Disclaimer: I don't own anything that has to do with "That's So Raven."
Author's Note: Hey guys! Are you surprised to hear from me? Well, miracle of all miracles, the place I'm staying at has a computer. If I had known that, I would have saved my other story on disk and brought it up here to post it and keep you guys from waiting. Unfortunately, I did not, so you'll still have to wait for "Wish" But I have a little treat for ya. Well, it's like 2:30 in the morning and I couldn't sleep, so I wrote a short story. The narrator is a mystery until the very end, so please read it and review it. Tell me what you think. I hope this'll tide you guys over. Well, here goes nothing...
If you've ever been in love before, I think you can relate to me. If you've ever been in love, you know when it hits. You don't expect it, it just happens; it's a single moment of clarity in an entire lifetime of chaos.
That's how I feel about Chelsea Daniels.
Chelsea has been my best friend since I can remember, but I never realized that I had feelings for her. And then one day, it struck me like a tidal wave. This whole new feeling just washed over me and drowned me immediately. I couldn't be saved…but I didn't want to be saved.
I will never forget the second it happened. It was just us. The "Three Musketeers." The "Three Amigos." The "Three Blind Mice," as Chelsea put it. And she couldn't have been more right. I was one blind mouse all right. I saw Chelsea every day, but I never really SAW her. Well, until that day…
We were walking down the streets of San Francisco. Our destination was unknown at the moment, but when you're with friends, do you need a destination? Things aren't mapped out, and that's what makes it fun. There was some debate over whether we should hang out at the pizza shack, the movies, or the mall, but no one had come up with a solution just yet.
We were right by the park when it began to rain. I don't mean a slight drizzle either. It was a downpour, torrential, a monsoon! We didn't have any umbrellas. The idiot weatherman predicted, "Clear skies all afternoon." I sometimes wondered if he just picked a forecast from the same wheel they put all of those lottery balls in.
Well there we were, caught in the rain. I tried to escape it, but Chelsea didn't. A lot of people didn't know this, but Chelsea adored the rain. She confided in me once that the soft patter of rain on her skin was the most relaxing thing she could think of. She didn't mind the wetness.
Other people scrambled for cover, pulling hoods on, grabbing newspapers, even using briefcases and purses. I had no such luck. I pulled the collar of my jacket up and zipped it closed. The rain was pounding down hard. I could hardly keep my eyes open against the heavy winds when I felt her soft hands gently grasp one of mine.
"Come dance with me." She shouted merrily as she dragged me and my other friend toward the center of the park.
"You're crazy." I shouted, but she didn't listen.
I protested, trying to glue my feet to the wet grass and she finally let go. That didn't stop her from dancing though. She moved to the center of the park where the trees parted, exposing the grey sky and unrelenting rain.
Spreading her arms, she twirled. She twirled, not as a child would twirl, and not as a ballerina would twirl, but somewhere between the too. It was elegant with just a hint of innocence that most people lose at our age. I watched, mesmerized by her movements. Hugging herself with one arm, Chelsea swayed back and forth. Her eyes were closed and her head was tilted back, letting the rain hit her face. I could see her smile. It was beautiful.
For a moment, the grey clouds parted just a little, letting the bright rays of sunlight in. The sun hit her at an angle, making the droplets of rain sparkle on her skin.
And in that moment, I knew that I was in love with her.
Things were never the same after that. Well, it was the same for the "Three Amigos," but only because this amigo was keeping their feelings a secret. I loved Chelsea, but I couldn't tell her. She was my best friend. If I did tell her, and in the off chance she did like me back, that would change and ruin everything at the same time. We were a trio, and it had to stay that way. You can't upset such a natural balance; bad things would happen if you did.
For those who have been in love, you know that there's a fair amount of pain that comes with it. It's not excruciating…but rather more of a dull ache that just won't go away. It's like your heart is a magnet that's being pulled toward something, but you can't let it connect. It hurts, and it's torture, because all I want to do is let my heart connect with the force it's attracted to, but I know that I can't.
With the dull ache comes fear. What if I were to tell her how I feel? There is a fairly large chance that she doesn't feel the same way about me. That pain is much worse than the current one. It's the pain of rejection. Because, even though I'm sure that Chelsea will be very nice and totally understanding, once you're rejected, your feelings don't go away. The dull ache is still there, but now the person you love knows about it. And it makes them feel guilty and uncomfortable. Discomfort leads to avoidance, and the last thing I want to do is lose Chelsea as a friend. Losing the person you love is the final nail in the coffin you made yourself.
So I won't tell her about my feelings. I will keep them to myself and deal with the dull pain and fear of rejection. Every day, I will sit by her, listen to her and sometimes look at her strangely. (Chelsea is a little slow on the uptake, and she sometimes says things before she thinks about them, but it's cute.) Every day I will sit by her and want to hold her hand. I will wish to feel her soft fingers between mine. I will fantasize about kissing her and wonder what it would feel like to have her soft, smooth lips brush against mine gently, but with an unspoken passion. I'll think about running my fingers through her fiery red silky hair.
And at night, I will dream about that day in the rain. As my eyes moverapidly behindmy closed eyelids, I will see her twirling and swaying. I will see the sun make her sparkle.
In my dream, I will see her come to me once again, wrapping her arms around me, pushing her body up against mine as she whispers sweetly in my ear, "I love you Raven Baxter."
And that night will last forever.
Hey, are you guys shocked? Did you think it was Eddie or did you know it was Raven the whole time? I got to admit that I don't write slash fics often. I love reading slash fanfics, but I never think that I can write them, mostly because I think they'll turn out awkward and unbelievable. So, tell me what you think, please.