To my readers,

Sillyness AKA sleep deprivation hits us all at one time... this is my time. WARNING this fic is in no way loyal to the game, I'm inside the story somewhere -I'll let you guess where-, it's just a silly little drizzle piece that will not be going anywhere. If you are expecting a serious writing attempt look else where this is just me playing around and being very bored and sick and tired of writing essays and papers and me venting on the TOS cast.

One Shot RANDOM fic

Words boiled in the back of his throat, were caged behind his lips, to say them would be to bring heck upon himself so therefore he was silent. In the city of angels quiet was always present, it was the citys currency, trademark, harvest. As currency it spilled out from the empty houses and filled the streets with itself. As a trademark every building, paving stone, inch of the ground, bore it's mark. As a harvest it lay out in the streets, filled every nook and craney with a substence that none save him would find sustience in consuming. Silence was his only companion, the angels of Derris Kharlan had turned into little mroe then mist at the death of their leader, it was only Mithos' will that had held them together, only his power, and cut off from it the lifeless beings who were only a mockery of life scumbled to death. Now it seemed unable to scumble to death his only option was to slowly be burned alive from the inside out by those words he dared not say, it was that or go stark raving mad. Having given all his gald to his son on parting he did not even have the means to make that important decision, he'd tried fliping books already, that had met with very poor results, and the statues he was not strong enough to try those... So he decided to let time dictate what was going to happen, and he waited for one or the other event to pass.

The source of his insanity as if prompted by him thinking of it spoke up in his mind.

Say it saaay it I comand you saaay it... I need the plot to move forward so say it!

"Silence! Don't you ever shut up?"

Sometimes... on occasion. Come on please!

"Lloyd could not manipulate my be begging, you wont have that much power over me whoever you are."

Actually... I have more, since I am the most powerfull being in the universe!

"You had a gender change Maxwell? I wasn't aware."

Jerk... You always win, it sickens me you're smarter then I am.

"You sound like Lloyd."

I've been in his head too long he's rubbing off... And no I don't mean it like that, nothing sick or whatever... It's just his word choice is kinda contag.. contug... you know what I mean!

"So's his intellegence by the sound of it."

You just dissed your own son, you are aware of that right?

"Dirk raised him, Raine taught him, his lack of education is not my fault."

Oh boy, so you do point fingers like everyone else huh? Look if you say it I'll help, I'll make it all go away, I swear.

"I wont regret this?"

How am I supposed to know? I ride in your head when you do things in your life, I write it down as I see it, people like it, they praise me for it, and I write more because as much as I've been a passenger in your head you've been one in mine. I don't know how your brain works, I just see the result of it, ascribe my own spin to it, and people like it.

"Did something happen to you as a child perhaps?"

I was dropped several times when I was little... For the love of whatever god you believe in I wasn't serious about the being dropped, stop laughing!

Kratos chuckled quietly, his eyes taking on a vicious glimmer that meant he was doing more then chuckling on the inside.

Jerk! Alright since I can't control you I can't just snap my fingers and make you un-bored, what I can do though is manipulate the 'threads' of existance around you... basically make things for you to bump into and interact with... And before you ask, no I can't bring Anna back, I can't do a resurection fic, anti-canon and all that jazz. What I can do is make a AU fic with Anna alive, maybe make it a Sheoyd fic insteed of Coloyd... but that's for another entree on the Site.

"Why are you combining my son's names with Colette and Sheena's and what in Origin's name is jazz, fic, AU, and the Site?"

You really don't want to know, your whole perception of reality would take another loop-de-loop and your polygon-ish brain would fry. So you say the magic words that are behind those pearly whites and I interfear and have fun torm- I mean relieving your boredom. How's that sound?

"Torm-? Do you mean tormenting?"

No! I was practicing for my ummm Spanish final.. Que pasa?

"I'm going to pretend I didn't hear that and say those words you want, but if this turns into something horrible I'll hunt you down and make what I did to Kvar seem merciful compared to what I do to you."

Heh yeah... I'll keep that in mind... So... Say it! Say it! Show those Genes that you gave to your son!

"I'm growing to hate you."

And I'm a fan girl, your hate gives me more motivation to write all sorts of fanfic about you, and if you're too vocal about it I'll write that piece about you and Anna and your night time activities. And I'll add lots and lots of detail!

Kratos paled, shook, and looked nautios. "You saw!"

No, but I can make stuff up!

"You're a pervert, worse then Zelos."

Stick and stones may break my bones but words will never hurt me... You on the other hand can be very very hurt by my words, I can rip that repute to tatters, wanna see me do it?

"No!" Kratos trembled as he realized he was in the thrawl of a mad woman. "I'll do whatever you say!"

Very good, now then! The voice became chearfull. Drumroll please and now Kratos say your line!

"I'm... bored..."

There's a good Seraphim! I'd pat you on the head and give you a treat but you're armed and in a bad mood so...

There was a blinding flash of light to the west.

There, and done, have fun I'll keep tabs on how this goes.

"Wait!" Kratos sighed, then stroking the hilt of his sword he decided it best to see what the light was. The voice was right about one thing, he no longer was bored. But as what cost? He spent a moment brooding, then with a shrug he began to walk to where the flash of light went off.

xxx xxx xxx

Time was indifferent, it flowed randomly, having no way to gauge it ten minuetes seemed an eternity a year a heart beat. He was unsure of when he got there, to the small capsle, but as he aprouched a circleular pit of steel near the top of the pill shapped vessle shimmered and disapeared and out came the most... well endowed -Anna was going to kill him for thinking this- creature on two legs he had ever seen or imagined about in the dakrest hours of his youth. It was a little too female.. it's upper and lower atributes were so exagerated and it's waist so thin she looked like she had been pinched by some giant's hand. He blushed and tried not to think about how those white robes were designed to show off the woman's feminity. Shame filled him, he was thinking about this woman in the worst way possible. He reached out, gripped at where the locket would have layin over his heart, and the memory of of the locket was enough to banish those impure thoughts.

There was a sting in his back and he forgot Anna, thought only that this woman was the most beautifully tragic creature he had ever layed eyes upon. Every feature, every inch of her began to burn it's way into his mind. The pain though, he reached for it, to stop it so he might beter dwell on the dark haired and eyed woman's pefection...

And in his hands he held a red arrow with a very suspicious comic heart shapped tip. He whirled, and spotted Remial in a bright red pair of robes, flowers were woven through his hair, and his wings were now a garish pink. There was a flash of light, a rain of pink peddles and he was gone. The woman sported an arrow, the pink feather poked out from her hair...

And the look she was giving him...

It was the same look Colette would give a puppy.

Oh God, Origin master of creation save me!

The woman took a step twards him, then another.

Oh Volt, strike me down now, Gnome bury me, Shadow rip me to shreds, any homocidal summon spirit with a way to kill me come forward and do so before she...

"Hello," Her voice was so sweet he could feel his teeth wanting to rot upon hearing it. It was perfection and having lived in Mithos' world of so-called perfection he wanted nothing of it or her. "My names Mary, do you have a name?"

"Yes, but it's none of your concern." He said in his best cold and distant voice that any one sane would take as an insult and leave. This woman winced, her eyes filled with tears and adoration all at once. Kratos felt much like he had kicked a dog.

"Please sir I need your help, my people were all killed and I came here seeking sanctuary..."

"You're people?" Images of more woman like this danced in his head and he fought to keep his stomach contents down.

"Yes, I am half angel, half elf, half human, half dwarf half-"

"How is that even possible? That would debunk the whole of our knowledge of the genetics. It would invalidate all we know about the split between two parent genetic doners during osmosis..."

"Well you see when my mother and my first father..."

He was then givin a very detailed explaination about how it was possible... He shuddered, banished the images, and toned her out before she even got into the third scentence. Unable to take it any more he cut her off ten minuetes in.

"Mrs. Mary-"

"-I'm not married!"

Why doesn't that surprise me? Kratos thought darkly.

"Did I mention I was a telepath?"

"Really, that's interesting... Can I leave you for a few moments, I need to fetch something... alone."

"Oh.. alright..."

Again with the puppy eyes and pathetic lost expression, Kratos ignored it, and walked a good mile off and ducked into an empty building just to be safe. For all he knew she had hearing ten times as good as his.

"Alright what is that thing!"

A Mary Sue, and how'd you know I was here?

"You were snickering." Kratos' voice was so cold ice could have formed on the walls around him. "Well make it go away!"

Sorry I don't kill off my characters on wim, there has to be a plot driven reason. Oh and "it" is called a Mary Sue, I've never writen with one in a story so I thought I'd give it a go.

"A what?"

Ung non-earthers... Alright here's the definition from Dr. Merlin's Guide to Fan Fiction:

You already know Mary Sue. Mary Sue is the perky, bright, helpful sixteen-year-old ensign who beams about the ship. Everyone on the ship likes Mary Sue, because Mary Sue is good at everything. Mary Sue is an engineer, a doctor in training, a good leader, an excellent cook, and is usually a beautiful singer. Mary Sue often has mental powers that may manifest themselves as telepathy, precognition, or magic. Her past is tragic, more so than any other character on the series. (Many Mary Sues have a backstory that reads like a V.C. Andrews novel. This is a clue.) If Mary Sue is very young, she is often the offspring of one or two already established characters. If she's a little older, she will probably end up sleeping with the author's favorite character. Sometimes, she fills both roles. Her name is often the author's name, be it a, a favored nickname, or the author's middle name (this is seen in the most famous Mary Sue of all time, Wesley Crusher, who was named after Trek creator Eugene Wesley Roddenbery). By the end of the story, Mary Sue will be in bed with the desired character, will have beamed away amid cheers from all the regulars, or will be dead, usually accompanied by heavy mourning from the cast. The reader, on the other hand, will be celebrating. BTW, Mary Sue's twin brother can often be identified by his brooding, solitary behaviour, matched by his maverick disregard for authority (for a great example, see the very beginning of TNG's "Hollow Pursuits" alias Barclay, Part One).

Does that answer everything?

"Wait a second 'Mary Sue will be in bed with the desired character'... I'm already married"

Anna's dead.

"I hate you."

But you're my favorite.

"That doesn't give you the right to see me rolling around with some woman that I pray you didn't base off yourself! I swear I'll get my revenge for all of this! Why are you doing this to me!"

Because College is ( the following is censored due to vulgar content) and I need comic relief. And no, she's not based off of me... She's a satire of the over endowed characters that apear in nintendo games and fanfiction... it's supposed to be funny Kratos!

"What can I do?"

Impale yourself with the arrow and be deliriously happy? Came the hesitant reply.

"Oh whoever you are but whom I'll admit are strikingly handsome in your dark and angsty way... are you done yet?"

"Deliriously happy, I'll show you happy..." Kratos growled, breaking the arrow on his knee and then turing to give the cupid Remial a look that persuaded the deceased angel -now reincarnated as the messenger of love- to go ten aulternate realities over to the right.

Kratos.. what are you going to do?

"Get even." The seraphim growled, then forcing a smile he stepped out of the building, a plan already formed in his head.

xxx xxx xxx

She was a good tracker, beter then him. He made no complaints, only asked her to prove herself by finding one hidden place in Welgaia's castle, once known as Mithos' castle. Now knowing about the room he ripped that silly arrow out of her head, and dragged her to the capsel. Insulted she went off to tell her sob story to someone else and flew off in the capsel/ship thing away from the new world he had helped restore. First off to spare Lloyd the sight of that thing and second to save her from a drooling Zelos. The first was more important then the second, infinitly more important, and he honestly didn't even think of the second until she was long gone. But that didn't matter, what mattered was revenge would now be his. He went to the room, kicked in the door, and sword in hand decended the winding stair case. He found another door, unlocked he opened it weary of the soft humm that was on the other side. What he saw left him breathless.

Sitting in a black chair, it's frame made of plastic sporting three wheels and grey cusions, was a girl. Her hair was a brown black as were her eyes. She gapped at him, trembled, and cringed in the seat. Stepping over two lumps of fur and limbs the seraphim went to the computer and read.. he read the trials he had just been put through in black print on the glass and metal monitor.

"Hey Kratos... Nice weather we've been having huh? Hey wait stop!"

Kratos shoved Kasan out of the chair, and movedthe mouse to highlight the text.

"Noooo! I spent an hour on that!"


"Aww man, you know you just destroyed yourself right?"

"Really?" Kratos took the glass of (insert your fav. soft drink brand name here) and took a sip. "Why am I still here then?"

"Umm... you're not supposed to be here... (censored words go here) now I have to write an explaination chapter!"

"Spare the world, don't explain."


"Lloyd wanna be."

"Hey I got Raine on that TOS personality quiz!"

"Good for you. Now hand it over, all of the writing, right now! I don't want any of this on your Site, exspecially if it details..." Kratos flushed. "You know, just hand it over!"

"Spoil sport."

-Kratos aquired Krana fanfic with 300+ page stats!-

"Do you have a life?"

"They're overratted." Kasan smirked. "Scat before I trap you with Zelos for all eternity."

"You said you didn't do reincarnation fics!"

The world shimmered, blured and Kratos found himself at his mansion in Welgaia. There was a flash of light and the paper disapeared from his hands, and another flash of light form another room.

"Huh wha-... Oh man last time I take a hunny after midnight!" Came an all too familier voice, Kratos' gut went like ice. "This has got to be some wild dream." Kratos' bedroom door opened and Zelos stepped out and stared at the Seraphim. "Hello nightmare city..."

About that reincarnation fic thing... I lied! Have fun Kratos!

"I know where you are you..."

Do you really? Well whoop de do I moved! So I guess you don't know! Toodles!

"What's up with you Gramps, finally go over the deep end?"

"No," Kratos sighed. "I'm working on it though."