I don't own Harry Potter
A/N: This chapter is not exactly funny in the way that the other one's were but I feel like it wraps up the series of interviews nicely. I hope you enjoy it. Thanks goes, once again to Ham for all the ideas and support! This is my last chapter and I hope you enjoy it.
Thanks also goes to my beta for this chapter, Oomahey.Part 5: The Picked One
Snape walked over to pull Voldemort to his feet. "Are you all right Master?"
Voldemort wobbled on his unsteady feet before looking at the skinny, oily man next to him. He couldn't trust him and yet, he had no way of disposing of him at the moment. Voldemort could not duel the man without a wand that was meant for him. What do I say? Can this day get any worse?
The door creaked slowly as both of them turned to see Harry Potter standing silhouetted in the door, his face lit as if from a light from above. No one moved and again the room was unnaturally still.
"Don't bother to call for help, the Order has already taken out every guard in the place." Harry's voice was cold and hard.
Snape shook his head. "That's not possible! We'd have heard-"
Harry cut him off. "Silencing Charm." He stepped into the room, his wand leveled at them. "You took Luna and we were frantic. You took Fred and George and figured you would get what was coming to you." He moved another step closer. "But you crossed the line by taking Ginny and…" he paused for a moment before chuckling. "It looks like you got what you deserved. You look like hell Tom, what did she do to you?"
Voldemort swelled in anger and felt his face flush. He knew he looked like bat droppings but it did not bode well for this confrontation. He straightened as best he could before replying, realizing belatedly that he had dropped Draco's wand when he had been thrown to the floor. "The red haired brat hexed me and then stole my wand."
Harry chuckled. "That's my girl." He said it so lovingly that for a moment, Voldemort was not sure how to respond.
He didn't have to worry. Draco chose that moment to regain the conscious world and open his idiotic mouth. "The wench isn't yours anymore! You dumped her a few weeks ago. Maybe I'll have a go at her pretty- OWW!" Harry had walked over and kicked Draco hard in the face. Voldemort could see that his nose was broken and that he was probably missing a few teeth. It gave him a mildly happy fluttering in his stomach to realize that he could order no one to heal the pretty boy and he'd be stuck looking that way forever.
"Keep your mouth shut Ferret." Harry growled. He leveled his wand at Snape and Voldemort, the anger and hatred evident in his green eyes.
"Don't be thick Potter, you can't duel both of us and hope to win." Snape said maliciously.
Harry shook his head. "That's not why I am here."
"Have you bought back my wand then?" Voldemort asked flippantly.
Harry grinned and shook his head. "No, I am afraid that we gave your wand away."
Voldemort felt his mouth drop open. "Gave it away?" He repeated incredulously.
"That is not possible. No other wizard could use that wand and the Dark Lord has placed enchantments on it that will curse any other wizard who tries to use it." Snape argued nastily. He looked gleeful though, as if all holidays had been cancelled. Voldemort did not trust that look.
"No actually the person, well I shouldn't say person, but it won't be used as a wand ever again." Harry seemed to be really enjoying drawing out the suspense. "It was Ginny's idea actually. Our dear friend Hagrid has this Boarhound, Fang and we rather thought that Fang might need another chew toy. Hagrid took it to him just a few minutes ago and promised that the wand would be a mess of splinters and drool before nightfall."
Voldemort was speechless, yet again but Snape picked up where he could not. "You arrogant little-"
"Such a temper." Harry had interrupted him. His eyes hardened even further. "As I said, I am not here to duel you nor am I here to spare verbally with you. I have a message and I was the ambassador that was picked."
Voldemort felt very wrong footed in this situation. He took a steadying breath and asked, "What is it you wish to tell us?"
"First of," Harry began. "We found and relocated Ollivander so you will have to seek a wand from another source." At this Voldemort began to sweat profusely. "Second is that he," Harry raised his hand and pointed at Snape, "killed the person who heard the prophecy and so you can stop kidnapping my friends. You won't ever hear the prophecy." Harry turned back towards Draco kicked him once again in the stomach. "Third…" Harry paused for a moment before meeting Voldemort's eyes. "If you take or harm Ginny again there will be hell to pay."
"You are nothing but a useless worm Potter and I will not have you speak to-"BANG
Snape was hanging upside down in midair, his robes hanging about his face, entangling his arms and also exposing knickers that were a very interesting shade of lilac.
"Nice panties Snape." Harry muttered before flicking his wand again. Snape fell to the stone floor, and to Voldemort's horror, he was knocked unconscious.
Harry smiled benignly. "It's just you and I, Tom and you don't have your wand nor will you be able acquire another one easily."
Voldemort shrugged his shoulders as if he weren't quaking inside. "Dumbledore told you the prophecy."
Harry raised an eyebrow. "So what if he did? Why would I be stupid enough to tell anyone else? Wormtail has proven that you can't trust your best friends."
Voldemort regarded him shrewdly. "You are not telling the whole truth! I demand that you tell me the prophecy!"
Harry snorted and raised his wand a bit higher. "You aren't exactly in a position to demand anything Tom."
Voldemort felt powerless and petulant. It was not fair to have this stupid child dictating to him as if he were not the greatest wizard alive! "You will leave now! Your messages were delivered." He heard the whining tone in his voice and cringed inwardly. Apparently Harry had heard it as well.
"Temper tantrums and pouts are for babies, not grown men." Harry looked over thoroughly. "Although right now I would say that you don't exactly resemble a man anymore."
"You are nothing but a stupid little boy, playing in a grown wizards world!" Voldemort snarled. "You know nothing of what I can do to you!"
Harry actually had the nerve to laugh, although it sounded hollow and merciless. "I do know what you can do, Tom. You've tried killing off all the people in my life who were important but I assure that your days are numbered." Harry stared hard into his eyes and Voldemort could feel the truth flowing through him. "I make this promise though: you will not succeed much longer. I have not been a boy for a long time and I am making it my mission to destroy you."
Voldemort took an involuntary step backwards at the anger emanating from the boy. Again, maddeningly he felt his eye twitch ever so slightly and cursed silently when he realized that Harry had seen this sign of weakness. I must regain the upper hand! Think! Then it hit him. "Why Harry, I did not realize you could hate me so much." He expected to see him falter at the abrupt change of subject but again the boy surprised him.
"I don't hate you in the way you think I do. I hate you for all of the pain you have caused in all of our lives." Harry took a step forward and Voldemort retreated another step, against his own will. "More than anything I pity you and think of you as weak."
Voldemort's jaw dropped. "I? WEAK?" He rolled in outrage. "I who am the greatest wizard of all time?"
"Do you forget," Harry interrupted. "That you are covered in snot and currently without your wand? A wand that is being consumed by a dog at this very moment."
Voldemort stopped. Damn it the boy has a point! I hate it when other people are right and I'm not! Voldemort felt himself scowl at his thoughts and quickly he dismissed them. It would not do to let these self-defeatist thoughts erode his ego even further. He started on his mantra again, I am the greatest Dark Wizard of all time, I am the greatest Dark Wizard of all time, I am the great-
Harry interrupted his thoughts. "You do not know what it means to love and to trust in others and because of that you are a bitter, lonely old man. You will never be the greatest wizard because you are not respected; you are feared. No one will just let you be who you are because there will always be someone trying to take your power away from you."
Harry's words rang true. Voldemort had feared Snape would make attempt on his life but he was sure that Potter was the Chosen one from the prophecy and if that was the case then Snape could not defeat him. But Harry seemed certain and all Voldemort knew was that these thoughts were causing a massive amount of pressure to build inside his head. "I do not need love, it is for the weak and you will never be loved for yourself but because of who you are!" He knew it was childish but Voldemort felt that he had to lash out in any way that he could.
"Ginny loves me for who I am." Harry replied simply and Voldemort saw the truth in his eyes, felt it in his words and saw that the boy believed it with every fiber of his being. "More important though is that I love her and you won't stop life from going on around you. Your reign of fear will come to and end, and soon."
"You can't be so sure of that." Voldemort muttered softly.
Harry chuckled. "Let me put it this way. I am not the one who got hexed by a 15 year old who also stole my wand and I am on the side that took down all of your Death Eaters." He raised his wands towards Voldemort's eyes. "Haven't you ever read a history book? Good always triumphs over evil in the end."
"It won't this time!" Voldemort felt like a child again, arguing over a toy. It was ridiculous. "If you're so sure you will be able to kill me, why haven't you tried to? I'm defenseless right now… why won't you do it? Go on then…" He let his challenge hang in the air but it didn't hang for long.
Harry's face split into a grin. "I've knocked out your Death Eater that killed Dumbledore and can likely kill you as well, since you are wandless." His perceptiveness at Voldemort's inner-fears was staggering and sent a chill up his spine. "I want you to stew on the thought that you really are not the greatest wizard of all time and you never will be. We all have weakness and I'm determined to find yours." Harry pointed his wand and Snape and muttered, "Ennervate."
Snape began to stir. "Why would you do that?" Voldemort asked him.
Harry laughed softly. "Just wanted to leave you with your most dangerous supporter, awake and ready to overthrow you. Do enjoy your day." With a sop POP Harry was gone.
Voldemort looked down at Snape, who was attempting to stand. Is Harry right? Am I losing my touch? A shudder ran through him and he ran a hand over his face, coating his hand once again in boogies and now ink. Oh damn, this has been a bad day.THE END
IMPORTANT A/N: That's it for this story! I hope you had fun and a lot of laughs. I am coming out with another long story, longer than this one, I mean. It will be a parody on Robin Hood so look for that to come out very soon. If you liked this one, then you'll probably like the next one.
Much Thanks to Ham for your ideas and honesty. On to the next one, right?
Thank you JPx for your encouragement and for being a sounding board for this chapter!
Thank you also to everyone who reviewed! You kept me inspired and made me smile and sometimes gave me great ideas for what to write next! Your words are always appreciated. ywg
JPx- Thanks again!
Harry and Ginny 4eva: Just a bit of H/G
BellonaBellatrix: My favorite line too!
LadyJenny: He is Dumbledore's man and I wanted to convey that. I'm glad you liked it.
RSegovia: OOPS! I do that sometimes and we just don't catch it. Thanks for letting me know!
LoonyLuna48: Thank you! I did show that he loves her, of course because he does, but I thought it was funnier to leave Voldie hanging.
j752572: Thanks! I hope you enjoyed it.
kazziedal: Thank you!
AllylovesHarry: Done! Now I can catch up on your stuff!
Miliardo Peacecraft: No kidding… on to the next long story.
CreativeQuill: I hope you enjoyed what I did with the wand.
Ginebra Brong: Thank you!
realfanficts: YAH! I'm glad you got to laugh so much.
forgetyourwatch: Thanks and I have a lot of help in the wit department.
RonsREALgirl: I'm glad… sort of. I hope you didn't hurt yourself!
Black is the New Pink: Of Course! Harry is just a bit thick!
mosleyn001: Thanks, I'm glad you enjoyed it.
AvengerRevengeVengeanceSisters: GIGGLES! I'm glad it was enjoyed by all.
Chrystyna: Thank you.
REDMONSTER85: Sorry, I know that was evil. I hope you liked the ending.
forbiddenlight: Thanks and yes, this is the last chapter. I hope you enjoyed it.