Disclaimer: Ms. Hayden owns all characters and places except for Mary-Sue and who in their right mind would want the rights to that monster?

Yes, my friends, the story continues. The story of the dreaded being, no...less than a being…the dreaded thing known as Mary-Sue and the man who made it his mission to destroy her and her kind. Never fear loyal fans…Achmed will be there.


Achmed rested his forehead in the palm of his hand and sighed. It had been a long day; the Mary-Sue he had been hunting had managed to pollute the story completely before he could save it. Also, the Mary-Sue that had been haunting the castle of the Lord and Lady Cymrian had woven her spell deep into the hearts of the people of the castle and he was having difficulty up-rooting her. Achmed spent his time training by destroying lesser Mary-Sues.

A young woman clothed in a long black clock strode boldly into his chambers, "Achmed, Sir, we have reports of a Sue infiltrating a story in the Fruits Basket Universe."

Achmed looked up at the girl and sighed wearily. He saw a shadow pair of eyes up in the hood; the odd thing was that they were a startling shade of emerald green. Achmed thought to himself, My god…her eyes…they capture the soul and fire the imagi-, he stopped himself. He looked up quickly at the script scrolling across the sky. He looked at the girl, "The author! They're using Mary-Sue Adjectives!" He drew a short sword and lunged across his desk and stabbed the girl in the chest.

The cloak fell back and her eyes held a shocked innocence in them, then they began to change. They flashed from emerald green, to sea blue and then to fiery red. The girl let out a blood curdling scream and slowly dissolved to thick black sludge.

Achmed held the edge of his sleeve over his nose to try and block the putrid stench. They're moving in…if it wasn't for the scrolling script across the sky I could have been sucked in… Achmed shuddered, he had to put an end to this once and for all.


A/N: Yeah…it's random but it amuses me. The adventures of The Mary-Sue Slayer will continue. But a warning to all you Mary-Sue writers…That cold feeling over your shoulder while you write? That's Achmed…he knows…HE KNOWS!