A/N: I'm quite proud of the way this fic has turned out. Bits of meaningless fluffy drivel guaranteed to raise a few flames, but who cares, really?

Dedicated to my dearest cousin, Reivyn.

Disclaimer: Own none of the characters

Bold: Alec Italics: Max Bold and Italics: Max and Alec


Lost

The way he looks at me.

The way she smiles.

It's enough to make me weak at the knees.

But these feelings scare me.

They're so intense.

But feeling this for the first time is thrilling.

Unable to meet his eyes and feeling a blush creep over your cheeks when you know he is looking at you.

Knowing that one word from her could make you feel as if you're on cloud 9.

Why be scared?

Cause a little part of you is saying that you might get hurt.

Or maybe it's because you know she'd rather die then be with you.

But mostly it's cause you're afraid that the other won't return your feelings.

I've been such a bitch to him.

I haven't really been Prince Charming.

Why hope?

Because it hurts so badly when you see him with his arm around another girl; you want to be in his arms.

Because you know that you would give an arm and a leg just to have her close to you.

But it'll never happen.

He would laugh at me if I said that I loved him.

She would hit me if I told her I wanted her.

I never thought I'd feel this way…

But here I am; loving the guy I had hoped I would never fall for.

Wanting someone who would more likely kick my ass then kiss me.

Am I crazy?

Probably. It must be unhealthy thinking about someone like this all the time.

I must have a death wish by trying to get close to her.

But does it matter as long as I feel this way?

Sometimes I want to stop always thinking of him.

I admit that sometimes I just want to forget about her.

But I can't.

I can't stop thinking about him.

I can't forget her.

And I remember…

When he was so close-

That I could've kissed her.

But…

He didn't.

I threw away my chance.

Should I be happy?

What would have happened is he had kissed me?

Nothing would be the same.

Our friendship would become too awkward to bear.

But are we still just friends with everything I'm feeling?

Even now I doubt whether I can look at her the same way.

Do I want to risk everything I' ve worked so hard to achieve?

If he doesn't feel the same way…

I would feel so humiliated.

And everything would be different anyway.

But I don't want anything to be different.

I'm fine the way we are.

Strictly platonic, right?

I'm pretty sure that what I feel is anything BUT platonic.

It's torture feeling this way and not knowing if she feels the same.

Never thought that I'd feel this way…

Wanting the world to open up and swallow you whole whenever he looks at you.

Wanting to always be near, to always be there for her.

Most of all…

I hate it when he looks at me.

It's disconcerting to know that she can read you like an open book by just looking into your eyes.

To know that your eyes could probably betray your feelings for him-

So you try and hide away.

I try not to look at him.

But when I do get caught in her eyes…

I never want to break away.

And then I realise-

I could get lost in those eyes forever…