Urges – Chapter 8: The Final Chapter
Two weeks. Two fucking weeks. Because of my moron of a father, my boyfriend hasn't spoken or even looked at me in two fucking long weeks. Everyday when I go home, I look at my dad, and the urge to beat him up, like I did when Uryuu left my house that day, grows stronger. Especially since he's avoiding me.
He had hit me. That bastard punched me in my face, breaking my nose, after Tatsuki kicked my dad and slammed my door shut. For someone so skinny, Uryuu really has a powerful right hook; it's probably from using his Quincy bow.
It had hurt. It hurt my nose when he punched me. It hurt me that he left me to deal with the mess that my dad created all alone. I wasn't fucking air. I was fucking him and he completely removed himself from the situation without out even caring that I was going to have to deal with my dad and my three female friends by myself. It wasn't easy. Orihime, Rukia, and Tatsuki were easy to deal with… it was that damn goat-face that was so hard to deal with, especially him trying to give me The Talk after I'd been having sex with Uryuu for a while.
I thought we were a couple, two people who support each other through everything. Maybe I was mistaken. Maybe he doesn't like me like I thought he did.
I look up from the book I'm supposed to be ready during study hour, a few of my classmates chatting quietly in small groups. I close my book and take a deep breath. I'm need to talk to him. I need to hear his voice.
As I move to get up, Uryuu gets up from his seat and walks right by me to talk to Chad about something, completely ignoring my presence. I stare straight ahead, shocked that he would ignore me so blatantly. I turn my head to see if anyone had noticed the cold action, finding Orihime looking at me with pity in her eyes. Oh, fuck this!
I continue getting up, but instead of confronting Uryuu like I really want to, I leave the classroom, surely getting strange stares when I slam the door open and then shut. I can hear the murmurs of the students as I walk down the hallway to the stairs.
I climb the stares to the roof, ignoring anyone who passed me, barely aware of their nearly palpable fear of my angry face. I open the door to the roof, and step into the bright sunshine, the warmth calming a little of my anger. I just don't understand what's going on in Uryuu's mind.
I sit down against the warm railing of the roof and my eyes almost immediately snap to the spot that I fucked Uryuu while Urahara was cuffed to the rail. That was a good day. That was the day that I think I started falling for him. Before it had just been lust and a little bit of affection for him (otherwise I wouldn't have asked him out), but after that day, I found myself being pulled in by his gravity.
I thought it would be okay if our relationship was just physical, but then I started to want to see him more. I started going over to his apartment and walking with him to and from school. I enjoyed looking at him, seeing his lithe body move when he would walk, seeing how his blue eyes would smile at me, even when his mouth was frowning. I liked to look at the emotions run across his features when we had lay in bed during our post-coital bliss.
And then I had to hear him, had to hear his voice. I would call him on his mobile just to hear his annoyed tone while he chided me for interrupting his studying or sewing. I remember a time when I wasn't friends with him and his voice was like fingernails on a chalkboard to me. Now, his voice is almost musical, even when he yells at me. Now… he doesn't speak to me; he avoids me.
And it's so fucked up now.
I never thought I would think this, but… I miss him. Over the past few months, he had become a constant in my life, nearly as constant as the air I breathe. But now, I feel like I've been abandoned and thrown away at his convenience. And it makes me doubt the past few months. Were they all a lie?
I bow my head, my orange hair shadowing my eyes. It feels like someone's watching me, but I know I'm not the only one on the roof during study hour. I look up for a moment and see someone walk to the stairs. Was that him?
***** Later *****
As I stand here on at the intersection across the street from school, I can't help but to feel somewhat depressed. I don't think I've ever felt this before, this… emptiness that I'm feeling as a result of not having him with me, near me… I'm beginning to sound like old goat-face, but maybe that what love does to someone.
I love him.
Even though he's being a bitch right now, I still love him. I know that he has issues that he must get over before he can truly be with me. I just… want him again. Since that day Dad caught us, I've had this urge to hold him and to hug him. I don't understand this feeling, but it's similar to the need to protect my family from whatever comes at us, be it Hollows or whatever. But he's off being a bitch and I feel completely shut out from him. I'm pretty sure that's a way to break up a relationship. It's really annoying and a bit inconsiderate. Maybe I'm just selfish. I want to give him his space, but at the same time, I want to take up all his time, mind, and heart.
I watch as the traffic lights change from red to green and I begin my trek home, passing stores and people, ignoring everything around me. None of it matters. I just can't bring myself to care while I feel like this.
And then I feel him. His reiatsu. And it's strong.
I look around the immediate area I'm in, looking for him, desperately searching. Then I see him.
Damn, he has a nice ass! He can wear his gray school pants any day. They just stretch so nicely across his ass.
…I miss his body too.
I stride up behind him, watching as his shoulders tense up, no doubt sensing my near out-of-control reiastu. It's a wonder that I haven't attracted any powerful hollows in the past couple of weeks.
"Kurosaki." What the fuck?
"Don't call me that."
"What do you want?"
"What the hell do you mean? You know exactly what I want."
"I'm not going to sleep with you." Is he serious? Is that what he really thinks about our relationship?
"Fuck you! You know damn well that that isn't what I want from you." Grabbing his wrist, I drag him down the sidewalk, to an empty street, glad that we could have a modest amount of privacy. When I stop us, after he's struggled to pull his wrist from my grasp I release him as he tugs at his wrist again, his face red in anger.
"Don't touch me again." Uryuu looks away from me, wrapping his arms around himself as if it were cold.
I just stare at him blankly. He… doesn't want me to touch him anymore?
"What's going on, Uryuu?"
"I think we need to not see each other anymore. I do hope you understand", he says with such calmness that it scares me a little.
"Not at all You gave me nothing to understand. You're going to have to tell me why we shouldn't see each other anymore. A few weeks ago you weren't saying anything of the sort. Nor did you say anything two weeks ago. So why do you think we should stop seeing each other?" I'm so pissed right now. There's no basis for any argument he has or may come up with.
"Don't call me that!"
"-you know our relationship was purely physical, no emotions attached. I felt cheapened by the relationship so I think we should officially end it for some closure so we don't get the wrong idea about our… relationship. It was fun, but we need to end it." He pushes up his glasses in that arrogant way, looking completely under control, but I can see his hand trembling and him swallowing nervously.
"Don't lie to me. Don't you dare fucking lie to me. You know that our relationship is built on more than just sex. You know that I'm happy with you. You know that I wouldn't even talk to you if I didn't have any feelings for you."
"What? No love confession? Isn't it how it works in romance novels? Guy gets mad and confesses love to the girl and they live happily ever after?"
"Is that what you want? You want me to tell you that I love you?"
"Sure, if it ends this ridiculous talk we're having. I have more important things I've got to do."
I feel my rage escalate at his nonchalant sentences. Fuck it. I grab his arms and push him against the wall that's we stopped at.
"Fuck you, Uryuu. Fuck you." I can feel my hollow stirring around. Uryuu can feel it too because his eyes widen before narrowing in on me with a glare that would send even an Arrancar back to Hueco Mundo with its tail between his legs.
"Let go of me."
"Let go of me now."
"Not until you tell me why you've been ignoring me for the past couple of weeks. Was it because goat-face walked in on us?"
He blushes but somehow manages to look angry… a confusing guy, he is.
"I don't have to tell you anything. Now, let me go or I'll yell out."
"I'll silence you."
"And how would you do that?"
I lean down and place my lips on his, moving them slightly, hoping that he would reciprocate the kiss, which would mean that he doesn't really think our relationship was just about sex. I continue kissing him for a few seconds before I pull away. But right before I pull away from, I feel his lips move against mine. I pull back anyway, wondering if he was really responding to the kiss or trying to say thing, but when I look at him, his eyes are closed and his cheeks are flush.
"Why are you so damn insistent, Kurosaki?"
I loosen my grip on his arms, hoping there won't be any bruises. I press him to the wall with my body, the warmth of sharing body heat calming us from our anger.
"Why are you so fucking stubborn? Didn't I tell that I was happy with you?"
"Happy that you're getting ass?" So… he really does feel that way. I resign myself to the fact that it was just sex and nothing more for Uryuu.
"No. I could get ass from anywhere, but it's only your ass that I want. You understand me, and I thought I understood you. I thought we accepted each other for who we are. Maybe I was wrong. Perhaps our relationship was really shallow. Maybe I read too much into it." I frown, my chest hurting. Taking a step back, release him completely and turning my back to him. "You know… I hope you have a nice life."
"Kuro- um… Ichigo." Back to toy with me more. Fucking bastard.
"What do you want now? You made it clear that you hate me and the time we spent together was meaningless to you. So what more could you want from me now?" Damn, he pisses me off. "Fuck! What the hell?"
"I…" I turn and look at him, gasping when I see the tears welling up in his eyes. Then he mumbles something.
"What did you say?"
"I don't hate you… at all."
"Then what is it? You pity me for falling in love with someone who clearly is so selfish that they would toy with my emotions. You're sad because you won't be having sex anymore? Really, what is it?"
"Will you shut up for a minute? Let me defend myself. This argument is really one-sided if you don't let your opponent get any talk time." I huff in my stubbornness, smirking to myself that Ishida actually believes our relationship isn't this one-sided, physical thing he was talking about.
"Ok. Talk. Or quit wasting my time." I scowl at him as I watch as he deflates a bit, sliding down the wall into a crouch. I stand above him, hovering over him in an intimidating way, putting the pressure on him.
"Ichigo," he starts in a small voice, "I really enjoyed our time together. I enjoyed everything about it. I want more. I need more, but I can't push myself into anything more than what we have. I can't. Too many times have I been promised something from people I care about, and too many times, they've let me down. My father promised my mom that he would take care of me, but as soon as I was old enough, he stopped. He began to ignore me. My grandfather cared for me. I truly felt abandoned when he was killed by those hollows and I can't bear that feeling again." His bangs shield his eyes from me, but I can tell he's showing me a great amount of himself
I crouch down in front of him, staring at him in wonder. I knew that he kept to himself for a reason, I just didn't know that the reason was that. "But I don't break my promises. If I promised to get you ice cream in the middle of the night, I would. If I promised I would stay with you, I would. You just have to trust me on that."
"And I want to. Kami, how I want to... You're the only one who's made the effort to even be around me. Other people would ask if I wanted to each lunch with them, and when I declined, they would never ask again. But you… You insisted and if I hadn't walked to the roof that time, I'm sure you would have carried me."
"So then why not just trust me anyway? I trust you with my life. I trusted you enough to fuck me though you did bind me at first. I'd let you fuck me again whenever you want to. I trust you enough for that. You trust me with your body. How can you not trust me with your heart? I've given you mine."
And somehow, I've startled my Quincy. He opens and closes his mouth in a good impression of a fish, assuming he's trying to find something to say… just there's nothing coming out.
"BAKA! Why do you say embarrassing things like that?" He looks away from me, his face burning a bright red.
"What was embarrassing about that?" He's so confusing sometimes.
"Eh, uh… betsuni…" Liar.
He starts to say something but then he closes his mouth. If he has something to say, I wish he'd hurry the fuck up and say it. I stare at him for a few moments while he tries to say what he's been trying to say. Finally after a few more seconds of the fish impression, I can't take it anymore.
I lean forward, placing my hands on his cheeks and kiss him. I kiss him softly, a kiss meaning much more than the sex I would like to have with him right now. He grunts into the kiss as he catches his balance, grabbing onto my shoulders. I keep my eyes open to see his reaction only to find his eyes staring back into mine filled with fear and longing and more emotions than I've ever seen from him. His hands start balling into fists as the kiss continues on. Finally, I let my eyes slip close, breathing heavily through my nose as I lick at his lips for entrance. When he opens his mouth and my tongue greets his after two weeks, he groans in to my mouth and pushes me away from him.
"You know you can breathe through your nose", I tease. I stand up, my legs tired from being in that position too long, holding my hand out to help him stay. He stares at it for a moment before he grabs it and he's standing against the wall.
"Ichigo… I don't know if I can give you everything you want. I mean, I really like you." His face flushes under my palms, his skin warming with the redness. "I really like you a lot even though you're loud and reckless and have no sense of self and a complete dumbass."
I think he just confessed to me. Is that what a normal confession is like? Do girls insult the guys they like when they confess? Well it is Uryuu. He insults me when he says arigato.
Holy fuck! Uryuu just said that he likes me a lot. Does that mean he loves me? Is liking someone a lot the same as loving them?
How do I respond to that?
"I love you, too." Holy shit! Holy shit! Holy shit! Holy shit! Holy shit! I went too fucking far. I'm an idiot. I stare at him with something akin to horror on my face as I watch his response. First his eyes widen and his mouth drops open. And then he stares at me.
He fixes his faces within a few moments, looking warily at me. "Do you mean it? Do you really love me?"
"Yes." I say without hesitation, firming my expression into one of determination and confidence. I find my heart fluttering when he smiles softly at me.
He places a hand on my chest, over my heart, probably feeling my racing heart. He moves it up over my shoulder and up my neck, running his fingers through the shorter hairs on the nape of my neck. He pulls my head forward until our foreheads' touch, our bodies touching. I can feel his warm breath fanning across my lips, his breath coming out in short pants.
Suddenly his other hand joins the other, his body tensing all over, his hands in fists. "Ichigo. Ichigo." My name is a mantra on his lips. He closes his eyes tightly, his teeth bore in some sort of anguish. "Fuck it."
And then his lips are smashed against mine, his mouth open as if he's trying to devour me. I open my mouth to him, our tongues waltzing around each other, our bodies pressing closer together.
Was he trying to resist something earlier? Was he losing control of himself?
Uryuu pulls away from the kiss suddenly and pinning me with a glare, he says in a deep throaty tone, "My apartment." I look at him confused until he grabs my hand, tugging me behind him as he nearly begins to run, his apartment only a few blocks away. And somehow I can't bring myself to care that my fingers are being squeezed to the point of breaking or that I'm somehow lost since it seems were taking a different route to his apartment. All I can do is look at the back of his head, at his perfectly, shiny, black hair as the wind from his movement stirs the strands in their rest. I just follow him in a confused haze, thinking about his words, "I like you a lot". To me, it sounds like "I love you", but I know it's his way of protecting himself still. I can't hold it against him. I'm just glad to know of his feelings and that it's all out in the open.
He turns a corner while I'm not paying attention, nearly flinging me into the wall. Talk about a wake-up call~
After THAT, I tug my hand from his, pushing him against the nearest wall, pressing him into it, my body pressing against his. And I kiss him hard, kissing him slowly, my hands running up his sides, untucking his shirt as our mouths battle for dominance, the kiss wet and passionate. "Why the rush, Uryuu?"
"Shut up!" He fists his hands in my hair, pulling my mouth harder against his, my body flush against his. It's at that moment that I feel his heart racing against my chest. And I know that it isn't from our slight sprint. He's been as many battles as I have and he isn't easily winded. Knowing that his heart is beating that fast makes my heart beat faster for him.
Kami, I want him so bad right now. I think we've just taken a major step in our relationship.
And then he's pushing me off of him, his chest heaving as he gives me a heated glare. Then he simply turns and stalks away. What did I do to piss him off now?
He turns his head, looking at me sideward. "You coming?" And he steps into his apartment complex gate. Well hell… I didn't know we were already here… I jog after him, only slowing to see his sweet ass in those forsaken pants.
"Quit staring at my ass, Ichigo." How he does it fucking amazes me. So I slip my finger into his belt loop, tugging him back against me, my arms wrapping around his waist, our steps in sync. And somehow, without falling, we make it to his door, my lips suctioning onto his neck as he pulls his keys from his pocket to unlock the door.
It seems he's having a bit of a problem as he keeps losing the key and drops his keys. Though I can't complain about the dropping because he bent over, his ass just… there... I couldn't stop staring. Well, that is until he punched my leg and stood up.
He finally gets the key into the door and unlocks the door and we fall into his home, him on his back and me on top of him, kissing him senseless. I grind my hips against his, managing somehow to close his door, my mouth working its way down his jaw line.
And then I feel a slight burning sensation on my back… Good fuck, he has some sharp fingernails. I'm pretty sure I'm now missing skin on my back as he just clawed at my shirt to remove it. He could've at least asked me to remove it... I sit up to my knees and gaze at him, pulling my shirt off my body, my eyes never leaving his as I toss away my shirt.
I don't think he can speak. He just keeps nodding at me. Whatever. I pull him to his feet and hold his hand as I take a few steps, pushing him backwards onto the bed. I crawl over top of him, leaning down and taking his mouth with another passionate kiss, his tongue trying to choke me as his arms wrap around my neck. I lean back up, pulling him with me so he's sitting in front of me, panting harshly, my eyes roaming over his body.
Nipples? Check. Bulge? Check. Crooked glasses? Check.
"Shirt." Apparently I'm losing my words too. No more sentences for him.
But he gets the message. With the buttons that just exploded off his shirt and hitting me in the forehead.
But I can't care. I lean over and lick his nipple, my fingers pinching the other as he grips one of his pillows hard, his eyes half-lidded as he arches his back, his mouth hanging open as a hoarse cry sounds from him.
I can't even think.
I lick my way down his belly, my eyes closed for fear of seeing something so... hot that I cum too early. When I reach his pants, I look up at him, his eyes now closed as if waiting for the inevitable pleasure. Smirking, I open his belt and pants, pulling his pants and underwear off, leaving him in just his black socks which I promptly peel off, gazing down at him.
"Ich... igo..." So he has words left. And did his voice reach a new level of sexy? Damn.
And then he trumps his voice as he rolls over onto his stomach and looks back at me, his hips moving against the sheets.
Fuck. I'm definitely not going to last long. He always knows how to make me react strongest. And I'm sure he evilly exploits it just to get me to fuck him faster and harder. Bitch.
I slide back a bit on my knees and lean over, spreading his cheeks and push my tongue against his entrance.
I don't think I've seen him this sensitive; not even when we first started fucking. He just about came up off the bed and he ripped the sheets from the mattress. I'm doing something right.
I bury my face between his cheek and lap at his entrance, holding his hips tightly, my tongue flat against his hole, watching up his back as he squirms and moans and pushes back against my tongue. Perhaps two weeks is too long for us to go without any contact.
"Fucking put it in!" So demanding...
"I've gotta prepare you a little..."
"Fuck it! Put it in me now!" Greedy little fucker.
But I appease him by sitting up to my knees and digging under the poor, abused pillow for the lube, pulling out the almost empty tube. And then I drop it when I look down and see him with two fingers in his ass, pumping them in and out, stretching himself.
Kami-sama, give me strength!
I open my pants, letting the lube rest against his squirming hips, pushing my underwear and pants to mid-thigh, not wanting to waste anymore time. He looks back as I grab the lube again and immediately reaches for my cock, stroking me, my body growing rigid as I love the feel of his hand on my member.
Those finger... FUCK.
I remove his hand from my cock and slather on some lube, tossing the now empty tube onto the floor.
And he lifts his hips.
We both aren't going to last long at this pace.
I put my cock against his entrance and hold his hip, letting him push back and control how fast everything is goING!
He could've gone slower. Fuck, he could've gone much slower... Should've gone Kami...
He's going to take my member all at once and then start riding it? I can't leave him hanging.
I pull his hips against mine and slam forward at the same time, smirking as I watch his chest hit the bed, burying his face in the pillow, his moans hardly muffled by the cotton. I watch as he rolls his hips, moving back and forth counter my thrusts, his voice so hoarse and loud that my balls are already tensing.
I pretty sure he's not suppose to orgasm that soon... It's probably the two weeks of no Ichigo... probably.
I reach below him and wrap my hand around his twitching cock as it shoots cum onto the sheets, stroking him as I continue to thrust into him.
"Ichigo! Fuck!" You're welcome.
I lick my fingers of his cum, tasting it for a moment before gripping his hips and pulling him back, going as deep as my hips would allow me to go, grunting as I empty my balls into him, moaning his name quietly, just loud enough for him to hear before I collapse on top of him and roll to the side, my member still in him.
And we lay there, listening to each other pant, a sound we weren't sure we would ever hear again.