Poor Mary Sue

Summary: A normal character is taken into the YuGiOh world by a fan writer and turned into a Mary-Sue against her will. Can anyone save her before she is trapped that way for eternity? Note the double parody sign, please.

Disclaimer: I own Emily, the fangirls Sari and Lara, and the Mary Sue that poor Emily becomes. I do not own YuGiOh, nor will I ever.

Okay, if you don't understand the fangirl speak, translations into proper English are at the bottom. Here I go. Wish me luck.

Poor Mary Sue

It was a normal day for Emily, a brand-newly created fanfic character who had not yet been taken for an assignment.

She was walking down the street of her hometown.

Let me describe Emily to you. She isn't much to look at. About fourteen, shoulder-length, stick-straight brown hair, brown eyes, baggy sweater and jeans, no makeup, no jewelry except simple, tiny gold hoop earrings. Only one in each ear.

In short, a perfectly normal girl enjoying a perfectly normal day.

But for poor Emily, this day was about to become a living nightmare.

It all started when the portal opened…and Emily, being the klutz she was, tripped and fell in.


The portal…and Emily…disappeared, leaving behind only a perfectly normal street.


Emily awoke to a strange voice speaking a language she didn't understand.

She opened her mouth to ask "What?" but it came out "Wat?"

She tried again. "Wat?"

Oh, the horror. I can't speak properly!

She opened her eyes and stared up at…a ceiling?

What? I was outside!

"OMG! Lok at h3r, Sari! She'l b purfekt 2 put inn aur storie!11! We ujst ned 2 ficks up h3r loks a bitt!1!111!" (1)

Emily blinked and rolled onto her side. She saw two girls she didn't recognize.

Her mind was busily trying to process these strange words.

At last she came to a conclusion.

There was only one thing in her mind.

NOOOOOOO! I never wanted to meet a Suethor! WHAT DID I DO TO DESERVE THIS?

The other girl nodded brightly. "If w3 upt h3r inn auur storie, she'l ned 2 b pretiful! lol I mad3 upp that wurd…………al bi miself!" (2)

The girls booted up their computer. They dumped her into it and she found herself in a…boy's room. And the boy was in there, sitting and staring blankly at the wall.

He turned to look at her. "Hey. What did you do to get dumped here?"

Emily shuddered. "They…they want to turn me into a…a…"

She couldn't say it out loud. She just could absolutely not say it. Finally, she forced it out in a whisper.

"A…Mary Sue."

He nodded. "Too bad. They had another one, but she was trapped by the Mary Sue hunters. Those people are keeping an eye on this story. I give your chances for survival as slim to none."

Emily looked at him, terrified. "But I don't want to die!"

"I don't think they care."

"Are they here?"

"Not until you're a full-blown Sue. By the way, I'm Bakura. Who are you?"

Emily stared. She knew about the anime fandoms, and she liked YuGiOh, and this was not how Bakura was supposed to act at all.

"You're Bakura?"

"I get that a lot now. I'm completely out of character, but until I'm out of this (shudder) fangirl story, there's nothing I can do about it. Do you know who you're supposed to be?"

Emily shook her head. "I'm Emily."

"Not anymore. They're renaming you as we speak."

"But I like my name!"

"They don't. Now you're…let me see if I can remember it…Rosalina Anastasia Cassandra Maria Elizabeth."


"If you want, you can stay Emily in our conversation. They'll just superimpose what they want us to be saying and doing over it."


Emily had caught her reflection in the window.

"I…I'm…I'm blonde! And it's long and wavy and beautiful and shiny and all the stuff my hair is not supposed to be!"

Bakura nodded. "And that's not the worst of it. Go look in the bathroom mirror."

Trembling, Emily did so. And within a few minutes…


AN: (1) Translation: Oh my God, look at her, Sari! She'll be perfect to put in our story! We just need to fix up her looks a bit!

(2) Translation: If we put her in our story, she'll need to be prettiful! Lol (laugh out loud) I made up that word all by myself!

Not being a speaker of fangirl chatroom talk myself, I'm not sure if this is the exact way they speak it, but I think it should be close enough. I'm sorry about the blatant spelling/grammar abuse you see here. It was agony to write.

So, what do you think so far?