Note: this chapter has been "fixed", or "revamped" or whatever you crazy kids are calling it these days. The reason for the chance is that I suddenly realized that it, you know, sucked. Sometimes it was too short and sometimes it was just plain stupid. Anywho, the plot isn't changed, just the way of telling it. If you don't have the energy to re-read it, that's totally understandable, but I wish you would because – God - it SUCKED!

Disclaimer: EVERYTHING that appears in this story belongs to Rob Thomas (you are the MAN!) and I guess to UPN or whoever. Anyway, I'm sure you have lives and obligations and stuff, so do us all a favor and don't sue.

A.N: Hey y'all, I'm Lily and this is the first story I've posted ever. I hope you enjoy it and all but most important - PLEASE REVIEW because I really need the feedback, not only to live, but also so that I could improve my grammer because I'm not from an English speaking country and I don't have anywhere to learn these things. Please correct me if you see anything wrong and I'll change it.

So, have I mentioned that you should enjoy? Oh, I have? Heh, never mind... Say, isn't this show awesome?


Logan stared at the city in front of him. Shiny, shiny buildings and streetlights. He looked down and all he could see was the black Pacific Ocean, only tainted a little by stripes of white representing waves crashing with each other and the shore. It was all very poetic.

She jumped into the ocean, get it?

His phone rang, and sadly it was too far away for him to grab and throw down into the water. It would have been nice to see what and object falling God-knows-how-many feet down into icy water would look like. After all, his mother's video was so blurry and he was, obviously, not going to be able to see himself plunge down.

He took another swig from the flask in his right hand (or was it the left? Which was the hand with the watch again?) and laughed bitterly. Killing Lilly. How ridiculous. Might as well say Veronica fucking killed Lilly.

How could she? That bitch. Going to the police, framing him, lying to his face, smiling and telling him she'll take care of it. Let's see her smile when she sees that neat camera angle that would show his abandoned car in the news tomorrow morning. Coronado Bridge Claims Second Echolls. If he's lucky, they'll even find a body this time, if he's luckier, he'll be half eaten by sharks.

He ought to leave a note. Something simple, fitting. You know you're the cause of this, don't you, Veronica? Or maybe something like - What's so great about living, huh Ronnie? Oh, that's bound to make her cry. Salty, delicious tears. He imagined her having long, unbearable sessions with Miss James in which she'll gush for hours about how she should have trusted him, how she lost him. Looks good on you, bitch.

His phone rang again, only this time he seriously contemplated smashing it with a rock. It was probably her calling to apologize, or to accuse him of something else. One could never know when it came to Veronica Mars. One week kissing. One week rape. One week internal joke-y cute teddy bears. This week murder. Who knows what she would have come up with had he lived a little longer - child molestation? Insurance fraud? Hell, anything goes.

Deep down, he knew all these ridiculous accusations were the source of some insecurity issue Veronica had, but he just didn't give a damn. She has worked so hard to destroy anything that could have been between them, who was he to try and oppose it?

And then, all of a sudden, out of nowhere, a thought crept into his mind - a memory: Veronica pressed against him, looking into his eyes questioningly. Oh, so cute.

Oh, so gone.

"Do you think this thing…" she motioned at the two of them, "will ever get more normal?"

The concept amused him as much as he knew it amused her. They sat down, "what, like will we ever hang out at the mall and hold hands and buy each other teddy bears with hearts that say' I Wuv U Beary Much?"

She mock frowned, though he suspected she rather liked that idea. "Yes, exactly that, except I want my bear won through some sort of demonstration of ring tossing ability," she said, all serious-like.

He looked into her eyes and finally understood what was on her mind. It's not the teddy bears she wanted; it was the normality, the security. She needed to trust someone. Basically she was asking: will this ever be safe?

Logan smiled softly, but knew he couldn't promise her all those things yet. So instead he settled into leaning closer to her and whispering: "well, secrets are kind of hot, too."

She seemed content enough with that response. He was so happy about managing to avoid a tiresome and clearly painful confrontation that he didn't even bother to lead her upstairs to her room and just devoured her right there on the couch.

Logan wiped his eyes (Tears? Hmm, where did they come from?) He shook his head frantically, trying to shove the memories away. However, the more he tried, the more they seemed to mock him by vividly assaulting his brain. Why did old Jack Daniels always insist on giving him flashbacks?

"Dude, they're not gonna win. No way. Right Logan?" Luke asked him a few days after the Incident with Dad (aka star of The Breaking Point, and Beyond the Breaking Point).

Logan opened his locker distractedly, "dude, I so don't care," he muttered.

Luke nodded stupidly, "oh right, you don't watch baseball, I forgot."

Logan chuckled and decided that one of Luke's lectures about whatever he was he liked to lecture about would be perfect. "Humor me, though," he said, "why won't they win?"

Luke started a baseball related explanation which seemed to amuse Logan but bore poor Dick to tears when Beaver suddenly pointed at something inside Logan's locker, "what's that?" he asked with disgust.

Logan, Dick and Luke followed his gaze until they found themselves staring back at a cute, fluffy little white bear sporting a red shirt with a giant heart that said 'I WUV YOU BEARY MUCH!'

Logan chuckled softly despite himself and tried to not be too happy (at least on the outside) as Dick took it out and examined it. Judging from his expression, one might think he saw the movie Toy Story one too many times and developed an unhealthy fear of dolls.

"Yo," he said with loathing, "what the freaking hell is this?"

Logan placed a hand on his heart, "why it's a puffy little bear. Just what I wanted for Christmas! Nice work, Santa!"

"Where'd it come from?" Beaver wondered actually looking up at the sky as if he was half expecting to see some flying Teddy Bear demons.

Dick smirked, "is this like a secret admirer thing?" he asked as they walked into class – Biology. One of the classes he was good at for some reason but hated with all his guts. One of the 2 classes he was sharing with Veronica.

"What, are we like in the 8th grade?" Shawn, appearing out of nowhere, asked with sincere disbelief.

"Hey," Dick suddenly perked, "I bet it was Karen," he said dirtily and pointed at a girl sitting a few tables to his right, "she's totally into you."

Logan looked at her and felt slightly sick. She was beautiful, sure, as any cheerleader was, but the way she sat – stiff as a rock so that her skirt wouldn't wrinkle – and the way she spoke – as if her head was filled with little crickets - made him want to throw some acid on her carefully laid doe. This worried him. When did he stop liking the Caitlin Ford types? Why was he growing too attached to Veronica? This was so not gonna end well.

It didn't help, of course, that she was fooling around with Mac at a table behind Karen, looking genuinely happy, which was a sight so rare with her that he couldn't get himself to tear his eyes away.

She was adorable.

Karen waved at him suggestively and he realized he had forgotten all about her. From the way she was looking at him, it actually seemed possible that she was the one who put the bear in his locker (if so, what a spaz). Not to mention, Veronica hasn't been making eye contact at all.

Dick let out a laugh that had no good intentions in it, "look how she's waving at you, man. You so own it."

Shawn groaned, "who the hell would wanna go out with someone who brings you teddy bears? What'll be next? Little flowery notes that say Logan & Karen 4 evah?"

Beaver chuckled stupidly, probably to make up for the fact that he almost never said anything in these chats.

"Dude, chicks like that are the easiest kind," Dick smugged back.

Logan had to admit he had a point. Girls like Karen were totally the easiest kind. A little 'I love you baby', some drinks, some gifts and there they were, naked and on top of you. He had to pick the most complicated one, of course. The one who was still not making eye contact, but was looking sweeter and sweeter by the minute, especially now that she and Mac were giggling at some private joke of theirs.

The teacher, thankfully, entered the class and distracted him from Veronica and the pretty revolting argument Dick and Shawn were having about which girls were the easiest to get into bed – needy cheerleaders or anorexics\bulimics with a self image complex.

The teacher ordered them to take a microscope and start working on something totally boring, and totally easy. Karen was still smiling at him, by the way, what a loser. Surely his disinterested face conveyed how not interested he was, right?

They started working and after a few minutes Veronica informed the teacher that she finished the assignment. The teacher seemed impressed and sent her off to help kids in trouble. Good to know the teacher was doing her job by sending other students to teach the class.

Logan raised his hand and looked at the teacher with confusion. She nodded to Veronica (not before shooting him a suspicious glance), who approached him with an unreadable smile.

"Hey there Dr. Jackal, what can I do for you?" she said teasingly.

Damnit, she really knew how to turn him on with the smallest things. Self control now. "I can't make it work," he said with phony puzzlement, "don't know where I'm wrong."

She leaned to the microscope and examined it, flipping her hair quite cruelly next to his face, close enough for him to smell her shampoo. And her perfume. Damn her. And his friends are close, might be looking. Damn her, damn her, damn her.

"There," she said after a few seconds, "it wasn't the right lens."

No duh, Sherlock. "Good job, Mars, thanks" he said. There was a slight tease in his voice but it could easily be confused with their usual banter. Thankfully, no one expected them to be sworn enemies anymore on account of them not planting bongs in each other lockers or smashing each other's headlights anymore. But the road from there to showing up together at the prom was quite long and quite bumpy.

Veronica smirked at him, "you're beary welcomed," she said, still leaned next to him.

Damn her.

Wow. That was a long flashback. Logan got so caught up in it he that didn't even notice he was really standing on the edge of the bridge now. His toes were already placed over nothing and his balance was threatening to follow them.

No worries. It was a nice memory to die with.


So, better? Dear Lord, I hope so…