If I were the rain
'If I were the rain, binding the earth and sky for all eternity never to mingle, would I have the power to bind two lonely hearts together?'
---Orihime Inoue (Bleach)
"Why do we come here?" He asked me. It startled me, I must admit. My brother tended to do that from time to time. It never ceases to amaze me. When I change, it's very minute and it would take years of knowing me well to see it.
So obviously, no one did.
He looked at me with expectant eyes and I realized that I hadn't provided him with an answer yet.
"You know why," He looked at me, the shadows darkening around the eyes, "It's the day when—,"
"I know which day it is," He cut me off, brusque and that cap of his hid his eyes well. He knew he couldn't look me in the eye when he felt slightly guilty or angry. I do not know if his method works, but today of all days, I won't tolerate it. He sighed and pushed the long blue bangs off his face. I never had that problem because my bangs naturally stayed away from my face.
"I want to know…" He trailed off and stared at the gray slab of stone in front of him. It was at least fifteen years old and there were traces green moss growing on the bottom of it. The others around were much older, probably dating centuries back. This was, after all, the Kinomiya graveyard.
I laid the flowers down and looked up at the sky, the wind running gentle fingers through my hair. My brother hasn't looked up from his position near the grave. I frowned. His hand clutched the bouquet of sunflowers so tightly that I almost heard the stems snapping from the force.
"Takao?" I questioned quietly.
He asked this question every time we showed up for Mother's anniversary. After all, I held those memories with me, while all Takao could do was hear and for him, that simply wasn't enough. Takao needed to know. In a battle, he needed to know he had support. That's when Kai was there. And Kai left him.
That nearly shattered his self-confidence and not many could see it. I hated Kai for that. I still do.
He was waiting to get out of my reverie.
I sighed and pointed to a bench near the graveyard. We sat down and I began.
"She was bright and—."
Takao shook his head.
"That's not true, is it Hitoshi?"
I was taken aback, "What?"
"You're lying to me." He looked at me for the first time and I was shocked to see the rims of his shadowy eyes filled with angry tears, "You always do this!" He shouted, "Why won't you tell me what she was really like?"
"Can you handle it Takao?" I said sternly. Inwardly, I was wondering what would come out of this. Will we argue like we did before and separate? Could Takao handle his brother leaving him behind for the second time in a row?
"What makes you think I can't!" Takao all but screamed. His eyes were whirling, like the eye of a hurricane. His lips were taut and set, "What makes you think I can't handle things you can't!"
"Because you can't," I cut him off, "You couldn't handle the fact that Kai will always hurt and yet you linger on to the belief that he is blameless always. Stop being a saint otherwise you will never realize what a Judas Kai really is!" I was shouting. That is rare, but I hated the way Kai stepped all over him. Takao deserved more from his teammates. He deserved so much more!
I stopped and looked at my brother's reaction. He bent his head down once again and I felt myself moved between pity and rage. I wanted him to scream at me and blame me or something!
"Kai doesn't have anything, you know," He said quietly, "He doesn't have a home, or family, or teammates. He only has me. He knows this all too well. That's why he left. To see if he can move onwards without me. And if I can do the same without him."
"I know you hate Kai. I know you said those things now to hurt me and in the process heal. I know you're trying to make me stronger. But," He left that hanging, "Don't blame Kai for something he can't control. Rei left. So did Max. How can you blame only Kai?"
I said nothing. I wasn't often chastised by my younger brother, but when I was, I never took what he said for granted.
'If I was the rain, binding the Earth and Sky for all eternity never to mingle, would I have the power to bind two lonely hearts together?'
"She was an odd person," I began lightly. Takao raised his head, "She smoked quite often and her face was rather cherubic. But it was her voice that caught my attention when I was a child. She had a strong rippling voice that savored a limelight for itself. She was weak. Climbing stairs would have her breathing heavily. Her hair was often dull, but when she entered the sunlight, it shone like an ocean with glistening waves. She was unique. Not beautiful, but strong. She hung onto you until the very end."
I stopped to look at Takao. He was crying softly, but there was a quiet smile under the red cap. I smiled at this. I opened my arms and he went into them, still crying softly.
We were still there when the Sun set over our faces and Takao's sobs had longed died away. We sat there silently, letting the comfortable ease away the ache and anger we had so long buried in the tombstones of our hearts. Takao shifted slightly in my arms.
"Should we go now?" He asked, his voice soft and almost heavy. I think he was slightly groggy and needed sleep.
"Yeah," I flipped him the car keys, "Get the car ready. I'll be there in a minute."
He looked at me skeptically and nodded, "Don't take too long."
"I won't," I watch him walk down, a tune in his whistling. I looked at Mother's gravestone once more. The shadows were settling into the inscribed letters, giving off an ominous feel.
The epitaph read—
If I was the rain, binding the Earth and Sky for all Eternity never to mingle, would I have the power to bind two lonely hearts together?
I believed you would Mother, I thought to myself, in fact, I think you have already just accomplished that.
With that, I headed down the hill, where Takao was waiting for me. Like he had always had.