Welcome to Canada, it's the Maple Leaf State.
Canada, oh Canada, it's great!

Harry sat on his cold, hard bed, his hard head cupped in his cold hands. It was only the first day back at Hogwarts, and he was already bombarded with a bombardment of memories of Sirius.

The people are nice and they speak French, too.
If you don't like it, man, you sniff glue.

"Harry?" Hermione asked, slowly coming into the room.
"Yes, Hermione?"
"Bonjour!" Hermione said, having always visited France for the summer holidays.

The Great White North, their kilts are plaid,
Hosers take off, it's not half bad.

"Nice plaid skirt, Hermione."
"Oh, thanks. Would you like me to take it off?"
"What?"

I want to be where yaks can run free,
Where Royal Mounties can arrest me.

"Oh, Hermione… I just don't know what to do." Harry said, tears beginning to run down his face. "Sirius was my everything. I still consider him my everything."
Hermione gently petted Harry on the shoulders and back. "It's okay, Harry…" she cooed. "It's okay…"

Let's go to Canada, let's leave today,
Canada, oh, Canada, I Sil Vous Plait.

"Hullo guys!" Ron said, running into the room.
Hermione and Harry both turned to look at him.
He wasn't wearing any pants.

They've got trees, and mooses, and sled dogs,
Lots of lumber, and lumberjacks, and logs!

"Ron!" Harry sobbed. "Please, I don't need anything else to be sad about." Harry hated showing such weakness.
Ron grimaced. "How could I make you sadder?"
Hermione glanced at the spot between his legs and sighed. "I believe I know how."

We all think it's kind of a drag,
That you have to go there to get milk in a bag.

Hermione hugged Harry close. Harry breathed in her scent deeply. Then he caught himself.
"Hermione?"
"Yes, Harry?" Hermione asked sweetly.
"Why do you smell like Neville?"

They say "eh?" instead of "what?" or "duh"
That's the mighty power of Canada.

Hermione blushed, and sighed. "I'll tell you the truth, Harry..."
Ron looked like he was about to explode.
Hermione continued. "... I've been sleeping in his pajamas, they're so comfortable…"

I want to be where lemmings run into the sea,
Where the marmosets can attack me.

Ron sputtered. "What! That's all? So you guys aren't… you know?"
"Sexing, snogging, and shagging like wild kneazles?"
"Well… yeah"
"Oh no, we're doing that too. But Neville usually smells pretty foul when he sweats."

Let's go to Canada, let's leave today,
Canada, oh, Canada, I Sil Vous Plait.

Harry sighed. His tears had abated. Seeing Ron naked and turning purple with fury at Hermione had an oddly calming affect. He wondered if he told Ron how Ginny was currently humping Dean Thomas in Ron's own bed, if he'd feel even better.

Please, please, explain to me,
How this all has come to be.

"Ron," Harry said, interrupting Ron's swearing at Hermione. "If you look behind you, you'll see some odd shapes moving around under the covers of your bed. That's your sister and Dean."
"WHAT?"

We forgot to mention something here.
Did we say that William Shatner is a native citizen?

Ron, naked, pounced onto his bed, the Silencing Charm broken. Ginny and Dean's moans turned into screams as Ron began furiously jumping on the bed.

And Slurpees made from venison,
That's deer.

Leaning back on his bed, Harry sighed contentedly. He did feel much better.

Let's go to Canada, let's leave today,
Canada, oh, Canada, I Sil Vous Plait.

The End.


Note: Random, eh? Oh, hehe, I said "eh", get it? Er… thanks for reading? This was crap as usual, but thank you for your time. Reviews are welcome and stuff. But yeah, "Oh Canada" is copyright to the band Five Iron Frenzy. And this was a parody of a songfic, so that's probably why it makes no sense? Oh well, once again, sorry to have wasted your time, but thanks for reading!

(Revised 11/21/07)