A/N: I know how late this is. I won't bother explaining. As it is, I'm rushing to write this since I leave in a few hours for camp, not to get back until a few hours before DH is released. Happy reading everyone!
There should be an epilogue to this after DH, but other than that, this is the last chapter.
DISCLAIMER: I don't own anyone mentioned in this chapter. Also, slight spoilers for the OOTP movie. If you've seen even a trailer, you're fine. And there's my own speculation about Book 7 in here.
"So," Lord Voldemort sneered. "So."
She gazed up at him in amusement. "So?"
"So," repeated the Dark Lord, for he had no idea what he was going to say other than that.
"Er… do you need some help?" Lucius offered.
"Yeah, really, I made up a list of interrogation questions," Rodolphus added.
"I think I can question a pathetic Muggle female all by myself, thank you very much!" Voldemort said indignantly, bright pink patches appearing in the apples of his deathly pale cheeks.
"And what does it matter if she's female?" Bellatrix asked dangerously.
"Er, nothing. Nothing. Forget I said that," Voldemort muttered.
The woman bound to the hair chuckled. Voldemort whirled on her.
"One more peep out of you, missy, and I'll start getting nasty!"
She snorted, almost derisively. "Oh, okay."
"Now then," Voldemort said. "Clearly, you fear me and my… um…"
She raised an eyebrow in confusion.
Voldemort strode over to Snape. "What's a phrase describing you guys?"
"What is this, Madlibs?" Snape sneered. "I have no idea what the hell you even mean."
"He means like, 'band of ingrates,' 'troops of devoted yet pathetic followers,' 'sadistic cohorts,', etc," the woman clarified.
"Exactly!" Voldemort snapped. "Anyways, back to the matter on hand. Aren't you afraid of us?"
"Of course not," she replied.
Voldemort looked highly scandalized. "Why the bloody hell not?"
"Because I control you," she explained.
"Do not!" Voldemort said hotly.
"Oh, shut up. You know I do, and that's why I'm here."
"Fair enough," Voldemort conceded. "That is why you're here. Bellatrix, lights!" he barked.
Bella flipped a switch and hot, bright lights appeared directly over the woman's chair.
"Now, then," Voldemort said, leaning in close to her. "Let's make this nice and easy. You answer a few questions, and then we don't kill you."
She rolled her eyes.
"Wormtail, hand me my interrogation list!" he snapped, and Peter rushed over and thrust a list trailing down to the ground into his master's hand.
"Excellent, excellent," Voldemort muttered. "Now then."
He moved in even closer.
"What happens?" he hissed.
"Pardon?" the woman asked.
"What happens to me in Deathly Hallows?"
"How should I know?" she asked.
"Because you wrote that infernal book, that's why!"
"True," J.K. Rowling said. "But even if I could, I'd tell you nothing. Spoilers, don't you know."
"But how am I ever going to find out?" Voldemort asked impatiently. "I can't very well go into a Muggle bookstore! They'd call the police!"
"And as sure as I am that the police are no match for you, there's a much simpler way of figuring out your fate," she said, yawning.
"Which is what?" he said though gritted teeth.
She got up, the ropes tying her to the chair falling to the ground and the bright lights extinguished.
"If you die on Saturday at 12:01 AM, then you'll know," she said, and left.
Voldemort stood there spluttering for about ten minutes.
"Boss?" Lucius said tentatively.
"What, Lucius?" he hissed.
"If it's any consolation, we'll probably die too."
"Well, maybe not you, Malfoy. Probably you'll just go back to life as normal and claim I Imperious'd you into following me, just like last time, remember?"
"Or maybe, you'll even go handing out some of my Horcruxes to Harry Potter's girlfriend!"
"Unlikely, as he'll probably destroy them all," said Rodolphus reasonably.
"Shut up, Lestrange," said Voldemort, his head in his hands. "You're not helping at all."
"Sorry," said Rodolphus.
"Besides, seeing as how you've never even been seen in person besides maybe under your mask at the Department of Mysteries, it's very likely you either will die, go back to Azkaban, or not even be mentioned at all," Voldemort said, glaring at him.
"Speaking of the Department of Mysteries," said Bellatrix, "wasn't I so cool in the new movie?"
"I think that Carter chick played up the insanity a bit," said Wormtail. "You're not that crazy."
"Thanks," she said. "I think."
"Ooh, ooh, what's going to happen to me?" asked Lucius.
"Sorry, man, but you have to die," said Rodolphus. "Probably by a Weasley's hand, I'm guessing. Revenge and all that."
"But I don't want to be killed by a blood traitor!" Lucius whined.
"What about Draco?" Bellatrix wondered.
No one knew.
"Oh, and Snape, who are you really working for?" asked Voldemort. "Seeing as how that's kind of important to me."
Snape shrugged. "Damned if I know."
"Well, all this guessing won't really matter in about five days."
"What's in five days?" asked Wormtail.
"Our next meeting," said Voldemort.
"Is it here?" asked Lucius, pulling out his day planner.
"No," said Voldemort. "It's in hell."