Disclaimer-I don't own Digimon, but if I did, Kouji'd probably hate me for two reasons-his bandana would constantly disappear and his attitude would change.
Summary-One Shot Kouichi gets a little bit too annoyed by his twin and resorts to something Kouji never thought possible.
A/N-Warning...a very OOC Kouji and Kouichi ahead. If you don't like, sorry, flame instead, but it's for the comedy.
Kouji was bored. And when Kouji was bored, that meant torture for Kouichi.
How very sad that at this very moment, Kouichi was trying to read something important.
"KOUICHI I'M BORED!" Kouji wailed, slouching as he swaggered into the living room and dropped onto the couch beside his twin.
Kouichi twitched visibly. "Kouji, if you're BORED, then go DO SOMETHING," he said, trying to keep calm. Unfortunately, where Kouji was involved, that wasn't possible anymore.
It had been about last month when Kouji asked if he could stay over on weekends. Of course, Kouichi's mom, being as nice as she was, agreed.
But this was going a bit too far. Although he was sincere at the time, Kouji was all but sane. He was more childish now. After their adventure in the digital world, Kouji dropped his 'lone-wolf' act and tried to make friends.
That, however, led to the Kouji we see here.
Sure, Kouichi liked the fact that his twin was making friends, but his twin (which he denied wasn't really his twin, frequently, too) was just the tiniest bit hyper nowadays. No, make that very hyper and very annoying.
Kouichi had become quite the opposite. He conversed with people very little and liked to keep as invisible as possible. But, as he was attending school with Kouji (much to his dismay), that was a bit impossible. Actually, not possible at all. Because practically everyone in the school knew Kouji, as either a friend, an enemy, or someone to beat up. And so, those who liked to beat up Kouji would instead beat up his twin.
Kouichi let them. More motivation to kill Kouji.
However, there was that one time where he had gotten two black eyes, and worse damage...
And had nearly stormed into Kouji's house. The only things that stopped him from doing so were Takuya, Junpei, and the fact that his father was there and he could use it against Kouji later.
That weekend, Kouichi turned Kouji into a personal slave for two whole days.
"KOUJI! IT HURTS AGAIN!" Kouichi groaned, adjusting the ice pack.
Kouji ran in. "Uh...anything you want me to do?" he asked nervously, terrified. Attempting to sit up, Kouichi nodded, "Yeah, get me some chocolate pudding." After a thought, he fell back down and rested a hand on the icepack over his eyes. "Oh, and ice cream," he added as an after thought, "and don't forget, lots of chocolate syrup. And don't get chocolate ice cream. Get vanilla."
Kouji ran in. "Uh...anything you want me to do?" he asked nervously, terrified.
Attempting to sit up, Kouichi nodded, "Yeah, get me some chocolate pudding." After a thought, he fell back down and rested a hand on the icepack over his eyes. "Oh, and ice cream," he added as an after thought, "and don't forget, lots of chocolate syrup. And don't get chocolate ice cream. Get vanilla."
Yes, Kouichi was much more clever and sly than he looked. That had happened for two days straight. Kouichi ordered his brother to do something, and Kouji did it, so his brother wouldn't kill him in some way or another.
Regardless of the fact that Kouji had worked so hard those days, the next week, Kouichi snuck through Kouji's room and found his stock of bandanas. Upon coming out of the hospital after the incident in the digital world, the two had what they called, 'twin time,' where they shared bits of each other's lives. Kouichi had learned his brother had over one hundred bandanas, all of the same design. And that fact had come to his advantage. Sunday, when Kouji woke up, more than half of them were gone.
"MY BANDANAS!" screamed Kouji, searching through his closet frantically. "WHAT HAPPENED TO MY BANDANAS!"
Kouichi stood at the door, a smirk plastered on his face. "Serves you right." Kouji looked up at his twin with wide eyes. "YOU TOOK MY BANDANAS!" He shook his head. "Didn't take," replied Kouichi, "BURNED. They're still burning, actually. The last ten that I took, I mean." Screaming, Kouji ran to the living room, only to find his bandanas in ashes. "A-all...62 of them!" he stuttered, turning to Kouichi and yelling, "WHAT DID YOU DO THAT FOR!" Kouichi's gaze hardened into a glare. "FOR ME GETTING BEATEN UP! THEY BROKE MY ARM, YOU STUPID IDIOT! I SWEAR! SOMETIMES, I WONDER IF YOU'RE MY TWIN!" "I AM YOUR TWIN! I'M THE BETTER ONE TOO! AT LEAST I DON'T BURN YOUR HATS!" retorted Kouji. His twin snorted, "Don't be stupid. I only have one hat, and if you burned that, you wouldn't be alive right now." "BUT MY BANDANAS!" "You have exactly how many more?" Kouichi snapped. "I recall seeing over fifty more in your stupid messy closet. Clean that thing once in a while!"
Kouichi stood at the door, a smirk plastered on his face. "Serves you right."
Kouji looked up at his twin with wide eyes. "YOU TOOK MY BANDANAS!"
He shook his head. "Didn't take," replied Kouichi, "BURNED. They're still burning, actually. The last ten that I took, I mean."
Screaming, Kouji ran to the living room, only to find his bandanas in ashes. "A-all...62 of them!" he stuttered, turning to Kouichi and yelling, "WHAT DID YOU DO THAT FOR!"
Kouichi's gaze hardened into a glare. "FOR ME GETTING BEATEN UP! THEY BROKE MY ARM, YOU STUPID IDIOT! I SWEAR! SOMETIMES, I WONDER IF YOU'RE MY TWIN!"
"I AM YOUR TWIN! I'M THE BETTER ONE TOO! AT LEAST I DON'T BURN YOUR HATS!" retorted Kouji.
His twin snorted, "Don't be stupid. I only have one hat, and if you burned that, you wouldn't be alive right now."
"BUT MY BANDANAS!"
"You have exactly how many more?" Kouichi snapped. "I recall seeing over fifty more in your stupid messy closet. Clean that thing once in a while!"
That had been the beginning of Kouichi's threats. Every time Kouji annoyed him in any way, a bandana would be at stake. And right now, Kouichi was tempted to burn Kouji himself.
"Kouichi, why don't you have video games?" Kouji whined, swaying from side to side on the couch. "Takuya has video games, Junpei has video games...Tomoki does too! Why don't you?"
Kouichi flipped a page of his book. "Because, you stupidly pathetic excuse for a twin, I don't bother. If you want, you can bring your own video game things here. I don't need one," he snapped irritably. "And stop bugging me. I'm studying."
"What's the point of studying? It's not gonna help you. You're already smart!"
Groaning at his twin's stupidity and childishness, Kouichi book marked the page and glared at his brother. "LOOK, Kouji, I'm not the one who failed almost all my tests last week. And the only reason I aced them and you didn't is because I studied, you stupid idiot. And that's why I'm smart. BECAUSE I STUDY! AND YOU DON'T. I DON'T EVEN THINK YOU'RE MY TWIN!"
This made Kouji break into a wide grin. "You think, but do you know?" he asked, grinning even wider.
Trying not to break under pressure, Kouichi drew a breath and calmly walked to Kouji's room, trying not to stomp. He returned with a handful of bandanas. "I've got at least THIRTY here. Annoy me any more, and they're all gone."
Gulping, Kouji's eyes widened as he stared at his precious bandanas. I really need to find a better hiding place, he thought, watching Kouichi go back to his book. "Alright, fine, I'm going to go over to Takuya's house!" he grumbled, giving in.
Satisfied, Kouichi kept reading, ignoring Kouji, who sulked out the door.
"I'm HOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOME!" Kouji yelled throwing open the door and parading in. He wore a big grin on his face, one that made people wonder if he was sober or not. If he wasn't, he was now. As his eyes scanned the room, all he saw was Kouichi sitting on the couch, left arm resting on the couch's arm, his right hand holding up his cell phone as he chatted away. "Wh...WHAT HAPPENED TO MY BANDANAS?" screamed Kouji, his eyes growing even wider than before.
Kouichi looked back from the phone. "Wh...OH, Kouji, it's just you. Yeah, wait a second, Izumi." He turned around fully as he put the phone down, staring at his twin. "What's wrong with you?"
"WHERE. ARE. MY. BANDANAS?" Kouji asked.
Snickering, Kouichi went back to the phone. "I didn't burn them, if that's what you were wondering," he told his twin. Ha. He's definitely the stupid one if he's my twin. But he's not my twin, and he's stupid anyway, Kouichi thought, continuing his conversation with Izumi.
Sighing in relief, Kouji walked over and bounced down on the couch. "Phew. Cuz if you did, I'd pretty much have to get two hundred new bandanas!" Kouichi stared at Kouji for a second, but kept talking. "OH! GUESS WHAT TAKUYA AND I DISCOVERED TODAY!"
"Er...Izumi, I'll call you back. I need to stop Kouji from being stupid," said Kouichi, "and then I'll call you back about the you-know-whats." Hanging up, Kouichi stared at Kouji. "Alright, weirdo stranger who isn't my brother or twin, or related to me in any way, what is it?" His tone was deadly, but Kouji ignored it.
"GUESS WHAT, GUESS WHAT! OKAY! So, it's about 'Hyper Spirit Evolution!'" Kouji exclaimed, bouncing up and down.
All Kouichi could do was stare. "What about Hyper Spirit Evolution? HURRY UP AND TELL ME. I NEED TO DO MUCH MORE IMPORTANT THINGS," he snapped.
Kouji rolled his eyes and continued, "WELL, you know there's Hyper Spirit Evolution...So, what happens when a person who's hyper evolves!"
There was silence.
"That was it? A lame joke? GIVE ME A BREAK YOU STUPID IDIOT!" Kouichi screamed, throwing his mini phone book at Kouji. "NOW IF YOU DON'T MIND, I HAVE A CALL TO MAKE." He stood up and whipped out his phone, dialing Izumi's number. "Hey, Izumi?"
Kouji looked up and glared at his twin, brushing aside the phone book. "Meanie," he muttered, the glare intensifying until a single word caught his attention.
Kouichi had said, "Yeah, and about the bandanas...burn them all."
"KOUICHI!" Kouji screamed, "YOU GAVE IZUMI MY BANDANAS!"
"Yes, Kouji's right here," Kouichi groaned.
Kouji could hear Izumi's voice from over the phone. "Are you sure you want me to burn his bandanas?" she asked hesitantly.
The answer was simple to Kouichi. "YES."
Letting out a scream, Kouji dashed out the door, hoping to reach Izumi's house in time to stop the burning of his bandanas.
Watching him go, Kouichi snickered and told Izumi, "I think he's coming over to your house now. Just show him the ashes of his previous bandanas while I burn ten more. That will teach him to annoy me."
Izumi sighed. "Kouichi...sometimes, I wonder who's weirder. You or Kouji."
"Kouji," was Kouichi's firm answer. "After all, I'm the smarter one. Thanks, and...if he gives you too much trouble, tell him I'll burn his jackets next. But he only has five..."
"Right...right...bye." Izumi hung up.
Kouichi smiled triumphantly and threw ten bandanas into the fireplace, lighting them up with a lighter. "If he were here, he'd definitely yell-"
"MY BANDANAS! Not the bandanas..." Kouji sobbed, running back in.
And all Kouichi could do was laugh.
Kouji and Kouichi are definitely going to kill me.
Kouichi-You have no idea...I'm not that mean!
Kouji-And I'm not that pathetic!
You're right, Kouji...you aren't that pathetic...you're worse. Kouichi's just right. snickers
Well, I know, Kouji and Kouichi are very OOC…I'm sorry if you don't like it! Yeah, this is definitely the worst of my one-shots. I wasn't very…coordinated, if you will, when I wrote it. But if you will, your reviews might help.