Disclaimer: I do not own Full Metal Alchemist, or The Song Bad Touch from Blood Hound!

Warning: Lemon and teases. Be careful!

Note from Marii: I WIN!


Bad Touch


Ha-ha! Well now we call this the act of mating
But there are several other very important differences
Between human beings and animals that you should know about


Edward was sitting on Roy's couch in nothing but his leather pants reading a book as Roy walked through the door. Roy smirked and licked his lips, as he looked at the delicious looking boy, who had a blue ribbon around his neck, a plate of strawberries, a cup of chocolate, and a bottle of lube on the coffee table next to him. Edward had his hair down and it lay sprawled across the arm of the couch.

I'd appreciate your input


Roy felt his pants tighten just looking at the delicious looking blonde, who still didn't notice Roy's appearance at the door. Roy was basically drooling over Ed. Edward smirked as he looked over his book and saw the drooling Colonel. "Like what you see, Taisa?" Edward said while he put down the book and smirked at the very horny Colonel.


Sweat baby sweat baby sex is a Texas drought
Me and you do the kind of stuff that only prince would sing about
So put your hands down my pants and I'll bet you'll feel nuts
Yes I'm Siskel, yes I'm Ebert and you're getting two thumbs up
You've had enough of two-hand touch you want it rough you're out of bounds
I want you smothered want you covered like my waffle house hash browns
Come quicker than FedEx never reach an apex like coca-cola stock you are
Inclined
To make me rise an hour early just like daylight savings time


Edward teased the colonel by dipping a strawberry into the cup of chocolate, tracing it around it lips once and then slowly eating the juicy strawberry. Roy shuttered as he watched the younger male, his pants getting painfully tight. Edward then slowly licked the chocolate off of his lips as Roy started walking closer to him, taking off his own jacket and uniform shirt. Roy soon was straddling the blonde smirking as he licked his lips, as if he was about to eat the other alive.

Roy then took a strawberry from the pile, dipped it in chocolate. He then drew a line of chocolate the strawberry over Ed's collarbone, slowly ate the strawberry. He then hungrily kissed Edward, nipping the bottom of Ed's lip getting access into the small cavern. He slowly kissed his way down to the chocolate line and licked the line off of Ed. He nibbled at the end of where the line was. After leaving a mark he slowly licked his way to Ed's left nipple and nipped at it, getting a low moan from the male under him.


Do it now
You and me baby ain't nothin' but mammals
So let's do it like they do on the discovery channel
Do it again now
You and me baby ain't nothin' but mammals
So let's do it like they do on the discovery channel
Gettin' horny now


Roy licked around the nipple and then licked a line to the other nipple, smirking as he got another moan from the blonde. He worked on getting Ed's belt off as he kissed down the blonde's stomach. He unbuckled the belt and removed it with his teeth, dropping it onto the floor. He then unzipped Ed's pants and pulled them down tossing them to the floor. He was then surprised as he got pinned by the blonde that was beneath him.

Ed smirked at Roy and nipped his ear; he could feel the Colonel shutter under him as he did this. Ed then kissed down to Roy's collarbone. When he reached his collarbone he bite it softly and sucked, leaving a nice big mark. Ed then kissed down to Roy's chest where he left an occasional lick or nip, getting a moan from the older man. Ed smiled and continued to do this to the hem of Roy's pants. Ed then removed Roy's uniform pants and boxers.


Love the kind you clean up with a mop and bucket
Like the lost catacombs of Egypt only God knows where we stuck it
Hieroglyphics? Let me be specific I wanna be down in your south seas
But I got this notion that the motion of your ocean means small craft advisory
So if I capsize on your thighs high tide, b5 you sunk my battleship
Please turn me on I'm mister coffee with an automatic drip
So show me yours I'll show you mine tool time you'll love it just like Lyle
And then we'll do it doggy style so we can both watch X-Files


Roy felt Ed lick up his excited length. He let out a shuttered gasp. He felt his whole body shake as Ed nipped the head of his already painfully harden cock. Roy felt Ed lick the length once more before coming up and kissing Roy letting Roy have access into the musky chocolate tasting cavern. Roy then flipped Ed over and removed his pants and boxers.

Roy smirked as he made his way back down to Ed's harden cock. Roy took the excited cock in his mouth and sucked hard. He wrapped his tongue around it and swirled it in circles at the head. He then nipped the head hard and was rewarded with a loud moan. Roy then nipped down the length and licked back up it. He licked and nipped Ed's sack getting more gasps. "Roy...Pleasseee" Ed begs as Roy nipped his head again.


Do it now
You and me baby ain't nothin' but mammals
So let's do it like they do on the discovery channel
Do it again now
You and me baby ain't nothin' but mammals
So let's do it like they do on the discovery channel
Gettin' horny now


Roy took the lube from the table and spread it over his hand. He then lifted Ed's legs, putting them on his shoulders as he inserted one finger into Ed. Ed let out a gasp and then felt a little discomfort as the second finger was added. Ed let himself relax as the fingers started to thrust in and out of him, Scissoring now and again. Ed panted as Roy removed his fingers and slowly pushed his cock into Ed.

Ed let a gasp out and slowly adjusted himself to the hardened cock inside of him. Then Roy slowly thrusted out and in him. Soon Roy picked up speed as Ed screamed out in pleasure. He moved hitting the right spot as Ed screamed louder. Roy then started to pump Ed's cock as he thrusted in and out of the blonde. Ed was lost in pleasure as he climaxed in Roy's hand. Roy let out a moan as he soon reached his climax and came in Ed.


You and me baby ain't nothin' but mammals
So let's do it like they do on the discovery channel
Do it again now
You and me baby ain't nothin' but mammals
So let's do it like they do on the discovery channel
Do it now


Roy pulled out of Ed and laid on him. He then kissed the energy-stunted blonde softly, and received a lazy kiss back. Ed yawned and fell asleep. Roy smiled and flipped them over so the smaller male was laying on him. He yawned and closed his coal eyes, falling to sleep.


You and me baby ain't nothin' but mammals
So let's do it like they do on the discovery channel
Do it again now
You and me baby ain't nothin' but mammals
So let's do it like they do on the discovery channel
Gettin' horny now