Disclaimer: Hermione, Ginny and the other HP characters belong to JKR, not me. Jack and Will from PotC belong to Disney. The Luau song that Norrington sings is also a Disney product, taken directly from the Lion King. The Chicken Dance doesn't belong to me either…
Stumbling out of the Gryffindor fireplace, Hermione was mobbed by the younger students as she tried to brush the ashes off herself. Everyone was shouting, as the students who weren't in the Order wanted to know all the juicy details of the battle. They'd learned that Harry had defeated the Dark Lord, but it wasn't clear exactly how he'd achieved that awesome feat.
"Where's Harry?" Someone yelled over the din.
"Is Dumbledore really dead?" Another Gryffindor screamed.
"Give her some space!" Parvati scolded them, and ushered the younger students back so that Hermione could move out of the way of the next person due to arrive.
"Thanks," said Hermione, breathlessly as Ron suddenly appeared out of the green flames. He too was mobbed, and was beginning to look quite frazzled until he met his new girlfriend's eyes. Then he grinned and made his way toward her, all thought of the pushy crowd forgotten.
"Good heavens, Ron – you're a mess," said Hermione, brushing the soot off of him before he could protest. "You've even got soot in your hair!" He chuckled sheepishly, and let her fuss over him. Just then, the roar of the crowd was raised ten decibels.
"I'd bet ten galleons that Harry's back," guessed Ron with a smile as the green-eyed wizard was engulfed by all of Gryffindor house.
"Break it up…girlfriend coming through!" Ginny materialized in the fireplace and was somehow able to wrestle Harry away from his admirers. She led him through the crowd as the Boy-Who-Lived was in no mood to talk…his eyes carried a haunted look that reflected on the all too recent trauma.
"Follow me," said Hermione, understanding that Harry needed to go someplace where he wouldn't be disturbed. Neville and Luna hung back uncertainly, not sure if they were welcome.
"Don't be silly," said Ginny, shaking her head, motioning at them. "You're coming with us." The six friends followed Hermione out of the portrait hole until they reached their destination, the Room of Requirement.
"We can sleep in here tonight," Hermione explained, as six beds had appeared for their use. They sat in silence, just reflecting on the tragic events that had just occurred. One by one, they dropped off to sleep, exhausted from the terrible fight.
The six friends spent the next day quietly, chatting idly as they played games of exploding snap and wizard's chess. But soon they grew bored.
"I'm tired of being all cooped up in here," Ron stated. Harry just gave him an icy glare in return. Hermione knew that the Boy-Who-Defeated-the-Dark-Lord wasn't looking forward to facing the rest of the school, and that he'd rather stay in seclusion a bit longer.
"Come on, Harry, you can't hide in here forever," his girlfriend urged. "Dumbledore wouldn't have wanted you to –"
"Dumbledore's dead," Harry muttered in a hollow voice. "And therefore, I don't know what he would've wanted or not."
"Perhaps we could just stay in here another day," Hermione offered, ever the diplomat. To be honest, she wasn't wild about facing the school either.
"Or maybe we could go visit the pirates," Luna randomly suggested, which was not out of fashion for the blonde Ravenclaw at all. Neville brightened.
"We should! That way we'd get out of the room and we wouldn't have to face the school. Harry, what'd you say? Captain Sparrow is always good for a laugh, eh?" Harry gave him the tiniest of smiles in response.
"Alright…I say let's do it." Hermione pulled the time-turner out from the inside her robes where she'd been keeping it safe. Forming a circle, the six friends held hands while Hermione turned the hourglass three times. Moments later, they were transported directly onto the deck of the Black Pearl. They were greeted by a loud cry of astonishment coming from the direction of the ship's wheel.
"Woah!" It was Captain Sparrow alright…and he looked more than a little startled at the arrival of the six Hogwarts students. ""Ello, mates!" He said brightly. "Next time, though, can yeh send me a warning?"
"Good to see you too, Jack," laughed Ginny, who gave him a hug.
"I don't mean to be rude, but erm, why are all of yeh here?" Jack asked, gesturing to the young wizards and witches.
"Harry just defeated Voldemort, but we lost some dear friends in the process. Luna suggested that come visit you, so here we are," Hermione explained brightly.
"Well, in that case, glad to have yeh back," Jack grinned. "It sounds like a little escapism is what yeh all need. Oh, and congratulations to yeh, Harry, for finishing off Voldemort. From what I hear, that wizard was a nasty one…"
"Thanks," said Harry, grinning for the first time since the incident. "They all helped me, though."
"So, is Will here?" Hermione's curiosity got the better of her.
"No he's not," Jack answered her, shaking his head. "He moved in with the rum-burner Elizabeth after their 'real wedding' in Port Royal last week…as if my marrying them didn't count…" Jack trailed off muttering something about bias against pirates. "But don't ya worry young missy, the crew and I are on our way to pay dear William a visit. It's the day of Norrington's trial in and well…" Jack trailed off nervously, "I'll explain the rest when we dock."
"Fair enough," laughed Hermione. She could only imagine what kind of havoc that Jack would wreak during Norrington's trial, and turned towards the open sea, appreciating the lovely view.
The rest of the Gryffindors just watched anxiously as Luna approached Jack, her radish earrings swaying in the salty wind.
"I've been meaning to talk to you," she said seriously, her blue eyes fixed on his.
"Oh bugger," Jack muttered. "Am I in trouble?"
"That depends," Luna continued grimly. "Are you involved in the Rotfang conspiracy? According to my father, the conspiracy has its roots linked all the way back to your century…" After assuring Luna that he was not a part of the Rotfang conspiracy in any way, their conversation turned to the finer points of piracy.
They spent the afternoon relaxing on the Pearl, while the ship slowly sailed towards its destination. At one point, Anamaria showed up on deck and eyed Ginny apprehensively. However, she visibly loosened up when Ginny told Jack that she was going out with Harry.
"Good for yeh, luv!" Jack beamed at Ginny and Harry, who were sitting rather close, their backs against the ship's railing.
"I've got meself a girl as well…after you lot left, Anamaria and I got back together." He gave the tan-skinned pirate woman a hug.
"That's sweet, Jack, but you might want to pay attention to where you're going," Anamaria told him lightly, as the ship just barely missed running directly into the dock.
"Sorry, luv," Jack apologized sheepishly, and without further problems, smoothly guided the Pearl into her berth.
As they disembarked, Neville began to question Jack about how they were going to mess around with Norrington.
"Well, I had something else in mind, but now that you magical lot are here, I've come up with something that's even more brilliant!" Jack gushed while the six Hogwarts followed him and Anamaria through the bustling streets of Port Royal. Their final destination was Will and Elizabeth's house, which supposedly was close to the Governor's mansion.
"What Jack means to ask you," said Anamaria, "Is if there is some sort of spell where one person can force another to say their lines simultaneously, and if so, can we use it on Norrington?"
"Yeah there sure is," said Harry, grinning. "Mione, what's it called?"
"The 'Parley-a-deux' jinx, you mean?" Volunteered Ron, who saved his girlfriend from embarrassment. Hermione had completely blanked out on that one.
"Good one, Ron," she said, smiling at him. Then she turned to Jack. "It was invented by the French; the spell allows the caster to control everything that their victim, in this case Norrington, says. Not only that, but this jinx is strong enough to control the weak minded…"
"Believe me, I know all about the French and parley. Only, to pirates, that word means something entirely different," Jack said mysteriously.
"I'll take your word for it," said Harry, shaking his head.
"Hey Jack, I've got a few ideas that you could use on bloody Norrington," A smirking Ginny offered, and they lagged behind the rest of the group so the red-haired witch could teach Jack what to say. Eventually, they arrived at the gates to the Swann mansion.
"Jack, why don't you and Anamaria wait here while the rest of us go get Will and Elizabeth," Hermione advised. "We don't want you getting caught again."
"I see yer point," Jack agreed, and watched as the others went on ahead. Hermione saw a quaint little house not too far away from the mansion and slowed down in front of it.
"Is this it?" Luna asked uncertainly.
"Only one way to find out," Neville pointed out, ringing the doorbell. Lucky for them, it was the Turner household, and Will came to the door at once, looking as gorgeous as ever.
"Hermione!" He cried, and swept her up into a friendly embrace. "It's so good to see you…and your friends as well." Will greeted each of them in turn.
"I'm really glad to see you too, Will," Hermione beamed as Elizabeth came to the door. "I trust your formal wedding went well?"
"It was lovely," Elizabeth admitted, slipping her arm around her husband. "But I have to say I much preferred being married by Jack on the Pearl than by a stuffy old bishop in front of the entire town." She grimaced, but then grinned. "So how are all of you?"
"Well, Harry defeated Voldemort, and Ron and I are now going out," said Hermione, all in one breath.
"Good for you!" Will congratulated them, giving Hermione a wink as he did. After all, Will had been the one to encourage her to keep pursuing Ron.
"And Harry and I are going out as well," Ginny spoke up. "By the way, do you know why we're here?"
"Yes; Jack had something special planned for Norrington's trial – am I correct?" said Elizabeth. They nodded.
"Then where is Jack, anyway?" Will asked, frowning at his friend's absence.
"Oh no!" cried Ginny. "We left him and Anamaria waiting back there…"
Jack was beginning to get impatient. Ginny and her friends had left to collect the Turners, but were taking much longer than he'd expected. After what seemed like forever to the pirate Captain, the wizards and witches reappeared, only this time they had the newly-wedded Turners in tow.
"Jack! I'm glad you made it," cried Will, giving his pirate friend a hug.
"Are yeh kiddin'? I wouldn't miss the trial of the Dread Pirate Norrie for the world!" Jack exclaimed, and everyone laughed, especially Elizabeth. "I've wanted to humiliate that bugger for years; after all he's done to me…"
"Why am I not surprised?" Elizabeth chuckled.
"Elizabeth, darling!" Jack grinned at the lovely young Mrs. Turner. "How about a kiss for Ol' Jack?" Elizabeth just laughed and gave him a peck on the cheek. Needless to say, Jack was shocked. (He'd been expecting a slap instead.) But Captain Sparrow recovered nicely.
"Shall we go, then?" Everyone followed the Turners, who led them through the streets and alleyways to the back entrance of the courthouse. Will ushered everyone into a room on the second floor that overlooked the main courtroom where Norrington was scheduled for his trial. They could see the inside of the courtroom perfectly through the glass, but after Hermione put a charm on the glass, no one in the courtroom could see them, or hear them. But, thanks to the charm, they could hear and see everything that was going on in the courtroom.
"Ok, Jack – they're leading him in right now," Ginny informed the pirate. "Are you ready to make Norrie look like a fool?" Jack's eyes lit up in response.
"Do pirates like booty? Do wizards like magic? Do…" Jack's little speech was interrupted by Will, who shushed the over-enthused pirate.
"Shh! They're starting," he hissed, pointing at the guards who were leading Norrington up to the witness stand. Ginny performed the 'Parley-a-deux' jinx on Jack, who waited until Norrie was sworn in to make his move.
"Are you the former Commodore James Norrington?" Everyone heard the bailiff begin his interrogation of the defendant.
"No, I am the Dread Pirate Norrie!" Jack and the former Commodore yelled with enthusiasm. "I'm known for being the wussiest pirate in all of the Caribbean!"
"Excuse me?" said the bailiff, cleaning out his ears.
"I- I-I didn't mean to say that!" Norrington gasped. "I don't know what came over me…I mean of course I'm James Norrington. Please continue." The bailiff decided to proceed as if nothing out of the ordinary had happened.
"Mr. Norrington, please tell the court why you kidnapped Miss Elizabeth Swann Turner and her father, the Governor, and left them locked in your home in London." Jack grinned, and just before Norrington could reply, he burst out into song!
"Luau! If you're hungry for a hunk of fat and juicy meat… eat my buddy Pumbaa here because he is a treat!" Jack and Norrington sang in unison. " Come on down and dine… on this tasty swine… all you have to do is get in line! Aaaare ya achin'… fooor some bacon? Heee's a big pig… you could be a big pig too. Oy!"
"Erm, right," said the bailiff. The rest of the court had been stunned into silence. Behind the soundproof bewitched glass, Will, Elizabeth, Anamaria, and the Hogwarts students rolled with laughter.
"I swear, I can't believe I just sang that!" A mortified Norrington stammered. The bailiff nodded sagely.
"Moving on – what do you have to say for yourself pertaining to the accusations that you've been committing acts of piracy?"
"Marshmallows!" Cried Jack and Norrington, who fluffed up his white powdered wig. "Glorious, sweet, and squishy marshmallows!" I need some right now! Gimme, gimme, gimme!" The entire court looked at him strangely.
"Can you repeat that?" Norrington's attorney dubiously asked him.
"Where art thou marshmallows? Like, oh my god, where are my marshmallows?" To his audience's amazement, Norrington repeated his bizarre request in several different fake-accents.
"I suppose you didn't mean to say that either," said the bailiff shaking his head. Norrington just trembled in fear, putting his hands over his mouth. Watching this hilarious scene unfold, Elizabeth was laughing so hard, she was almost crying and she had to hold onto Will for support.
"Mr. Norrington, I'll have to ask you to remove your hands so you can answer one more question," advised his lawyer. When Norrington refused to comply, the bailiff added his own two cents.
"If you don't answer this next question, the judge will automatically decide that you are guilty if you can't say anything coherent in your defense!" Whimpering, Norrington finally took his hands off his mouth.
"Now, Mr. Norrington…how were you feeling at the time of the kidnapping?" Jack proceeded to sing the chicken dance, and act out the accompanying movements.
"I don't wanna be a chicken, I don't wanna be a duck, so I shake my butt!" Norrington shook his bum and did the chicken dance in front of the entire court, which erupted into chaotic laughter. He only stopped when Jack got too tired to continue. Hermione and her friends were too far gone to congratulate Jack on his mastery of the chicken dance. Back in the courtroom, Norrington's fate was being sealed.
"The poor man is obviously insane – lock him up in the local sanitarium until he shows signs of improvement," said the judge, shaking his head. Protesting loudly, Norrington was led out of the courtroom. He was yelling something about being bewitched, but no one paid him any mind.
"Thanks Jack; that was absolutely brilliant!" Gasped Ginny, wiping tears of mirth from her eyes.
"It certainly made my day," said Hermione, grinning. Everyone else nodded in agreement.
"Anytime, luv," Jack winked at them.
"Who wants to come back to our place to celebrate?" Will said happily.
"You're all invited, of course," said Elizabeth.
"I'd love to, but I think I'm ready to go back and face the real world," Harry stated determinedly. "This was just the distraction I needed."
"Good for you, Harry," said Neville, smiling.
"I knew that coming here was a good idea," exclaimed Luna, looking cheered.
"Aw, that's too bad," frowned Jack. "I was looking forward to spending time with you lot." Then he turned to Will and Elizabeth. "But Anamaria and I will come – count us in for sure!"
"Are you sure you want to go back so soon, Harry?" Ron said, in a skeptical manner.
"You know you'll have to face everyone, and explained exactly how you killed Voldemort," Ginny reminded him.
"Not to mention there's the slew of funerals that we'll need to attend within the next few days," added Hermione.
"No, I'll be fine," Harry reassured them. "Just as long as I don't have to perform the chicken dance at Dumbledore's funeral, I think I can face whatever comes my way."
And with that, the friends from different centuries said their goodbyes, promising to visit soon. As Hermione sped back to the future, she reminded herself that she'd be returning to a Voldemort-free world, that she had wonderful, supportive friends, and a great boyfriend. Suddenly she didn't dread facing the wizarding world so much after all.
I just want to say a big thank you to all of my wonderful reviewers! I finally got around to writing an epilogue, thanks in particular to Mae-E, who urged me on with her positive email. (Thanks for making me finally write it!) I know it was a little silly, but I wanted to end on a high note, especially after the darkness in the previous chapter with so many deaths. It was really fun writing the Norrie 'torture' part, and I hope you all enjoyed it.
Look for a new PotC story coming in July called 'Revolutions of the Heart'. It's a Will/Liz romance set during the time of the American Revolution, and yes Jack will be in it as well! But above all, GO SEE PIRATES II on JULY 7TH!