Somehow, Somewhere, Someday
Anakin had been on a mission for four days, and Padmẻ began to worry about her feelings. Or should she say, lack of. Oddly, she discovered she didn't miss him at all and began to wonder if she even loved him or possibly ever had. The absence of his dark and mysterious moods, jealous nature, and immature behavior was a pleasure. Her day continued to improve as an old friend entered her apartment and moved toward her.
"I'm so happy to see you Obi-Wan." She greeted him with a kiss on his cheek and grasped his hands firmly.
Obi-Wan smiled, but immediately released himself from her grip and backed away.
Something inside Padmẻ snapped and a fire lit in her eyes. "Why do you keep doing that?"
"What do you mean?"
"Whenever I get near you, you pull away. Do you find me so repulsive?"
"Don't be ridiculous." He grinned in an attempt to quell the storm he could see rising within her.
"Then tell me why!" Her words were almost pleading.
It was a no-win situation for Obi-Wan. Denying and hiding his feelings for her were hurting her, and that was the last thing he wanted to do. She had approached him again and he shuddered at the feeling of her small soft hand lightly caressing his bearded face.
"Don't touch me like that Padmẻ, please. Anakin wouldn't approve."
"I don't care." She dropped her hand and strode away before turning back toward him, her arms crossed in front of her. " I don't know him any more. I don't think I love him any more."
As she looked at Obi-Wan standing across the room, the realization began to dawn. Who made her happier than Obi-Wan? Not Anakin. Who was she always thrilled to see? Not Anakin. Who haunted her dreams at night? Not Anakin. Padmẻ took a deep breath and stepped forward.
"It's you I want. I can't stand him touching me, much less making love to me. Sometimes when I close my eyes and his hands are on me, I pretend it's you. Obi-Wan, it's you I want to be with, not Anakin." She had been walking slowly toward him and her full pink lips and moistened dark eyes were now inches away from his. Obi-wan fought desperately against the desire to pull her into his embrace. Instead, he retreated once more, stepping away from her.
"You mustn't say things like that."
"Why not! I'm only telling you how I feel. You need to know."
The pained look in her eyes cut Obi-Wan's heart in two. He flung himself around, his robe swirling with the sudden movement and stepped toward the balcony. When he once again turned to face her, Padmẻ was shocked to see the tormented expression on his face.
"What do you want from me, Padme? You married him!" His words were sharp and emphasized by pointing his finger toward the doorway. "I can't have you. I can't be with you, and it's killing me." His words softened as his own blue eyes moistened with unshed tears.
Padmẻ rushed to him, wrapped her arms about him and sobbed into his chest.
"What are we going to do?" She looked up to his face and noticed tears streaming down into his beard. She had been wrong all along. Obi-Wan did care for her. He was in as much pain as she was. She was almost sorry for pushing him to this point, but it could not be helped. He would never admit his feelings any other way.
What had she done? Why did she allow herself to fall for such a sadistic child as Anakin when her obvious soul mate was within her grasp. A horrific prophecy quickly played out in her mind. She visualized Obi-Wan falling just beyond her outstretched fingertips and she was unable to touch him. She was losing him and she realized she couldn't let that happen. Ever. She didn't care what the cost, Obi-Wan was the love of her life. She couldn't let him get away.
Padmẻ tiptoed up to kiss away each tear moistening his face. She heard a sharp intake of his breath and caressed his coarse beard with her cheek. She inhaled his scent and tightened her arms about him, reaching far up under his robe, toward his shoulders. He felt so good against her.
Anakin's embraces were so awkward. His kisses had become rough and short. And he frightened her. At times, the things he said, the fierceness in his eyes as he looked at her sent shivers down her spine. Never could she remember holding him and feeling like she did with Obi-Wan now in her arms. The strength, the safety. This was what she needed. Her knees trembled, and her heart was racing and all from just an embrace. A twinge of trepidation went through her at the thought of how her body would respond to him in a more intimate situation.
Obi-Wan's own body was reacting much the same way. His strong hands gripped the back of her satin lilac evening gown and he shuddered as their release brought them into contact with the bare skin of her back. She was so soft. He had never felt anything like this. His body began to literally ache for her, a hunger that rumbled deep within him. Too many years of being chaste and blocking out too many emotions, denying himself the pleasures that life had to offer were all now coming to a head. He felt as if he were standing on the precipice of a tall tower, leaning out to grasp something just within his reach, knowing the danger, but deciding to take the risk and fall.
Padmẻ suddenly felt trembling lips touch her bare shoulder. They were soft and warm, and their warmth quickly spread throughout her body. His soft kisses soon burned a path up her neck and to her ear.
"You are so beautiful." His voice was husky and filled with emotion. Padmẻ had never heard him sound like that. She pressed her body even more tightly against him, molding her breasts against his lower chest , her thighs squeezing one of his own. Against her hip she felt a growing pressure. She relished the fact that she was the one who was affecting him this way.
She gasped quietly as he took her earlobe into his mouth and sucked on it, gently rolling it with his tongue. His kisses once again continued, trailing a path across her jaw, finally reaching her waiting mouth.
Padmẻ s lips trembled as he reached them. Her breaths came out in shallow pants against his moist lips. Obi-Wan sucked in her breaths, unwilling to allow anything that was a part of her to escape him. He opened his eyes slightly to see her that her own eyes were closed.
"Look at me." His words were low and hoarse.
Padmẻ s eyes fluttered open. They were even more dark than usual, and the desire he saw there caused a spasm to ripple through his lower body.
Once more he slowly lowered his head to hers, his lips ever so softly brushing against her own. Her hands had moved to his neck and she was running her fingers through the hair that hung against his collar. Urging his kisses to deepen, Padmẻ dug her fingers into his hair and gently pulled him toward her. Obi-Wan responded, his mouth now moving firmly against hers. A groan escaped him as Padmẻ 's lips parted and he felt her tongue searching out his own. He met her with a slow methodic caress that caused a mewl of passion to escape from deep within her.
Obi-Wan greedily devoured her mouth, running his hands firmly up and down her bare back before slipping underneath the silky material to firmly grasp her bare buttocks. The bold gesture caused Padmẻ to nearly faint. She wanted to climb inside of him and die of pleasure in his heat and strength.
Unwilling to take his hands away from their intimate location, Obi-Wan reluctantly pulled his mouth from hers in order to lower the strap of the evening gown off her shoulder with his teeth.
This was it, Padmẻ's mind raced. There was no turning back. She was suddenly frightened of the fact that she was finally getting what she wanted. And she wanted Obi-Wan so badly. She was offering herself to him - all he had to do was take her.
The strap of the evening gown had fallen off Padmẻ s shoulder, the silky material slipping down to expose her breast, its nipple hard and rigid, and begging to be brought into his warm mouth. Padmẻ gasped aloud as Obi-Wan's hot tongue encircled the rigid peak, sending what felt like electrical shocks throughout her body. "Oh my God." Her voice was barely above a whisper. The feeling of his hands firmly upon her bottom, and his mouth now upon her breast, Padmẻ wondered how much longer she would be able to support her own weight. Her knees were trembling uncontrollably. He continued to nuzzle the soft, sensitive flesh of first one breast and then exposed the other. His beard prickled, a titillating contrast she discovered, and she drove her fingers through his silky hair, gently guiding his head across her chest.
He suddenly raised, kissed her and backed her up against the balcony railing. Obi-Wan nudged his thigh against the lower part of her dress against that part of her that responded to him so readily.
"Yesss." Padmẻhissed through barely parted lips.
Obi-Wan covered her mouth once more, opening her lips with his tongue, which she met with her own. He sucked her lower lip between his teeth, nipped the corner of her lips, kissed her chin, her cheek, and her neck. Padmẻ dropped her head back and moaned aloud. Her moan turned into a gasp as Obi-Wan grasped her by her buttocks, lifted her off the balcony floor and sat her on the railing.
"I want you here….now." His words slurred as his mouth once again closed over her breast.
"Take me, Obi-Wan….I'm yours." She panted.
He was now looking deeply into her eyes, his hips thrusting provocatively against her pelvis.
It was Padmẻ's hands that sought to free Obi-Wan from his material restrictions. He moaned when he felt their coolness caress his heated and throbbing skin. Padmẻ wrapped her legs around his waist, pulling him toward her.
"Are you sure?"
"Yes." She whispered as her trembling hand guided him to her.
He kissed her again and with a gentle lunge, sheltered himself inside of her.
"Don't move." Her urged against her mouth.
"I need to."
"Don't move." Filling her completely, he stared into her hazed-over eyes and placed soft kisses once again across her cheeks, along her jaw, her eyelids, the corners of her mouth, and firmly upon her lips.
"I love you." His admission caused an increase in Padmẻ's already rapid heart rate and a lone tear slid down her cheek.
"Oh God, Obi-Wan. I love you too. I've always loved you."
The surge of comfort her words sent through him erased any doubts he had been harboring, and his hips began a rhythmic rocking against her. Her heels dug into his still clothed buttocks, urging him on.
An occasional headlight from a passing distant speeder reflected off of the sweat collecting on Obi-Wan's brow as he continued to hammer every last doubt from his mind with a series of sublime quakes. Padmẻ s own body responded simultaneously, grasping at him, gripping him, not wanting to let him go.
He muffled her cries of ecstasy with his mouth, probing her deeply with his tongue, his own moans echoing andvibrating through her body.
"I didn't mean to wake you." He whispered.
"Does this feel good?"
"You are so beautiful."
"Well, you feel beautiful."
"I had no idea that this would be so…."
"Nothing. Just, Obi-Wan."
"When does he get back?"
"When will I see you again?"
"I don't know."
"Please don't cry Padmẻ."
"I love you."
"And I love you. I promise you that somehow...somewhere...someday, we will be together. Sleep now."
"Good night Obi-Wan."