August 19th, 2014

Standing on balcony gazing at city

Dear Diary,

Aaah, Paris. The perfect place to fall in love... WHICH I HAVE!

By the way, did you know Theresa's and my room has a balcony? 'Cause I didn't...

Oh well! Hey, guess what my favorite word is?

MARSHALL!

Oh my goddess, it has been spleetastic! Marshall and I have barely been apart the past few days. Yesterday, we talked the whole day. We just sat in my room and talked about everything, anything. Except the new Dark Lord, but, well, obviously. Anyway, Marshall now understands how a telephone works, and I know all about his first year at Hogwarts. No one ever told me he'd sent Jamie and I a toilet seat! So not fair. Shall have to whine to Mum.

Oh, and guess who's still in 'The Land of Not Gonna Happen' about Marshall and I? Why, our loving fathers, of course.

I mean jeez. The one time Dad walked in on us making out, he freaked and sent Mr. Cheeky Desk Clerk flying. Not that it wasn't amusing, but I got in trouble! Did I mention they still haven't found the bloke?

And when Draco found out, holy Sporks. Smoke almost came out his ears, and he was hoarse the rest of the day after all the yelling he did.

Fortunately, we have reinforcements: Mum and Parvati.

I'm telling you, these are women on the edge. Do not attempt physical contact, or to squash love, because it can result in exposure of magic and a very sore you.

Anyhoo, here's how the 'incident' went.

(Marshall and I are sitting on my bed making out. All of a sudden...)

Dad: (Walking in) Lila, do- BLOODY HELL!!!!!

Me: Dad...

Marshall: Uh, hi, Mr. Potter. We were just...

Dad: I KNOW WHAT YOU WERE DOING!

Me: Dad, we're dating, it's to be expected.

Dad: NO IT BLOODY WELL ISN'T!

(Jamie runs in, out of breath)

Jamie: (To Dad) What's going on? I heard you screaming in the lobby!

Dad: Never mind!

Me: We were making out, and Dad started-

Dad: ENOUGH, LILA!

(Draco Apparates in)

Draco: Harry, what the hell?

Dad: THEY WERE SNOGGING LIKE NO BLOODY TOMORROW! (Did I mention Dad says bloody a lot when he's p.o.ed?)

Draco: MARSHALL!

Marshall: (Rolling eyes) Oh, here we go...

Draco: I DIDN'T DO THINGS LIKE THIS, SO WHY MUST YOU-

Marshall: Oh yeah right! Mum's told me all about you and her in the Hogwarts closets!

Draco: WELL, THAT'S DIFFERENT! I WAS EVIL THEN!

Marshall: NOT WHEN YOU DID IT WITH MUM!

Draco: DON'T YOU RAISE YOUR VOICE TO ME!

Marshall: STOP YELLING AT ME, THEN!

Draco: DO NOT TRY MY PATIENCE, MARSHALL!

(Parvati and Mum run in)

Mum: What in Merlin's name is going on here?!

(Draco and Dad turn to her, both looking mad as Professor Trelawney. They open their mouths, but I save them the effort)

Me: Marshall and I were making out, and Dad and Draco are angry, for some odd reason.

Dad: LILA, DON'T EVEN GET ME STARTED!

Mum: Oh, Harry, do be quiet. Can't you see what's right in front of your face? Lila's not a child anymore. She's allowed to snog whomever she wants, within reason. Besides, you've never said a thing about Jamie.

Dad: WELL- (He gets flustered)

Parvati: And Draco, just because you did certain, er, things when you were Marshall's age, doesn't mean he's irresponsible enough to follow suit.

Draco: IRRESPONSIBLE! I DIDN'T HEAR YOU COMPLAINING!

Parvati: (Waves away his words) Oh Draco, we were kids. We were both irresponsible. Now it's time to let the children learn from our mistakes. Oh, and... (Pulls out wand, sticks it in his face) ...you ever yell at me that way again, and you won't have to worry about being 'irresponsible' anymore. (Raises an eyebrow)

(Dad begins to open his mouth, face bright red)

Mum: The same goes for you, Harry James Potter. Don't forget, dear; you always hurt the ones you love. I love you. (Smiles slightly sweet, slightly evil) Now, boys, I think we should have a double date. We haven't had one in a while, and it's about time we had another. Don't you agree, Parvati?

Parvati: Of course, Ginny. (Commanding) Come, Draco. (He follows her out, looking like a dog with his tail between his legs)

(Mum crooks her finger at Dad. He follows, looking exactly like Draco)

Me: Well. Guess we can't count on them to pay for the honeymoon.

(We laugh a little)

Marshall: At least our mums are rooting for us.

Me: Yeah. But I really didn't need to know what your parents did in the Hogwarts closets. Although, it does explain where Phae and her cousin Adreana must've been half the last school year. And they always had those goofy smiles on.

Marshall: Oh, yeah, they were with Sean Finnigan and Darren Thomas.

Me: (I raise eyebrow) And you know this how?

Marshall: (Shrugs) Well, you know, guys talk.

Me: Oh Goddess, did Jared Jordan tell you what we did in the Forbidden Forest that one time?

Marshall: (Eyes widen) Excuse me?

Me: (Laughing) Sorry, had to see the look on your face. (He tickles me)

Yeah, I know, we're kind of random, but that's how we connect. Anyway, can you believe how our dads completely freaked? It's like they were never our age. Luckily, we're got our mums to back us up. Who knew they could be cool?

You'd think our dads would wear the pants in the family and be breaking us up faster than Dumbly's starting feast speeches, but our mums must've replaced them with polka-dotted skirts while our dads were playing Quidditch. Good news for Marshall and I!

Notice, though, that Draco never freaked about Marshall snogging Theresa. Not that he knew, of course. But how could he not? They did it all the time.

Unbelievably, I wish it were September first. I miss Hogwarts, the feasts, the classes, the Professors (with the exception of Binns, Trelawney, and Snape), watching Quidditch, putting of homework, lazy days by the lake watching the giant squid, the closets and unused classrooms...

Anyway, the summer is progressing fabulously thus far. Except, of course, for the supposed 'new Dark Lord' business, but hopefully Remus will be able to disprove that. Hopefully.

I mean, come on, how unfair would that be? Life is finally going almost completely the way I want it, and then it all goes to pot again? Dad DIED for crying out loud! He died so I could have a wonderful life with Marshall Malfoy, and now someone ELSE is going to come barging in to ruin MY happiness? I'll tell you what I think...

$#!$#$&# BAD WORDS!!!!!!

Okay, am seething and trembling with anger. Must calm down. Just breathe in that cool French air before the new Voldy comes to kill me and I have to go into hiding and become incredibly emo! Er...and then DIE!...and then come back...hopefully...

Hang on, Theresa's screaming...oh, it's Remus.

August 19th, 2014

Sitting on balcony trying not to puke

Remus had news.

Me: (walking in) Theresa, it's just Remus.

Theresa: (is red, embarrassed, and frazzled) Yes, well, I know that now!

Me: So I assume you're here on business?

Remus: (blinks) I swear, Lila, you just sounded exactly like your father.

Me: (rolly eyes) Fab. So what'd you find out?

Remus: Nothing good, unfortunately.

Me: I figured that.

Remus: Maybe you should sit down.

Me: (I sigh) It's true, isn't it? There's a new Dark Lord, and he wants to kill me.

Remus: (nods unhappily) Not just you. Jamie, your parents, and probably the Weasleys too.

Theresa: What?!

Me: Figured that too.

Remus: Now, I expect you'll understand that we'll want to keep a close eye on you.

Me: Don't tell me: it's off to Grimmauld Place. No school this year.

Remus: No. You can go to school, but you will always have at least two or three Aurors and Order members watching out for you. Same for Jamie and all your cousins, including you, Theresa. You won't notice them, they won't get in the way of your life. They won't even do anything when—if you break the rules. (his mouth twitches) But at the first sign of trouble they are under strict orders to get you out of there. There will be no sticking around for the fight that's sure to follow. So try not to do anything too dangerous and...Fred and George-ish, all right? Go easy this year. (goes to Apparate, then stops) By the way, I haven't told your parents yet. I'm moving on to Ginny and Harry after I talk Jamie, Marshall, and the Weasleys that are here. After them I'm heading back to Britain to let the rest of your extensive family know. So if Harry and Jamie and everyone get a little overprotective, you're on your own. (I nod. We hug) Best of luck, sweetheart. (he Apparates)

( Silence.)

Me: I'm going back out on the balcony.

Theresa: (quietly) I'm going back to bed.

And here's where you came in.

It's kind of hot outside.

I'd go back in but I'm literally frozen with fear.

Someone wants me dead. They're going to try to kill me, and what's worse, my family.

Oh trousers, I knew something bad was coming.

Whoa! I'm hearing things.

Or my brother's in my head. I heard something like, It's all right.

How rude of him to butt in on my thoughts like that. I am now thinking that very annoying song Theresa found on her computer (Muggle device that connects them all together, it's very handy). We love it, but Marshall and Jamie can't stand it. It goes like this: RING RING RING RING RING, BANANA PHONE!

After a few repetitions, I told him to leave me alone.

Fine, he replied. Just remember that I'm always here.

"Yeah yeah," I grumbled.

Merlin's beard. I'm 15, for crying out loud! I shouldn't have to worry about things like this! All I should have to think about are OWLs and Marshall and…normal teenage girl stuff!

Why me? Seriously, why me? Why US? Why didn't stupid Voldemort mark someone else and pick on them? Why do all these evil jerks keep messing with my family?

Phae and Adreana are gonna freak.

August 20, 2014

In bed feeling like crap

Dear Diary,

I wish I were a Muggle.

Things are completely different now. It doesn't even feel like a vacation anymore. It feels like Be Weird Around Lila time. Theresa wouldn't even look at me this morning.

I know exactly what all of them are thinking. I'm like my dad, more so than Jamie. They all think I'm the one who'll stop the new Dark Lord.

Stupid evil people. Rawr.

Okay everybody, I know it took forever and I am SO sorry! And I'm sorry that things are actually getting serious, but don't worry! The humor will be back! Lila can't stay like this for long; she's a naturally insane person, like moi! I sincerely hope you enjoyed this latest installment, and I would greatly appreciate it if you pressed that pretty button in the lower left-hand corner of the screen and tell me what you think!