Shadow: (Over dramatically with Las Vegas like gestures, DDR music in background) And welcome to the next chapter in MISS TEEN JUMP CITY BEAUTY PAGEANT! (waits for applause crickets chirp) That title gets longer every time… Okay, its time to introduce my awesome guest star who is so cool and not paying me ten bucks to say that… My cousin Happy Sun! A.K.A. Sol… (curtains lift; Sol and BB are playing DDR) Um… Sol…
Sol: Ha, ha BB! You suck at this game!
Beast Boy: Duuude… It's only my eleventh time losing! Just cuz you rock and I suck AND you aren't paying me ten bucks for that, doesn't mean you need to rub it in!
Sol: … (Sweatdrops)
Beast Boy: OK, so it does, but STILL!
Cyborg: Hey, you do realize we're on, right?
Shadow: Took ya long enough…
Sol: Well… It was an important song…
Beast Boy: It sucked…
Shadow: (To Cyborg) What's with all the three dot things?
Cyborg: Dots are cool…
Shadow: Oookaaayyy then… Shoot, I just did it… twice… three times… THIS SUCKS!
Sol: (Arguing with BB & is demonic) MY SONG IS SO FREAKIN' AWESOME, YOU, BB, ARE JUST JEALOUS OF MY SKILLS!
Beast Boy: WANNA BET DUDE?
Sol: YEAH! MACARENA DANCE OFF!
Shadow: (Sweatdrops as BB and Sol do Macarena as fast as they can) OKAY ALREADY! BB, dedication! Cyborg, disclaimer! Sol, SHUT UP!
Shadow: AND ENOUGH WITH THE DOTS ALREADY!
Everybody but Shadow: Awww…
Shadow: I SAID NO MORE DOTS!
Beast Boy: Fine. Be that way. This chappie is dedicated to ?.
Cyborg: Shadow doesn't own Teen Titans, but she owns the contestants and Steve.
Shadow: I don't own Happy Sun either… If I did there'd be no more STUPID THREE DOTS!
Beast Boy: But you just did three dots!
Sol: YOU DID IT AGAIN! Ready BB, just like we practiced!
Sol and BB: (singing) Three dots, three dots, you typed three dots!
Shadow: Um… How did you know I was going to get annoyed with the dots?
Sol: The power of the shiny knows all! SHINY!
Shadow: She likes shinys…
Sol: Grr… MY SHINY! (pulls out light up fan, hypnotizes BB) YAY SHINY!
Cyborg: She has issues…
Sol: Bite me!
Cyborg: It'll snap BB out of the trance so…
Sol: Just try it… Grrr…
Cyborg: Maybe I will! (big fight)
Random Person: … What's that all about? (points at fight)
Shadow: WHAT DID I SAY ABOUT THE DOTS! (Random Person runs away, Cyborg and Sol stop fighting)
Sol: But Shadow… They're essential to this conversation!
Shadow: (Surrounded in black aura) NO DOTS! (All cower in fear of Shadow)
Sol: Okay! You win!
Cyborg: Better start the fanfic before she kills us, she's getting all… DEMONY!
Sol: Yeah… She might destroy my precious paperclips! HOW WILL I LIVE?
Cyborg: You have issues… seriously…
Shadow: NO! MORE! DOTS!
TECHNICAL DIFFICULTIES: PLEASE STAND BY
Sol: (beat up) That hurt.
Cyborg: Yeah, but BB snapped out of his trance when Shadow brought out the duck!
Beast Boy: Dude! That was funny! She was all, BLAM! And then Sol was like, "Oh, I got skills man!" And then Shadow said, "HEEE-YAAAAHHH!" And it was like KABLOOIE!
Shadow: (sweatdrops) BB… That never happened…
Beast Boy: Oh…
Sol: (brings out fan, re-hypnotizes BB)
Shadow: I'm not going to ask… Cursed dots… (Twitch, twitch, twitch)
Sol: As long as I have shiny paperclips, all is well!
Cyborg: I hope we get BB back to normal by the end of this chapter…
Sol: Hey! Shadow's not going ballistic over the dots!
Shadow: Later… Shoot! I did it again! Note to self: research and destroy inventor of the …!
Cyborg: What does "ballistic" mean?
Sol: That's for me to know and you to find out!
Cyborg: (Bleeped out for taste, thank you very much!)
Sol: (maniacal laughter) Watch your words! Where did you learn that one? Woo boy was that a bad one!
Shadow: (hastily) um… time for the fanfic!
Miss Teen Jump City Beauty Pageant
Chapter 6: You Call That Security?
WALKING DOWN THE STREET TO THE MTJCBP
"Since we can just go to the pageant, why don't we just go there and not have me compete?" Raven begged- or, at least, as close to begging you can get while speaking monotone.
"Raven, we need someone who has access to all parts of the theater," Richard (a.k.a. Robin) replied.
"We're the Teen Titans. Why couldn't you just get permission-"
"Because the MTJCBP didn't believe us," Victor (a.k.a. Cyborg) answered.
All five of them were going undercover, but only one of them had to walk around in a bathing suit and stilettos. Robin was going as Richard Greyson (clothes: red shirt, jeans, and nice big sunglasses), Starfire was going as Kori Anders (clothes: a short-sleeved purple almost-off-the-shoulder shirt, purple skirt same length as her normal one), Cyborg was going as Victor Stone (clothes: same as in episode "Deception" minus head thing), Beast Boy was going as Garfield Logan (clothes: green shirt and jeans), Raven was going as Raven Roth (clothes: short-sleeved sky-blue not-plunging-at-all-v-neck shirt (A.N. what type of writer do you think I am!), a light denim skirt that was just a little longer than her finger tips, and a pair of black heels). Victor was wearing the rings that made him look human, and Logan had a pair that made his skin look normal.
They continued walking (Robin thought the T-Car was too conspicuous looking) in silence.
Some guy whistled as Raven walked by; she meant to give him her death glare, but it came out confused (Logan gave the guy a look that would make Trigon proud). 'I guess the make-over worked' she thought. She was right: her skin was now a nice tan color, she was wearing a sheer pink lip gloss, and her "hair" was expertly styled (and not moving on its own) with straight layers and angular side-swept bangs that hid her chakra perfectly. No one would ever be able to guess that this pretty girl who was just going to compete in a pageant while her supportive friends watched was the same girl who had nearly destroyed Cyborg when he suggested she get the blonde wig instead of the purple one. They never did find all of his pieces…
Cyborg's advice didn't help Logan much: either the girl he'd had a crush on forever liked him- or hasn't gotten around to killing him. He was so busy pondering on which of those two Raven felt, whether or not he should ask her to the dance, whether or not if she hadn't gotten around to killing him asking her out would cause his death to come sooner, and why it wasn't as complicated with Terra. Logan mentally slapped himself for thinking about that.
"OW!" Logan hollered in pain.
"Hey, Einstein, watch out for the pole next time," Victor advised.
INSIDE LOBBY OF THE THEATER WHERE
Raven showed the security guard her pass so he knew she was a contestant and walked through the metal detector with out a problem.
"Turn to your left and walk straight to the dressing room. Big yellow star on the door, can't miss it, if you walk too far you'll end up back outside," the security guard said dully as if he said it hundreds of times a year.
Raven waited by the door for her friends. Kori showed him the backstage pass that said she could go backstage into the dressing room with Raven and her ticket.
"Follow your friend to the dressing room. You will be asked to leave the dressing room during show time. Aisle C, third row, seat 12," the security guard said dully. When he became a security guard, he had expected to have more action than an usher seated at a desk. On an interesting day he'd find someone who'd accidentally left a knife in their pocket from when they went fishing or something similar.
"I am most thankful for your help!" Kori told him. She walked through the metal detector without a problem.
Logan showed the security guard his ticket ("Aisle C, third row, seat 14"), walked through no problem.
Victor walked through. DING! Victor mentally slapped himself for not realizing that if a half-robot like him walked through a metal detector it would go off.
"Let me guess," the security guard droned, "you're wearing a belt?"
"Um, yeah?" Victor replied.
"That must've been what went off. Aisle C, third row, seat 15," the security guard said.
Victor couldn't believe the security was that pathetic. Richard had the same problem (bird-a-rang and bo-staff) and same solution ("Aisle C, third row, seat 13"). They didn't say anything until all five of them had entered through the door. (A.N. I might have no memory of who was at the Regis & Kelly Show, but I remember the security!)
"Are places equipped with security this inadequate?" Kori asked.
"Just some," Richard replied.
"Dude, are they serious! Slade would have no problem getting through as long as he had a belt!" Logan wouldn't have cared so much if it wasn't for the fact that Raven was competing in the MTJCBP.
"Okay, y'all. Everyone take one of these," Victor said handing out an earpiece, "and one of these," he handed out a microphone. "We'll meet on the rooftop to plan."
Shadow: I'll reply to reviews next chapter.