Disclaimer- After all this time, all this effort, all this writing, I still don't own Fairly Odd Parents.
Authors Note-This is it! The end! The Final Chapter! The end to all the waiting, all writing, all the expecting! So enough from me, let's get on with the (looooong) show!
Wanda was nearing the very end of her pregnancy. She was tired a lot, and usually left Timmy and Cosmo alone so she could nap. It would have been a real help to have Big Daddy, or anybody, for a temp to help out, but Jorgen flat-out refused to give them anyone, since they'd already had a temp for so many more months than they were supposed to. Cosmo and Timmy were trying extremely hard to be supportive, and put up with Wanda being a little snippy or cranky or just in a mood to complain. She didn't sleep in the fishbowl anymore, preferring the comfort of her bed, and Cosmo always diligently followed her, even if she didn't sleep and he forced himself to stay awake and keep her company. One night when they had gone to bed early, he could sense she was a little down so he sat next to her, resolved to cheer her up. He held her hand and amused himself by tracing patterns with his finger on her tummy. Wanda giggled and tried to push his hand away.
"Stop it, Cosmo, that tickles."
"Oh it does, does it," he said, moving his hand to her ribs, with a wicked grin on his face.
"No, Cosmo, please," Wanda begged, but it was no use. She started laughing as he tickled her the best way he knew how. Soon she had tears in her eyes from laughing so hard.
"Please Cosmo, stop!" she gasped, but he persisted. She gasped again, but in a different tone. "Cosmo, stop," she said, no trace of her previous humour in her voice. Cosmo ceased immediately.
"What's wrong?" he asked, worried. "And…eww, you wet the bed." Wanda rolled her eyes, then sat up delicately until she felt comfortable and put a hand on her tummy.
She bit her lower lip and said, "Uhm, Cosmo, I don't want you to panic, but I think the baby is coming."
Cosmo's eyes opened wide. "Ba...baby? Now? Coming?"
She nodded her head. "Cosmo, please don't panic..."
"Who's panicking?" he squeaked, and went completely pale, collapsing on the bed.
Wanda sighed and rolled her eyes again. She grabbed her wand and poofed out into Timmy's room, and sat down quickly on his bed. Timmy, who had been doing homework, looked up at her. "Hey Wanda, could you help me... Wanda? Are you okay?"
She smiled and shook her head. "The baby's coming, Timmy."
Timmy's eyes widened, and he made a funny sound, like he was choking.
"Timmy, don't panic, it'll be okay," said Wanda reassuringly. She winced as she felt the baby push against her again. Cosmo poofed out of the fishbowl, having recovered from his fainting spell.
"Wanda, why aren't you at the hospital? We need to go to the hospital! The baby's coming!" he yelled in a panic. She grabbed him by the arms to stop him flying around in circles.
"Cosmo, listen to me very carefully," Wanda said calmly. "Go and get Daddy. I think he'd want to be here for this. Okay, Cosmo? Go and get Daddy."
Cosmo nodded. "Go and get Daddy...right." He poofed away hurriedly.
"Wanda, shouldn't you be at the hospital?" said Timmy.
"Not until Cosmo and Daddy are here," she said resolutely. "Don't worry Timmy, we've still got plenty of time 'til the baby comes."
Cosmo poofed up in Big Daddy's office, panting slightly in his panic. Big Daddy was holding a telephone conversation, and was yelling a lot. "Look, that Dandy Dan is nothing but a dime-a-dozen gangster. You tell them that if they want that trash moved reliably, they'll have to use me. Or else!" He slammed down the receiver, muttering something under his breath.
"Uhm, Big Daddy?" said Cosmo hesitantly, unsure of how to approach him in such a bad mood.
"Yes, what is it Cosmo," he snapped.
"Uhm, I don't want to disturb you, but Wanda's having the baby."
Big Daddy looked up at him, his eyes opening wide.
"She is? Are you sure?" he asked unbelievingly. Cosmo nodded.
"Well we can't just float around here! Let's go!" He poofed out of his office and into Timmy's room where began to fuss over Wanda. "Wanda, baby, are you okay? Does it hurt? Why aren't you at the hospital?"
"I was waiting for you," she gasped, feeling the baby move again.
"Well, we can go now. Are you coming, kid?" he asked Timmy.
"Yes!" he said quickly. "I want to be there for Wanda. And it beats doing homework."
"Daddy wait!" cried Wanda. "Where's Cosmo!"
"What? Cosmo? He was right behind me when I left…" He looked around, and it was quickly evident Cosmo was not in the room. "He'd better not be too long," Big Daddy muttered. "This baby won't wait forever."
They actually didn't have to wait any longer, because just then Cosmo poofed into the room with an extremely unwanted guest.
"Sorry," Cosmo panted. "I thought I'd better get my Mama too."
"Fine," said Big Daddy through gritted teeth. "Can we just go now?"
"Yes!" exclaimed Wanda, and Big Daddy poofed the five of them out of Timmy's room and into Fairy World Hospital. He sat Wanda down in one of the seats.
"You wait here. I'm getting a doctor," he said, poofing away. Timmy sat down next to Wanda, swinging his legs over the edge of the seat. Cosmo hovered near them, slightly in shock. So much had happened so quickly, and he'd had very little to do with it. Big Daddy had taken control so thoroughly and completely, Cosmo had felt a little redundant. He promised himself he'd try to be more involved from now on.
His resolution was about to be put to the test, because Big Daddy reappeared with Dr Rip Studwell.
"Is there anything you don't do?" Timmy asked the doctor.
"For the purposes of the narrative, no," he answered. He ignored Timmy's puzzled look and turned to Wanda. "So, you're having your baby, are you?"
Wanda nodded. "Yes, I think so."
"Right. Well, just come with me and I'll examine you."
Dr Rip Studwell poofed her into a hospital room with a bed in it. Another flick of his wand and Wanda was in a hospital gown. He turned to the small group who had followed. "If you'll all just wait outside..."
"Can I stay please?" Cosmo asked, holding Wanda's hand.
"Yes, if you want to. But you three, out." He ushered Timmy, Big Daddy and Mama Cosma through the door.
"Now Wanda, what are you feeling?"
"Uhm...the baby's moving a lot, and it feels like it's starting to press down." She winced as it happened again. "A bit like that. Plus my waters broke."
"Hmmm," said Dr Rip Studwell wisely, furrowing his brow in a way he thought made him even more good-looking. He flew over to Wanda and pressed his hands against her stomach. "Hmmm," he said again. "If you'll lie down on the bed, please Wanda."
She obliged him, and he lifted up the bottom of her gown.
"Hey!" said Cosmo angrily. "What do you think you're doing!"
"Cosmo, please, he's the doctor," explained Wanda. "He has to do that." Cosmo didn't say anything else, but pouted sulkily instead.
After studying her intently for a few moments, Dr Rip Studwell looked up at them and said, "The baby is coming."
"Really?" asked Wanda delightedly. Cosmo just gulped.
"Yes. It'll be out in a few hours."
"A few hours," groaned Cosmo. "That's ages. Can't we shorten it with magic?"
Dr Rip Studwell looked at him with the expression of someone who was just asked an extremely stupid question. "No. We can't."
"Don't worry sweetie," said Wanda. "With humans it can take hours and hours and hours and hours and hours and hours and hours and hours and hours. Be thankful it's not that long."
"I guess so," muttered Cosmo.
"Can Timmy and Daddy come back in now?" Wanda asked Studwell.
"And Mama?" added Cosmo.
"Yes, I suppose so." He let them in as he flew out, saying "I'll be back in about half an hour to check on you."
"Is it here yet? Do you have the baby?" asked Timmy excitedly, bouncing up and down.
"No, sport," said Wanda laughing. "It's not due for a few more hours yet."
"A few more hours," whined Timmy. "But that's ages away."
"Well you know Timmy, with humans it can take hours and hours and hours..."
"A really long time," interrupted Cosmo.
"Where did that doctor go," said Big Daddy suddenly. "Shouldn't he be here looking after you? Do you want me to bring him back?"
"No, Daddy, I'm fine..."
"Do you feel okay sweetie? Does it hurt a lot? Are you cold?"
"No, Daddy, I'm fine..."
"Are you in much pain Wanda?" asked Mama Cosma hopefully.
Cosmo, listening to all this going on, suddenly felt the need to get out of the room. He needed some space to clear his head, and begin to understand things.
"Wanda, do you mind if I go for a walk?" he asked her.
"No sweetie. Just don't get lost," she said. She understood exactly why he wanted to go.
He kissed her on the cheek and left.
"Shouldn't he be back here? Do you want him back here? I can go and get him, if you like..."
"No Daddy. It's fine."
Cosmo wandered the corridors aimlessly. He didn't really notice where he was going; he was too busy thinking. He'd be a father soon; almost too soon. He wasn't ready for this, it was happening too quickly. In just a few hours, the special team of Cosmo and Wanda would be no more. There'd be a third; a needy, crying third. Would he have to mature quickly? Would Wanda expect him to? Would she hate him if he didn't? No, of course she wouldn't. Wanda loved him unconditionally as the person he was right now; he had learnt that lesson hard enough. But still, that couldn't stop a thousand other worries that sprung to his mind. What kind of father would he be? Would he resent his child for taking Wanda away? Could he ever be a good parent? He frowned; there were so many thoughts and worries clambering for space in his head, he couldn't concentrate on any one. He stopped and tried to empty his mind. It was easy enough to do usually. Maybe if he got back to Wanda and told her all about it, she'd help him and reassure him that everything would be okay, just like she always did. He looked around him, trying to figure out where he was and how he could get back to Wanda from there.
He noticed a janitor floating near a sliding door, trying to fix it. The janitor noticed Cosmo looking at him.
"Doors broken," he explained. "Fifth time this week."
"Maybe there's a nickel in there," suggested Cosmo.
The janitor stopped what he was doing. "Why a nickel?"
"I dunno..." said Cosmo awkwardly.
The janitor turned around and looked suspiciously at Cosmo. "Did you put a nickel in there?"
"No, I was just making small talk..."
The janitor pointed his screwdriver at Cosmo. "If I find a nickel in there, I'm taking you down."
Cosmo backed away, frightened, and quickly flew away from the scary janitor.
He flew haphazardly down the corridors, until he found one with Timmy in it. He was standing next to the door to Wanda's room, and Mama Cosma was outside with him. Every time a sound of Wanda in pain came floating through the door, she got a look as if she was listening to finely orchestrated music.
"Hey Timmy. What are you doing out here?" asked Cosmo, flying into his mothers open arms and letting her hug him.
"Big Daddy threw me out," said Timmy sulkily. "He said I was annoying Wanda."
"Were you?" asked Cosmo.
"No," said Timmy defensively. "I was just saying how bored I was, and looking at all the hospital stuff… I think he threw me out because I was annoying him. Did you do anything interesting?"
"Nah," said Cosmo. "I was just floating around, and I nearly got lost, then I met this creepy janitor who was really mean…"
"That sounds like fun," said Timmy enviously.
"It sounds horrible," said Mama Cosma sympathetically, stroking Cosmo's hair. "It's so typical of Wanda, to go into labour like that and forcing you to come along."
"She didn't force me, Mama, I wanted to come."
"Of course you did," said Mama Cosma insincerely.
Big Daddy flew out of the doors to Wanda's room. "So you're back, are you," he said to Cosmo.
"Yeah. How's Wanda?"
"Fine. The doctor's just checking on her. It won't be long now."
Cosmo sighed and pulled out of his mothers hug. "Not long until I'm a daddy."
"Are you still worried you won't be a good dad?" asked Timmy.
"Oh, Cosmo, you'll be a fantastic father!" interrupted Mama Cosma. "You'll do it perfectly, and you'll be a much better parent than Wanda."
"No I won't!" Cosmo exclaimed in a panic.
"Well Cosmo, I'll give you some advice," said Big Daddy paternally.
"Why?" asked Cosmo, confused. "What do you know about it?"
"Because, Cosmo, I have two girls of my own, in case you've forgotten."
"Oh yeah," said Cosmo with sudden realisation.
"Oh yeah exactly. And they came out fairly well, even though I do say so myself."
"You mean, because one of them is a snobby soap star, and the other ended up married to me?" asked Cosmo curiously.
Big Daddy glared at Cosmo. "Blonda is not a snob. And Wanda…well, everyone has their off days."
"Cosmo, you have nothing to worry about," said Timmy, cutting off Big Daddy. "You're a great godfather…"
"Don't listen to him, Cosmo," interrupted Big Daddy. "There's a world of difference between being an actual parent and just granting wishes."
"Cosmo, you shouldn't worry," said Timmy, glaring at Big Daddy. "You've always had it in you to be a good father. Like the day I found out that Wanda was pregnant and I was complaining about it, and you told me not to talk to her like that. And the time Big Daddy and I were fighting and you told us not to."
"So you mean I've always had the ability to be a good parent?" asked Cosmo with a smile and rising hope.
"Sure Cosmo," said Timmy. "And when the baby comes, it'll love you as much as I do."
"Aww, thanks Timmy," said Cosmo tearily, flying down to hug his godson tightly. "But did you have to leave it to the last minute? Couldn't you have told me earlier?"
Timmy grinned at him, shrugging. Cosmo hugged him again, then pulled away as a nurse floated out of Wanda's room.
"Is it over? Is the baby here yet?" he asked hopefully.
"Uh, no," said the nurse with a raised eyebrow, and continued to float down the corridor. Cosmo sighed and leant against the wall.
"I'm bored, Big Daddy," said Timmy suddenly. "Bored. Bored bored bored bored bored…"
"Shut up!" exclaimed Big Daddy. "Jeez, you're a whiney kid sometimes."
"Well I wouldn't be if I wasn't so bo…"
"Okay, fine, you want something to do? Read this." Big Daddy produced a book and handed it to Timmy.
"The Big Book of Stupid Jokes for Ten-year Olds?" he said, reading out the title.
"Yep. Now read it and shush." Timmy obediently (though somewhat grudgingly) took the book and started reading. Occasionally he found a joke that he thought was hilarious and he'd read it to Cosmo, and they'd spend the next three minutes laughing hysterically, even though the joke was, well, stupid. After half an hour of this (Cosmo got a stitch in his side) Timmy put the book to one side.
"I'm bored again," he told Big Daddy.
"But I gave you a book!" exclaimed Big Daddy. "Isn't that enough?"
"You don't know many ten-year-old boys, do you?" said Timmy.
"Come on Timmy, let's sing a song!" said Cosmo cheerfully. He took in a deep breath and started to sing "Ten green bottles, sitting on a wall…"
"No, not that song!" interrupted Big Daddy.
"Okay,' said Cosmo. "Ninety-nine bottles of beer on the wall, ninety-nine bottles of beer…"
Big Daddy groaned and hit his head against the wall.
"You have a lovely singing voice, Cosmo," said Mama Cosma.
"Thanks Mama!" said Cosmo, grinning. "Now where was I? Oh well, guess I'll have to start from the beginning again! Ninety-nine bottles of green beer sitting on the wall… Wait, that doesn't sound right…" Cosmo frowned, looking confused, then grinned again. "I'll just start another one! One man and his dog went to mow a meadow… come on everybody!"
"If anyone needs me, I'll be back in my book," muttered Timmy.
"One man two man three man and his dog, went to mow…" sung Cosmo until he was cut off by Dr Rip Studwell flinging open the doors with a flourish. Everyone froze and looked at him in silence, eyes wide as they gazed at the posing doctor. When Studwell thought enough time had passed to build just the right amount of drama, he said simply; "It's time."
"Time for what?" asked Cosmo, breaking the mood.
"Time for the baby," said Studwell.
"Oh," said Cosmo. Before he could scream, Dr Rip interrupted him.
"Do you want to come in?"
"I…uhm…I…" stammered Cosmo. His first reaction was to say no, but then he caught a glimpse of Wanda through the open door. She had a look of intense pain on her face and…could that be…fear? Nah, Wanda wasn't afraid of anything. But she did look like she was in a lot of pain. Cosmo thought about what he'd want if he was in Wanda's situation. If he was giving birth and hurting and doing something new and scary and painful.
"Yes, yes I'm coming in," he answered. He flew into the room and hovered next to Wanda's side. He held tightly onto her hand, and then his eyes began to water as she squeezed his hand tightly and yelled as she felt a strong contraction.
"Cosmo," she gasped as she looked at him.
"What is it, Wanda? Don't worry, I'm right here."
"Cosmo, I'm going…I'm going to be in a lot of pain, and it might…it might make me say things I don't really mean."
"What kind of things? What do you mean?" Cosmo asked as he started to get panicky.
"Just…just remember I love you," she said through gritted teeth, the pain starting to get worse.
Cosmo looked around as nurses bustled through the room, doing complicated and busy medical things. He would have worried he was holding Wanda's hand too tightly if it weren't for the fact she was crushing his own. She let out a deep, agonising moan, and Cosmo could feel tears prick painfully at the back of his eyes.
"Are you okay?" he managed to ask. Wanda took in a few deep breaths before giving him the most withering look she could summon.
"Do you think I'm okay?" she growled. Cosmo couldn't do anything but shake his head pathetically, and Wanda gave him a look that clearly said, I didn't think so.
However, Cosmo didn't have much time to linger over Wanda's abuse, because suddenly the medical staff seemed to be suddenly extra busy, like an ants nest that had been prodded with a stick. Dr Rip Studwell had positioned himself at the base of Wanda's bed, and from there he lifted up Wanda's gown.
"Okay Wanda," he said calmly. "We'll have this baby out in no time. It'll hurt a little, but it won't be very…" He was prevented from finishing his assurances by Wanda's foot somehow connecting with his jaw.
"She didn't mean it!" Cosmo hurried to say as Studwell rubbed his cheek.
"Yes I did," growled Wanda.
Dr Studwell watched Wanda cautiously for a few moments before saying, "Okay, now if you promise not to kick me again Wanda, I promise I'll do the fastest job I can on this, okay?"
"Deal," said Wanda between clenched teeth.
"Right," said Studwell, clapping his hands together and rubbing them. "Now, I can see a head…"
"Wanda, it has a head!" cried Cosmo excitedly.
"Yes Cosmo, it will have a…AHHHHH!" Cosmo's eyes began to water as Wanda squeezed his hand like a vice. He breathed a sigh of relief when she let his hand go when the contraction ended.
"Okay, that was good Wanda, a few more of those and it'll be out," said Studwell.
Wanda whimpered and shook her head. "I can't do a few more."
"Yes you can Wanda," said Cosmo from her side. "You have to."
"I know I do sweetie," said Wanda. "But I just can't…" Suddenly she breathed in sharply as another contraction slammed through her body. "Cosmo, I hate you!" screamed Wanda, grabbing him tightly around the throat. "You are never… AHHHHH! …never going to touch me again!"
"Sorry…Wanda…" choked Cosmo, scrabbling pathetically at the back of her hands. "Could…please…let…go…"
But Wanda didn't seem to be able to hear him, and when the contraction finally passed, she slumped back on the bed. Cosmo was able to remove her fingers from around his neck and he gently stroked her hair. However, when the next contraction came, he was wise enough to remove himself to a safe distance.
"Just push Wanda," encouraged Dr Rip Studwell.
"I AM BLOODY PUSHING, DAMN IT!" she screamed. Cosmo gasped with shock, and suddenly he understood how much pain Wanda was in. Of course, the screaming in agony was a fairly good clue, but the swearing…
Cosmo had known Wanda a long time, and he had inadvertently put her through quite a few painful situations. But it didn't matter how bad it was, or how badly he screwed up, Wanda had never swore at him. He'd never heard her swear at anything before. He wanted to do something soothing and helpful for her, but he couldn't think of anything he could do without putting himself directly in harms way, so he hovered anxiously a few feet from the bed.
"Wanda, I just need you to give one more push and that should be it," said Dr Rip Studwell. "Just one more push."
"Wanda, please," Cosmo found himself saying before he could stop it. Instead of the insults and swearing he expected to get, Wanda looked over at him; and despite the tears smudged on her face and the intense look of agony, he could swear she actually smiled. Then she closed her eyes tightly and put the last of her strength, energy and effort into one final push. Mentally Cosmo pushed with her, willing her on so that this pain would end for her. He didn't realise he'd been holding his breath until he let it out when the first feeble cries from the baby sounded.
Wanda lay back on the bed trembling with exhaustion, but there was a small contended smile on her face.
"It's a girl," said Doctor Rip Studwell as a nurse wrapped their daughter in a blanket and passed her to Wanda. Even though the baby was bawling its eyes out, Wanda was grinning proudly. As far as she was concerned, it was the most beautiful baby ever.
"Can…can I hold her?" asked Cosmo, floating closer and pulling at Wandas sleeve. Wanda hesitated for a second. After all, Cosmo wasn't the most careful or coordinated fairy. But it was only a second; she carefully passed the screaming baby into Cosmo's waiting arms. When Cosmo held it, the baby quietened and opened her eyes for the first time. Cosmo looked down into them, and it was like looking into a mirror; two bright green eyes stared up into his.
"Wanda, she…she has my eyes," he whispered.
All the jealousy and doubts he had felt before disappeared; he couldn't imagine feeling anything but unconditional love for the baby he held in his arms.
Dr Rip Studwell floated out of the delivery room, and Mama Cosma, Big Daddy and Timmy looked up at him quickly. Studwell was silent for a few moments just to make sure he had their attention, then said 'Half an hour ago Wanda gave birth to a beautiful baby daughter. Both mother and baby are doing fine."
"What about the father?" asked Timmy anxiously.
"He's doing fine too," said Studwell.
Timmy sighed with relief then started bouncing up and down. "Can we see the baby? Can we see her now?" he asked excitedly.
"Sorry kid," said Big Daddy, grabbing the back of his shirt before he could run off anywhere. "Wanda's going to be really tired, and the baby's going to have to rest too."
"He's right," agreed Dr Studwell.
"So…I don't get to see them until tomorrow?" guessed Timmy disappointedly.
"Nope. But neither do me or Mama Cosma. Tomorrow we'll all get to see them. Besides, you've gotta get to bed too."
"Okay," said Timmy. "So where's Cosmo? I need to go home."
"I get the feeling Cosmo's gonna be staying here tonight," said Big Daddy with a smile. Mama Cosma tutted and rolled her eyes then poofed out of the hospital.
"I'd better go too," said Studwell. "I have an urgent appointment with a hot tub. I hate doing births." He shuddered before poofing out of the hospital as well.
Timmy watched her go and then looked at Big Daddy. "Would you, uhm…"
"Yes, okay, I'll take you home," said Big Daddy gruffly. "I'd better stay the night too." Timmy grinned up at him. "It's just because I don't want to get stuck with having to come back and get you," explained Big Daddy. "And if I stay over we can leave earlier. Besides, you'd better get used to having me around again."
"Oh yeah," said Timmy. "Well, you know, there is a demand in the schoolyard market for a certain brand of trading card at the moment."
"Is there really?" said Big Daddy thoughtfully, stroking his chin. "That's very interesting… I mean, be quiet Turner, we have to go home."
The next day Timmy, Big Daddy and Mama Cosma all converged outside the door of the hospital room Wanda was staying in. The three of them floated into the room and saw Wanda lying in bed with Cosmo floating next to her, holding the baby and smiling at her.
"Let me see my granddaughter," said Big Daddy, flying ahead of the others. Cosmo handed the baby to him and he looked down at her. She started to whimper at leaving her fathers arms and her eyes opened.
"Green," said Mama Cosma happily, smiling triumphantly at Big Daddy. As he handed the baby to Mama Cosma Timmy could have sworn he saw a ten dollar note pass with her.
"She's absolutely beautiful, Cosmo," said Mama Cosma, stroking the baby's head gently.
"She is," agreed Big Daddy. He floated over to Wanda and lovingly held her hand. "How are you feeling honey?"
"Sore, and tired. But really happy."
"Cosmo, can I hold her?" asked Timmy, moving next to his godfather.
"Well, I don't know Timmy," said Cosmo, watching the baby anxiously.
"Aw, come on, you let Big Daddy hold her."
"Cosmo, let Timmy hold her for a few seconds," said Wanda diplomatically from the bed.
Cosmo took her from Mama Cosma's arms and grudgingly passed his daughter to Timmy. "Support her head Timmy, and be careful, and don't drop her, and…"
"Cosmo, I'm fine," said Timmy. The baby was squirming a little, but he didn't mind at all. He couldn't get over how small she was; she was the tiniest baby he'd ever seen. But she was a fairy, so that made sense.
"Timmy, give her back to Cosmo now," said Wanda when she started to whimper too much.
"Okay Wanda," agreed Timmy, and he handed her back to an eagerly waiting Cosmo. "What's she called?" he asked.
"We don't know," said Wanda. "We haven't chosen a name yet."
"What about Roquefort," suggested Cosmo. "We could call her Roquie for short."
"No," said Big Daddy firmly.
"Well then, what about Brie? Romano? Ricotta? Fromage? Edam? Havarti?"
"Cosmo, I am not having a granddaughter named after cheese," said Big Daddy threateningly.
"Why don't we call her Cosma?" suggested Mama Cosma.
"No!" shouted Wanda.
"Alright then," said Mama Cosma sulkily. "What about Eponee Rae?"
"No!" everyone shouted.
"What about…" Cosmo began to say.
"Cosmo, if you say another cheese related name, I swear I will kill you."
Cosmo paused for a second. "I'll keep it to myself."
"Hey Wanda, do you want to hear a joke?" asked Timmy, pulling a certain joke book from his back pocket.
"Sure sport, go ahead," sighed Wanda. "It's either that or arguing about names."
"Okay. What do you call a camel in Alska?"
"What?" asked Wanda.
"Lost!" answered Timmy, and started laughing.
"No, I mean; what? What's an Alska?"
Big Daddy pulled the book from Timmy's hands. "I think it means Alaska. The stupid book left out the 'a'."
"Oh," said Timmy. "That joke makes more sense now."
"Alska," said Cosmo thoughtfully. "That's a nice name."
"Hey, yeah, you're right Cosmo," agreed Wanda. "It is a nice name."
"Alska," Cosmo said experimentally. "Allie."
"Good one for thinking up such a great name Timmy," said Wanda. She looked at the baby in Cosmo's gentle hold. "Do you like that? Alska?"
"What!" said Big Daddy, not liking the direction this was taking. "Alska isn't a name! It's a typo!"
"It's either that or cheese Daddy," said Wanda.
Big Daddy seemed to be waging a violent mental war before his frown softened and he sighed. "Alska. I can live with that."
"It sort of sounds like Cosma," said Mama Cosma. "Besides, she's green, so Cosmo won, ha ha."
"Are you two actually going to name your daughter after something I said?" asked Timmy unbelievably.
"Sure sport," said Wanda. "It's a pretty name. Besides, fairies are pretty relaxed when it comes to unusual names for our children."
"Well, I think right now she's not happy about something," said Cosmo, as Alska began to flail her little arms and kick her little feet and cry.
"I think she's hungry," said Wanda. "Give her to me Cosmo, I know what to do." Cosmo passed Allie to Wanda, and she began to breastfeed her.
"Wow, I didn't know they could do that!" said Cosmo with a grin, staring at Wanda with wide eyes.
"Neither did I," said Timmy disgustedly, turning away.
"Oh, but Timmy," said Wanda, "it's a natural and beautiful thing."
"Well Cosmo seems to think so," muttered Timmy. Cosmo's gazing was ended as Big Daddy whacked him sharply across the back of the head.
"Let me guess," said Timmy, folding his arms and looking at Big Daddy. "That was for his own good?"
Big Daddy shrugged. "A little his, a little mine."
Just a few days after that, Wanda and Alska were allowed to go home. Timmy was there with them while Big Daddy was off on some other business.
"It's going to be so weird having three fish in the fishbowl now," commented Timmy as Cosmo readied Wanda's bags.
"Alska's not sleeping in the fishbowl," said Cosmo, poofing Wanda's nightgowns into a bag. "It's too cold and wet. She could catch something. Fish are notorious disease carriers."
"Cosmo, we're the fish," said Wanda exasperatedly.
"Still, I'm not taking any chances. She's sleeping in her room. Though maybe we should move her cot into our room. But what if even that's too far away? Maybe she should sleep in our bed…"
"She can sleep in our room the first few nights, Cosmo," said Wanda firmly. "Then I'm sure she'll be fine in her room."
"But what if she cries and we can't hear her?"
"Cosmo, we're magic," reminded Wanda. "We can put a spell on the wall between out rooms so that whenever she wakes up we can hear her cry."
"Well, okay," agreed Cosmo, sounding a little more convinced.
"Excuse me, I think you're forgetting about your other responsibility," said Timmy, drawing their attention to him.
"We could never forget about you sport," said Wanda with a reassuring smile. "We'll always be your Fairy Godparents."
"Yeah," agreed Cosmo. "It's just that now we're Fairy Real Parents at the same time."
"Alright," said Timmy, and he looked a little happier. "Can we go home now?"
"Sure thing kiddo," said Wanda. "I'm ready, Allie's ready, Cosmo's…well, he'll come anyway." They left Wanda's hospital room and floated down the passageway towards the main entrance.
"I bet it feels good to be able to fly again, right Wanda?" said Timmy, watching his godmother move through the air.
"You bet it is Timmy," she answered with a wide grin. They passed a janitor leaning against a wall, and while Timmy and Wanda moved past him, Cosmo couldn't help but slow down. The janitor held up a nickel and said tauntingly, "I'm watching you."
Cosmo gulped and quickly flew away to catch up with Wanda and Timmy. He linked his arm through Wanda's, and quickly started smiling again. Wanda smiled happily at him, and at the sleeping baby in her arms.
"Come on guys," said Timmy, looking up at them with his own wide grin. "Let's go home."
And with a flick of two wands, that's exactly what the four of them did.
Authors Note 2- So here we are. Finally this story has come to its end. It's taken about as long as a real pregnancy and I hope I finished it well. Maybe it could have been better, but maybe it could have been worse. Besides, endings are hard to do; I don't want to say goodbye! And how did that janitor get in there? He must have snuck in when I wasn't looking.
This story has been more successful than even my wildest dreams could have predicted, ending up with over 100 reviews! I owe it all to my fantastic reviewers, who never failed to put a smile on my face and confidence in my heart. So thanks, WLiiAfanatic, R-4 gamma, Soneka the Hedgehog, Danny'sGhostGirl, charmedgirl34, RoseMage, vegetarian-icer, Ginger Charpentier, Atemu's Sister, Blue Eyes Shining Dragon, Fairly-Odd-Parents, Half-Light, Commander, Novalae, SashaJay, thesupernugget, Faye Lunacorn, Trixie 21, Bara No Namida Ni Gekko, Kira 6, Fred the Mutant Pickle, Batkid1, ravengal, EvilspyAchacia, Quandtuniverse, Aerinsoul, Spiritual Magic, Apollo13, The Great Susinko, saviangirl, DannyFentonIsMyHomeboy, Catlover15, acursed1 and Inujoey20 , I owe you 34 guys everything. This story (and this author!) would be nothing without you.
P.S. Those reviwers were listed in the order you reviewed, so I'm not playing favourites, just FYI. Until next time, adios amigos!