Disclaimer: as all know I don't own the characters, just the fun ideas that came out my head
Warnings- yaoi, mpreg, rape of a minor, language and lemons to come….
Please if you don't like any of this than don't read it.
Pairings: Sasuke/Naruto, Kakashi/Iruka
'….' -Character thoughts
Why I've been asked. Why am I here? Why do I continue to live? Why stay where I'm not welcome? Why care for those who would rather me not exist?
I have no answer for those, but what I honestly feel. I am here because I am needed. I'm alive because something in me refuses to die. I stay because where else do I have to go. I care because everyone needs someone to care for them.
In truth I ask myself these same questions everyday. I hurt just like everyone else. The hateful glares the name calling the daily rant of some villager at me. But I don't let it show I smile and go about my day. Even after all these years. My team-mates don't understand me. I wouldn't think they would. They see the blond hair, blue eyed prankster I once was as the village idiot for a team-mate.
I guess that's my fault I never let my mask fall to show the deeper me. I would rather they see someone happy than someone stuck in a cage banging on it screaming in pain.
I'm late again for a mission. That's been happening a lot lately. Pretty soon they're going to confront me about it. I don't know what I'll say when the time comes. How could I tell them when I don't know why I feel like I'm dieing inside.
I'm running to the bridge we always meet at. I see them standing there looking annoyed, probably at me. Coming to a stop I prepare myself to be belittled again for my lack of caring that they had been waiting on me, the lowly demon holder.
Being pulled from my thoughts I notice I'm being stared at instead of being yelled at.
"What?" I ask looking from one to the other.
"Why are you late, again Naruto?" Kakashi asked looking at me with his one eye.
"I'm sorry, I must have over slept won't happen again!" I state pulling up my mask smiling brightly as I scratch the back of my head. Playing dumb seemed to work well in the past.
"Are you sick?" Sakura asks looking at me worried, crap why is she so worried about me.
"No! Why?" I ask furrowing my brows keeping my fake smile planted.
"You.. nothing." She says shaking her head before turning to Kakashi. "Can we go now?" she asks in an annoyed voice.
Kakashi nods at her and we begin walking, we know all about the mission since it was given to us the day before. Not my idea of fun but it's a mission and one that has to be done.
'Why is that dobe so late today? He's been doing that a lot lately. He knows we have a mission today.' I think to myself before looking up to see said team- mate walking up to us. Something's not right about him.
"Are you sick?" I hear Sakura ask him. She must have seen it to, crap.
"No, why?" Naruto answers a bit too quickly. 'He's lying something's wrong. I'll have to wait till later to ask him what's really wrong.'
'Why is Sasuke looking at me like that?' I'm in no mood to deal with another one of his glaring matches. He wins anyway I always back down giving him one of my own insults back at him. It's funny that after all these years we could still hold such hostility towards each other. Even Sakura moved on and has been dating Lee for half a year now. Hmm, I'm too tired to think about this right now.
The mission today, gah I hate dealing with nobles and there bickering.
"Kakashi sensei, why did we get this mission I don't understand?" I say pouting at him I don't know why they seem to think shinobi such as us should have to baby-sit a stuck up noble when any genin could do it.
"What's to understand? They need protection while traveling we have been ordered to comply." He says his tone flat while he continues to walk.
"I understand that. But, why us? There are many others who could have done this mission." I ask in a quiet calm voice one I rarely use.
"Since when do you not want to do a mission? It's been awhile since there's been one for us." Kakashi asked sounding shocked.
"It's not that I don't want to do a mission. It's just,… never mind lets just get this over with." I said wanting to drop the subject. Walking ahead of his team- mates he didn't have to see the sudden worry that etched across all there faces.
Looking from one to the other he could clearly read that they were all worried about him. 'That dobe, what is he doing? What's wrong with him? He's never acted like this.' Falling in step with Sakura they looked at each other then back at the blond frowning.
"What are you thinking?" She asked not looking at me.
"Eh, it's none of our business if he doesn't want to say!" I lied I wanted to know but it will take work for him to tell me.
"What? You're kidding right? He's our team-mate and it's more our business if he has something wrong with him that could jeopardize the mission." She said keeping her voice low. "He's been late for half our meeting for the past month, he was late for our mission today and he looks like he's been losing weight, he's just flat out not acting normal and you say that its none of our business?" she hissed
"Hn." Was all I said.
"Will you please stop talking about me?" Naruto complained.
'Crap he heard us' there's no time right now to think on this I'll just wait.
We reached the next village and we're allowed to stay in an inn for the night. We didn't have to meet our mission client till morning.
I got roomed with Sasuke. I swear they're up to something, I just know it.
I made it to our room before him and climbed into the one bed that was provided and scrunched myself against the wall. After burrowing myself in the blankets, I hear the door open and the quiet foot steps he takes to get to the bed. It takes forever before I feel the bed shift to his body. I hear and feel the blankets move to cover his body.
I see him hiding under the blankets when I entered our room. Why is that loud mouth hiding from me? I move to settle in the bed and I hear nothing from him just his breathing and feel the heat of his body where the blankets had been close to him.
'He's not going to say anything is he?' baka!
"Naruto?" I say not sure I want him to respond.
"Hn?" 'Crap he did.'
"Uh, is something wrong? You're not your usual obnoxious self!" I ask trying as hard as I can to hide my concern.
"Huh, no I'm just tired. Yell at me in the morning will ya? I tend to be hard to wake lately." He's tired why is he being so quiet? He's never quiet!
"Hn!" I tell him not knowing what else to say.
Soon we're both asleep he's softly snoring. For some reason I'm awake there's a sound that woke me. I look over and see he's still asleep but the look on his face reads nothing but pain. Why is he so in pain? Then I hear him.
"No.. please…. Stop.. no I don't, nnh." He's breathing hard.
I'm looking at him I can't stop I want to wake him but I can't move.
"Please…. Stop!" He whimpers and tears start to flow down his cheek.
I reach out and wipe the tears away only to have more replace them.
"What the fuck is wrong? Why is he crying?" I whisper.
Reaching his shoulders I begin to shake him awake. Its not working he said he was having troubles waking. I say his name; nothing happens I say it louder. This time I see his eye's begin to flutter open.
"Naruto wake up!" I say still holding his arms.
"Hmm is it time to go?" he asks looking at me though sleep fogged eye's.
"No, it's not time. It's still night!" I state frowning.
"Than why, did you wake me?" he pouts throwing himself back on the bed.
"Hmm, why did you wake me up then? I said I was tired!" I asked irritated but happy to be rid of the dream I was having.
"Sorry but you woke me first!" 'What's he talking about?'
"What, how?" I ask
"You were dreaming! Talking in your sleep." 'Oh crap what was I dreaming about?'
"Sorry, I didn't mean to wake you!" I said turning to face the wall.
"What were you dreaming about?" Why does he want to know?
"It doesn't matter, just go back to sleep. We have a mission tomorrow ya know!"
"I won't be able to sleep until I know why you sounded so scared." Crap! Double crap.
"It doesn't matter. It's, it's just the past nothing that concerns you. Please, let me sleep, I'm so tired." I say trying to pull the covers over my head.
"Why are you so tired?" he just doesn't stop does he the stubborn bastard!
"I haven't been getting much sleep!" I growl at him.
"But, that's all you seem to be doing is sleep. That's why you were late today and the same a few days ago and a week ago what is going on with you? It's starting to affect our missions!"
Why won't he just tell me what's wrong stubborn idiot!
"Please Naruto, just tell me what's wrong."
"I…. my dreams, they keep me from getting any rest. When I wake I feel more tired than when I went to sleep." He says in a quiet voice.
"What's wrong with your dreams that they could do that to you?"
"It's, I, look I'll be fine tomorrow. Just …don't tell anyone I'm having trouble sleeping. I don't want to lose any missions cuz I haven't slept in over a month." He said it so quietly I hardly made out what he said, but I did and I'm shocked.
"You, you haven't slept in over a month, but how I don't understand Naruto. Now, you have to tell me you're no good to us if you can't function. No one, can function like that!" I was getting frustrated how could he, not be sleeping.
"Fine but this doesn't leave the room." He said letting out a defeated sigh.
End chapter 1---
Please r/r let me know what ya think of my first fic… like it? Hate it? whatever I'd love to know