Disclaimer: Hickory dikory dock. Elves around the clock. They're off to fight for my delight, hickory dikory dock. Hickory dickory dock. Hobbits around the clock. Not mine today, oh they shall paaaaaayyyyy…. Hickory dickory dock.
AN: Welcome to the Squirrel Chronicles Part II. Refreshments are in the corner, music requests can be made, make yourself at home. I was originally planning on having one squirrel fic only, but certain people wanted more, so here it is… a new series! Go me… -twirls finger-
"Estel! Why are you still in bed?" Legolas thundered up the stairs, footsteps falling lightly, yet still managed to convey high impatience. He flung open the human's door and stopped short.
The human was huddled under a blanket, although it was a beautiful spring morning. He looked up, sniffled, and said miserably, "I'b sick."
Legolas moved forward and sat down. "What does 'sick' mean? And you do realize that there is no 'b' in either of those words, right?"
Estel groaned. He hated explaining sickness to elves, the fair beings immune to such things. "Bae govadden, by the way."
Legolas' reply was short and to the point. "Huh?"
"He said 'mae govannen', " Elrond translated, coming into the room. "And I will say it as well. Mae govannen, penneth. No, don't bother to get up. We are equals here, you know this."
Legolas settled for shaking Elrond's hand warmly. "What's wrong with him?"
"Hib is dot deaf!" Estel snapped. "I'b sick!"
The prince burst out laughing. He couldn't help it. The human's adolescent voice cracked, and there was also the apparent problem with the letters 'm' and 'n'.
Elrond took pity on his adopted son and explained to the much younger elf about colds, sore throats, stuffed noses, (at first, Legolas thought that humans actually stuffed the noses) pneumonia, flu, and sinus irritations. When he was done, he bid the two good day and retreated to his study.
Legolas instantly moved from the chair to the bed. "All right, in as little words as possible, is there any thing I can do to make you feel better?"
The elf looked so worried and helpful, that Estel almost took pity on him. But the image of a squirrel posed like a demon over his bed in the middle of the night stopped him. "Okay. Actually, there is…"
"No. Absolutely not. Not if it was the last act I did on Arda."
"Oh, please?" Estel pleaded. "It'd bake be feel better." He sneezed.
"Ok, first of all, that last one was fake. Secondly, do you have any idea how hard it would be to get a hold of one of Arwen's dress robes? She guards them extremely well after that last incident. We ruined her best robe after it caught on that tree!"
"You're sbart—clever! Get by brothers to help! Besides, it was just od, right?" The guilty look on the elf's face told him otherwise. "How bany did you ruid, exactly?"
A pause while Legolas sorted out the babble. "Well, if you count the ones that were the twin's fault as well as mine, you get up to the hundreds I think. Ask them, they keep a running count."
Companiable silence descended. For about twenty seconds. Estel gave a tiny sniffle and asked pathetically, "Please?"
Legolas began to laugh helplessly.
Estel tried to glare viciously, but sneezed instead. This only made the elf laugh harder.
When the prince had finally calmed down, he began to talk, as much to hear his own voice as to steer the conversation away from such deadly topics. "I suppose your Ada won't let you come camping with us. The twins and I had a great trip planned."
"Oh really? Great for all of us, or just you? Which of us would come home half dead? What were you goig to do, push be in the river? Or attract the orcs with your awful singing?"
Legolas fought to look innocent. "I'm going to overlook that last comment because you're sick, and as for the other… you're much too young to be so cynical."
"That's what they say about you."
"Ha ha. Now, is there anything I can do to cheer you up that doesn't involve me in a dress?" As Estel opened his mouth, Legolas hurried on, "OR flowers, dress robes, wreaths, or anything that involves female apparel."
Estel scowled. "Be that way. Would you go get by brothers then? They owe be sub things. What better tibe to collect a debt?"
Legolas fled, privately thinking that there was no way said twins would be coaxed into a dress, no matter how high the debt.
Personally, he intended to give the sickroom a wide berth until he judged all of the human's terrifying notions gone.
Elrond surveyed his human son critically. "No, I think you should stay here for dinner tonight."
"Oh Ada, please? I've got to be there, I've got a great plad for that—uh…" Elrond was looking at him with a raised eyebrow. "Please?"
"This wouldn't have anything to do with revenge on Legolas, now would it?"
Estel shrugged and tried to look clueless. "If it was, he would certainly deserve it, right?"
Elrond couldn't exactly argue with that. Ever since the great 'squirrel incident' as it was known around Rivendell, Legolas had reveled in Estel's wariness of squirrels. You could never exactly be sure when a stuffed squirrel was going to appear, whether it be perched on Estel's headboard, or swooping down on him from a wire.
"How much damage will be caused?"
"Probably total destructiod, but he'll dever torture with squirrels agaid."
Elrond threw up his hands in defeat. "Fine! But if you get any sicker you'll drink some of my herbs."
The threat of nasty tasting herbs was enough to give Estel some slight hesitation, but the lure of seeing his plan put into action was too great. "Deal."
The Wood-elf prince slipped into the dining hall last, warily noting the seated human next to his own empty space. This did not bode well. He resolved to be extremely careful throughout the dinner.
Quickly and discreetly checking his chair for signs of tampering, he sat, just as the first course was brought out. The twins, seated across from him, gave innocent smiles. This only heightened Legolas' uneasiness. The twins did not know what a real look of innocence was. They were always involved somehow…
"I thought you were sick." Legolas muttered to Estel out of the corner of his mouth.
"I'm better now." Estel took great care to pronounce the words right, he couldn't have some garbled words messing up his revenge, now could he?
"Mm hmm." The prince reached for a plate of rice, glancing all about for signs of the coming storm.
The first course continued in much the same way. By the end, Legolas was so jumpy that the twins began to compare him to a squirrel. Legolas shot them all death glares and tried to make himself relax.
Next came the platters. Hidden underneath each of the silver domes, was a plate of food that gave off a delicious smell of roast turkey, cooked until tender.
Now, this was the part Legolas should have been wary of. But the smells tickling his nose were too good to ignore, if only for a second. Besides, he had spent the entire day far away from the house of Rivendell, therefore lessening his chances of running into the Edain. He had missed lunch, and he was hungry.
So, with barely a glance to see if the platter was triggered, he lifted the dome, fork in hand.
The fork went flying and the happy silence of chewing elves (and one human) was broken by a startled yell.
A small furry bundle of fur flew at the elf's face, scaring him into jerking backwards in his chair. The said chair tipped, spilling its contents across the floor. The entire hall stared in surprise as the scene before them became apparent.
Legolas had hit the floor and rolled, then scrambled forwards. Now he stood with his back to the table, eyes fixed downwards.
The squirrel perched on the upturned chair and squeaked indignantly at its intended victim. The victim calmed down enough to send a positively vicious glare at Estel. Then he started forward to reclaim his chair.
The squirrel gave a final squeak and then did something that surprised everyone in the room. It charged.
Legolas Greenleaf, warrior and prince of Mirkwood, shrieked. Yes, shrieked. A shocked and strangled sound that the twins and Estel would remember for the rest of their days.
He scrambled backwards and fell onto the table. The squirrel scrabbled madly at the elf's face and neck, alternately scratching and tickling unmercifully.
"Get—it—off!" Legolas pleaded. His own hands fought to grip the little rodent, but the squirrel evaded his grasp. He twisted violently and fell off the table.
Poor Legolas. Not one single elf in the room moved to help him. They were all laughing too hard.
Chattering incessantly, (much like the twins) the squirrel boxed the elf's nose twice and leaped off, racing across the hall and out one of the doors. Legolas grasped the table and pulled himself to his feet.
His fair face was a brilliant red, partly from the squirrel's insane attack, but mostly from embarrassment. "You—" he gasped, locking onto Estel with snapping blue eyes. "You are the most—"
He started toward the human with outstretched hands, intent on throttling him. Elrond intercepted the elf just in time. "Calm yourself, penneth. Killing him would only invoke my wrath, and trust me, you do not want that."
Identical snickers on his left caused the furious elf's glare to latch onto Elladan and Elrohir. "And you—you helped him!"
Two sets of shoulders rose and fell in a shrug.
"This is war!" The wood-elf exclaimed vehemently. He stalked out of the hall, face still burning. Seconds later, and anguished yell echoed through the hall. The squirrel had dropped a nut down the elf's shirt, and it wanted the acorn back.
AN: Well, whatcha all think? Is it as good as the first one? I'd like to thank all the reviewers from Arguments and Attack of the Squirrels, it was their call of more! that I followed…
RebelElf777, Deana, Misendure, Elanor Baggins, A. NuEvil, Atremis1000, Cute little Legolas, Daethule, darklink231, and kingmaker.
Oh, and before anyone tells me, yes, I know that Estel (Aragorn, for all you strange people who haven't read the books, shame on you) does not meet Arwen until he is 20. I have him portrayed as 14 or 15 in these chronicles. I have just twisted the timeline a bit to better suit my needs. If this bothers anyone, I'm sorry, but that's the way it is. But no saying that I don't know what I'm talking about!