The air popped and nine Hellsings fell from the sky. At the same time nine others ran into the clearing, panting. A second later nine more were led by a man in a fedora. Finally they were all together.

Dartagnan turned to them, a dark expression crossing his face "Armand and Corbin." he said calmly. Armand and the dark man from the haunted house appeared. "You lost your charges." he said.

The two men nodded, not looking him in the eye "I lost them but for a minuet." Armand said.

"I was just about to come after them." Corbin added.

"Don't disappoint me again." their boss said.

Bogart cleared his throat "Uh… Boss-man? How long is this all going to take? I'm going to be late for a meeting with my publisher."

"It won't take too long." Dartagnan said, turning back to Setsuna. "Now, everyone together." All of the family got together in one group; Raye, Bunny, and Setsuna in the front.

Bunny glanced at her sisters "You know, mom's gonna get pissed at us if we die."

Setsuna grinned "Yeah, and Dad'll have to deal with her and the triplets by himself."

Raye pouted "And the triplets will have to grow up without their older siblings. That's not very fair."

It was as if the magic words were spoken. A portal opened and out walked a woman with long wavy blonde hair pulled back from her face in a half pony tail. Her eyes were a deep amethyst, contrasting to her pale skin. She was extremely tall and slender, accented by the baby blue bodice of her gown. The gown looked as if it were stolen from Camelot, as the jeweled bodice led to overflowing skirts. The neckline was low and jewel covered while the sleeves went past her fingertips. Her face held a royal look as she walked like a queen.

To her right walked the man recognized as Gregory, the father of the Hellsing children. His purple hair barely hid the green velvet cloth that covered his eyes. He wore a dark blue silk shirt with loose sleeves covering his arms and almost covering his hands. It was tucked into dark green linen pants that were tucked into black knee-high boots. His tan skin looked creamy close to such bright colours. A grin graced his lips.

To her left floated three toddlers. The one girl had short violet and blonde hair that accentuated rather than hid her violet eyes. She wore a blue shirt that hid her crossed legs from view. A cat's tail and ears twitched, making her look a little less human. One of the boys had short black hair with a white streak down the right side. His eyes tilted up, which mixed with the colour of green made him look feline. He was also cross-legged, though he wore a black t-shirt and purple shorts. As he yawned, fangs flashed. The last of the triplets had shoulder-length white hair and black eyes. Grey pants were his only clothes. Stuck in his mouth was a peppermint stick.

Once everyone was out of the portal it disappeared. The woman opened her mouth to speak "Dartagnan Nichole McElder. What would your mother think if I told her that you were making your life as a villain?"

Gregory shook his head "I am so disappointed that you would choose this career."

The lackeys laughed but when Dartagnan glared at them they stopped "Mrs. Hellsing, Mr. Hellsing I'm sorry but this really doesn't concern you. This is just between Setsuna and I. The rest of your children just tagged along."

"That's because Koenma has put out a warrant for your arrest, and since all of my children except the triplets are spirit detectives they all came to arrest you."

Raye, Bunny and Setsuna as well as the original spirit detectives all gapped at the Hellsing mother "We're ALL spirit detectives???"

Their mother tilted her head to one side "Yes… didn't you know that?"

"NO!" they said.

"Although that does make sense…" Setsuna said thoughtfully.

"He played us from the beginning. Making us think it was just you three!" Yusuke said angrily.

"Uh… excuse me… Evil Villain here?" Dartagnan got their attention.

"Why did you become an Evil Villain anyway?" Raye asked.

"Well… with a name like Dartagnan do you blame me for being a bit fucked up?"

They all nodded sagely. "Your parents were a bit odd." the Hellsing mother said.

Dartagnan shook himself. "Well anyway. That doesn't matter anymore. In a minuet this part of time and space will be obliterated. Oh and you'll find you wont be able to time warp out. Sorry you all have to be blinked out of existence. I was just going to get Setsuna but… well… you all kinda tagged along."

Everyone gaped at him "WHAT?"

"Dude not cool! I have a meeting in five minuets!" Bogart said

"I'm too pretty to die!" Armand exclaimed.

"This was not what I signed up for." Corbin groaned.

Raye glanced at her mother. She nodded back. "Sorry everyone." she said.

Kurama looked over at her "Why?"

Everything went black.

When they woke up they were all in an abandoned theatre with Koenma on the stage. "Ah it looks like you're all awake, good. Raye-chan said you'd wake up soon."

"What happened?" Catty asked.

"I had to shut your consciousness off so that mom could reconfigure time and space." Raye explained "She couldn't let your minds disrupt her work, which it would have done. She had to have ultimate control."

Everyone nodded as if they understood.

"What happened to the Evil Dudes?" Takishi asked.

"Oh good question." Koenma said. He opened a cat carrier. Out walked two white cats and two black cats. He pointed to the first white cat. "That is Dartagnan."

"Who I named Nee'chee!" Raye said proudly.

He pointed to the next white cat "That is Armand."

"Also known as Josephine." Raye smiled wickedly.

The first black cat was indicated "That is Bogart."

"or Aubrey"

"I guess he never made it to his meeting." Setsuna hazarded.

Then the last black cat was pointed out "And that is Corbin.

"or Sabbath!" Raye exclaimed "We get to keep them, right Setsuna?"

"I don't know Raye…"

"PLEASE???" She looked at her sisters with puppy dog eyes.

"Okay. Fine."

"Cool."

The mother of all Hellsings walked on stage. Koenma bowed to her "Thank you for your help Gwenafar."

"You are most welcome Koenma Jr. It was my pleasure." she turned to the crowd. "And thank you children. You did most well. Everyone may now go back home for some refreshments… all except Bunny, Raye, Setsuna and their friends. You six come to the front please."

Soon the they were all alone. The girls stood in a line in front of their mother, their beaus behind them. "First of all, I believe you left one of your friends tide to a chair in your house?"

They exchanged glances "Oopse… poor Kuwabara." Raye said.

"Now, try not to let that happen again."

"Yes ma'am."

"Second, I'm glad you were able to make friends. You three sometimes can be so anti-social. And third I believe you guys need a vacation. You are relieved of your duties for a while, why don't you guys go someplace you've never been before?" she said smiling.

"Thanks mom." Setsuna said.

"Of course, honey. I'll leave you alone now." she walked out of the theatre.

The girls turned to their boys "How does Cancun sound?" Setsuna asked.

"Whatever. I don't care as long as I get to sleep." Yusuke said.

"Aw but sleeping is so unfun!" she said smiling.

"Oh I don't know, I guess it depends on who you're sleeping with." he grinned.

She playfully slapped him before dragging him into a kiss.

Raye looked up at Kurama "Sorry you almost got killed." she said.

"It's okay. It happens all the time." he said, leaning down to kiss her.

Bunny raised an eyebrow at Hiei "So… you want to say something sappy like these losers or do you just wanna make out?"

Before she could blink his lips were pressed against hers.

The wind pushed hard against the couples. This was kind of odd because they were in a building. It was also kind of strange that the air kept on blowing harder and harder. It also felt like it was sucking more than blowing.

Raye's eyes widened as she realized what was going on "Oh crap."

It hit Bunny next "Oh man I am so going to never talk to mom again."

Setsuna remained blissfully unaware as she proceeded to cling onto Yusuke. Soon it became unignorable as her feet were lifted from the ground "What the… oh FUCK!"

Bunny, Raye and Setsuna were being sucked into a portal. They tried to keep a hold of their spirit detectives, but finally the portal won. The last thing they saw were hands trying to grab hold of them.

END


Author: I know. I suck ass. Big fat monkey ass.

Setsuna: WHY DID YOU END THAT??? I WAS ABOUT TO GET LAID!!

Author: I'm sorry, but an idea hit me and I had to have you in another dimension.

Raye: I hate it when that happens.

Author: so if you want to see what happens next go see my BRAND NEW story The Hellsings go to Hogwarts… oh yeah… I went there…

Willow: Notes… the last ones…

1) Gwen, Gregory, and the triplets were all created by moi. I'm special.

2) Yeah, they are all spirit detectives. That was my intention all along. Remember, the reason I started writing this story is so I could have a quiz "Which member of the Hellsing sibling are you?" which I will start on now that this is done. Look for it on Quizilla, I am VampireBelleMorte

3) Raye made me turn them into cats. It's her not me

4) Raye has super mind powers. That's how come she was able to do what she did.

5) If any of you would like to become a member of the Hellsing family, message me! I will give you a form to fill out (name, favourite colour etc) and you shall become a sibling. WOOT!