A/N: This is based on a true story... somewhat, anyway. My mother gave birth to my sister like this. She litterally went through something very close to this... I just wanted to write a fic about it...


The room was lit comfortably as Severus and Hermione Snape sat eating their dinner at their house in the far end of Hogsmeade. The sound of clattering forks and knifes sounded vaguely in between their conversation of today's events.

"Blasted children," Severus ended with a wry grin to his wife, who giggled lightly, "Hope our children won't be complete dunderheads," he shuddered at the thoughts, after which Hermione reassured him that they wouldn't.

"Severus," she said, with a mock superiority, "they're OUR children, how in the name of Circe can you even THINK they'll be less than brilliant?" She laughed softly and took a sip of her juice, before squirming in her seat.

Abandoning his food Severus asked: "are you alright?" while watching his wife intensely.

"Yes," she squirmed and stretched in her seat a bit, stroking her hand over her almost 8 and a half month large belly. "My loin is a bit sore," she admitted after having received a worried glance from her husband. "And my back," she added with a grin, which he only barely responded. "All day it's been hurting… I think it's close…"

"Hermione…" Severus trailed off for a moment, "you're not even in the ninth month yet," he informed and Hermione rolled her eyes at him.

"Really?" She mocked with light tease, "I had no idea," he wrinkled his nose at her and she grinned impertinently back at him.

"You've been up all day, you just need to rest," Severus assured her.

"Severus, I don't think I need to rest… I really think I will give birth soon," she deserted her food entirely and laid down her napkin, looking at Severus pleadingly. He gulped, not entirely sure of what to do.

"Well… I'll floo for a doctor to come by," he gave her a reassuring smile and then stood to move for the fireplace. Barely two minutes later a midi witch was feeling through Hermione's stomach, since spells were not to be used at pregnant women.

"Well, Mrs Snape," she said, slowly, "you're not due yet…" she trailed off, focussing on Hermione's stomach. "Your baby isn't due until a few more weeks. Feel here," she took Severus's hand and guided it around on Hermione's pregnant stomach. "This is the head, feel it?" Severus nodded. "I admit that the head it nearer the 'bottom' that supposed, but it won't be due until a few more weeks."

"Well, I don't bloody care." Hermione exclaimed, "something's not right, I can feel it," Severus looked questioningly at the medi-witch.

"Pregnant women are usually very sensitive about their pregnancy… and stubborn," the medi-witch explained Severus, who nodded eagerly, knowing what hell he'd gone through with Hermione and all her strange cravings and her absurd stubbornness.

"Hermione, this is a medi-witch, listen to her," Severus asked softly and Hermione hissed in return while pulling her blouse down to cover her belly again. The medi-witch gave her goodbye and then Severus was left with a very angry Hermione.

"Hermione…" Severus kissed her hand, "you can't give birth sooner than the baby is ready for," he explained and Hermione looked at him with flashing eyes. He gulped – again.

"Is that so, Severus?" She asked, too sweetly. "Gee, I had thought I should've given birth a few months ago!" And with that she gulped down a glass of water, which had been administered for her by Severus while the medi-witch had tended her. "I know my body and I know something is not right!" She stood and made a hissing noise in frustration and anger. "I need to do laundry!" And then she stormed off.


"Hermione, come to bed, you've been up all day," Severus called, barely an hour later. Hermione was now in the kitchen, tending the washing. She sighed of tiredly and decided to follow her husband's demand until she felt something wet running down her leg.

"SEVERUS!" She called. She would've grinned broadly if it hadn't been for a cramps by her loin. "MY WATER'S BROKEN!" … Silence…

"Hermione, don't be silly," he called back from the upper floor of their house.

"WHO THE HELL ARE YOU CALLING SILLY!" She screamed on the top of her lungs, in reply, "I'm giving birth down here and you're calling me silly!" The sound of feet scrambling over the floor and then the light steps of her husband moving down the staircase were heard. He appeared in the kitchen door looking confused, which quickly turned into a deadly pale and blank expression when he saw Hermione and the small pool by her feet.

"Hermione, your water's broken," he informed and Hermione sighed.

"HAS IT REALLY!" Her eyes flashed dangerously. It took a moment for Severus to scramble himself together and then he swept towards Hermione, carrying her to the floo. "NOT St. Mungo's!" She warned sharply, and Severus nodded quickly and called out for 'Hogwarts' instead.

"Well hello, Sev-" the medi-witch greeted and then fell silent. "Come," she moved towards a private section of the infirmary where Hermione was placed on a bed. "You're not supposed to give birth yet, Hermione," Madam Pomfrey informed, checking Hermione's lower quickly.

"Well, apparently someone else disagrees," she informed sourly, and Severus quickly informed about the St. Mungo's medi-witch.

"Well," Madam Pomfrey had managed to change Hermione into some hospital clothing –"you're not fully open," Hermione gave a low scream as she lived through a contraction.

"Do something, it hurts!" Hermione cried out. "Severus!" She called, almost crying of the pain of the contractions. Severus flew to Hermione's side, holding her hand.

"What about the contractions, Poppy? Don't they mean anything?" He looked at her pleadingly, hoping that there was some way of helping his wife through the pain.

"The contractions are normal for everyone. They lead up to the birth itself," Pomfrey explained.

"Yadda, yadda yadda!" Hermione continued, "but I don't care if I'm not open enough! I'm giving birth now!"

"Hermione," Severus said and Hermione looked at him angrily. "I know it hurts, but-"

"But what, Severus?" Hermione asked, "it hurts," she looked into his eyes sincerely and Severus leaned down and kissed her softly. Madam Pomfrey left in order to fill out some papers and Hermione and Severus was alone. For minutes Severus just spoke calming words to Hermione as he lead her through the contractions, which seemed to come irregularly.

"Severus," Hermione took a few deep breaths, "I'm giving birth now," Hermione informed, taking a few more deep breaths.

"Hermione, Madam Pomfrey only looked at you two minutes ago, and she said it would take a few hours," he soothed her and received a hard squeeze in return.

"No, Severus," Hermione was now speaking alarmingly calmly, "go get the Poppy," Severus looked at his wife for a moment and then stood and went for the medi-witch.

"Poppy?" The woman in question looked up from her papers. "Hermione says she needs to give birth," Severus looked strangely out of place and quite uncomfortable as he stood in her doorway. She smiled softly.

"Hermione is not open enough to give birth. It's the contractions which are talking," Poppy smiled soothingly to Severus, who nodded vaguely, not sure if he dared tell Hermione the news.

"Where is she?" Hermione scanned the room for the medi-witch.

"She says it's the contractions which are talking," Severus was almost pleased to see Hermione have another contractions. Not for the pain she endured, but for the fact that she wouldn't be able to throw a fit over it.

"I love you," she whispered as she leaned back in the bed, trying to relax.

Severus kissed Hermione and replied, "I love you, too," with more love than she had ever heard.

"Really?" She whispered softly.

"Really," he told her.

"Would you please tell Poppy to get the hell out then? I'm giving birth," she said, in a calm whisper.

"Hermione-" Severus whispered, caressing her cheek with his hand.

"Severus," she looked pleadingly at him. He rose and went in to get Poppy again,

"Poppy," he called again, "Hermione is sure that she's giving birth," he gave her a worried look and Madam Pomfrey smiled and stood.

"Fine, we'll assure her again," Madam Pomfrey and Severus went back to Hermione, who was lying in pain, clearly enduring a tough contraction.

"Good grace, Hermione!" Madam Pomfrey exclaimed, "You're giving birth!"

"What the hell have I've been trying to tell you?" Hermione nearly yelled and then pushed with all her might on the command of the medi-witch. Barely five minutes later a healthy baby-girl was given birth to.

"It seems someone couldn't wait," Madam Pomfrey laughed softly as she handed over the newborn child to his mother.

END


Ahh well. This was based on when my mother gave birth to my sister. Rather confusing and somewhat funny, too :-) please review.