Clark the shark

Disclaimer: If i owned Smallville Lana would be a llama.

A/N: Once again i must apologise profoundly for this fic, but i was bored so i thought; 'why not turn Lana the Llama into a series?' A good responce would have been because its a terrible idea, unfortunately before i thought of that i'd written this. So i present 'Clark the Shark' the second in my 'people who turn into things that sound like their names' series.

Chapter 1: the only chapter

It had seemed a very ordinary day for Clark. He'd woken up, walked down stairs eaten his breakfast and endure mockery from Lois Lane. He'd done this, of course, bare-chested. Much later he had gone back upstairs, showered and, eventually, put on a shirt. He then fed the llama and walked to school.

School had been surprisingly uneventful, which in Smallville translated as; 'no student had exhibited thus unheard of powers brought about by the meteor shower,' and as a result Clark had been able to spend the whole day mooning over Lana.

Now Clark, although not dumb by our llama-morphing friend's standards, was not the most observant of people. Had he been he might have noticed a lot of things; firstly he might have noticed that in addition to his usual farm chores he was now also feeding a llama; he did not. Secondly he might have noticed that 'Lana' had changed a lot over the past few months; not only was she very different in appearance, much more intelligent and far less annoying, she had developed a keen interest in the torch. Had he noticed this he might also have noticed Chloe's mysterious disappearance and how it coincided with these miraculous changes in Lana. Of course he had not, so this is all irrelevant.

There were many more things Clarks could have noticed, all as fascinating as the things Lana could have noticed in the prequel; however in this case not only am I too lazy to tell the stories behind them but indeed even to list them. Sitting in class he stared lovely at Lana's short raven hair, wondering when she had cut it.

"Lana" he sighed, and to his surprise she turned round.


Thinking, and in doing this proving he could, he quickly made up something to say to her, "do you want to go swimming tonight?"

Since conversations aren't really my strong point, I'll skip the next part. This is not, as some would have you believe a shameless attempt by the author to build suspense in an otherwise plotless tale. To prove this, I'll point out that she said "no," purely because the new Lana, unlike the old one, had finally got over Clark and was instead enjoying the popularity her new identity brought her; by dating every guy on the football team.

For some inexplicable reason, which can be explained by the authors need to get Clark in water, he went to the lake himself, took off his shirt and dived in.

What our hapless hero did not realise was that a new strand of Kryptonite created for the sole purpose of turning Kryptonians into water mammals had been washed up into the lake by a freak storm the week before. It is for this reason, and not for the reason that his name sounds like a shark, that he became one. Luckily for him, this was only temporary and after about a week he was once again happily a human… well alien. (The reasoning behind this could also be said to be that without Clark Smallville would be a bit of a pointless show). He quite helpfully forgot this whole incident and went on to become superman in the distant future, not before walking around without a shirt a lot and feeding his llama. Even though he didn't realise he had one.


A/N 2: thank you to everyone who reviewed Lana the Llama i was happy., and would love more! Apologies for the continued bad grammar and punctuation, learn my lesson; "never use someone whos worse at english than you to check your stuff" darn you Tom!