Written for the 31days challenge on livejournal. Will be about Conan, Ai, or Conan/Ai.
August 1: Be indomitable, o my heart
Word Count: 193
Ai is so hard to read, so hard to touch. She is wounded, but Conan does not know where, cannot know where unless she tells him--which she won't--because she is not bleeding blood but fear and guilt which she drinks back in, poisoning herself.
Conan thinks he can taste it sometimes, when he's exploring her mouth with his tongue. It tastes like bitter defeat, the belief that this is all a fragile dream that will pop at any moment.
Conan hates how his words can't reach her, how she doesn't believe him even as he slides a hand through her hair and tilts her head just so. He would stop (because this can't be healthy), except that he knows she loves him as well and needs the contact, the reassurance.
What Ai really needs, though, is forgiveness, which is something only she can give herself but won't.
It's frustrating, and Conan sometimes wants to shout at her (sometimes /does/ shout at her), but he never pulls away. He will hold her close until she can stand on her own, and then he will hold her close simply because he loves her.