"5.30am." Jack stated.

"Stupid fish."

It had been seven or eight hours since Sam, Daniel and Teal'c had gone inside. Six hours since they'd told him to stop being childish and come inside. And three hours since that damned fish had last jumped out of the water to taunt him. Now daylight was reclaiming the lake, and Jack was pissed. Really pissed.

"Aw c'mon fish! Let me catch you! Tell ya what...I catch you, I take a picture, I put you back. Deal?"

The water didn't even ripple.

"Okay then. No deal."

Jack took the rod out of it's stand, intent on casting the line again. As he did, some tendrils of bright morning sunlight shone through the trees behind him. Without putting the rod down, he turned his body to spy the sunrise through the thick evergreen forest.

He heard the whirring of the reel too late, and with his body angled away from the water, he had no way to stop himself being yanked towards the lake. As his body was pulled along the little jetty, he yelled in complete frustration, before landing in the water.

"Aaaaaargh!"

Jack had always wondered just how deep his lake was.


Somehow, through the deep baritone of Teal'c's snoring, and Daniel's incessant sniffing, Sam heard muffled swearing from outside.

Being careful not to make any noise (so as not to wake Daniel and Teal'c, or worsen her hangover). Carter tiptoed out of the den, reached for her jacket, and stepped outside into the crisp serenity of a Minnesotan morning.

The peace was shattered by the sounds of water, and wet clothing, as well as gurgling and cursing.

"For cryin' out loud! Stupid, lousy, fu-"

Jack was sitting in his lake, covered in reeds and gungey silt he'd churned up.

"Sir?" Carter tried her hardest to keep her giggles out of her voice, as she started to hold her sides.

"Carter." Jack continued to sit in the sludgy water.

After a pause, Carter said, "What are you doing?"

"I'm fishing, Carter."

Pursing her mouth, and struggling to contain her mirth, Carter began her retreat to the relative sanity of the cabin.

"Of course you are sir."

O'Neill watched her go, his deep blush of embarrassment hidden by the silty mud.

"Crap."

As the door to the cabin audibly closed, Jack sighed, slowly and carefully rising to his feet. Once he had a foothold in the silt, he grabbed at his rod, and internally winced when he realised the line had snapped.

Jack trudged back to the side of the lake with slow deliberate movements, sighing loudly every few squelchy steps. Once back on dry land, he turned to face the lake, which once more looked as peaceful as ever.

He addressed the fish.

"Look crappie...or whatever you are. I don't know how you got into my pond, but my pond has always been fish-less, and I like it like that...So this is your eviction notice...You get our, or I catch you and I eat you!"

Not caring how silly he looked or sounded, he continued, "You're just like that Kinsey was...Slippery, elusive and...Kinsey-like...So I'll call ya Kinsey."

Jack heard a sniggering sound, and turned to the cabin.

Daniel, Teal'c and Sam had their faces pressed to the glass of the kitchen window, and looked like bemused children watching a parent who'd finally lost it. As soon as Jack locked eyes with the trio, they sheepishly ducked out of sight.

"Okay Senator fish...Round One to you...But it'll be Round Two to me!"