Author: Nebiru (ex-Kizune)

Disclaimer: I own nothing except the arrangements of words.

Pairings: Tsume/Toboe, Kiba/Hige towards the end; PG-15

Warnings: shounen-ai, yaoi, a bit of violence and swearing.

A/N 2013: This fic was written a very long time ago, when my English and writing skills were really awful. Surprisingly, I found in myself a bit of strength to edit this story at least a little. I'll be deleting the idiotic author's comments throughout the chapters too, and leave the 'thank you'-s only in the end. I understand that even with the adjustments this will never become a really good fiction, as I am not going to re-write it fully, but at least I won't be ashamed of it that much. If you are reading it still in the process of editing, I suggest you wait (if you see author's comments and more inside the next chapters, it means they haven't been edited yet).

Chapter I

At last he saw him today. He looked the same – tall and strong. The wind was caressing his short white hair, and the familiar paleness of the scar on his chest made his eyes water. But almost then Toboe knew: the man standing in front of him wasn't the same. The hidden light of his golden eyes had gone. They were darker now, whispering of years of hardships and pain. He was not Toboe's Tsume anymore.

Toboe sighed, thinking, that he was being pessimistic as always. Tsume may not remember him, but he was still there for him... Well, not exactly for him, but that was the point Toboe intended to change. The mess in his head would have to wait. There was no time, he had to take action, otherwise who knew if there ever would be a chance to find the man again.

With quite an effort Toboe made his inner voice – the one that surprisingly sounded like Hige's - stop and glanced at Tsume one more time. The nerves, fluttering in his stomach, were going to kill him. Tsume was standing among the gang of thieves and, supposedly, giving some orders with his harsh commanding voice. Was he their leader? Remembering the past, Toboe guessed it was no wonder. History tended to repeat itself.

Things were looking as if the group of people were preparing for something grand, but before Toboe could decide, whether he should hide himself until better time or take a risk and reveal himself, the watchful golden eyes had captured the shadow of his figure.

- Hey, you! Come here! - the strict voice left no choice, and suddenly the boy felt very small. In a second all talking and moving around Tsume have stopped, heads turned in the direction, where Toboe stood frozen. People were observing him, the promise of danger in their eyes made Toboe's skin crawl. They weren't just simple gang of thieves, Toboe had come to realization. Among these people there were killers. He could almost feel it, though his wolf senses were long gone - gone together with his previous life.

Feeling his throat go dry, Toboe reached the man and let his gaze fall onto the ground, too afraid to meet Tsume's eyes. Where was his courage when he really needed it? Even after everything that happened, even after living for so many years a completely new, human life, was he still such a silly, pitiful runt? Silently he kept shifting from one foot to the other, until a strong hand grabbed his chin and made him stare at those golden depths, which held no mercy.

- Who are you, kid? I haven't seen you before.

- I'm... Toboe, - he tried to move Tsume's hand away from his chin, unfortunately, but predictably, without any result.

Watching him squirming, the man just grinned:

- So, Toboe, what is it you are here for?

The boy shivered. The hand, which held him captive, moved suspiciously close to his throat. He had to think fast. Clearly, Tsume didn't remember him. The faint hope, that the man would gain his memories upon seeing Toboe still lingered somewhere deep in the boy's naive heart, but was dying quickly.

- I... I... need work... ermm, kinda.

The crowd of gawking thieves behind their backs burst into laughter. Tsume didn't laugh, but judging from the look on his face, his patience was wearing thin.

- Oh, for the love of the... What kind of work are you capable of? - towards the end of the question the grip on Toboe's throat tightened considerably, - Tell me the truth! You're a spy, aren't you?

Toboe didn't have a clue what to do next. The answer: "Hey, Tsume! Don't you remember we were wolves and went to paradise together?" seemed a little bit... an unwise thing to say. So he did the only thing he could - reaching Tsume's scar with his trembling hand, in barely more than a whisper, he told him the truth:

- I like you.

For a moment Toboe could swear something changed in the man's gaze, but then he was thrown face-down on a cold concrete floor, and despair spread its wings inside his consciousness, as he heard Tsume's cold voice:

- So you want a job, kid. You'll get it. As well as the lesson: it seems to me you don't really know the way you should talk with the adults.

Tsume nodded to his thieves, and the gang smiled knowingly. With wicked smiles and giggles, pleased growls and dirty comments they advanced on him - if Toboe wasn't afraid before, he certainly was now. Someone grabbed and pulled him from the floor. He expected the punches and kicking, but ugly hands didn't leave his body as he thought they would. Instead someone started unbuttoning his shirt.

- Hey! What-what are you doing? - whined Toboe, trying to extricate himself from the strong grip.

Panic was seizing him. This could not be happening! By Tsume's order, right under his uncaring eyes? No, never!

Toboe shivered as he felt the belt, holding his baggy green jeans, had been removed. Was it all over for him? He was not a fool. He knew they'd never let him leave alive, after they were done with him. Tears threatened to fall, but he just bit his lip. He had seen death, after all. He was not going to fall apart and give even more pleasure to this sadistic crowd. He'd do his best.

Suddenly there was Tsume - arms embraced his slim waist, pulled him closer to the warm muscled body, and it was all that mattered. Even if it was a lie. Toboe let his head fall tiredly on Tsume's shoulder. If he could die like this, he thought, then it would be enough.

- Ha... So willing! Kid, aren't you afraid I'm gonna rape you?

- Just, please, let it… be you, - answered Toboe honestly, and honestly didn't even believe his own ears. These bastards were going to rape him, hurt him and eventually - kill him. And he was standing in the arms of a man who dared to give such an awful order, and was selfishly whishing this moment to never end!

Damn it all, though, he was too tired to be scared. His search had been long. And he was here now, with Tsume.


In a blink of an eye Tsume's world was coming to an end. Not only that runt said he liked him, but also he was now as willing to hand over himself to the man as only the last whore would be. He felt the boy close to start crying, but surprisingly the tears had not come.

Strangely enough the sensation of holding the boy in his arms was somewhat pleasant and calming. Like everything suddenly became right in the world. Not that he really wanted to rape a child, but to frighten him a little to make him speak. He was expecting fear, struggling, despair but not this awkward feeling of acceptance from the boy. Acceptance, which reminded him about something... that shouldn't have been forgotten.

Tsume growled inwardly at the odd thought and pushed Toboe away:

- Lock him in the dungeons. And let's get moving. We don't have much time.

That's right. He had a work to do. He'll deal with the strange boy later.


The room they took him to, or perhaps better to say a cell, was too dark and too dirty. Toboe tried to keep his head up as he entered, but the unbearable stench filled his lungs and made him grimace. Though there were no dead bodies around, Toboe could easily imagine that this was the place, where they'd keep the dead victims until they could move the bodies without the fear of being caught.

One of the guards laughed, seeing his obvious discomfort:

- Nobody did ask you, boy, to come here. Our boss doesn't like newcomers, especially when they are as young as you. So you better impress him when we'll get back. Otherwise... I, myself, would be very pleased to play with you a little.

With that the man locked the cell and quite soon disappeared from sight, the haughty sneer still on his face.

Toboe collapsed on the floor, trembling from cold. His body was slowly going into shock. Why, the hell, did he remember everything? Whatever for? Why were such things always happening to him?

There was no paradise for him in this world. He guessed there'd never be one.

Memories he kept dear to his heart, resurfaced. It was painful to think that since his birth his new life could easily be called a paradise. He had a loving family: his mother with long bright hair and blue eyes – strict but tender and understanding; his father – brown eyes always winked slyly at him; and, of course, his little sister, whose funny whining voice he still couldn't forget:

'- Toby, tell me a story about a happy monster!

- Oh, sis', monsters can't be happy.

- Why?

- Because they're evil.

- Not all of them! I want a story!

- Oh, all right, listen. Once upon a time...'

Every weekend they would go to the park or to the cafe and laugh and live and be happy. Until one summer rainy evening.

Toboe didn't really remember that much about the accident. He only heard his father shouting something and then there was an awful squeak of the brakes. Next thing he knew he woke up at hospital, doctors standing over him, sadly looking at him, telling him about his family. His parents died at once, his little sister struggled for her life for sometime, but died eventually. He was the only survivor.

He cried, for how long he didn't remember.

Except that one morning he opened his eyes and saw a book lying on his bed. It was a silly book. Some child from the common hospital room must have left it. It was a book about the monster, a happy one, to be exact. This creature gave his life away to make other people happy. And for his kindness the God let him enter the gates of Heaven where so many flowers bloomed, among them blooming proudly the lunar flower as white as the clouds in the sky and as silver as only moon can be.

That was the line which blinded him. The book fell on the floor, when memories rushed into his head, making him dizzy, making his tears flow even more.

It didn't take him long to escape from the hospital. Having no family left, now he wished only to find his friends. Dead or alive - he had sworn that he would find them. He had to.

But now that he'd seen Tsume he wasn't so sure about his plans anymore. He had a lot to think about.

If only this parody of cell wasn't so cold, making him curl up into a ball.