A/N: This is my first Cold Case fic so bare with me here. If it sucks, tell me why. If it doesn't then let me know that too, but we all know which is the greater possibility. Lil/Scottie pairing. Set after the finale so… anything up to and including that is fair game as far as spoilers go. Umm…I guess I'll stop babbling and get on with the story.
Disclaimer: If I owned anything it would Olivia and Tripod cuz they are the coolest. Alas, I don't. (For those of you slow on the uptake-like me- or that just haven't been watching long enough –though the last rerun had them in it- Olivia and Tripod are Lil's cats.)
She'd been humiliated. She'd been scarred. She'd been striped bare and had salt poured in the wound. Lil Rush had been rubbed so raw that even she, with her tough girl, I'm-fine-thank-you-very-much façade, was standing where she was. Tears streaming down her face, fist inches away from the door, heart trying to force her mind not to think about what would happen if she knocked. She didn't want to see the pity in his eyes; didn't want to show him that she was human. But she knew she needed to know that she wasn't alone. That she wasn't the only one who'd been hurt. There was even a part of her that wanted him to realize that he wasn't alone. She found she needed to make good for what Chrissy had done to him. A surprisingly large part of her wanted to take away his pain. A pain, she realized, her hatred for her sister growing, that came all too soon after Alyssa's death. It was this that finally made her do what she'd been trying to do for a good fifteen minutes- knock on Scottie's door. She heard him mutter, "coming," a second passed, and he opened the door.
"Hey Lil. Come on in," he said when he recognized the tear-stained face on his doorstep. "Sit down," he added, gesturing towards the couch, "What's wrong?" She shot him a teary grin, and he sniggered softly. "Yeah, stupid question."
"I'm sorry about Chrissy, Scottie." He frowned.
"Is that what this is about?" As soon as he said it he knew that the question was about as dumb as his previous one, though 'what's wrong?' was beginning to look more apt. She shook her head, as he'd guessed she would.
"I don't know what this is about. I…Scottie…When I was ten…I…my mom…she had me go to the store, to get her a drink…" Scottie was thrown by this seemingly off topic insight into his partner's childhood, but reached for her hand, trying to give her the support she needed to continue. She went on, telling him everything that she'd told George, and then some. She told him about the fear, the pain, and the anguish. She told him how the police had searched the scene, gone through every clue. She told him how the trail had gone cold, how to this day she lived in fear that the guy was going to come back.
"So that's why…" he trailed off lamely. She grinned wryly and nodded. "God Lil. Why didn't you…"
"Tell you? The same reason you initially wanted to hole your self up after… I couldn't stand the thought of the pitying glances. I'm not that kind of person Scottie, you know that. Besides, what's the point? It's not like we could…after all these years…"
"Why not Lil? We do it every day. We give families long awaited closure every day. Why can't we give you…"
"No Scottie," she said definitively. "I…I don't think I can go through that. Please Scottie…"
"Of course. If you don't want to…God Lil. I can't imagine…then that thing with George…" Scottie trailed off and when Lil looked up, she saw tears in his eyes. Instantly, she felt remorse. Here she'd planned on trying to ease some of his pain, and she'd only caused him more.
"Scottie, I'm so sorry…" His eyes widened, he shook his head.
"What for?" he said, in a half whisper that conveyed his shock.
"For telling you…for giving you one more thing to worry about…I mean, you've got enough to deal with."
"Lil, don't…look at me…don't ever, EVER apologize because you were unfortunate enough to have to go through the pain of having TWO psychopaths come after you in one lifetime. That is not your fault. God Lil, why you felt it was…" She looked into his eyes, expecting something along the lines of pity. Instead she found empathy, and, to her dismay, shared pain. She choked back a sob that came out more like a hiccup, and the next thing she knew, she was in Scottie's arms and he was rubbing her back. "Shh…It's okay Lily, It's gonna be okay…" He winced slightly as he realized what he'd called her, but, thankfully, she didn't seem to notice. After a while he realized she'd quieted down, and her breathing had slowed. He smiled when he realized she was asleep. Easing himself gently from beneath her, he laid her down. Covering her with the blanket from the back of the couch, he hesitated before kissing her forehead. He pulled away, marveling at the innocence that sleep brought to her face. "Sweet dreams Lily."
Lilian Rush stretched, her hand hitting a cushion. She frowned, realizing that Olivia wasn't on the second pillow beside her, and Tripod wasn't curled at her feet. Her eyes flew open, then, a blush rising to her checks, she remembered where she was. She sat up, realizing that she needed to know where Scottie's bathroom was. Standing up, she looked around. Walking down the hallway, she glanced into an open room on the right and smirked when she saw the way Scottie's face was contorted against his pillow. She bit her lip to keep from laughing when he snored. Too cute. Turning to the left side of the hall way she cracked the door across from Scottie's bedroom. She sighed in relief when she saw it was the room that she was looking for. She took care of her business, getting up to wash her hands. "Damn" she muttered when she heard Scottie's alarm go off. She'd been hoping she could leave before he woke up, so that she wouldn't have to face him. She sighed, opening the door and decided to act calm. She walked over to the doorframe, leaning against it. "Hey sleepy head." Scottie rubbed his eyes, stretched and blinked at her in a way that she found both endearing and completely cat-like.
"Morning Lil," he said, his voice unusually deep, him having just woken up after all, "Didja sleep well?" He yawned. She nodded.
"Couch is a little short and I'm used to having 'Liv and Tripod with me, but…hey Scottie, thanks for last night, but I really should get home. They've probably torn the place apart by now. Besides, I'd bet you can't wait to get me out." It was this last statement, said in a slightly forlorn tone that prompted what Scottie said next.
"Well, if they've already torn the place up then it can't hurt to at least stay for breakfast. To be honest I'm used to Chrissy being around." Lil was pained to realize that there was a catch in his voice when he said this.
"I'm sorry you had to find out the hard way about Chris, Scottie." He tried to shrug it off, getting up and throwing a t-shirt over the chest that Lil had just realized was extremely muscular and extremely bare. However, something about the way he did so told Lil that her sister really had gotten to him. It was for this reason that Scottie found silent tears trailing down her face, and Lil trying to wipe them away before he noticed, when he looked up again.
"Hey, I'm okay Lil. I've handled bigger heartaches then your sister before, and I came out okay." Something in his tone told her he was referring to Alyssa and that pained her all the more. Watching Scottie go through what he'd gone through had hurt her more than any psychopath ever could. To be quite honest had Scottie not gone after Maurice when he'd said what he'd said about the loved ones of suicide victims, she might very well have done her best to beat Maurice to a pulp herself. It'd nearly killed her to see Scottie's pain at hearing Maurice's version of suicides. She was now wiping steady tears away, a determined look on her face.
"I can't imagine going through what you went through with Alyssa, Scottie. In a way, I'd take the physical, mental pain I've been through to that any day."
"I'd rather not talk about it. Chrissy stayed with me through that and I'd rather not go digging it up again, okay?" For all the bitterness his words held, his tone showed none.
"Of course. What are we having for breakfast?"
"Well, I think I have some eggs in the fridge."
"Perfect. I'll cook while you take a shower."
"Don't be ridiculous I don't have a change of clothes. Besides I take too long."
"Just don't burn them," he teased. She mock glared at him. She watched as he picked out his clothes for the day.
"I'm sorry I wasn't there for you when Alyssa died."
…A half an hour later…
You're the first person I've told about the attack, Scottie, so if you could keep it quiet at work…"
"…well unless you count my telling George."
"That creep deserves to die. Not to be trusted with your secrets, Lil."
"Well, he kind threatened it out of me. I was so sure he was going to shoot me. I was scared to death."
"Me too," breathed Scottie, before he could stop himself. She glanced up sharply, but he was inspecting his food. "Lil?"
"There's something I've been meaning to tell ever since that night. I just never got the chance." She nodded. "Lil, I've always realized that you're more than a partner to me. You're a friend. But when I heard the gunshot that George fired as a 'friendly warning'…and your scream…I realized something else. Lil…I realized…that I…I love you."
Ah Cliffies! But, then, you all know what Lil's reaction would be, soo… If you want me to continue, let me know. If I do continue, it might be a while. I'm finishing up another fic and I'll probably end up writing two at the same time when I do continue.