, I have one you can borrow." He gestured towards her with the hand holding the quill.
She opened her mouth to retort, and was cut off by him.
"Miss Evans, I will be expecting you here at 8 p.m. sharp tonight to serve your detention. We will discuss the nature of your next detention at that time."
Lily whipped around to face the original object of her mighty rage, Professor Splintertoe.
"My next detention!" she exclaimed, "What for?"
Professor Splintertoe raised an eyebrow, "For the use of foul language in my classroom. That is not permitted, Miss Evans. I expected you to know such things. I'm sure you've memorized the rule book back to front."
Lily turned back and slammed her books back into her bags. She hauled the bag onto her shoulder, shoved past James, and stalked towards the door.
It was bad enough that he had given her a detention for dropping a vile of dragon's blood on accident. Now he was giving her a detention for saying a word that no one had heard in the first place.
Lily Evans took her perfect record seriously. She had never before received a detention until now. And she was not happy about it.
You could tell by the way she was trying to pound the floor to a pulp under her feet.
"8 p.m!" Professor Splintertoe called behind her.
Lily gripped her snapped quill harder and sped up, stalking towards the Front Hall.
If she weren't so angry, she would have noticed the fearful looks directed her way by the lesser years as they scuttled away from her.
An object in motion tends to stay in motion unless acted upon by an outside force: Newton's First Law of Motion.
Lily Evans was a prime example of the proverbial 'Object.'
It appeared that no one was too keen on representing the 'Outside Force.'
Except for one…
"Evans!" it yelled, "Hey Evans!"
She closed her eyes and kept stomping.
"Evans! Wait up!" it yelled.
She stomped faster in an attempt to get rid of him.
But James Potter was not easily gotten rid of.
"Aw, come on Lils," he said once he had caught up with her, "It's only a detention."
The Object in Motion stayed in motion.
"Two detentions, Potter" she said, "Two undeserved detentions. And don't call me Lils."
They passed Professor Splintertoe's office door, and Lily shoved back a tapestry to reveal a very narrow staircase. She began stomping up that very narrow staircase as if it had done her a great wrongdoing. The Outside Force followed her.
"Well, two detentions aren't so bad," he said reasonably, "I've had loads more than that."
Lily snorted and kept on stomping, "Yes well, that's because you're a Marauder, isn't it? You just can't avoid breaking every rule in the book. And you're detentions are deserved! Mine, however, are no-ARGH!"
Enter the Outside Force.
Only it turned out not to be James.
Lily Evans had just stomped right into the trick stair halfway up the staircase, and her leg was now buried up to her thigh. The broken quill had flown out of her ink-stained hand and landed a few stairs up, and her book bag had flown off her shoulder and spilled its contents over the stairs around her.
James came to a halt behind her.
Two Objects in Motion tend to stay in motion unless acted upon by an Outside Stair…
She closed her eyes and counted to twenty.
"Need some help?"
Her eyes snapped open and she twisted her upper body to face James. She gave him her best eat-poo-and-die look.
"No," she snapped, and she turned back around, braced her hands on the stair in front of her, and tried to pull her leg out. It didn't move.
"Are you sure you don't need any help?"
She threw her head back in exasperation, "Yes, Potter! I'm sure!"
She braced her hands again and shoved on the stair. Her leg sunk lower. She screamed and threw the nearest book up the stairs. The book happened to be Advanced Potions, so it did give her a little satisfaction.
"You need to work on your anger management skills, Lils," said James.
"Don't. Call. Me. LILS!" she gritted out.
James ignored her and stepped over her head to walk up the stairs.
"Alright well, see ya around, Evans."
Lily stared after him with a panicked expression on her face. She seemed to be battling within herself, one part of her saying to save her pride and the other part saying to get her bloody leg out of the bloody stair.
The latter part won.
She was a sensible girl, was Lily.
James turned around and smirked at her, "Yes, Lilykins?"
She restrained herself from telling him not to call her Lilykins, and instead said, "Can you help me?" in the most polite voice she could muster.
Which wasn't remotely polite.
James' smirk got wider, "Help you with what, Lilykins?" he asked innocently.
She took a deep breath, she knew he was doing this on purpose.
"Can you help me get out of the stair," she said, still in her not-so-polite voice.
James cocked his head to the side and trilled, "What's the magic woooorrrrd?"
Lily glared at him.
"Please," she ground out.
"Certainly!" James exclaimed, and he bounced down the stairs towards her.
Lily rolled her eyes and scoffed.
One Object Not in Motion tends to stay not in motion unless acted upon by a Previous Object in Motion…
"Thanks," she muttered as he reached the stair above her and looked down.
He beamed at her and held out his hands, "Not a problem. Grab my hands."
She didn't move.
"Now Lils, how can I help you out of the stair if you don't grab my hands?" He sounded amused.
She looked up at him. Grabbing his hands would be a bad idea. A very bad idea. Not a good idea. A bad idea.
Awful, dreadful, horrific, terrible, ghastly, atrocious, horrendous.
To be exact.
The good little voices in her head were telling her so. They were telling her that she had always avoided close proximity, let alone physical contact, with one James Potter, and that she shouldn't start now.
James quirked an eyebrow, and a new, bad little voice entered her head and told her that he had a very cute eyebrow and that it wanted a better look at that cute eyebrow.
The bad voice beat the good voices to a pulp, and she reached out her hands.
She briefly wondered if it was strange to think someone's eyebrow was cute and that if she would be considered schizophrenic for listening to the 'bad voices'… but then he grabbed her hands.
They were warm, and they were calloused from Quidditch, and they were sending shocks down her arms, and they were causing her legs to turn to jelly.
Though that possibly had something to do with the fact that her legs were in generally odd positions.
But possibly not.
She decided she liked his hands even better than his cute eyebrow.
Or rather, the bad little voice told her that she liked them better than his cute eyebrow.
But that amounted to the same thing.
Which was that she liked his hands.
Better than the eyebrow.
She wondered why she was repeating herself so much.
Then the Previous Object in Motion made the Object Not in Motion come into motion again. Or something like that.
James hoisted her leg out of the stair and hauled her up onto the same stair as himself. She suddenly found herself pressed tightly against him, her head on his chest, her knees touching his, and her hands encircled by his larger ones.
Her lungs stopped working, and the victorious voice in her head insisted for a better look at his eyebrow. Even though it liked his hands better.
She lifted her head from his chest and looked up at him. He was staring down at her, all amusement gone from the eyes behind his glasses, replace by something close to amazement and something else that she didn't want to contemplate.
And then the book that she had thrown up the stairs slipped and banged down the stairs, stopping at their feet. All her anger from before was renewed in full.
One Book in Motion will prevent two Objects Not in Motion from snogging in the stairwell…
The good voices in Lily's head came back to life. 'Run away,' they were yelling.
She bent down, snatched her potions book, and then hastily gathered her books and shoved them violently into her bag.
"I believe I just saw you handling that library book a little aggressively, dear Lilykins."
She didn't stop gathering her things, "What's your point?" she snapped.
"Well it goes back to what I mentioned earlier about destruction of school property…"
Lily whirled around to face him, "Would you consider yourself school property, Potter?"
James looked a little confused, "Well I suppose I'm not technically schoo-HOLY HELL WOMAN! What are you doing?"
"I'm…attacking…you with…a….BOOK!" she whacked him about the head one last time and then shoved the book in with the rest of the others, "You aren't school property, so I feel no remorse in causing destruction on your being."
James gaped at her and rubbed the back of his head where she had smacked him.
"Anger management, Lils. I'm serious," he muttered.
Lily screamed in frustration and stomped her foot, "DON'T CALL ME LILS!"
James stopped rubbing his head, "Ok…Lils." He smirked at her.
Lily growled and made to hit him again, but she slipped on a stray piece of parchment that had not yet made it to her bag. She ended up in the trick stair.
One Previous Object in Motion that had become an Object Not in Motion and had then slipped on a New Outside Force tends to fall into Previous Outside Forces…
"BLOODY EFFING HELL!" she screamed.
James looked at her in shock, "Lils!" he exclaimed, "You cursed! Profusely! They'll be writing this down in the history books. Oh, our little Lilykins is growing up so fast…" He wiped a fake tear from his cheek.
Lily's face now resembled a radish, and her hands clenched and unclenched at her side.
"Get me out of this stair right now," she hissed at him.
James put his hands in his pockets and rocked back on his heels, "On one condition," he said.
Lily closed her eyes. Nothing Potter wanted from her could be any good.
She clenched her jaw, "And what condition might that be?"
"You have to come outside with me and work on your anger management skills. It really is unhealthy the way you deal with this. Very bad for you. And very bad for the school property around you as well…"
Lily glared at him, "It's going to be very bad for you also if you don't help me out of this stair right this instant."
"I might be close to terrified if it weren't for the fact that I have your wand," retorted James, and he produced her wand from the depths of his cloak with a flourish.
Lily gaped, "How…how did you…?"
"Rule number 287," he stuck a finger into the air, "if you want something out of the target, hold his or her wand hostage."
He smirked at her and twirled her wand between his fingers.
"So, Lils. Will I be escorting you outside to commence with our anger management lessons? Or shall I set your wand here," he placed her wand three stairs up from her, just out of her reach, "And leave you to your own devices."
Lily glared at him, "Sometimes I really hate you," she said.
"Is that a yes?"
Lily glared some more, but she accepted defeat and sighed, "Fine."
One Previous Object in Motion who steals another Previous Object in Motion's sole bargaining tool tends to become an Outside Force as well as the possessor of the power to make the Other Previous Object in Motion do whatever the Previous Object in Motion who is now an Outside Force wants. Ish.
"Jolly good!" James bounced around to the back of her and lifted her by her waist.
To the good little voices' in Lily's head immense relief. They weren't entirely positive another hand-grabbing episode wouldn't have their poor Lily doing something senseless.
Like snogging him in the stairwell because he had nice hands and a cute eyebrow.
And because they were Objects Not in Motion.
Lily snatched up her bag and snapped quill and began stomping up the staircase.
Two Previous Objects in Motion, one of which has become an Outside Force in order to make the Other Previous Object in Motion once again an Object in Motion….aw, screw it. She stopped.
And she turned to face James. He was on the stair below her looking at her sternly, his arms ramrod straight by his sides.
"Back straight, soldier!" he commanded.
Lily nearly obeyed him.
Instead she managed to roll her eyes, "Potter, cut the military act."
James saluted her, "Ma'am, yes ma'am!" he exclaimed. He relaxed and smiled at her, "Just wanted to tell you something."
Lily waited. He didn't say anything.
Lily sighed, "And what was it you wanted to tell me?"
Lily furrowed her brow, "What?"
"You're not allowed to stomp. First lesson in anger management."
Lily made a frustrated sound and stomped her foot, "James, I-"
"No stomping!" James exclaimed, "Not only is it bad anger management technique, it also may cause pain in the joints. Specifically the knee, hip, and ankle."
Lily stared at him, "Joint pain?"
James nodded matter-of-factly, "Yes."
Lily stared some more.
"Fine. Well then what is proper 'anger management technique?'"
James smiled, "I'll show you when we get outside."
And he sidled past her and started up the stairs, "Come along, Lilykins!"
She came very close to stomping her foot.
Two Objects in Motion tend to stay in motion until they get outside, whereupon stuff will happen and cause them to become Two Objects Whose Velocity was Changed by an Outside Force…
But that concerns Newton's Second Law, which we'll be getting to later.
A/N: Readers dismissed! For now...
I believe that might have been the longest chapter I've ever written in my life.
And I know what you're thinking, "Holly is writing another story in the middle of Cheese Wheels?" Well it'll be short.
Plus, I'm going out of town tomorrow, and then I have soccer camp. And then I'm going to the beach. I'll pull a few all nighters if all of you review...