Author's notes: So here it is, the ending that came a little sooner than I'd planned, but that I still love. Many will probably want to chop my head off, but please don't, 'cause then you won't have a sequel. That I actually have in mind, but that won't be up for a year since I'm going to France.
This chapter, no, the whole story, is for SugarQuill Cutie, my lovely BETA, who helped me through this story, since I decided to write almost all of it in a week. Thanks so much, love!
So, for the last time, enjoy!
My seventh year at Hogwarts was very eventful, and that's putting it mildly. When I look back at that one year, no, not even that, on those six months, I often wonder if I did the right things, made the right choices. And I have often gotten the question, the very cliché question, "Would you do it one more time, just like that?". And I think I would. When you think about it, what could have been done differently? When the wheel starts turning, you can't do anything but keep going. The show must go on, you know.
That fall down the stairs changed my life in more ways than one, more than anyone but me knows. I might have lied a little about that event to my friends and family, or at least I didn't tell the whole truth.
I wasn't unconscious for three days, as they all think I were. I was awake when I was brought to the hospital wing, a fact no-one but Madam Pomfrey noticed. I feared for the life of my baby, and I asked Madam Pomfrey if she'd be able to save it. She said she would, and in the matter of two seconds, I made the decision that really changed my life. I asked her to make me uncoinscous, save the baby, but tell everybody I'd lost it. I didn't know back then why I asked that of her, or if it was the right thing to do. And I never thought Madam Pomfrey would agree to do it, but she did.
When I fell asleep from the potion she'd given me, my last thought was that I'd bought myself a few more days of uncertainty in this mad affair that was my life. But for good or bad, I did not know.
When I woke up three days later and saw Draco sleeping by my side, my heart almost broke. And I knew why I'd done what I did. I loved him, and I didn't want to destroy his life by giving him a baby he didn't want. For Merlin's sake, we were seventeen! I knew that many of those who got married in the wizarding world met at Hogwarts, but if that was to happen to me and Draco, I wanted it to because we loved each other, not because we had a child together.
When Draco said he was prepared to try again, prepared to give us another chance, I wasn't really surprised. But I wasn't happy either, as I should have been. After all, I did love him. But what he asked of me, without knowing it, was to choose between him and my baby. It was the hardest decision I've ever had to make, but even though I asked for some time to think, I'd allready chosen. Just before I fell down the stairs, I made my decision.
I'm happy with my life the way it is now. I love my husband, my family. When I come home after a long day at the office, and I see my two girls, Samira and Isabelle, playing in the garden, and when my husband meets me in the door to welcome me home, I feel that life can't be much better than it is now. And when I go to bed at night, often very early, and I lay there waiting for him to come and join me, I don't feel anything but grateful. My husband is a good man, no matter what everybody else says about him, or me. But when he has fallen asleep, with his arms in a tight grip around me, I lay awake, and all the memories come back to me. And I feel so much older than twenty three. Merlin, am I really that young? There's so much more I could be doing than work at the Ministry and raise a family. But I suppose this is the life I've choosen. And I'm happy with that. Really. But every now and then, there's a cloud on the sky of happiness.
I come to the office in the mornings, and I meet Him, in the elevator or in the Entrance Hall. And time stops. I'm seventeen again, about to make the hardest decision of my life. Had I choosen differentely, Merlin knows what the picture would look like. There would probably just be one girl running around in my garden when I come home from work. There would probably be another man to meet me in the door. Whose arms I know are stronger than my husbands, whose lips are the ones I taste in my dreams. Whose eyes I could never resist.
But then time continues, and I realize, as I always do, that it couldn't have worked. We would still be fighting over every single thing, and in the end, one of us would have left the other. Because in the end we would never have been quite sure of the other's love.
Sam, my husband, has many times asked me "Are you happy, Hermione? With me and the girls." And I say that I am. I say that what I had with Him back then was nothing but passion, pure sex. But I know deep inside that I lie, and I think Sam knows it too.
Sam is a good man. He married me, even though he knew all the time that my heart will always lie with another. He took care of Samira as if she was his own daughter. How many men would do that? My husband is the best, and I can't do him justice.
I haven't spoken to Draco since the day I told him that I was leaving him. He doesn't know Samira is his daughter. No-one knows that except for me and Madam Pomfrey, who promised me she'd never tell anyone. I still don't know if what I asked of her was right. Would Draco have stayed with me for me, and not for the baby? That's a questions whose answer I will never get. Because if life continues like it is now, Draco will never know he has a daughter.
I am twenty three, but I feel much older. I feel like fifty, have done for the past six years. My time of being a child ended the day I fell in love with Draco Malfoy. The people who knew me back then won't recognize me nowadays. Those how knew me as "'Mione" won't get an answer if they call me that. No-one has called me that since my seventh year at Hogwarts, when everything happened faster than I could cope with.
And when I walk through the halls at work I think about all these things, about how life is and how it could have been. And I know that it's good as it is now. I know Draco is happy with his wife, as I am with Sam. But I sometimes wonder if he thinks about the past as much as I do. If he also regret some of the things he did. And I wonder if he, in the middle of the cold lonely nights that everybody experiences, misses me as much as I miss him.
I will always wonder how life could have been if I had chosen Draco instead of Samira. Samira wouldn't even be that to me, she would just be "my baby". And even though there won't ever be a day when I don't wish that things would have turned out differently, I now that what happened was "For the best".
Author's notes: So this it it. The end. There won't be anymore Dramonie from me for a whole year. But ler us all be thankful that I at least finished this story. I wrote a whole fic in a week. Cheers for me! And I did promise you individual thank yous:s this time, I know.
myateriouscharm: Well, you know now that the baby wasn't lost, I just had to make it sound like that. Thanks for all the reviews uyo've give me!
Lina Natsuki: And I've had a lot of fun with SugarQuill too lol And thanks for saying that you love the story, anf for all the reviews!
S.c.ou.s.er.4.li.f.e: Draco actually can be trusted. When it comes to Hermione, he can. He just didn'tknow how to show her, and he had to pay for that. Thanks for the reviews, I'll miss spelling out your funny name!
RavensWritingProphecies: Sorry, no Dramonie in this one. At least not in the way I think you hoped. And Hermione told Draco she lost the baby because she wanted some confirmation that he did love her, even though by saving the baby, she left him without knowing it then. Thanks so much for the reviews!
Captain-Ammie: I know, but I think, over all, this is a sad fic. Thanks for the review!
rockinchic2104: Yes, I know, the ending came a little sooner than I'd hoped, I'd wanted some more Dramonie, but time wouldn't allow it. And I do have a sequel in mind, but you'll have to wait a long time for that. Thanks for the reviews!
sunmoonsandstars: They did know they loved the other, just not that the other loved them, do you understand? But I agree, poor Hermione, even though I put her in that situation. Thanks for the review!
cheeze: Well, now you know that the baby was kept, even though that resulted in no Draco. But for Hermione, it was a tough choice, I can tell you that! Thanks for the reviews!
SugarQuill Cutie: Ah, my lovely BETA! This is goodbye! (for now, you won't get rid of me that easy) Thanks for saying that I made the story work, I really tried, you know lol My goodbye mail is on itäs way! Thanks for all the help, and the reviews!
Broken Monroe: I think they already were apart when she "lost" the baby, that was just the last drop, if you know what I mean. They argued too much to stay together, even though they loved each other more than anything. Thanks for the reviews!
wiccan-witch88: Well, we can't know if he's OOC, since we've never seen him quite like that before. But when I wrote that, I had to choose between OOC or very IC, and I decided for the first. I want a little fluff, a little sensitive Draco lol Thanks for the reviews!
Christine: She didn't lose the baby, but if she really had, she wouldn't have been together with Draco. But, come to think about it, we can't really know that, can we? Thanks for the review!
angel-1844: Intriging storyline? And that was the last chapter...wow...or? Well, anyway, thanks for the reviews!
Vidagami041286: Really quite like it? That was a nice review lol Thanks for the review!
And thanks to everyone else who's reviewed too, I really appreciate it. Questions about this chapter, or about the story, or...anything? Mail me, but I might not answer in a while lol
Thanks so much, and that's all from me!